by Noelle Adams
“That’s what you always said, but there had to be some reason for it. You never told me what it was.”
Ginny cleared her throat. “Sometimes things just don’t work out.”
“That’s a ridiculous thing to say. A relationship doesn’t happen in some sort of fated universe. Certain things occur that cause it to not work out, and you’ve never been able to talk about what they were.”
That was true. Even with Emma and Carol, she’d always been vague about the circumstances of her breakup with Ryan, and no one had pushed because of their intersecting relationships. No one wanted to cause a rift that would tear their circle of friends apart.
Ginny breathed for a minute before she finally said, “He was serious. Too serious, too soon. He was graduating from college and wanted to... to make things permanent. I... was nineteen. I wasn’t ready.”
Nan didn’t react to this admission. She just nodded and sipped her tea. Finally she asked lightly, “Would you be ready now?”
Ginny made a helpless gesture with her hands. “I... I have no idea. And it doesn’t matter. We’re not together anymore.”
“But you’d like to be. Wouldn’t you?”
Ginny stared at her grandmother, slammed with a wave of astonishment as she realized Nan was right.
She’d never acknowledged it before, but it was true.
She did want to be with Ryan again, the way they’d been in college.
She wanted it more than anything, even knowing she’d probably make a mess of it again.
Nan obviously didn’t need Ginny to answer with words. “I thought so. So why not see what happens, now that you both are older. Don’t you think he’d like to give it another try with you?”
“No. No, he really doesn’t. He had no trouble moving on, and he’s been moving on ever since. He’s not still thinking about me that way. In fact...” She trailed off, realizing Nan might not approve of her crazy competition with Ryan.
“In fact what?”
Ginny gave a huff of laughter. “The truth is we have a little contest going about who is more attractive to the opposite sex. We’re collecting phone numbers for the next month to see who can get the most.”
Nan rolled her eyes. “You’re not going to do anything foolish, are you?”
“Of course not. They’re just phone numbers. It’s just a silly game. But my point is that, if he still had feelings, he’d never want to see me going around and getting other guys’ phone numbers. It wouldn’t make any sense. He really doesn’t think about me that way anymore.”
Nan reached over to pat Ginny’s hand affectionately. “My dear girl. Don’t you know by now? Human beings very rarely do things that make sense. That’s what makes us human.”
RYAN USUALLY WOKE UP at dawn to take care of his animals, but he slept until just before seven that morning.
He lived on a big piece of property outside of town where he’d have room for his goats, chickens, ducks, and dogs.
He usually enjoyed taking care of them. But on Sunday morning as he went through his morning chores, he had trouble clearing his mind and focusing on the simple tasks.
He wondered if he’d made a big mistake in that ridiculous competition with Ginny.
It had made perfect sense last night, after two drinks and in the midst of a familiar friendly rivalry. But now he couldn’t help but think about how he would feel for the next four weeks, watching Ginny hitting on guy after guy.
It wasn’t something he was looking forward to.
He was still tossing scratch out for his chickens when his phone buzzed with a text.
It was Carol. You up?
He didn’t have enough free hands to text her back so he just connected a call to her. She didn’t usually text just to chat, so she must have had something to say.
“What’s up?” he asked, still tossing out scratch with his free hand as the chickens scurried around the ground, pecking it up with exuberance. “I thought you took Sundays off.”
“I do, but I had to come in this morning because one of the girls called in sick. What time did you leave last night?”
“I don’t know. Sometime after midnight. I stayed until Ginny left.”
“Oh. Good. Hey, listen. Mom just called me.”
“Is everything all right?”
Their parents still lived in Blacksburg, and Ryan and Carol saw them regularly. It was strange for their mother to call Carol early on a Sunday morning.
“Yeah, no emergency or anything. Mom just wanted to give me a lecture on settling down.”
“What?”
“I don’t know. She’s got something in her head about how we’re not taking life seriously.”
“What?” Ryan repeated, more forcefully now. “We’ve both got good careers, and we’re healthy and have never been arrested. We’re not even thirty yet. What does she expect?”
“I don’t know. She wants grandkids, I think, and she thinks we’re... we’re...” Carol gave a little laugh. “She said we’re playing the field too much.”
Ryan groaned. “You’re not playing the field. You haven’t even dated for a while.”
“Ten months,” Carol said with exaggerated distress. “It’s been ten months.”
“She’s talking about me.” Ryan stood outside the chicken coop and stared at his two silver Labrador retrievers, Comet and Astor, who were bounding around the pasture behind the house, chasing each other. “She’s worried about me?”
“I don’t know. Not in a serious way. But you know how she is. She’s probably been brooding about it and talking to Dad, and it’s finally spilling out to me. I think you better expect to hear something from her about it.”
Ryan frowned. “I’m not that bad.”
Carol hesitated. “You don’t treat women badly or anything. But you do date a lot. She knows you go out with different women every week.”
“A lot of guys do. What is she worried about?”
“I don’t know exactly—maybe that you’ll never settle down.”
“Why do I have to settle down?” Ryan didn’t normally talk about this kind of thing with his sister, but he was really bothered by the fact that his mother thought there was something wrong with his life.
He messed up occasionally, just like everyone else, but he thought he generally had it together. He wasn’t a stunning professional success like Patrick or Noah, but he had a good job and a house of his own. A lot of guys were still piled together in apartments at his age, playing video games and barely scraping by. Surely he wasn’t a disappointment.
Yes, he was having trouble letting go of one doomed relationship, but other than that he was doing okay.
“You don’t have to yet,” Carol said, obviously sensing that he was upset. “She’s really proud of you. She’s just being Mom.”
“But why do I have to settle down at all?”
Carol paused again. “I guess you don’t, but you probably will eventually. Won’t you?”
“I don’t know.”
Another pause. Longer this time. “Why wouldn’t you?”
“It might not be for me.”
“Of course it’s for you. No one would be a better husband and father than you. Look at how well you take care of your animals.”
“Animals are different. I... I don’t know. I used to think that’s what I wanted, but that was a long time ago.”
Ryan had no idea why he was admitting this. He wasn’t a person prone to confessions. He was laid-back, friendly, low-key. He didn’t normally have serious conversations. They’d always made him uncomfortable.
“With Ginny, you mean?” Carol’s voice was slightly wobbly.
Of course he meant with Ginny.
He’d had their whole life planned out—engagement, marriage, children, everything—but she hadn’t wanted it.
She hadn’t even given him the chance to offer her the ring.
“It doesn’t matter,” he muttered.
“It does matter. She broke your heart. I know she
did. She didn’t mean to, but she did.”
Ryan’s hand was shaking. He could hardly hold the phone still. “It wasn’t her fault,” he managed to say. “She didn’t want what I wanted, and I pressured her too much. I don’t blame her for breaking up with me.”
“I don’t blame her either. You two just weren’t in the same place. But that doesn’t mean she didn’t break your heart. But just because it didn’t work with Ginny doesn’t mean it won’t work with anyone. Don’t you still want what you wanted then?”
He didn’t.
Not really.
Because he’d wanted it with Ginny.
“Eh,” he began, trying desperately to sound casual. “I was young and stupid. I think I’m better this way.”
“If you’re happy this way, then of course I’m good with it. I stood up for you with Mom and told her how well you’re doing. But...” Carol trailed off.
Ryan started to ask her what she’d intended to say, but then he stopped himself.
He had a feeling it was better not to know.
ON SATURDAY NIGHT, Ryan and Ginny made plans to meet at a different bar in downtown Blacksburg, one they’d been to a lot. It was a good atmosphere for their competition and usually had nearly equal numbers of men and women. None of their friends felt like coming out tonight, so they were there alone.
Ryan was actually relieved. He enjoyed hanging out with his friends, of course, but it was easier to focus on getting phone numbers when all his friends weren’t scrutinizing him.
It would be easier to focus if Ginny weren’t looking quite so gorgeous.
This evening she was wearing a little gray dress. The skirt was short, and the neckline was lower than he was comfortable with.
For one, it was hard to keep his body under control when she was looking like that.
For another, he had to put up with all the other men in the club leering at her.
Neither one was good for Ryan’s sense of calm.
They’d been there for an hour, and he’d gotten four phone numbers. He was working on a fifth, chatting up a cute little redhead who’d been eyeing him since he arrived.
They were talking about her literature degree—a topic that was of absolutely no interest to him. He’d learned to act interested, however. It was one of the most important parts of attracting women—listening to what they said. He’d dug up every kernel of knowledge he remembered from the one literature survey he took in college, and she’d teased him for not knowing more.
She was telling him about her master’s thesis when Ryan’s eyes strayed over to Ginny.
She was talking to a guy near the bar. He looked like an academic—maybe someone in math or engineering—and he was gazing at Ginny like she was a wet dream come to life. Ginny was laughing and patting his arm, her big green eyes resting on the man’s face.
Ryan wasn’t surprised the guy was responding.
Any straight man with a pulse and a libido would be responding to Ginny right now.
It was hard not to remember when she’d looked at him that way. It had been a long time, but it wasn’t like Ryan could ever forget.
“Do you know that girl?” the woman beside him asked, breaking into his thoughts.
Ryan blinked and turned his eyes back to the redhead. “Oh, yeah, uh, sorry about that.”
“So you do know her?”
“Yeah. She’s a friend.”
“A friend? You sure she’s not an ex?”
There must have been something in his face that the woman had picked up on, something that revealed way too much. “We were—but it’s been a long time.”
The redhead batted her eyes and reached over to stroke his shoulder lightly. “So don’t you think it’s time for you to move on?”
It was time to move on.
It was long since time to move on.
Ryan should have moved on ages ago.
He had no idea why he was still looking at Ginny and seeing everything he wanted.
That was totally futile thinking, and he wasn’t going to indulge it. He’d made a decision to get over her for good, and he was going to hold himself to it. He gave the redhead a slow grin. “It’s definitely time to move on.”
GINNY HADN’T TALKED to Ryan since they’d both arrived, and she was doing her best not to look over in his direction.
She’d been doing really well tonight. After three hours, she had ten phone numbers.
She probably could have gotten more, but if she moved more quickly between men, they would have noticed what she was doing and wouldn’t have taken her seriously. Ryan had the same issue, and it was probably harder for him since women tended to be more careful about giving out their phone numbers than men were.
She’d noticed Ryan’s movement around the room and had kept track of the number of women he’d talked to. She was sure he couldn’t have collected more numbers than she had.
They’d agreed the competition would end at midnight, and she managed to get her last phone number three minutes before twelve. Saying goodbye to the man with a smile, she looked around the club for Ryan.
He was in a dark corner with a curvy brunette.
Ginny waited the three minutes, trying not to bristle at the sexy way he was looking at her. Flirting like that was second nature to Ryan. It didn’t mean anything.
He was trying to win this competition. Just like she was.
At exactly midnight, she strode over to him.
When he and the brunette looked at her in surprise, she said, “Midnight. Time’s up.”
“What is she talking about?” the brunette asked Ryan, visibly annoyed by the interruption.
Ginny gave Ryan a significant look. “Time’s up. No cheating.”
He nodded, murmuring an apology to the brunette as he straightened and then walked toward the door with Ginny.
They went outside since it was too dark in the bar to sort through their results. They stood on the sidewalk near the door, where they counted out numbers, standing on the sidewalk.
“Ha!” Ginny said with a swell of pleasure. “I got one more than you did!”
“I was about to get that last one.” Ryan didn’t look annoyed or frustrated or upset by his loss. He looked amused and relaxed—as he normally did. “If you’d given me thirty more seconds.”
“Midnight is midnight. No cheating. I’m ahead by one.”
Ryan chuckled. “It’s only the first week. We’ve got three more Saturday nights. Next week, we’re going to have to go to a less nerdy place. You have an advantage here with all these geeks who’ve never even gotten to third base.”
“That advantage works in your favor too. Girls can be nerdy too, you know.” Adrenaline was pulsing through her veins, for no good reason, and her breath had sped up.
Ryan’s eyes were soft and warm, and they never left her face. His body was very big and very hard and only a few inches away from her. “I still say you have the advantage here.” His voice was low and husky.
She realized she was touching his arm. She wasn’t even conscious of doing so. His forearm was solid under the fabric of his shirt. “I don’t think so.”
He leaned in closer to her. “I think so.”
He was a flirt. He did it like breathing. But he hadn’t flirted with her since they’d broken up in college.
Being faced with it now was overwhelming. It made her flush with heat.
She swallowed hard and tried to remind herself that this was Ryan. He was her brother’s best friend. And sometimes her friend.
But anything else between them was impossible. They’d proven that painfully back in college.
She wasn’t going to mess up what they had now just because he seemed to have forgotten that she was the one person he didn’t flirt with.
She cleared her throat and dropped her hand. “If you want to suggest someplace else, that’s fine, but we’ll both have to agree to it.”
Ryan’s expression changed—subtly but in a way that was impossible to mistake. He took a
step back. “I’ll think about it. Are you okay to drive home?”
“I was carrying around the same half-drunk drink the whole night. I didn’t even finish it. I could drive to California and back without a problem. But I’m staying at Emma’s tonight since she’s with Noah all weekend, so I don’t have to drive anywhere.”
“Good. I’ll walk you back.”
Emma’s small apartment building was just a few blocks from the bar. They walked in silence, and Ginny was strangely aware of Ryan’s presence beside her.
When she reached the building, she unlocked the street door with the key code Emma had given her, and then she glanced back at Ryan.
He was gazing at her, still not saying anything.
“Okay,” she said.
“Okay.”
“See you later.” Before she could move, her phone buzzed with a text, and she lifted it to look. A little smile played around the side of her mouth as she read. Emma had evidently gotten into an argument with Noah about what movie to watch that evening, and now Emma needed to vent. It wasn’t the first time it had happened. Ginny was the best friend, after all, but it was the first time it had happened after midnight. “I better get going.”
Ryan frowned. “Nan?”
Ginny shook her head. “Not Nan.”
Ryan’s frown deepened. “Then who is it?”
“How is that any of your business?” Her tone was teasing, and she gave Ryan a little wave as she walked through the door.
Ryan stood on the sidewalk until the door closed behind her. He was waiting for her to get inside before he walked back to his car.
He was that kind of guy.
Exactly the kind of guy she liked best.
But they’d made a mess of things last time—she’d made a mess of it because she hadn’t been able to give him what he wanted—and surely it would be stupid to try it again.
Three
The next morning, Ryan had a headache and a sick feeling in his stomach.
He wasn’t even sure why.
He’d only had two beers the night before, so he definitely wasn’t hungover. Nothing had happened the previous evening to make him feel so bad today, but he didn’t want to get out of bed.
