by Mikayla Lane
“Do you rem…” Reven looked up and shook his head as he fought to control his emotions before trying again. “Remember when we were young, and we had all these hopes and dreams for the future? How we would imagine… all these wonderful things that would happen in our lives?”
Ivint smiled sadly and nodded his head, afraid if he interrupted, his friend would never release the pain and fear roaring through his energy as he waited for his mate to awaken.
“I spent a thousand years watching every single one of those dreams come true for you. I remember the joy I felt for you when you first saw Sacara in the Calardrian market and knew she was your mate. When Scaden came, I felt as if he were my own. I couldn’t be happier and more proud of him and the man he’s grown into.”
“But when I saw Jax…” Reven choked up again and paused for a moment while Ivint put a comforting hand on his shoulder. Reven angrily shrugged it off and continued.
“When I first saw her, she was all I could think of… day and night, no matter what I was doing or what mission I was on, she was always there in the back of my mind. That smile that is so beautiful you can’t help but smile with her…” Reven paused again, trying to control himself as he kept choking on his own boiling emotions. He laughed hollowly before he turned his devastated gaze to Ivint.
“I was jealous of the loyalty and love she felt for her friends and all those animals… then I realized that once I won her over, I would be a part of that love and loyalty. I was so close…” Reven said before he stood and roared in pain.
Ivint stood abruptly and pulled his friend into a tight hug, refusing to let go even as Reven fought him half-heartedly. His heart broke for Reven, and he ignored the tears gathering in his own eyes over the pain he felt. This couldn’t go on; he thought as he pulled Reven’s head back and made him look into his eyes.
“Listen to me. This is not over. She is not gone. You still have the chance for those dreams, my friend. Do not give up hope. You above all people here, know just how stubborn she is, do not discount her from the fight yet.” Ivint said roughly, trying to control his own fears for his friend and his friend’s mate.
Both men were pushed hard as Cal came up to Reven and rubbed his large body against his leg. Reven leaned down and petted the soft fur of the cat. Feeling himself begin to calm he sat heavily in the chair. When Cal rested his head in his lap, Reven continued to absently stroke him.
Melina looked at Reven and shook her head at him. “He’s right.” She said, nodding at Ivint before continuing.
“Jax is getting better every hour. I can feel it. She’s getting stronger, and she’ll be back with us. Ask him.” Melina said as she gestured to Amun, who was glued to his comm in the corner of the room until he heard his name.
“What?! Is something…” Amun shot to his feet, embarrassed that he’d been ignoring everyone in the room while he replayed the vid of the healing Lara, and the others had done earlier.
He looked to the bed and still seeing Jax’s prone form; he grabbed his comm and started running the complicated scans that would tell him the functioning levels of every part of her brain. He was so stunned at the results; he ran them again.
“She’s getting better, isn’t she?” Melina asked the doctor with a happy smile, already knowing the answer.
“Amun…” Ivint began impatiently, praying that the child was right and Jax was recovering.
Amun looked at Reven’s desperate stare and nodded his head with a small smile of relief and wonder. “It’s slow going, Reven. But it’s there. Let me show you…” Amun said as he put the images from his comm to the screen behind the bed Jax was laying in.
“Here and this whole new area where her beast is now embedded, are alive with new activity.” Amun said, pointing out the areas before continuing. “The healed connections are reactivating rapidly.” Amun said with excitement as they stood and watched connections forming in her brain as they spoke.
Reven looked at the screen and couldn’t stop the hope from flaring in his heart at what he saw. Until he saw that there were large spots of complete darkness, where nothing was lighting up.
He tried to tamp down the fear as he pointed to the spots and asked Amun, “What are these?”
Amun sighed. “Those are the places that are far too damaged to ever be recovered.”
Reven’s heart sank at the news, and he grieved for the parts of her that were lost and never to be saved. There had been nothing about her that he didn’t want back, and he was terrified to find out what he’d lost of her. But, he had to know.
“What is lost to us?” Reven choked out.
Amun sighed and shook his head. “It’s not like that Reven. It’s not an easy question, and we won’t know for weeks or even months the extent. Look here though, watch how amazing this is.” Amun said as he pointed out one of the dark spots and a thin blue light that was arcing around the dark spot in a dramatic fashion.
“What you just saw is the brain’s adaptation abilities at their finest. Her beast and her brain are reforming the connections around the dead zones. In fact, it’s her beast who seems to be driving most of the reconnecting. Reven, that’s a good thing. There is no one else who remembers her life and who she was, better than her beast.”
Amun had Reven’s complete attention now, and he continued, hoping to relieve some of the man’s fear and pain for his mate.
“The new connections in these different areas, will eventually give her back the ability to walk and speak. The brain is complicated and what she went through was something beyond what we are meant to survive. However, she’s here, Reven. And she’s fighting like hell to come back to you.” Amun said, firmly believing that at some point Jax will be fully functioning again. At least physically.
Reven stood so angrily he knocked the chair over and startled everyone but Melina and Bayla, before turning a heated glare on Amun and Ivint.
“You don’t fucking get it do you? She may come back, with our child, but the connection we had… is gone. The bonding strands, are gone. Can you give us that back? Will that fix itself? Can you tell me that when she awakens she will still be my mate?” Reven demanded angrily.
When both men just looked at him in shock and horror, Reven continued. “I feel none of the energy or bonds between us! All that remains are my bonds with my child. And the love I can’t stop feeling for Jax even without those fucking bonds!”
“Can you tell me that she will awaken and feel anything for me without those bonds? Can you tell me that I will not spend the rest of my life in love with a woman who will never want me without those bonds?” Reven asked angrily as he paced the room.
The silence that followed told him every one of his fears was rooted in reality.
Chapter Twenty
Grai hit the portal room just as Lara raised her hand towards the guards who’d been told to stop her from leaving. If they could.
“Stop!” Grai shouted as Lara and Viper turned towards him.
Lara stepped forward. “Grai, there is nothing to tell you right now. I will not know more about what happened until I go to the location of the attack. Which you are preventing me from doing.”
Grai was beginning to lose his patience with the woman and her mysteries. “No! I’m tired of the lies and half-truths! Jax and her torn family deserve better than this! I want some fucking answers!”
Lara sighed, knowing he was right but unable to give him the answers he was seeking without going to the site of the ambush and verifying that she was correct in her assumptions. She tried to explain that to the angry and frustrated leader.
“Grai… I understand how you feel. How everyone feels. What happened to Jax should never have happened to one of our own, and I swear to you, I will find who did this. I can’t do that without going to the site. We can talk about this when I return, but if I don’t leave now, traces of energy that I need, in order to find the person responsible will be gone, and we’ll lose this chance to identify them.”
Grai did
n’t hesitate in his response. “Then I will go with you and show you exactly where everyone was, and you can explain what you know and suspect while we’re there.”
Lara knew that there was no way that she would be able to shake the tenacious leader. His people were threatened and Jax almost lost her life; she could well understand his eagerness to find the culprit and bring them to justice. Lara relented and nodded her head.
Grai didn’t give her a chance to change her mind. “Come, a transport would be quicker.” He said before he headed out of the portal room towards the docking bay.
By the time they arrived, a craft had been readied and waiting for them. Grai looked at the pilot and ordered him to leave. Looking at Viper, he said, “You can copilot?”
Viper answered by sliding into the seat and beginning the standard pre-flight checks as Grai sat in the pilot’s seat and initiated clearance from the docking bay controllers.
Grai eased the small craft out of the docking bay and cloaked the craft before it left the bay to ensure the people in Dillon didn’t panic over the unusual craft in their airspace.
Once they were in flight and headed back to the abandoned ranch, Grai turned to Lara, who was seated behind him and Viper.
“Explain this to me.” Grai demanded.
Lara sighed. “Grai, at this moment I am unsure of anything. I can’t give you an answer until we get there. And even then, it is dependent, on whether or not I can detect any residual energy. How about we hold off on this conversation until we arrive?” Lara asked, hoping to delay what she knew was going to be a major blow-out with the protective leader.
“Then I shouldn’t have long to wait. We’re here.” Grai said as he lowered the craft behind the barn.
He and Viper quickly went through landing procedures and secured the craft before meeting Lara at the door. Grai looked at Lara with narrowed eyes, his hand on the button that would open the door.
“You will give me answers before we head back.” Grai said, making it clear that he was not going to give her any slack. He would have the answers he sought.
Lara nodded her head and waited for the door to slide open after Grai slapped the button to open it. His frustration and irritation came through his energy quite clearly, and Lara had no doubt that if she was correct, hell was going to break loose in Dillon.
Exiting the craft, Lara held out her hands and released energy strands into the surrounding area and immediately turned towards the barn. Moving quickly, she rounded the corner and was overwhelmed with the residual energy still pulsing strongly.
She felt Viper’s arms hold her steady as she swayed slightly for a moment before she righted herself. Leaning back, she smiled at her mate and stepped away from him, towards the spot that had been covered in Jax’s blood before the area was sanitized of their presence.
Lara kneeled on the ground where Jax had lain and placed her hands flat on the earth. More confident of what she was dealing with, she allowed the energy to seep into her body. When she’d gathered as much as she could, she replayed the event in her mind until she had no doubts what and who they were dealing with.
She stayed there for long minutes, trying to absorb the implications of what they now faced. Without a capable laustio, she was almost powerless to stop him. Lara had hoped that she would have found one by now, other than the child, but she hadn’t. That was the first thing that needed to be rectified before she even considered tracking and hunting the beast who tried to kill Jax. The one who would be out to kill them all.
“What the hell are we dealing with?” Grai demanded, interrupting Lara’s thoughts.
Lara glanced at Grai before accepting the hand Viper held out to her to help her stand back up. “There is not enough energy to know for sure.” Lara lied easily.
Grai exploded in anger. “Don’t fucking lie to me! You forget that you were the one who helped my beast to evolve! Even I can feel the energy of the bastard who tried to kill Jax! Now tell me what the fuck is going on and who the hell is targeting our people!”
Lara sighed heavily. She had hoped that she would be able to avoid this, had never intended for things to go this far. Sadly, the danger they were in was all too real and there were no more second chances for any of them with the enemy at their door.
Lara looked at Grai and said, “Catch him.”
Viper easily caught Grai in his arms as he fell to the ground. Looking at his mate with a half-smile he asked, “Are you sure this was necessary? He’s going to be pissed, and I can’t blame him.”
Viper lifted the heavy man over his shoulder, carried him back into the transport craft and buckled him into a seat. Damn, he thought; this was not going to be good.
Turning to Lara, he held his hand out for hers and helped her onto the ship. “Explain to me, my love, why you just knocked out the leader of our people on planet? Because I got to tell you baby, being put in the middle of your beautiful and powerful self,” Viper said with a sweet nuzzle against her neck before continuing. “And his mean, bad-ass self, is not a real fun place to be.”
Lara smiled brightly at Viper and caressed his face. “My love, I merely did what was required to protect him. He will be fine. Grai will wake in the ship, in the docking bay, and we will be long gone.”
Viper headed into the pilot’s chair, unwilling to waste a second of time. He loved and trusted his mate, but there was still a healthy fear that Grai would awaken too early while they were in-flight. There were no circumstances that would make that a good scenario. For any of them.
Lara reached across and grabbed his free hand, giving him a gentle smile. “It’s all right; he won’t awaken for a while. I spoke with Dread and Drago; they are packing our gear and will meet us at the portal room.”
Viper nodded his head and Lara looked back at Grai, ensuring he was still out. This was not how she had wanted this to go. She had hoped and prayed that this time would be different, that the past would not be repeated. She should have known better.
Balance be damned; Lara thought angrily as she thought of Jax and the young hunter that has become the hunted. There was no balance in this. No fairness. However, it wasn’t her place to judge what was fair.
Viper’s question pulled Lara out of her thoughts. “Are we doing the right thing not telling him?” Viper asked, worried over the route they were taking.
Lara looked straight ahead out of the view screen as she considered Viper’s question. Unfortunately, there was no clear answer. However, she wouldn’t lie to her mate.
“I can honestly say that we do not have the time to explain it to him. He is not inclined to give his trust easily, and until I know the extent of what we face, there is no point in trying.” Lara said sadly. There was never going to be a good time to tell Grai about this. Ever.
*****
Amun stood in the back of the room, running more scans on Jax’s brain. Absorbed in his task, it took him a moment to realize that Reven was speaking to him again.
“I’m so sorry Reven. What did you ask?” Amun asked, putting his scanner aside.
He was surprised to see that at some point Ivint must have convinced Sacara to go to bed, and the children were sleeping on either side of Jax again. Disc and Decano were nodding off in two chairs by the door, and Amun shook his head when he had to step gingerly over the sleeping tiger to get closer to the bed.
“I asked if she was any better. Any closer to waking?” Reven repeated, his exhaustion showing in his eyes.
Amun smiled at Reven and laid a hand on his shoulder. “She’s getting better every hour, Reven. I’ve taken her completely off of life support; she is maintaining her life systems solely on her own now. She’s fighting like hell. Just give it time.” Amun said as he glanced at a worried Ivint, who had not left his friend’s side.
Ivint cleared his throat and looked at Reven. “My friend, her injuries were severe; it will take even her fighting spirit some time to recover.”
Reven wished they would shut up and just answer his damn qu
estions without the commentaries. He knew they were trying to make him feel better, but it wasn’t working. Empty words meant nothing when he still couldn’t find the bonding strands or connect with his mate as he had before.
They were both mated; they knew what it was like to have that bond, that closeness with their mate, and he prayed they never knew what it was like to have that ripped from them. Reven knew they couldn’t understand how he felt or how the emptiness in him that she had filled with her energy had grown larger with her absence.
He felt numb and cold inside, like the only good part of his soul had been ripped from him. The sorrow and pain were near crippling, and he fought to bury it. To remain strong for whatever part of her returned to him. For the children of their hearts and the one created from their love.
