by Gow, Kailin
Jack seems to still be confused too. “How can we be human, Jonas? Are you sure you haven’t just done the analysis wrong?”
“When have I ever gotten something like this wrong? Besides, I double checked. Everything about that rock says that it came from within this solar system. Now, I’m not going to say that there might not be civilizations on other planets in the solar system that we don’t know about. It’s possible that they could exist, and that they’re somehow shielding their existence from us. Compared to some of the stuff we’re having to deal with today, that’s maybe not so farfetched.”
“But you don’t think it is that, do you?” I ask.
Jonas shakes his head. “No, I don’t. I think that the Underground would have picked up more signs than we have if a civilization like that existed. And then there’s the fact that you and Jack seem to exist within normal human ranges. You aren’t conditioned to the kind of situations you would find closer to or further from the Sun. I think the idea that you’re some kind of super-evolved human just fits better than that.”
“But it brings us back to the question of how could that happen,” Sebastian points out. “Unless you’re suggesting…” He looks at Jonas for a while. “You are, aren’t you?”
Jonas shrugs. “It fits.”
“What are you talking about?” I demand. The last thing I want is two scientists going off into some kind of discussion that only they can understand, treating the whole thing like it’s just some abstract problem for their amusement. It isn’t. This is my life.
Jonas explains. “Barring sudden mutations, evolution takes a long time. Thousands, even millions of years. Now, we know you didn’t advance to the point you’re at on another planet, and there isn’t much evidence for people like you in our planet’s past, so that development has to have happened somewhere else, right?”
“I guess so,” I say. “But where else is there? Where can that kind of change have been happening?”
“Nowhere,” Jonas says.
“Nowhere?” Now, he isn’t making sense.
“What I mean is that it can’t have been happening, because the only place it could have happened, Earth, we would have known about it.”
“So we’re back to the start,” I say.
“No. What if… what if instead of this having been happening, it hasn’t happened yet?”
Jonas pauses to let those words sink in. I’m glad he does. There are some words that need a lot of work to accept. “You’re talking about time travel,” I say. “But that’s impossible.”
“Actually, there is nothing in physics that specifically forbids it,” Sebastian puts in. “It’s just that people have always assumed that the difficulties involved would make it impossible to achieve practically, while we have had to ask, if it is possible, where are all the people from the future?”
“And now we know,” Jonas says.
I don’t know if this feels better or worse than being told that I might be some kind of alien. I do know that I’m glad Jack has his arms around me at that moment.
“So let’s be clear,” I say, wanting to be certain about this. Wanting to leave absolutely no room for doubt. “You’re saying that…”
“I’m saying that you are from the future, Celestra. As was Jack’s mother. Very far in the future, because that’s the only kind of timescale that makes any sense here.”
TWENTY-ONE
What Jonas is saying seems incredible, but it makes a kind of sense, too. After all, how else can I explain what I am? What I can do? I stand there for several seconds, trying to let the idea that I might be from the future sink in. It raises as many questions as answers.
“If I’m from the future, and Jack’s mother is, does that mean that we’re connected? That we were somehow meant to find one another here?”
I look round at Jack, and I know he thinks it’s true. It makes sense, doesn’t it, that two people so rare, so different from anyone else, should find one another like this?
“We were meant to find each other here, Celes,” he agrees. “I can feel it. Like we’ve lived a lifetime together, knowing each other, loving each other. Time can’t separate us.”
“That’s very nice,” Sebastian says, “but I think we should wait for a little more in the way of evidence before we start leaping to that kind of conclusion, don’t you?”
Beside him, Jonas shakes his head. “Honestly, Sebastian, you have no poetry in your soul. Though I would like to think a little more about the mechanics involved. Think about it. We have proof here that time travel is not only theoretically possible but also practically achievable. So why shouldn’t we be able to achieve it?”
“Because we don’t have another few thousand years of technological and biological development?” Sebastian says.
“But we have a head start just in knowing that it’s possible,” Jonas argues, which sets the two off on a discussion of concepts that I can’t even pretend to keep up with. After a minute or two of it, Jonas starts scribbling down mathematical symbols as he tries to make a point, and I turn my attention to Jack.
“We should get out of here,” I say, and then remember what I’m meant to be doing there. “Maybe go outside together. Just you and me.”
“Why?” Jack asks, his smile turning into a grin that’s a long way from his usual boyish smile. It’s a grin that promises a lot, all of it good. And sadly, it’s not somewhere we can go right now, because there are more important things to deal with. Life and death things, if we don’t get them right.
“Grayson is waiting for us out there.” I keep my voice low. I trust Sebastian and Jonas more than the rest of them, but Grayson is right, we need to get Jack on our side before we tell anyone else. I don’t have to worry too much about being overheard though, because Jonas and Sebastian are still busy debating the possibilities of time travel.
“Grayson?” Jack’s smile has disappeared, to be replaced by a serious expression. He clearly knows that something is wrong. “What’s going on, Celes?”
“I’m not sure I can say much here. Please, just come outside.”
Jack looks at me for several seconds. “You aren’t about to break up with me, are you?”
“What?” He thinks this is some kind of beginning to a break up speech? Okay, so I probably wouldn’t want to do something like that in front of his father and uncle, but how can he think that?
“I know you were with Grayson before, but…”
“Didn’t you hear me before when I said we were meant to be together?” I ask Jack. “I love you. This isn’t about me breaking up with you, or anything like that.”
“Then what?”
Will Jack go outside if I just ask him to trust me? I guess that he probably will. He knows me well enough that I’ll have a good reason for it, but I owe him an explanation, don’t I? And I’m pretty sure that, with just the four of us in the room, this is probably the most secure spot in the farmhouse. It’s certainly the only spot where it’s unlikely any of Lionel’s Faders will overhear. I keep my voice low, barely above a whisper, just in case as I start to tell him.
“It’s the other Faders,” I tell Jack. “They’re worried about me. They’ve seen what I can do, and now some of them think that I’m too dangerous to be left alone.”
“Lionel,” Jack guesses.
“You knew?” Would Jack know something like this and not tell me?
Jack shakes his head. “I didn’t know for sure, but I saw what happened in the Fortress, remember. And at the start of this, he did express concerns.”
“What kind of concerns?” I don’t ask outright if he ever discussed maybe killing someone like me, but it seems that I don’t have to.
“He was worried that if we found someone like you…” Jack hesitates, “like us, then we might not be able to contain the energy, and people might get hurt. He was worried that someone with this kind of ability might not have full control over it.” Jack takes a breath. “It’s a legitimate concern.”
I kno
w that better than anyone. I know what it feels like when the energy rises up in me. There’s something wild about it. Uncontrollable. I know exactly how close I have come to burning people who weren’t a threat, and exactly how hard I had to fight to push the energy back down again.
“I know all that, Jack, but it looks like Lionel has gone beyond expressing ‘concerns’. He… he sent a Fader out to watch me and Grayson just now, and when Grayson tried to explain what was going on, the Fader tried to kill us.”
“Who?” Jack asks.
“Does it make a difference?”
Jack shrugs. “It might tell me whether they were actually likely to have been obeying Lionel’s instructions, or whether they were acting alone.”
“Jack,” I whisper, “it was Phillipa, from Location Two, and she actually told us that Lionel had ordered it.”
Jack pales, but then, I guess it can’t be easy for him to hear that a man he has looked up to, like Lionel, can order something like that.
“Did she hurt you?”
I shake my head. “She tried to kill Grayson first. I stopped her. I…”
Jack pulls me close, hugging me to him and stopping the next words. “Don’t say anything about your abilities,” he says. “I think Grayson might be right on this one. People can’t know about it. I don’t think it will be as bad as he thinks, but we can’t take the chance.” He thinks for a minute. “How is Grayson? Do we need to take out a medical kit?”
“He’s fine,” I say. “He was pretty badly hurt, but…” I can’t not tell Jack this. “It was like he just kind of pulled himself back together. He repaired a couple of broken bones like it was nothing.”
I give away Grayson’s secret, just like that. I look down, not sure if I’ve done the right thing. How much trouble could this cause for Grayson, particularly given that Jack doesn’t like him that much?
“Don’t worry,” Jack murmurs. “We’ll help him too. We’ll help him figure out what’s going on with him. You said he was waiting outside, right?”
I nod, and pull on Jack’s arm. “You have to come with me. He’ll be waiting for us. We don’t have any time to waste.”
“It’s okay, Celes,” Jack says. “I’m coming.”
We walk together through the farmhouse, and I try to make it look like we’re going out for a romantic stroll, or something. Well, I guess that any Faders watching will guess “or something.” After all, we spent more than a month living together. Still, if it means that they don’t guess what we’re really doing out there, I don’t mind too much.
The moon is up when we get outside, throwing a pale light over the farmyard. This far from a town, it’s a lot darker than I’m used to. I’m used to street lights, and curtains left open, neon signs and passing traffic. Out here, it’s dark enough that I can’t make out Grayson waiting for us. I can’t see where Lionel’s Faders are either. Has Grayson managed to deal with them for long enough that we can talk?
“Where is he, Celes?” Jack asks.
“I’m not sure,” I reply, moving out into the center of the farmyard. Jack moves with me, looking around warily.
“I don’t like this,” he says. “Are you sure this is where you arranged to meet Grayson?”
“Yes, I’m sure. He was going to draw off Lionel’s Faders, and then meet me back out here with you when…”
“Celes, look out!”
Jack moves towards me, reaching for his gun and trying to push me flat, obviously sensing something out in the dark with that uncanny knack he has for picking out danger. The trouble is, out here, so far from the farmhouse, so far from any kind of cover, there’s not much even knowing that something is coming can do.
There’s a soft puff of air somewhere out in the darkness, and something is sticking out of Jack’s neck. It takes me a second to realize that it’s a dart, like a zookeeper might use on some kind of big animal. I look around frantically, trying to work out where the shot came from and there’s a second soft shot. Something stings my neck. I don’t have to look down to know what it is.
“Jack,” I start to say, but the word comes out wrong. I look around at Jack, and even that small movement makes my vision blur. Jack is there, but he’s on his knees now, trying to point his gun out into the dark. Then I realize that I’m on my knees too. How did I end up like that?
Someone moves up to Jack, taking his gun from him almost gently. They slip a bag over his head as he starts to topple sideways to the floor, then another figure takes his feet and they lift him. I try to focus on them, but whatever is in my system is too potent for me to manage it. I start to collapse.
Strong hands catch me, holding me up. Part of me wants to thank whoever is doing it, but then I remember that I should probably be angry with them. I should probably be burning them. Except that I can’t remember how to do it. I’m too tired. Too tired. Quickly, efficiently, someone slips a bag over my head too. I feel myself being lifted from the ground.
And then I’m too tired to do anything but sleep, so I drift into blissful unconsciousness.
EPILOGUE
I’m running. The sun is shining and I’m running. Not running from anything. Just running for the joy of it, through a meadow strewn with wild flowers, my strides eating up the ground. I’m running the way I have always wanted to run. Effortlessly, perfectly.
The place I’m running through is perfect too. There is a hedge along one side, from which birds dart occasionally, while to the other I can see fields stretching away. I run across the one I’m in without a care.
Then something changes, and I’m running faster. Not running for its own sake anymore. Running because I have to. Running because there is someone following me. I don’t look back to see who, because I know, just know, that if I do I’ll trip and fall, meaning that he’ll catch up to me. I can’t let him catch up to me.
“Celes!” he calls out. “Don’t do this! Please don’t do this. You may never make it back here if you go.”
“I have to,” I shout back. “Can’t you see I have to? If I don’t, then he will never come back either. I have to try.”
I stop so suddenly that the person chasing me crashes into me, sending us both tumbling to the ground. I turn to look at him, but his face isn’t clear. It’s foggy, hard to see. It’s like the sun is directly behind him. He looks down at me, and somehow I know that his expression is pleading, even though I can’t see his expression.
“You love him that much?” he asks. I can hear the disappointment, the despair, in his words. I know he has hoped for more, but I can’t give it to him. I can’t.
“I’m sorry,” I say. “I need to find him again. If I don’t, he and I will cease to exist. We’ll simply fade away. And…” I pause, wondering how much to say. “It’s too dangerous for me here now. There are too many risks.”
He gets up off me, turning away. “You know this could change the course of history? How much damage you could potentially do?”
“I know,” I say. “Are you going to stop me?”
“I should. No one who has ever used the machine has come back. But I won’t. I don’t even know if I can.”
I try to smile. “Promise me you won’t worry too much?”
“Of course I’ll worry,” he says. “I took a bullet for you. I love you. How can I not worry? I will continue to love you. I will continue to protect you. Nothing can happen to you. Are you sure you have to do this?”
I nod. “I’m sure.”
Celes, Jack, and Grayson’s stories continues in
Forgotten (FADE #3)
Releases
March 2012
EXCERPT FROM
DESIRE
By Kailin Gow
*****************************
Prologue
E
Arcadia, Earth – Year 3010
Perfection. That was how best to described the day. Blue skies with the hint of lilac and buttercream, fat fluffy white clouds gliding by, added to the beautiful day. It was the perfect way to end a s
unny school day. With my hand nestled warmly in Liam’s, I walked at his side, my face tilted up to the sun, my nostrils breathing in the fresh air that smelled like Spring lavenders and fresh linen. The fragrant air made me think of Spring formals, garden parties, and outdoor barbeques. The day could not be more enjoyable if it’d been planned that way. If I had not grown up anywhere else besides the state of Arcadia, I would have thought this was the way it always should be everywhere. I have lived in Arcadia for all my life, and have never known the skies to shine blue and clear otherwise. The only times Arcadia had ever experience dark skies and foul weather was rare indeed. This was just another typical day for a citizen of Arcadia. Perfect like the shiny spotless signpost on the corner of the street ahead was: Main Street, Arcadia.
School had gone well as usual, tests and exams had been passed with flying colors and the birds chip and chirp, whistling a merry tune. Like every day in Arcadia.
As we approached Nellie’s Diner, I caught a glimpse of myself in a store window and was pleased with my appearance. My long blonde hair cascaded down my back, freshly brushed and tidy. The lustrous locks with a hint of lavender in them fluttered in the breeze in a way that always made Liam smile, and it all added a bounce to my step. I hardly fuss about my appearance, except to look presentable.
That morning I’d chosen to wear my pale green smock dress, the one that he always complimented me on.
“That dress sure does make those hazel eyes of yours pop,” he’d always say.
I blushed. Always told I was a pretty girl, I never really believed it until Liam and I began dating in high school. At his side I felt beautiful. Was it his striking features that enhanced my sense of beauty or was it simply the look of adoration I saw in his eyes every time he looked at me that made me feel so beautiful? My mother, a single parent, once told me the most important thing about a man was the way he made you feel. Although there were other suitors besides Liam, he was the one who most made me feel good about myself.
