The problem was she needed the right opportunity. She didn’t want to just show up at his door like some stalker, which admittedly, she kind of was. No, she needed something that would prove that she was really here, and invested for the long run. Unfortunately, she hadn’t been able to come up with anything plausible yet. So, she’d have to be patient a little longer. She really loathed patience right now. But she may only get one chance to get Cole back, and she didn’t want to waste it.
Finally, after so much time spent waiting, the perfect opportunity to talk to Cole presented itself. News had spread about a party the soccer and lacrosse teams were throwing Saturday night in the commons outside their dorms. Bri received confirmation from Stephanie, who was their resident social butterfly, that the basketball team would be attending, and her mind began racing with the possibilities.
Since it was the first official party of the year, new outfits were definitely in order. So Friday, after practice, Bri, Addison, Stacie, and Stephanie all piled into Bri’s Jeep and headed to the mall. Bri was pretty sure her dad wouldn’t be too upset with her for buying clothes with her credit card. Clothes were incidentals, after all.
After a Layla-esc shopping marathon, Bri bought two outfits, unable to decide which would be best. She wanted to look perfect for Cole, but couldn’t decide if she should go dressy and sophisticated, or cute and casual. Too much was riding on this to mess it up. Unable to come to decision, Bri realized she needed an outside opinion, and there was only one person she trusted with something this important. Laying out both outfits, she snapped a picture and sent it off with a quick text to Layla.
Help, I need you! Going to my first Duke party tomorrow night. Cole will be there, and this will be the first time he’s seen me in months. I want to make an impression without looking like I’m trying too hard. I’m in desperate need of your expert fashion advice!
A few minutes later, Bri’s phone rang. She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw it was Layla.
“Hi, Lay! Thanks for calling me back. I’m seriously going crazy here, and can’t decide what to wear. What do you think, which outfit would be best?”
“Both outfits are great, Bri. But,” Bri could hear the hesitancy in Layla’s voice. “If you want to make an impression, then make an impression! You need to make him remember what you two had together, and what he’s been missing. My advice, don’t hold back. Throw everything you’ve got at him. You may only get one shot, use everything to your advantage.”
Bri pondered that for a moment, and suddenly had her answer.
“Thanks, Layla. I don’t know what I’d do without you! You’re a freaking genius!”
“Yes, yes I am! Now, you’d better call me on Sunday to let me know how it all goes, or you can kiss my life saving advice goodbye!”
“You got it! Love you, Lay.”
“Love you, too. Good luck, Tiger!”
Bri hung up her phone and rushed to her dresser, praying she’d brought it... There! At the bottom of the pile was the shirt she was looking for. She pulled out the royal blue top she’d worn on her first date with Cole last summer. This would make an impression. Even if he didn’t remember she’d worn it on their first date, her dress that night in the back of the Maserati had been the same deep blue. There was no way Cole had forgotten that. And nights like those were exactly what she wanted him to remember.
Saturday night, Bri paired her halter style tank with a pair of khaki shorts that showed off her legs to their fullest. She left her shoulders bare, fully heeding Layla’s advice and using everything she had to her advantage. That included showing off as much skin as possible to tantalize Cole. She wasn’t above using his hormones against him. She loosely curled her hair, and then twisted the sides back and pinned them, exposing her tattoo and her neck. She went minimal with her makeup, and put on the Tiffany’s butterfly necklace Cole had given her. She slipped on her jeweled Greek sandals and met the rest of her roommates in the living room.
The other girls chatted excitedly as they walked down to the party, but Bri was too nervous to join in. She’d been dreaming of this moment for so long, now that it was finally here, her stomach was revolting against her. So much was riding on tonight, and she couldn’t stop thinking about everything that could go wrong. Her stomach was churning so much, she was afraid she was going to throw up. Bri spent the rest of the walk trying to calm herself down, and get a handle on her nerves. She needed to pull herself together or she was going to blow her chance with Cole.
When they arrived, the common area was pulsing with music. One of the guys had set up his speakers outside and was playing DJ. Various couches, chairs, recliners, lawn chairs, and camping chairs had been brought out of the surrounding dorm rooms and set up around the perimeter. It was a pretty dark night, but someone had strung some twinkle lights and lanterns from the trees, providing some soft illumination. There was even a bar set up on two folding tables over in the corner.
Feeling anxious, Bri discreetly separated herself from her friends and went off in search of Cole. Disappointment bubbled up inside her, as she futilely scanned the sea of faces around her. She’d made almost a full circle of the perimeter before she finally found him.
Cole was leaning against a tree, talking to a slinky brunette. Bri felt her anger and jealousy spike as the girl leaned into him flirtatiously. Her throat constricted, and for a second she was worried that she may be too late, that Cole had moved on. But a glance up at his face revealed that he was less than interested in the oblivious girl. Immense relief flooded through her.
Bri stayed where she was and waited. After a few minutes, the girl finally got the hint and left, and Cole was alone. She made herself stay where she was, waiting breathlessly with a jack hammering heart, for him to notice her.
Just as she thought she was going to pass out from lack of oxygen, Cole turned his head, and completely froze as he finally saw her. His face drained of all color, as shock and disbelief engulfed him. He glanced warily into the cup in his hand, as if what was inside was responsible for Bri’s sudden appearance. Bri couldn’t help but chuckle, and his eyes shot back to her, confusion plain on his face.
She walked slowly towards him, worried she’d frighten him off if she moved too fast. The closer she got, the more nervous she became. She had had this grand, romantic speech all planned out, but the sight of him standing before her wiped all coherent thought from her brain.
Damn, he looked good. He was wearing a light blue button down with the sleeves rolled up, and even in the low light, it brought out the blue in his eyes. His hair was styled in that messy, sexy way she loved, and she longed to reach out and run her hand through it. She took a deep breath, trying to calm her pounding heart, and stopped in front of him.
“Hi, Cole,” she managed to say shakily.
This close, Bri realized her memory hadn’t done him justice. Her eyes greedily drank him in, eager for every last detail.
“Ambria?” His confused and guarded eyes took her in, head to toe, and he swallowed thickly. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m here for you.” She tried to smile reassuringly, but her stomach was such a twisted mass of nerves, it came out lopsided. “I have something I need to tell you. I was hoping that we could go somewhere and talk? Somewhere a little more private?”
He looked away. “I don’t know, Bri.”
“Please, Cole,” she pleaded. “Please, just give me a chance. Let me say what I need to say, and then I’ll leave, if that’s what you want.”
He took a deep breath, and turned back to her. His demeanor had hardened, like he’d already prepared himself for the worst.
“Fine,” he replied curtly. “You talk, I’ll listen, and then you leave.”
Bri’s face fell as she nodded. She hadn’t expected a big, warm welcome from Cole, but she was still hurt by his animosity.
He turned and led her towards his two story dorm building, silent the entire way. That silence became more pronounced and weighted as th
ey left the noise of the party far behind. Trying to calm her racing heart, and get her emotions under control, Bri followed Cole upstairs and into his room. The room layout was similar to Bri’s, but seemed bigger with only two people living there. He flipped on the lights and sat down on the couch, completely indifferent and unaffected.
“Okay, so talk,” he bit out coldly. “Why are you here, Bri?”
Bri stopped her perusal of Cole’s room and turned to him. He returned her gaze warily, and she was suddenly painfully aware of how close she was to losing everything. She took a deep breath and gathered her courage.
“I live here,” she gave a small smile.
“What?” Cole’s eyes widened in shock. This news didn’t seem to please him.
“I go to school here. I applied earlier this year and was accepted. I’m even on the dance team.”
“I don’t understand,” he shook his head, glaring at her.
“I came here for you, Cole. I’m here because I believe in us, and I think we deserve another chance. I’m here to fight for us.” She poured all her sincerity and conviction into those words, willing him to believe her.
“So, this is what?” his voice rose incredulously. “Some grand master plan for you to infiltrate my life? And when exactly did you decide on this course of action?”
“Right before graduation,” she replied quietly, her eyes dropping.
“So you actually planned this?” his voice shook with anger. “And you didn’t think to ever mention it to me?”
“And when would I have been able to do that, Cole?” Bri’s temper flared. Crap, this was going badly. Here she was, making a mess of things, again. She took a breath and reigned in her temper. She wasn’t angry at Cole, and she hadn’t come here to yell at him. “We haven’t talked in months. And even if I had told you what I was planning, what would you have said? You would’ve told me to forget it, that it wouldn’t change anything. You would’ve told me you’d moved on,” her voice broke, “and that I should too.” She paused and looked Cole in the eye, gathering all her courage. “But that’s not something I’m willing to do. Not now, not anymore. No matter how difficult, or overwhelming things get for us, I’m not going anywhere. Never again. I’m done running.”
Cole dropped his gaze and shook his head.
“Go back to Stanford, Bri,” he said tersely. “It’s where you belong. You have dreams and plans for your life. I don’t fit into any of them. This isn’t what you want.”
She sat hesitantly on the couch next to him.
“That’s where you’re wrong,” she said softly. Cole’s eyes shot up to hers, full of pain, confusion, and fear. Bri’s heart clenched, and she hated herself for hurting him so badly. But, she also realized that if she ever expected Cole to forgive her, she had to forgive herself. Looking deep into his eyes, she promised him, and herself, that she would amend all the pain she had caused him.
“When I think of the future, all I see is you. All my plans, all my dreams, they all revolve around you. You are the center of everything. You are essential to my happiness, and I can’t imagine a future without you.” Tears threatened in her eyes, and she paused. “You were right about me, you know. You were right about everything. I was so afraid of letting you in, so scared of being hurt, that I convinced myself I didn’t really feel what I was actually feeling. I’m so sorry, Cole! I’m sorry I pushed you away. I’m sorry I was so stupid, and stubborn. And most of all, I’m so sorry for ever hurting you! I don’t expect you to forgive me right now, and just let everything that happened go. All I’m asking for is another chance. A chance to make this up to you, to make things right between us. Please. Please, Cole, tell me there’s a chance for us,” she pleaded with everything she had in her.
Cole stood and walked away, running his hands through his hair. When he turned back to her, the defensive mask he’d been wearing was gone, and she could see his anguish.
“Why, Bri? Why would this time be any different?”
She stood and walked over to him. She half expected him to back away from her, but her heart sang when he didn’t pull away. She reached up and gently cupped his cheeks in her hands. His eyes closed briefly at her touch. When they opened, she could see everything he was feeling. There was so much turmoil and wariness, but also a desperate hope that stole her breath.
“Because, this time I know exactly what I want.” Bri had to squeeze her eyes shut to stop the tears that wanted to spill. She couldn’t cry now, there was still so much she needed to say. Swallowing the lump in her throat, she opened her eyes. Cole’s eyes bore into hers, begging her to put him out of his misery. She could see now how badly she’d let him down before, how afraid he was to trust her again. And how terrified he was of what she was about to say.
“I love you, Cole,” she smiled, and a tear slipped out. “I love you, and I’m not afraid to say it anymore. I’m not afraid of it anymore. I love you so fully and completely,” she half sobbed. “I love you more than I ever thought I could possibly love anybody. And you are all that I want.”
Cole’s eyes closed, and he let out a sigh. But he still protested.
“What about Stanford, Bri? It’s been your dream, your life, for so long. I don’t want you to wake up one day and blame me, hate me, for making you give up that up.”
“I haven’t given up my dream, Cole,” she persisted. “My dreams have just changed, that’s all. You have given me a new dream, and a hope for the future that I’ve never had before. You are my dream now. Please don’t tell me I’ve already lost it.” Another tear slipped out.
Instead of replying, Cole dropped his eyes, and removed her hands from his face. Bri’s heart plummeted, and her lungs stopped working. Despair threatened to consume her, as she realized that she’d failed. Cole didn’t want her back.
He stood there silently for a moment, before he finally spoke.
“Say it again,” he whispered, still not looking up at her.
“What?” she gulped, trying to keep her devastation at bay.
“Say it, again,” he repeated, lifting his head. Bri’s breath caught as a beautiful smile spread across Cole’s face. The love shining in his eyes broke the dam holding back her tears. She knew then exactly what he was asking.
“I love you,” she returned his smile. “I love you, Coleston Marra. I’ll love you forever.”
Cole’s arms wrapped around her, pulling her into his chest.
“I’m so sorry,” she sobbed on his shoulder. “For everything. I’m a such an idiot. Can you ever forgive me?”
He pulled back and stroked her cheek. She leaned into his hand longingly.
“Of course I forgive you,” he gave a small smile. “I love you, Ambria. I’d forgive you anything.”
“Really? You still love me?” Bri felt a warmth rush through her.
“Oh, baby,” he replied tenderly, “did you really think I stopped? I think I fell in love with you the first day I met you. I’m sorry it took me so long to say it. I was scared, and stupid, and stubborn, too. Can you forgive me?”
“There’s nothing to forgive,” she gazed up at him. “So, what happens now?”
Cole’s eyes darkened with desire. He gave her a look that set her heart pounding, and anticipation shooting through her. He leaned in slowly, but stopped just short of her lips.
“Whatever we want,” he whispered. And then he kissed her.
Warmth flooded through Bri, and the gaping hole in her heart, that had been present ever since she’d walked away from Cole, was finally filled. This was where she belonged, where she would always belong, in Cole’s arms, surrounded by his love. There were no more doubts, no more fears, just the blinding certainty that she was home. And she had no intention of ever leaving again. She was finally whole.
She kissed him back hungrily, giving him everything that was in her. She happily took everything he offered her in return, and greedily demanded more. She wanted all of him, every tiny piece, mind, body, and soul. She knew that he wouldn’t be
satisfied until he had all of her, either, and she wanted to give it to him. She wanted him to have every last piece of her.
While their kisses were heated and passionate, this was something so much deeper than physical need and desire. This was an aligning of their souls, a binding together of their hearts. A chance to erase and heal all of the hurt and betrayal, the disappointment and regret. With each kiss, they renewed each other with their love.
Bri pulled back and smiled lovingly up at Cole. In his eyes, she saw the promise of their future together. She saw a love so pure and so deep, it shook her, humbled her. While at the same time, it built her up, making her stronger. Braver. Better.
It was the same love that shone from her own eyes.
Looking at Cole, Bri knew things wouldn’t always be easy. They would face problems and difficulties that neither of them could foresee right now. But she knew that as long as they had each other, their love could conquer anything.
Bri promised that silently to herself, and to Cole. And then, not having had nearly enough, she kissed him again.
The End
Acknowledgements
First and foremost, a HUGE Thank You to my wonderful husband, Joe. Thank you for not laughing at me when I said I wanted to write. Thank you for being the first, and most excited, person to read my book. Thank you for not hating it, even though it’s “one of those girlie books”. Thank you for supporting me, and encouraging me, and believing in me from the get go. You are my love, my life, and my sexy hotness, and I’m so lucky to have you. I love you most (and yes, this proves it!)!
Next, a big shout out to my little monkeys! Thanks for always wanting to help mom with typing on her laptop or getting her a Vanilla Coke. And for becoming a little more self-sufficient when she was trying to write. Love you!
Thank you to my mom, for always supporting me, no matter what. To Stacie, Mike, and Stephanie for being the best siblings and friends ever! A special thanks to Steph, Bri’s personal stylist (and mine). And a big Thank You to the rest of my family- immediate and extended, my side, Joe’s side, all sides, and every side. There are far too many of you to mention everyone, but thank you all for your love and support, and for helping to shape the person I am today. I love you all!
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