by Vicky Owen
‘So what’s this gig next week?’ Jake says to Harry.
‘We’ve got a gig?’ I say without looking up, tapping in a quick message.
What are you up to tonight?
‘Yeah,’ says Harry, taking a sip of something bright pink as I hit send. ‘At the Student’s Union. Gethin sorted it.’
I snort. ‘You say that as if he’s not always the one who sorts it.’
‘Only because he’s a control freak,’ Harry retorts.
None of us argue with that. As I try some of the practically fluorescent pink drink that Jake hands me, my phone vibrates in my hand.
Carving pumpkins for Halloween of course! You? x
That actually sounds sort of fun.
Just some stupid masquerade thing, I reply.
‘What are you smiling at?’
I look up to find Jake and Harry both watching me, their faces partially hidden by the masks.
‘Nothing.’ I shove my phone back into my pocket.
Harry narrows his eyes at me. ‘Hayley?’
‘What? No. God no. Give me some fucking credit.’ I take another large gulp of the radioactive drink. It’s OK, actually. Bit too sweet. ‘So when is it? The gig, I mean.’
‘Thursday.’
‘This Thursday?’ says Jake.
‘Uh, yes,’ Harry says slowly.
Jake puts down his drink. ‘But that’s Bonfire Night!’
Harry looks at me, then back at Jake. ‘And?’ he says, putting his drink to his lips.
‘We’ll miss the fireworks,’ Jake says quietly, turning his head away.
Harry nearly chokes on his drink with laughter. ‘The fireworks?! For fuck’s sake mate, it’ll probably rain anyway!’
I press my lips together to stop myself from laughing with Harry, looking down so Jake can’t see my expression.
‘Maybe I was planning on seeing Cerys.’ Even with the mask covering half his face, Jake looks defiant.
Harry finishes his drink. ‘Yeah, but were you really?’
‘Well it doesn’t matter now, does it?’ Jake picks his drink back up and turns away from us.
‘Just fucking bring her to the gig.’
Jake turns back around and looks at Harry. ‘For you to act like a twat again?’
While they squabble, I get my phone back out.
Got a gig on Thursday (Nov 5). The SU. Bring your friends.
A group of women squeeze past us as I hit send. One of them recognises Harry.
Must be the crazy hair.
The camera phones come out and a lot of excited squealing and laughter commences as he does his thing.
I slip away and head for a secluded corner at the far side of the room before they can catch me, too. By the time I get there I already have a response.
The Main Hall? Is this the first ‘thing’? x
Probably, and yes. I respond.
What should I wear? x
I frown at that one. I haven’t seen her look anything other than hot yet. I’m not sure she could look bad even if she tried.
Whatever you want.
I hit send, then quickly type out another message to follow.
Just be you x
After sending, I realise I’m doing the stupid kiss at the end now, too.
OK :) Sam and Mylo are coming x
Ah, the two I haven’t met. I realise I should have been more specific.
Make sure you bring Cerys too.
I don’t even know if Sam is a girl or a guy.
I’ll try x
Oh Lexi.
There is no try, Alexis ;) I send back.
‘Why are you over here?’ Jake is standing in front of me. ‘Leaving me with Big Mouth.’
I turn off my phone and lean back against the wall. ‘Harry? You’re the singer.’
He scowls. Then adds: ‘These masks are starting to grow on me. It’s great being out and not being recognised.’
‘We should get one for Gethin,’ I say, nodding. ‘Harry’s the only one who’s good with the fans.’
We both look over in the direction we came from. He’s practically being mobbed by a fucking legion of women.
‘Yeah, Leah would like that. Oh,’ he says, turning back to me, ‘the band that are opening for us next summer, Miseducation? Harry says they’re opening for us on Thursday, too.’
I finish my drink. ‘Didn’t him and Gethin used to be in a band with the two brothers from Mised?’
‘Yeah. Travers and…something. Can’t remember the other one’s name. Think that’s where Gethin met Harry.’
A high-pitched cheer goes up on the other side of the room. One of the girls has stolen Harry’s mask.
‘So,’ I say slowly after the whooping calms enough for Jake to hear me, ‘you were their second choice singer?’
‘Fuck up!’
I snigger. It’s too easy to wind him up.
‘I’m going to find the toilets,’ he says, then adds sternly: ‘Don’t move.’
My phone buzzes again as he disappears around the corner. Across the room, Harry’s still signing things for his new fan club.
Lexi’s latest message is visible on the lock screen.
Ha. Ha. I didn’t sign up to play matchmaker. Will we need tickets btw? x
Sarcasm.
Yeah you did. I type. Don’t you remember the reason you gave me your number in the first place? And don’t worry about the tickets, I’ll send some over.
On the other side of the room, Harry seems to have retrieved his mask.
She’ll be there x Lexi replies.
As Harry starts making his way over, I send one last message.
Miseducation will be opening for us. They’re on tour with us next summer. Get there early and you’ll see them, too.
Well she may as well become familiar with them. If getting Hayley to leave me alone takes longer than expected, Lexi may end up coming on tour with us.
WE’VE BARELY FINISHED one song before Jake decides to fuck with the setlist.
‘This next one is for someone important to me,’ he says to the audience.
He must have seen Cerys.
Not surprising. Lexi was the first person I spotted when we walked on stage a few minutes ago. Her silhouette, at least. Cerys is probably right next to her, and he’s got the advantage of standing right at the front.
But even here, at the back, I can tell that Lexi hasn’t taken her eyes off me since she saw me.
Not that I haven’t been looking back.
Jake turns to tell me what he wants us to play.
I click us in and we start the song.
Gethin’s probably not happy about this, I think to myself. Gethin usually has the final say on what we play and when. All part of his artistic vision.
Jake starts singing, and I realise that he wrote this song for her. I’d always assumed it was for his ex-girlfriend.
And, not even halfway through the first verse, he fucking stops. Harry stops. Gethin stops. I pause my drumming.
‘Wait. Cerys!’ Jake suddenly jumps off the stage, forcing his way through the crowd as a short blonde disappears out the door.
What the fuck?
Lexi, after watching Cerys vanish, turns back to look at me, confusion and apology written all over her face.
Gethin pulls his guitar strap over his head and puts it down on the stand before taking the mic.
His words are apologetic. For the audience.
His tone is pissed. For Jake.
Harry slowly removes his bass guitar and puts it down, turning back from the crowd and walking over to me.
‘What the fuck was that?’ he says quietly, head tilted down slightly.
I shrug. Cerys being here might be partly my doing, but I don’t control Jake’s reaction.
Gethin walks back to us. ‘Fucking Jake,’ he mutters. The audience are growing louder behind him. Obviously trying to decipher what just happened. ‘C’mon, I’ll see if I can sort something out with the promoter,’ Gethin says, headi
ng backstage.
Harry follows and I stand up, still twirling a drumstick in my left hand.
Lexi is leaving. With the crowd.
Shit.
She has to stay. It’s still early days, but she needs to start playing the part now, if not sooner.
Although Jake has scuppered any real chance of us being seen together tonight.
It won’t really matter if she just leaves.
No. She’s staying, I decide. I’m calling the shots here.
Lexi’s getting closer and closer to the exit.
I could jump down or call out to her, but that would draw too much attention.
And make me look needy as fuck.
Instead, I reach for my phone and quickly send her a message.
Stay. You need to come backstage.
‘Luc?’ Harry calls back from around the corner.
She doesn’t need to come backstage. I should just let her go. It’s not like anything is going to happen.
I hang around just long enough to see Lexi pull out her phone. She can figure out the rest.
At least she can meet the band. They may as well find out now.
‘What are you doing?’ Harry says, walking back towards me.
‘Nothing.’ I toss my sticks onto the seat. He starts back off the stage and I follow, turning to see Lexi still talking to two people just outside the exit.
TWELVE
Lexi
‘IS IT OVER already?’
We bump into Dan, the guy Mylo’s been sorta dating, on our way out. The swell of the crowd propels us towards the exit as my phone vibrates in my pocket.
‘Yeah. Cerys left and her so-called boyfriend ran out after her. No singer, no songs,’ Sam says.
Dan looks at us, puzzled.
‘I’ll explain later,’ Mylo says, slipping his hand into Dan’s.
I pull out my phone to find a message from Luc.
More of a command than a message, really.
Stay. You need to come backstage.
I didn’t even realise the SU had a backstage.
‘Uh, guys,’ I say, hanging back and frantically searching for a plausible excuse to not leave. I haven’t told them about selling myself for money yet because I know exactly how it sounds.
Like I’m selling myself for money.
Besides, Sam’s already so pissed off with Jake that I’m actually a bit scared of what she’ll say.
They’re looking at me.
‘What’s wrong?’ says Sam, looking genuinely concerned. And now I feel really bad for not telling them already. She’s going to be furious when she finds out. She knows me too well.
I turn back. Most of the crowd are ahead of us now, having passed us when I stopped walking.
The bar’s still open, though.
‘I’m going to grab a drink before I leave. I’m really thirsty.’ It’s a pathetic excuse, but I haven’t got a clue what else to say.
‘We can wait,’ Sam replies, smiling.
‘No, no, really. It’s OK. And I’m going in a different direction to you all anyway.’ I’m speaking too fast. Sam narrows her eyes at me. Oh no. She knows.
‘But Mylo lives with you,’ she says slowly.
Crap.
‘We’re going back to mine tonight,’ says Dan.
Dan, you freaking legend.
‘Yeah, he lives in your direction too,’ Mylo says to Sam. ‘We can head over together.’
I want to kiss them both.
Sam looks at me for a moment. She’s not buying my story at all. ‘Well,’ she says, after a moment’s hesitation, ‘OK. But text me when you’re home, Lex. So we know you got back safe. Try to catch up to Cerys.’
Guilt prods at me for not leaving to find Cerys immediately, but I nod anyway. Besides, she might be with Jake.
They leave, Dan producing an umbrella. The guy is a genius. Mylo did good.
After they’re safely outside and out of sight, I turn and head back into the Main Hall. There are still some stragglers, and as far as I can tell, the only way to get backstage is via the actual stage.
A roadie appears and heads for Gethin’s guitar.
‘Um, excuse me!’ I hurry over before he gets to it. ‘How do I get backstage?’
He looks down at me from the stage. Torn jeans and a torn t-shirt to match. ‘Who are you?’
‘I, uh…’ Crap. Do I say I’m Luc’s girlfriend? Does he know? My mouth hangs open while I weigh up my options.
Thinking on my feet definitely isn’t a skill of mine.
Or lying on my feet, at least.
‘She’s with me,’ comes a sexy, smooth voice from the right, behind the roadie.
Luc.
His dark grey t-shirt fitting perfectly over his perfectly formed upper body as he approaches. He nods at the roadie, who raises an eyebrow and retrieves the guitar he came for.
Luc walks to the edge of the stage. To where I am.
‘Hey babe,’ he says, reaching an arm down to me, a thick vein running down the length of his bicep, another two in his forearm. I take his hand, but scrunch my nose at the pet name.
His touch is electric. Warm. His grip self-assured.
‘No?’ he says, pulling me up. ‘Honey?’
‘Hmm, no, that’s not right either.’
He laughs. ‘OK. So what then?’
I shrug. ‘Don’t know. Feel free to keep trying, though.’
He smiles at me. We’re standing almost chest to chest, and his face is even more beautiful this close.
He smells so good. I half-consider leaning forward, just a little, just to see if he’ll kiss me.
For almost a moment, he seems to be thinking the same thing. I’m sure he’s leaning just a fraction towards me, and I brace myself for our lips to touch. His perfect, full, soft lips…
My eyelids flutter, almost closing, then his gaze slips behind me. I stop just in time—thankfully avoiding making a complete fool of myself—and follow it, turning my head to see the seven or so people still in the Main Hall. Watching us. Staring at us, even. Silently. One girl leans over to her friend, whispering something, not taking her eyes off us. Another raises her phone. Realising she’s about to take a photo, I whip my head back to face Luc.
His smile is gone.
‘Creepy fucks,’ he whispers, still watching them. He looks at me again, his face softening slightly. ‘C’mon,’ he says, lowering his voice.
He takes my hand in his, slipping his fingers smoothly through mine, squeezing gently, leading us backstage. It shouldn’t feel so natural, so right. It should feel awkward and uncomfortable. Instead, it feels like he’s some hot new guy who can’t get enough of me. Who wants me badly. It’s tempting to let myself fall under the spell and let my heart think it’s real.
But I mustn’t. Hot new guy? Yes, although not as new as before. Can’t get enough of me? Wants me badly? Not likely. If that were true, I’d be the girl he’s really dating, not the one he’s paying just to get free of his ex.
As we get closer to the stage exit, fast footsteps approach from behind. Luc pulls me closer to him as we turn around. It almost feels protective, and my stupid stomach actually flips. Damn it.
Coming towards us is Jake. Dripping wet. His t-shirt soaked through, dark hair dripping onto his shoulders, his face, the floor. He leaves a trail of rainwater in his wake.
And his face…it’s like a cross between thunder and despair. I almost want to hug him.
Hell knows what happened out there with Cerys, but she’s not with him now. Really need to text her. I shouldn’t be here. I should have gone straight home to make sure she’s OK, but she won’t want to be around anyone if they’ve argued. Cerys doesn’t really share like that.
Jake storms past us, droplets flying everywhere.
Luc takes a deep breath and gives me a knowing look, and we follow.
‘What the fuck was that, man?!’ a voice shouts as we join Jake backstage.
Gethin. Last time I saw him he was all smiles and hugs
and laughter with Cerys.
‘Don’t,’ Jake growls, his sodden clothes and hair forming a puddle around his feet that threatens to spread to me as we stand near him.
Gethin walks across the room towards us, and Luc gently tugs my hand, pulling me away as Gethin gets far too close to Jake for comfort.
‘“Don’t”? Are you fucking kidding me?’ Gethin’s voice is dangerously quiet. Far too controlled for his body language.
Luc walks us away from the confrontation, to the other side of the room where Harry’s lying across two chairs, tossing a tennis ball against the wall and catching it repeatedly. He’s not even slightly phased by what’s happening just a few feet away.
‘Just…fucking no. No. Not now.’ Jake speaks through gritted teeth.
Harry notices us and swings his legs off one of the chairs. He smiles at me, offering me a seat. I look at Luc and he nods, standing behind it.
As I sit, Harry leans forward. He looks up at Gethin and Jake, resting his forearms on his knees and rolling the ball between his hands. Luc gently settles a hand on my shoulder, using the other to free the length of my hair caught between me and the back of the chair.
Miseducation—or who I assume are Miseducation, at least—are on the other side of the room, mid-pack-up. Like most of the other people back here—roadies, SU staff—they’ve stopped what they’re doing to watch Jake and Gethin. Waiting to see what happens.
I’m so glad I’m not a part of this mess.
‘You ever fucking do something like that again—’
‘Oh for fuck’s sake, Geth!’ Jake interrupts, gesticulating with his arms. ‘I’m sure you can sort it out. You always do.’
‘I shouldn’t have to sort out anything!’ Gethin booms. He takes a long breath. ‘Decide what it is you fucking want,’ he says, his voice closer to normal, ‘because this isn’t sustainable.’ He sizes Jake up for a second or two longer, then steps back. He walks away, shaking his head, before exiting into another room and slamming the door behind him.
Jake runs his fingers through his soaked hair, wipes his face and pulls his shirt off. ‘For fuck’s sake,’ he mutters, walking out, scrunching the wet t-shirt into a ball.
Some quiet chatter starts back up after he’s gone. Miseducation resume packing up.
Luc squeezes my shoulder softly. ‘You all right?’ he asks, drawing up next to me. I nod.
