“I have to buy my own car? Em didn’t buy her Jeep.”
Preston is sixteen, but he won’t get his license until he goes back to school after this summer. And to be honest, I can’t wait. I’m so tired of having to drive him around all the time. “Em saved money for her Jeep and paid us what she had for it.” I don’t tell him that we took the money and placed it in a savings account she’ll use once she leaves for college. It’s something Mason and I plan to do for Preston as well.
“How much was that?”
“A few thousand,” I answer.
He scoffs. “It’ll take forever to save that much.”
I shake my head. “It will not. Save your money. You have to work for what you want, Preston. Nobody will just hand you stuff for free.”
Mason and I are very determined to raise responsible children. Yes, we could buy their cars for them, but we don’t want to. We choose to make them work and earn their things, so they see how hard they’ll have to work in their lives to get the things they want. Of course, we’ll still help them out when needed, but I refuse to hand them things for free their whole lives.
“I know, I know.”
We pull up to the house, and he throws open the door. “Thanks, Mom. Love you.” He jumps out, and I watch as he runs across the lawn and into the house without knocking. That’s how close we all are. There’s no need to knock. All the kids are always welcome at any of our houses.
Putting the car back into drive, I head toward the city. Earlier Preston kept my mind off what I’m about to do, but now that he’s gone I have nothing else to think about. I just keep thinking about what could be found today. It could be a harmless cyst, or it could be much worse. Just the thought of having to tell Mason I have cancer has me nauseous.
Almost an hour later, I pull into the parking lot. When I shut off the car, I look myself over in the mirror. My green eyes are wide, filled with fear and nerves. I wipe the stray tear that escaped and reach for my purse in the backseat.
Stepping out of the car, I pull my purse strap higher on my shoulder and straighten my shirt. I know I’m fidgeting, but I can’t stop. I can’t control what’s going on around me, so I have to fix the things I can.
I sign in and take a seat in the waiting room. Absentmindedly, I pick at my red nail polish as I sit. By the time my name is called, my nails are chipped and look a mess.
I stand and follow back the nurse.
“How are you doing today, Mrs. Reynolds?”
I take a deep breath. “I’m a little nervous,” I say as she leads me down the long hallway.
She nods as she turns to look at me. “I completely understand, but I want to assure you that the tests we’re doing doesn’t hurt at all.”
“Okay,” I say with a shuttering breath.
She stops by an open room and motions for me to walk in ahead of her.
I sit on the edge of the bed as she closes the door behind us and sits down at a computer. “Did the doctor explain what it is we’ll be doing today?”
I shake my head. “No, I was just told to come in for imaging.”
“Okay, I’ll go over all that with you now.” She spins in her chair to face me. “Your doctor found a lump in your breast. So, what we’re going to do is do a simple ultrasound, just like you had done when you were pregnant.”
“So, no mammogram?”
“No. An ultrasound is the best way to see if the mass is solid like a tumor or if it’s fluid-filled like a cyst.” She stands and digs out a blue, paper vest for me to put on. “All you’ll need to do is remove your top and bra, then put this on with the opening in the front.”
I take the paper vest and stand to remove my clothing. Once she steps out, I do as I’m told before lying back on the table.
A few seconds later, there’s a knock on the door.
“Come in,” I call out.
The same nurse comes back in with one other person with her. One of them dims the lights while the other walks up to the machine at my side. I watch as she takes the bottle of jelly and applies it to the end of the ultrasound wand.
“Okay, now I’m going to ask you to raise your arm above your head.” I follow her instructions, and she slips the wand into the opening in my vest. My eyes stay glued to the screen as she moves it around.
The picture is gray with little white lines going through it. She pauses when she comes to a big, white spot on the screen. She stops, clicks around on the computer, then takes measurements and images of the spot.
“Is that it?” I ask.
Her eyes quickly flash down to me and back. “I’m only taking pictures of anything that could be considered abnormal. Your doctor will have to tell you what he sees. That’s not my expertise.”
I nod and decide to stop watching the screen to keep myself from jumping to conclusions.
It doesn’t take long before everything is being wrapped up and I’m allowed to dress again.
“Your doctor’s office should have these later today. Once he has a chance to look over them, they’ll give you a call with the results,” she promises.
“Thank you.” After they leave, I get dressed. Then I pick up my purse and head for the door, not feeling any better than I did before the test.
I head back home and try keeping myself busy by doing laundry and cleaning. But all that does is keep my hands busy while my mind wanders. Finally, I decide to try and get some work done. I have several images of foundation packaging to look through to find the one that fits our brand best. As I sit down at the computer, my phone rings.
“Hello?” I answer.
“Mrs. Reynolds?”
“Yes.” My heart is pounding away in my chest. It feels like it’s ready to explode.
“This is Becky with Dr. Matthews’ office. The doctor would like you to come in to get your results.”
“Okay. When should I come in?”
“Will today work? I have an opening at 2:00 P.M.”
I let out a breath, relieved I get to come in today instead of waiting another second longer. “That would be perfect. Thank you.”
“Thank you, Mrs. Reynolds.”
I hang up the phone and push away from the computer, too anxious to do anything but think about what those results are.
Gathering my things, I head to the car. I have more than enough time, but I need to stay busy for my sanity. I pull up to the doctor’s office with thirty minutes to spare. Hoping they can get me in early, I go ahead and go inside. I sign in and sit and wait, picking at my nails once again. My leg is bouncing uncontrollably when they call my name.
I follow the nurse behind the door, but she doesn’t take me to an exam room. Instead, she leads me back to the doctor’s office.
“Good afternoon, Lennox. How are you doing?”
The door shuts behind me as I take a seat across from him. “I feel like I’m going crazy.”
“I’m sorry this has been weighing on your mind. That’s why I had the nurses let me know the second your images came in.” He clicks something on his computer and turns the monitor around to show me the screen.
“These are the images that were sent over to me today. You see this here?” he asks, pointing to the light gray part of the picture. “This is your normal breast tissue.” His eyes lock on mine. “Now, do you see this spot here?” He points to that big, white spot I saw on the screen earlier.
I nod, swallowing down my fear.
“This is a tumor.”
My hands immediately fly up to cover my mouth as I suck in a long breath.
He holds up his hand, palm facing me. “We don’t know that it’s a cancerous tumor. It could be benign.”
I start to breathe again even though I didn’t realize I’d stopped. “So, what does this mean?”
He laces his fingers together, resting his hands on his desk as he looks at me. “We’ll need to bring you in to do a biopsy to see if the tumor is benign or malignant.”
I nod. “Okay, and how is that done?”
“Well, we’ll get you scheduled here today. Then on operation day, you’ll go in for an outpatient procedure. We’ll bring you back, put you to sleep, and make a small incision to remove a small piece of the mass. Maybe all of it, depending on its size. We’ll close you back up, and have the sample tested. If it is benign, we’re done. You’ll just have to keep getting your normal checkups. If it’s malignant, we’ll need to discuss your options. But that’s not something I want you worrying about just yet. Understand?”
I hear his words, but I’m unable to process them. Still, I nod.
“Good.” He stands. “Miranda will get you set up to come to the hospital for the testing.” He opens the door for me.
I nod. “Thank you, doctor,” I mumble as I walk out.
I make my way to the front desk. The girl behind it looks at my file as it gets handed to her, and she picks up the phone. I don’t even bother listening as she talks. All I can think about is telling Mason.
“Mrs.?”
I snap out of my thought. “Yes?”
She hands me a card. “Here’s the appointment card for your biopsy.”
I take the card and look at the date on it: one week away. I tuck it into my back pocket. “Thank you,” I say before walking out.
I’m in a daze as I walk out to my car. Tears sting my eyes, but they aren’t falling. When I climb behind the wheel, I take a tissue from the glovebox and pat my eyes dry. When I can see clearly again, I start on my way, thinking the whole time about how I’m going to break the news to Mason.
I didn’t want to tell him until I knew for sure. But now that there’ll be a procedure, he has to know. I only pray he can keep a level head about him. I don’t want him worrying about me. He has enough on his plate.
Chapter Ten
Mason
I spend the day with Dane, looking over the new property. I’m beyond excited about starting this project, but he’s a little apprehensive. When we get back to town, we both go back to his office in the grill.
“What are you thinking?” I ask him, wanting to bounce our ideas and thoughts off one another.
“I don’t know, Mason. I mean, it sounds like a great idea in theory. But it also feels like something we should’ve done ten years ago. My life is just getting ready to settle back down, you know? Jax is going to be going off to college. It’s going to be just Alissa and I for the first time in forever. I was looking forward to having some free time. Maybe even starting a band up.”
I nod. “I get that. Have you talked to Alissa about it?”
He pulls out his bottle of Jack from his bottom drawer. “I did, and she told me to do what I thought was best. I just… I’m not sure it’s the right time for me. I mean, I understand why you want to do it, you have two kids. But me, I only have Jax. I remember being young and being forced into this place. I don’t want to do that to him… but with two to run.”
“Okay, no hard feelings, man. I’ll just open up the shop.”
He looks a little guilty as he takes a sip and passes me the bottle. “I’m sorry if I let you down, Mase.”
I take sip and hand back the bottle. “Not at all, Dane. It was just an idea. If you don’t want to do it, you don’t want to do it.” I stand. “I think I’m going to close up the shop and head home for the day,” I say, moving toward the door. “See you tomorrow?”
“Yeah, see you tomorrow.” I close the door behind me, heading for the shop.
Just as I thought, the place is fine and ready to close down. They don’t even need my help. The fact that the team I have hired on can do this without me, makes me feel even better about opening the new shop. That means I’ll have plenty of time to get it up on its feet.
I pull into the drive and instantly notice Em’s Jeep is missing. She’s probably out with that Tony guy, and it makes me worry. She’s been spending a lot of time with this guy lately, and I still haven’t met him. I guess I need to talk to her again tonight to make sure she understands my need to meet him.
When I walk into the house, the place is quiet. “Len?” I yell as I walk in.
“I’m in the dining room,” she hollers back.
I grab a beer from the fridge and walk into the dining room to find her sitting at the table with a glass of wine. Worry and stress are etched on her face.
“Hey, where are the kids?” I walk further into the room and sit at her side.
“Em’s at the beach, and I dropped Preston off at Levi’s earlier before my doctor’s appointment.”
I cock my head to the side in confusion. “You had another doctor’s appointment?”
She takes a deep breath and nods. “I haven’t been completely honest with you.” Her eyes begin to tear.
I reach out and place my hand on hers. “About what?”
She looks down at our clasped hands and then back to my eyes. “The other day, at my exam, the doctor found a lump in my breast.” She takes a shuttering breath. “I went for an ultrasound today, and it confirmed the mass was a tumor.”
The world stops spinning for me when I hear those words. My heart pounds in my ears, and the room begins to tilt. “What?”
“It may not be cancerous, but I have to go for a biopsy to know for sure.” Her tears finally overfill her eyes and run down her cheeks. “I’m sorry I kept it from you. I just didn’t want you to worry until I knew something for sure. I was hoping after the ultrasound today, I’d know something concrete.”
I stand and pull her up, hugging her to me. “It’s okay,” I say before pressing a kiss to her forehead.
I wrap my arms tightly around her, thinking — no, praying she’s safe and out of harm’s way in my arms. “We’ll get through this. You’re going to be fine. Do you hear me?”
She nods with her head against my chest.
“It’s going to be okay,” I say, praying as hard as I fucking can that it’s the truth. I swallow down the sob threatening to take over my body.
She pulls away slightly. “I don’t want to tell the kids — not yet anyway. I want to get the biopsy results back, so we know for sure what’ll happen. Okay?”
I nod in agreement. I don’t blame her for not wanting to worry them. Placing my hands on either side of her face, I lean in for a kiss. Her lips press softly against mine before my tongue darts out to taste her. Her scent, her taste, they’re something I’ve grown so used to. I know I couldn’t live without it. She’s a part of me now. Living without her would be like trying to survive without breathing.
Lennox goes to take a shower while I start dinner. Preston is staying with Levi, and Tony is taking Em to the grill, so it’s just Lennox and me. With all the stress she’s been dealing with on her own, I want to make her favorite. I boil the noodles and start the sauce for alfredo.
It’s hard to keep my mind trained on anything other than the danger Lennox could be in. Why does this always happen to us? The minute I think we’re going to get our happy ending, something comes to rip it away. Back when we first got together, it was taken by Lennox following her dream. When we managed to find one another again, even against all odds, there was Chris who was the threat. Now, just when we’re finally able to start back up with our lives just the two of us, the threat of cancer? I’m sad. I’m angry. I’m completely fucking confused.
It takes everything I can do to control my anger right now. But I’ll continue to regulate it. I need to be calm for Lennox. If I worry, she’ll worry, and I don’t want that. She needs to believe everything will be fine.
We sit on the couch and eat dinner while having a couple drinks to ease the stress of the day. When we finish, I send her to go lie down while I clean up. By the time the kitchen is clean, and I walk into the bedroom, she’s out completely. This day has completely taken it out of her.
I grab my bottle of Jack and head out on the balcony to try and unwind. I’m nowhere ready for sleep. I’m still too angry. How could this happen to us? Why did this happen to us — to her? She’s the most beautiful, kind, and loving person I’ve ever kno
wn. Why do such bad things happen to good people?
I pace back and forth on the balcony, taking drink after drink. This can’t be happening. How can I live without her? How can the kids live without her? I was so young when my mom passed away from breast cancer, I don’t remember much about her. But I know I don’t want my kids living with that the way I did. They need their mother. I need my wife.
I peek into the bedroom and find Lennox is still asleep. As I look at the empty bottle in my hand, anger surges out of me, and I throw it as hard as I can over the railing. I watch as it cuts through the air like a sharp knife, shattering when it hits the ground.
When I go back into the bedroom, I press a soft kiss to her head, so I don’t disturb her. Then I head down the stairs. I need to get out of here for a little while. I need a drink, something to take the edge off.
Back at the grill, I sit at the bar, taking shots of Jack. Everything is doubling when Dane comes to sit next to me.
“Hey, what’s going on? You don’t ever drink like this.” Concern paints his face. His dark eyes are surrounded by tiny stress lines.
I rub my hand over my face. “It’s Lennox. She may…” The sobs I’ve been holding back finally break free.
Immediately, Dane knows something isn’t right. “Hey, come on.” He stands, pulling me up with him. “Let’s go back in my office and talk.”
He leads me back, setting me down in the chair across from his desk. “Now tell me, what’s going on with Lennox? Is she okay?”
I shake my head while wiping my tearstained face. “She might have cancer.”
“Might?”
“She has a tumor in her breast. She has to go for a biopsy to see if it’s cancerous or not.”
He takes a deep breath and leans back in his chair, pushing the hair away from his face. “I’m sorry, man. Is there anything I can do?”
“I just… I don’t know what I’d do without her.” My eyes flood again.
“Mase, I’m sure she’ll be fine. It sounds like it was caught with enough time to take care of the problem. You need to focus on getting her better, not about the what if’s.”
One More Chance at Forever (The Chance Series Book 5) Page 7
