Kate and Hannah moved into Gwen’s room to talk about a paint color that would match the new comforter Hannah had bought for the bed. Maggie and Gwen continued talking.
“Gwen, I was hoping I could ask you something.” Maggie was nervous but felt that she and Gwen were close enough now to talk about it.
“Of course, dear. You know you can ask me anything.”
“Well, I was wondering what you had in the back of your car. There are rumors that float around town you know and …” Her voice drifted off. She was embarrassed to have once been a part of those rumors.
Gwen’s eyes filled with tears and she set her lemonade glass down on the coffee table. She sighed. It took an eternity for her to answer.
“I suppose it would look funny, if not questionable to someone else, but it’s really nothing exciting. I had packed away all of Larry’s things, with your mother’s help, of course, and had them in the back of my car to take to the Salvation Army. I drove there one day to drop them off and just sat in the parking lot and cried. I couldn’t do it. I just couldn’t let go of his things. When I told your mother about it, she said that she would do it for me, but I never let her and she never pushed.”
She chuckled a bit, surprising Maggie. “I can only imagine what people have come up with about me and what’s in those boxes.” She laughed again. “The imagination of some people.”
Maggie looked at Gwen in awe. She knew Gwen’s feelings were hurt, but Gwen didn’t become angry or bitter at how she was treated, or at the poor judgment and misconception toward her from others. She had led such a simple and kind existence and no one was on the receiving end of all that she offered because of their fear of the unknown.
She placed her hand on Gwen’s. “I’ll help you take those things whenever you’re ready. I know as much as anyone how hard it is to let go of the past.”
Maggie looked out the window at Josh, who was lifting railroad ties with Paul and placing them to form a path to the front door. His T-shirt stretched against muscle, causing her tummy to flutter. She still hadn’t found a chance to talk to him, but they’d made plans to have a quiet dinner together the following week. Her heart sped up just thinking about it.
Kate’s and Hannah’s giggles floated down the hallway from Gwen’s room like a fresh breeze.
“Music to my ears, Maggie. All of you have become precious gifts to me. I can’t thank you enough.”
“It’s our pleasure.”
*
On Sunday, Gwen got dressed and kept checking her appearance in the mirror. The “kids”, as she now affectionately called them, had invited her to go to church with them. She wore her best pair of navy blue slacks and a pink sweater. She patted her hair. Maggie had encouraged her to cut her hair into a more stylish bob. She still wasn’t used to the new style but had to admit she liked it quite a bit.
Even though she wasn’t sure she was ready for a public appearance, the idea of attending church again sounded wonderful. She and Larry used to attend years ago, but that had dwindled away. As Gwen evaluated her reflection in the mirror she couldn’t help feeling that her life had dwindled away as well. When had she gone from being a member of a community to someone who was shunned, judged and misunderstood? She shook her head. It didn’t matter.
She heard a knock at the door and Maggie’s muffled voice calling for her.
She sighed and said to her reflection in the mirror, “I guess it’s time.”
*
“What a motley crew we are,” Hannah said, observing Maggie, herself, Josh, and Paul all crowded around Gwen inside the foyer of the church. “We look like Gwen’s bodyguards or something.”
“In a way, I guess we are.” Maggie gave Gwen a gentle squeeze.
“I can’t thank you enough for inviting me,” Gwen said. “I really am excited. I just hope everyone can look past the ‘homeless, ragamuffin’ image of me.” She began to chuckle, the kind that shook her upper body and always reminded Maggie of Mrs. Santa Claus. “I still can’t imagine where all that came from.”
“I can’t imagine how you’ve kept such a good attitude about it all this time,” Hannah said.
“I learned a long time ago, dear, that you can’t control what others think about you. You can only work on your own heart. When I get discouraged, I remind myself what others say about me isn’t important.”
The small group looked at one another, realizing they had probably just learned more from this one woman standing in the doorway of the church than after any sermon they would hear that day.
“Okay,” Gwen said with a deep breath. “Let’s go in and find a seat.”
They filed in with Josh in the lead, Maggie and Gwen behind him, hand-in-hand. They sat in a pew toward the front. Maggie kept looking around for people pointing or whispering in Gwen’s direction. There were none. Just smiles and waves and even a few who came over to shake hands and say “welcome.” Maggie looked at Gwen, who now seemed to be glowing.
“Are you okay?” Maggie whispered to her as the piano and organ began playing “Great Is Thy Faithfulness.”
“I’ve never been better, dear. Thank you so much for bringing me here.”
“You’re welcome. Anytime.”
*
After homemade pizza at Josh’s house, Paul, Josh, and Hannah were watching football on TV. Maggie sat on the sofa next to Gwen, who was beaming and watching the others talk.
“You doin’ okay?” she asked.
“Today has been lovely.” She looked around the room. “It’s so wonderful to just sit here and listen to laughter and hear your sweet voices. Where are Kate and her family? I enjoyed meeting them at dinner.”
“Oh, they took the day to go sightseeing. May I ask you something, Gwen?”
“Of course. Anything.”
“Well, I hope you aren’t angry with me, but I wanted to talk about Larry’s stuff in the back of your car.”
Gwen looked down at her hands folded in her lap. “I’m not mad. Just a little embarrassed, I suppose.”
“Please don’t be embarrassed.” She placed her hand on Gwen’s. “The only reason I’m saying anything is that, well, I have some things that I’ve been holding onto a little bit too long and wondered if maybe we could go together to give them away.”
Gwen looked up, her eyes wide and her expression soft.
“I understand if you’re not ready,” Maggie went on, “but maybe it would be a good first step for both of us.”
Maggie looked at the others in the room. Paul and Josh had just erupted in simultaneous moans and groans over a referee’s call they didn’t like and Hannah was curled up asleep.
“I think you may be right, Maggie.” Gwen said. “I do believe it’s time.”
“I think saying good-bye to those things together might help us, don’t you?”
“Absolutely.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
‡
“Just a minute!” Maggie was working on updating her resume when the doorbell rang.
Opening the door, she was surprised to see Rose standing there by herself.
“Hi, Rose. Is everything okay?”
“Can I come in for a little while, Maggie?”
“Of course. Please come in.”
She led her into the living room.
“Would you like some tea? I have some water all ready on the stove.”
“That sounds lovely, thank you.” Rose settled herself on the sofa.
Returning with two mugs, Maggie handed one to Rose and set hers on the coffee table between them. She sat on the couch across from her, curious about the visit.
“I hope I’m not disturbing you too much,” Rose said.
“No. I was just updating my resume. It’s time for me to start looking for a job.”
“Kate told me about you losing your job. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay. I appreciate your concern.”
Tears formed in Rose’s eyes and found their way down her cheeks.
Mag
gie sat up, leaning in toward Rose.
“What’s wrong? Is something going on with Kate?”
“No. She’s fine.”
Maggie relaxed a little, but was still uneasy. Something was…off. She’d sensed it since the first day she and Rose met at Kate’s shop, Maggie just couldn’t pinpoint what.
“It’s just something I need to tell you first and then talk to Kate about later.” Rose took a deep breath. “Maybe this will explain it better than words can for you.”
Rose reached into her purse. Maggie’s vision turned to slow motion as Rose pulled out a stack of letters. Rose handed them across the coffee table to Maggie.
Resisting the urge to tear into them, Maggie untied the string that held the stack together. Pulling one from an envelope and unfolding it, she felt sick to her stomach. She saw a familiar CM monogram across the top: Caroline Mitchell. Her mother.
She began to read:
January
Dear Scarlett,
I can’t tell you how good it is to hear that you’re doing so well. Maggie had a nice Christmas. Patrick won’t let us have a tree, but I put a small one in her room and we celebrated as much as we could together without him knowing. I know it sounds bad with Patrick, but we really are fine. I try to keep Maggie away from him as much as possible when he’s upset, and she is a happy and content child. You should see her. She has your gorgeous hair I always envied and her daddy’s big, brown eyes. I tell her they are like mine, but someday she will know and understand the truth. Even though her birth father gave her those amazing brown eyes, hopefully I help them shine.
I miss you more than you could ever imagine.
All my love,
Melanie
“Where did you get these?” Maggie’s voice was a whisper. Her heart throbbed in her chest.
“I think the best way for you to understand is to begin at the beginning.”
Rose reached in her purse again and pulled out a journal. The brown leather cover was worn with time, the edges scuffed.
“This was your mother’s when we were at Boston University together. She left it behind when she moved. Told me to keep it. Something to remember our time there together. I’ve saved it all these years. I think it may help explain things to you a little better.
Maggie took the book Rose offered. She ran a hand over the cover. Warmth flooded her. Her mother had held this book, filled its pages with her own handwriting.
“Go ahead. Read some. I put bookmarks in the sections I think you should read first.”
Maggie nodded and began reading.
*
The first time I ever laid eyes on Rose Anderson, I thought for sure we’d never make it as college roommates. I was unpacking my suitcase when she appeared in the doorway and announced, “Well, isn’t this going to be the best year ever?”
I looked up from unpacking to find her standing there, one hand above her head, leaning on the doorframe. Her brown hair was curly and held back by a thick, black bow. Her arm adorned with about a hundred bracelets and a short skirt that poofed out over leggings. A tank top and unlaced boots completed the outfit. Will the world’s obsession with Madonna ever end?
I introduced myself to her and will admit, struggled to not make comparisons. My wavy blonde hair tied back with a red ribbon seemed blah and lifeless. I’m sure my thin-rimmed glasses along with plain Levis, aT-shirt and scuffed-up tennis shoes screamed “Nerd!” to her as much as her look screamed “This is never gonna work!” to me.
Rose dragged an enormous green duffel bag into the room and began to unpack. I learned fast that she’s a chatty thing. Something else to add under the column of “We are from different planets.”
She asked me where I was from as she hung a red feather boa in the closet. A feather boa! Who wears those? Where does one wear one of those?
As soon as I said Minnesota I got the response I get half the time when I tell people where I’m from – Are your parents farmers or something? Ugh. No. Why does everyone assume you are a farmer if you aren’t from California or New York?
She scored a point in the “We may be from different planets but that’s pretty cool” column when she said she’s from Maryland. Her dad is Navy, and she actually lived in one of those homes on base in Annapolis! I visited there once and daydreamed of how amazing it would be to live in one of those. It seemed so glamorous to be the daughter of a high-ranking officer.
But Rose said it wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. She didn’t elaborate and I didn’t ask. We continued to unpack, listening to music she played on a giant boom box. I actually found myself enjoying the tunes as we worked. Maybe rooming with Rose won’t be so bad.
I got to meet her boyfriend too. I wouldn’t ever say this to her but he’s hands down, the most handsome boy I’ve ever seen. He has dark hair and deep brown eyes like melted chocolate. His name is Danny Strauss and I know I blushed when he introduced himself and shook my hand. Ugh. Horrifying.
He’s a Marine. And obviously madly in love with Rose. Well, they kept kissing and hanging on each other. That was a bit embarrassing.
Danny said we should all go get pizza for dinner so we did. At first I wasn’t sure. I didn’t want to be a third wheel. But they insisted and to be honest, I was excited to see Boston.
Boston is amazing!!! There’s so much activity. After grabbing slices of pizza, we walked through Harvard Square. The regal stature of the buildings and the sense of academia – I feel so at home. Rose asked me what I thought. We talked about the bookstores and the buzz of the city. I guess maybe we are different but see the world the same in some ways. That’s a good start.
After we were in pajamas and curled in bed for the night, Rose and I talked about our parents, our lives. I don’t have much to say, really. I’m an only child. I’ve lived most of my life with my face in a book. Rose said her dad is tough. Expects a lot of her. She admits she’s rebellious, so there’s friction between her and her parents. Her eyes teared up when she said they like Danny better than her. Her own parents said they can’t believe someone like her caught a guy like him. How awful. She may be different from me, but I like her. I’m glad she’s my roommate.
Chapter Twenty-Four
‡
Maggie looked at Rose. Tears streamed down her cheeks and onto the stack of letters she held in her hand.
“You were friends with my mother.”
“The very best of friends,” Rose replied. “We were roommates all through college. We were so different from one another, but became as close as sisters. I have yet to meet another person as special as she was. We were only able to write for a little while. When I came across a copy of her obituary I cried for months. My husband wasn’t even able to console me.”
Maggie had so many questions, but she wasn’t sure where to begin.
“I don’t know what to say. What do the letters mean?”
“Well, in the beginning, Caroline was protecting me. In the end, she was protecting you, and herself.”
“You? How was she protecting you?”
“Because I’m your birth mother, Maggie. If anyone had found that out, my life and your mother’s would never have been the same.”
*
Today I found Rose in the cafeteria crying. She can be somewhat emotional at times so I wasn’t worried at first. But then she looked at me. I can always tell when something is really wrong by how dim her eyes get. I thought for sure it had something to do with her parents. But it didn’t. Danny is being stationed overseas. Her worst nightmare.
I’ll admit I thought maybe they wouldn’t make it once school got going. I mean, they don’t see each other much as it is. But I was wrong. I think they’re in it for good.
I tried to comfort her but I wasn’t really sure what to say. I just held her hand across the table and let her cry.
My heart is torn. Literally. Patrick and I are planning our wedding and I couldn’t be happier. He’s so perfect for me. Such a leader who takes control of every situation. S
omeone I can count on – a solid, steady presence in my life.
But my heart aches for Rose. She got news today that Danny was killed in a helicopter crash while serving overseas. She’s devastated. To be honest, neither one of us can stop crying.
Rose told me a secret today. She’s pregnant. Honestly, it’s as if the world is spinning out of control and we have no clue how to make it stop. Rose’s parents are basically disowning her. I want to help her so much. But I just don’t know how.
*
“Maggie, I can’t even imagine how much this must overwhelm you.”
Maggie hugged herself while rocking back and forth. She found the courage to ask the only question that seemed to come to her mind at the moment.
“Why did you give me up?”
Rose sighed. “I didn’t want to. Believe me, I didn’t. If Danny had survived, I knew my parents would eventually get used to the idea of us having a child before we were able to get married, and we were going to get married. But once he was gone, I just couldn’t see myself raising a child alone and I knew my parents wouldn’t support me. Truthfully, I wasn’t sure I could handle the reminder every single day of Danny and all that I’d lost. That’s extremely selfish of me, I know, but I want you to know the truth.”
Maggie stood and began pacing the floor.
“So how did I end up with my mom and… dad?”
“Well, it was your mother’s idea. She knew that with she and Patrick getting married, they could raise you as their own, and I would know that you were with someone I loved and trusted. However, after you were born and Patrick and Caroline adopted you, Patrick’s ugly side began to show. He didn’t like anyone knowing you weren’t his child and said the only way he would continue to keep you was if they moved to California and your mother and I were never to speak again. Patrick was never crazy about me anyway, and I think it was his way of getting me out of Caroline’s life for good.”
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