But even if she did become so lost to reason and prudence as to take those risks, an involvement between them wouldn’t be fair to Ransleigh. He’d shown disarming candour in confessing that he was still at his life’s crossroads. It would be wrong to try to attach him now. Sooner or later, he would find the occupation he sought, and land on his feet again. Once launched upon the new endeavour—and some interaction with society would inevitably be part of it—he deserved far better than an old maid past her last prayers with a troop of children in tow, a woman whose position in society would do him not a particle of good in advancing along whatever path he chose to pursue.
The keenness with which she missed him, and strength of temptation to seek him out, only reinforced her conviction that parting from him was necessary.
It was also miserable. Well, she’d endured ‘miserable’ before; she must simply grit her teeth, keep moving forward, and wait until the need for him faded.
As it must, eventually. Mustn’t it?
A touch at her arm shocked her out of her melancholy reverie. Beside her stood one of the footmen who’d accompanied her from Thornfield to transport the heavy items. ‘Miss Branwell, there’s a soldier outside asking to see you.’
Curiosity replaced introspection. She didn’t recall that any of Papa’s troopers hailed from Suffolk. ‘Did he give you his name?’
‘Lieutenant Audley Tremaine. He said he’d worked with your father.’
Distaste soured her stomach and she frowned. What could Audley Tremaine want with her? She wished she’d been able to repeat to her father some of the crude insinuations he’d made after her return from the convent; Papa would have used him for target practice, and she’d not have to deal with him now.
Though she had no wish to see him, neither would she give him the satisfaction of thinking he intimidated her. Still, not wanting to have the children witness the unpleasantness that would probably arise at their exchange, she decided to meet him outside.
‘I don’t want the students disturbed. Tell the lieutenant I’ll join him by the pasture fence.’
After giving the footman time to deliver her message, she took a deep breath and girded herself for what was probably to come. You will be cool, distant—and will not let him make you lose your temper, she instructed as she exited the building.
She saw him immediately, lounging by the fence, his black gelding tied to a nearby tree. Before she’d met Marshall, she’d found the attentions of the tall, handsome, arrogantly charming Lieutenant Tremaine flattering and exciting. Until acquaintance with a man far his superior made his attractions look as insignificant as a copper farthing beside a gold sovereign.
He straightened when she reached him and made a mocking bow. ‘Well, well, Theo Branwell, imagine finding you in the wilds of Suffolk!’
‘Indeed,’ she said, not offering her hand. ‘Whatever brings you to the wilds of Suffolk?’
‘The desire to renew your charming acquaintance?’
‘Since we didn’t part on friendly terms, I doubt that.’
‘We could have been friendly. We could still be very...friendly.’
Trying not to grit her teeth, she said, ‘Weren’t you selling out? So you could resume attending house parties where there are bored matrons to seduce?’
The smile on his handsome face faded. ‘Not kind to remind me that my ancient name came unaccompanied by the funds to maintain it. Yes, I’ve sold out, but ladies find a man in uniform so appealing! I’m sure you noticed the effect.’
‘I’d say it depended on the man.’
Ignoring that jibe, he continued. ‘My business elsewhere didn’t preclude my stopping by to see you. Quite a fuss you’ve created in the neighbourhood, I understand! Over a pint at the King’s Arms in Hadwell, I heard all about your pious zeal for the poor orphans. How are the little tykes?’
‘Please don’t pretend now you have any interest in them. I remember too well your disdain for father’s sergeant-major’s son.’
‘Hanging on to them after the old man’s death to remember him by? How pious and proper. Ha!’ He laughed. ‘If the townspeople here only knew.’
‘Now that you’ve offered the usual insults, isn’t it time to leave?’
‘I might have offered you marriage instead, once upon a time. Though after Marshall arrived with his handsome face, large fortune, and future title, I knew I didn’t have a chance. Now that he’s met his sad end, however, there might be...other opportunities. Not marriage any longer, of course.’
‘Not now that I’m “damaged goods”, you mean?’
Tremaine laughed. ‘I always admired your spirit. I knew a lass with your energy and enthusiasm would have to be passionate—and we both know how right I was, eh? I figure by now, you’ve had time to finish grieving and become...lonely.’
‘I will never be that lonely. But don’t despair; at this house party or the next, you may find an heiress with less-than-vigilant relations you may cozen into marrying you before she realises what you are. Not everyone can be as fortunate as I was.’
He merely smiled. ‘You always had a sharp tongue on you. I’ve always hungered to taste it...and more.’
At that moment, Charles ran over to tug at her sleeve. ‘Miss Theo! Teacher says she needs you to come tell our story now.’
‘Very well,’ she said, patting the boy on the shoulder. ‘Tell Miss Andrews I’ll be with you in a moment.’
Turning back to her tormenter, who stood regarding her with a smirk she longed to slap off his face, she said, ‘I’m afraid I can’t stay and trade insults any longer.’
‘Cute little urchin, and too well spoken to be an enlisted man’s leavings,’ Tremaine said, watching Charles skip back towards the building. ‘Was that Everly’s brat? Funny, with him and his doxy so dark, to have the boy turn out so fair. He’s almost as blond as...’
Tremaine’s words trailed off and amazed recognition lit his eyes. Consternation filled Theo as the lieutenant turned back to scrutinise the child until he was lost to sight inside the building.
‘Well, now, what an interesting development,’ he murmured, looking back at Theo. ‘Ah, the stories I could tell! Maybe you’d like to reconsider my offer?’
Desperately Theo schooled her face to indifference, hoping Tremaine hadn’t seen the flash of fear in her eyes.
‘Why ever would I wish to do that?’ she asked in a bored tone. While her mind raced, trying to decide whether it would be more effective to add another dismissive disclaimer, or say nothing further, she suddenly noted the sound of approaching hoofbeats. Relief filled her when she turned to see that Dominic was nearly upon them.
‘You’ll have to excuse me. Here’s my landlord, coming to consult about the property.’
Tremaine looked over her shoulder. ‘Dominic Ransleigh! Might not have recognised him, but for the missing arm. I’d forgotten his family had an estate in Suffolk. “Consulting about property”, eh? Darling, if you’re still giving it away for free, why waste your charms on a cripple? A real man could make it so much better for you.’
At that insult to Ransleigh, her control, already pushed to the edge by Tremaine’s insinuations and her own panic, finally snapped. Stepping forward, Theo slapped his face with all the force she could muster.
Chapter Thirteen
Trembling with rage and dismay, Theo jumped when Ransleigh suddenly materialised right behind her.
‘Is something amiss?’
Theo forced her voice to calm. ‘Nothing I can’t handle. Lieutenant Tremaine was just leaving.’
‘Am I? With all the stories I have to tell?’ Tremaine said, a challenge on his face as he rubbed at the scarlet mark of her palm on his cheek.
With a great show of indifference, she shrugged. ‘Tell whatever tales you like. No one of discernment gives any credence to what y
ou say anyway. Now, you really should be leaving.’
‘Perhaps you need further encouragement?’ Ransleigh said, his voice a snarl and his one hand curling into a fist.
Tremaine looked from Theo to Ransleigh and back. ‘Not this time. Wouldn’t want to distress the urchins. But you may be hearing from me again, Theo.’
Motioning Ransleigh, who looked ready to have a go anyway, to stay where he was, Theo said, ‘I devoutly hope not. Have a pleasant life, Lieutenant Tremaine.’
He stared at her, but she faced him down, unsmiling, until finally he broke eye contact. ‘Sure you won’t reconsider?’
At her curt negative shake of the head, he said, ‘Your choice. Don’t blame me if you—and your little urchins—have cause later to regret it.’
At that, with a negligent nod to Ransleigh, Tremaine strode to his mount, threw himself in the saddle, and rode off.
As Theo took a shuddering breath, trying to slow the racing of her heart, Ransleigh said, ‘Why did you stop me? If that varlet said something meriting a slap, I would have enjoyed planting my fist in his face. Although, accustomed as I am to your plain speaking, telling him no one believes anything he says was a bit harsh.’
‘It wasn’t kind, perhaps, but I hope to prevent him carrying tales. My reputation is...already sullied, but I would like to prevent him tarnishing yours.’
‘Sullied?’ Ransleigh said, an odd note in his voice. ‘Forgive me, I overhead some of your conversation as I approached. Surely he didn’t say you were “giving it away for free”? How could you keep me from punishing him for uttering something so scurrilous?’
Theo sighed. ‘Will you walk with me? I don’t want the children to overhear, and after what you saw—and heard—you’ll want an explanation.’
‘I wouldn’t wish to pry into the private details of your life.’
She laughed without humour. ‘Unlike me, who had no hesitation about prying in yours. But there has always been honesty between us, and you ought to know the truth about your tenant—unless you’d rather not hear it.’
After a short pause, he said, ‘If it concerns you, I’d like to hear it.’
‘Very well. Let me tell Miss Andrews I’ll be another few minutes.’
After informing the teacher she’d be delayed, Theo rejoined Mr Ransleigh. She hoped he’d have enough compassion for the children not to reveal to anyone what she was about to confess. Even though, she knew with a sick certainty that made her stomach churn, she would surely forfeit his respect once she’d told him.
No point delaying the unpleasantness any further.
Waving him to follow, she set off walking. Once they were out of sight and hearing of the school, she said, ‘Let me come straight to the point. While Tremaine’s wording was crude, it’s still...true. I suppose, after that kiss in the wildflower meadow, you suspected that I’m not an innocent. I’ve told you how much I loved Marshall. We were to be married as soon as I returned from escorting Lord Everly’s wife back to England.’
She fell silent a moment, lost in the memories. Probably shocked speechless to find that a woman he’d thought virtuous, wasn’t, he didn’t prompt her to continue.
‘How many times I’ve regretted not insisting we find the nearest chaplain to marry us before I left!’ she said at last. ‘But Marshall wanted me to have a proper wedding when the army went into winter quarters in Lisbon, with a reception for all our friends and Papa giving me away in a smart new gown. So we waited—for the wedding. But I didn’t want to wait to belong to him completely...and he didn’t deny me that.’
‘Unfortunately, the night we slipped away, Tremaine followed us. And watched, apparently. When I returned from the convent with Charles, he started shadowing me, making suggestive overtures whenever he caught me alone. He seemed to think that if I’d allowed Marshall to touch me, I was fair game for any man.’
‘And you never told your father of this?’ Ransleigh interrupted. ‘I can’t imagine he would have tolerated it!’
‘No, Papa would probably have shot him, or at least run him out of camp. But Tremaine was very careful not to make his insinuations where others could overhear him. It would have been difficult to accuse him to Papa without having to confess the whole and I...I dreaded forfeiting Papa’s good opinion. As, I fear, I’ve now lost yours.’
He frowned. ‘Do you know me so little as to think I would disdain you for giving yourself to the man you meant to marry, when men take women lightly all the time without reproof? If I did not know you must be upset by Tremaine’s visit, I’d be insulted.’
Her throat felt tight, and tears threatened. ‘Most men have different standards for themselves and for women. When a maid gives herself to a man, and does not end up marrying him, she is scorned.’
‘Miss Branwell, I have never known a woman more principled and honourable than you! And before you insult me again by asking, I have no intention of betraying your confidence to anyone.’
Knowing what she’d not told him, his unqualified support was almost worse than disdain. She considered confessing the whole...but gentleman though he was, the risk was still too great.
Swallowing hard, digging her nails into her palms to keep the tears at bay, she whispered, ‘You are too kind.’
‘Not at all,’ he retorted, ‘though I was too courteous. For his insults and for upsetting you, I should have pummelled Tremaine anyway, despite the possibility of the children overhearing us.’
‘I’m glad you did not. I have a singular dislike of a man being punished for telling the truth. Besides, he was the best pugilist in the regiment.’
‘All the better to prove what I can still do with one hand. But can he make trouble for you?’
‘If he were to cast aspersions on my character, Lady Wentworth—and others—would likely withdraw their support. But with the school already staffed, and with agreements in place for the local masters to apprentice willing students, the effect wouldn’t be as devastating as it would have been earlier. I’d have to press Aunt Amelia to find places for the girls.’
‘I couldn’t do much for the girls, but I’d certainly be willing to help find positions for the boys.’
‘I don’t think it will come to that—but now you’ve made the offer, I will hold you to it!’ she warned. ‘Tremaine probably only discovered I was here by chance, when he broke his journey at the public house in Hadwell. A younger son with expensive tastes and no means, before the war he cultivated those who could entertain him in the style he prefers, drifting from country estate to hunting box to the London town houses of wealthier friends. Technically now out of the army despite the uniform, he’s taken up that pastime again.’
‘I am glad that his call provided me opportunity to see you.’
She looked up at him, surprised. ‘You knew about it?’
‘Tremaine stopped at Bildenstone for directions to the school. Wilton—and the rest of the staff, apparently—were concerned about the safety of you and the children out here, alone and unprotected.’
Embarrassment—and gratitude—warmed her face. ‘That was kind of them.’
‘You shouldn’t find it surprising. The Lady Wentworths of the county may look down their noses at your efforts, but your concern for the welfare of the lowliest in the parish has won you the admiration of everyone else.’
‘Take care of your soldiers and your sergeants, and the men will take care of you, Papa always said,’ she murmured, feeling again that ache at his loss.
‘True, and some commanders do so out of self-interest. But the men recognise those who treat them well out of respect and concern, and they don’t forget it.’
‘Much as I appreciate your reinforcements, I hope you didn’t feel compelled to interrupt your work to come rescue me. As you saw, I was able to handle it myself.’
‘I was glad to come. I know we agr
eed—or rather, you dictated—that we should avoid one another, but I owe you thanks for your advice. After the horrors you observed when we rode about the estate, I thought you might like to know how things are progressing.’
Despite knowing how important it was to start distancing herself from him, she couldn’t help feeling a flush of pleasure. ‘I would indeed.’
‘The first project was riding the rest of Bildenstone’s acreage, followed by an inspection of the estate ledgers. Unsurprisingly, I concluded that Winniston was at best incompetent and worst, skimming more off the top than he was entitled to. After Father’s death, he had no oversight; all the estate income was kept by him or deposited in the accounts, with nothing reinvested in the land or the tenants.’
She nodded, thinking of the old equipment and rundown dwellings they’d passed. ‘That was rather evident.’
‘I’ve removed him, with a pension only because of his family’s generations of service at Bildenstone. As soon as I complete the rest of the ledgers, I’m going to Newmarket to consult with the stable manager about selling my hunters. I may stop afterward at Holkham Hall to see Thomas Coke and consult with him about the latest in agricultural techniques. Perhaps get a recommendation for a new estate manager.’
Theo searched his expression—which looked resigned, but with none of the despair she’d seen in it before when he talked of selling off his hunters. He seemed...at peace with the decision, and ready to move beyond his loss.
‘I’m glad. Letting go isn’t easy, but acceptance is the first step in forging ahead.’ Then she had to laugh. ‘Listen to me, pontificating, when I’ve never been any good at it myself.’
‘Some things, you never want to let go,’ he said quietly.
Something in the timbre of his voice pulled her gaze back to his. A shimmering cloud of sensation enveloped them, breathtaking as a thousand dust motes gilded by the sun. But there was sweetness too, empathy, and a deep connection that curled around her heart like a pair of loving hands and made her bones ache with longing.
The Rake to Reveal Her Page 14
