“I can’t wait to move,” I tell her. It’s the absolute truth. “My family hates me.”
“What about your parents? Won’t you miss them? I’m pretty sure I’m going to have to call mine a couple of times a day, just because they won’t be able to check up on me unexpectedly.”
Her comment makes me think of Alli whose parents are crazy overprotective. Maybe that’s why she gets along with Makayla’s brother. They can relate to each other’s insane parentage. “Mine don’t even know I’m still living in the Cities. Moving won’t change anything.”
She chuckles not quite believing me, but I give her a sincere glance and her expression changes to sympathy.
“I’m okay with not having a close family, honestly.” Just as the words escape my mouth I feel the hair on the back of my neck prickle. It can’t be. I’m afraid to look. Makayla must be able to read the fear on my face because her eyes are wide. Then his lips touch my cheek and his arm wraps around my shoulder. The bottom of my stomach drops as he reaches a hand out to introduce himself to my friend.
“Hi. I’m Wes, Meg’s brother.”
My head begins to shake uncontrollably. “No. No. You can’t be here. You have to leave. Right now. You have to leave.”
“Excuse us for a second,” he says to Makayla. He braces my shoulders in his hands and whispers into my ear, “It will be fine. I’ve got this.” He’s got a plan—I can hear it in the tone of his voice. He always has a plan. I don’t know if it will be good for me or not, though.
I close my eyes trying to gain strength and when I open them, Peterson is glaring at me over Chase’s shoulder. Years ago, I decided never to get into a self-sabotaging situation ever again. But as I open my mouth, I know that is exactly what I am about to do. There is no escaping this without blood if I don’t. I step back away from Chase and plaster a smile to my face. I glance up at Peterson and he looks as if he is ready to punch the blonde standing in my personal space.
“Dylan, this is my brother, Wes. Wes this is my boyfriend, Dylan.”
Peterson’s jaw softens at my label and I know I’ve averted a fight. When Chase turns to shake Dylan’s hand, his eyes bulge out of his head and I have to fight back the laughter in my throat.
“Meg didn’t tell me you were an entire football team,” Chase says extending his hand. He leans into me and adds, “Seriously, you should have told me, Sis.”
I don’t feel sorry for him. He brought this on himself by showing up here. He’s lucky I didn’t tell Peterson who he really is.
“Scott says you and Megan went boarding on Tuesday. Maybe we all could hit the slopes sometime before the runs close for the season. Is Monday good for you?”
I take a breath and my heart rate starts to come back down. I look over to Makayla. She’s smiling and shaking her head as if she doesn’t believe any of it.
“Come on, Wes. Let’s get you a cup, and you can fill in all the holes in what Megan has told me about her family.”
As Chase follows Peterson to the kitchen, Makayla sidles up next to me.
“So who is the hot preppie? He’s not your brother. He was completely undressing your backside as he approached you. Unless that’s why you hate your family? You can tell me. I won’t judge.”
“I may as well just leave now and wait for this whole situation to implode.” I roll my head back with exasperation.
“Are you dating them both?”
“No. Chase is my ex. We dated for three years in high school. I ran into him recently, but I’m not dating him.”
“Well he definitely wants you.”
I swallow hard, not wanting to accept her words.
“You’re not afraid to leave the two of them together?”
“I’m terrified. Chase is a really good liar though.” I position my body so I can see them through the kitchen door. Peterson is laughing and patting Chase on the back as if they are best buddies. “This is going to end what Dylan and I have. I don’t like lying to him.”
“Wasn’t it going to end at the end of basketball season anyway?”
“Yes, but on my terms, not Chase’s. I still wanted to be friends.”
“You seriously believe that’s possible? Friends with exes doesn’t ever work.”
“We’ll maybe I’d throw some benefits in once in a while.”
“That just makes it worse, Megan. Someone always wants more.”
“But it’s usually the woman and that’s not me. I’m fine with casual. It’s easier. Relationships get too complicated when more is expected.” Who was I trying to fool? Peterson already wanted more. That was the whole problem. I tilt my head toward the kitchen. “Let’s go get our cups filled. I can’t let them be together too long. Will you help me? I need to talk to Dylan alone.”
“Sure, I’ll distract him. I don’t care what his name is.” Makayla smiles and follows me into the kitchen.
Of course, Candice has found Chase. She’s sitting on the counter right next to where he’s standing and is practically hanging on him, right in front of Scott.
“Megan, your brother showed up after all. And he’s not dating a stripper,” states Candice in her “you’re so stupid” voice.
“She wasn’t a stripper,” Chase adds. “She danced ballet as one of the Sugar Plum Fairies in the Nutcracker. She was really flexible, but I’m no longer seeing her. Dylan, has Meg ever showed you her dance moves? She took dance for years. Her troupe even won state one year.”
Dylan looks at me as if I’ve been keeping pertinent information from him. “Nope. She never mentioned she was a dancer.” His face scowls and I’m not sure what he is thinking, but he seems mad.
I slip my hand into his and whisper in his ear. “Can I talk to you in private?”
He nods, his jaw tense. He follows me out of the room, and Chase calls, “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, Sis.”
Dylan’s hand balls into a fist as we head up the stairs. He drops my hand, before reaching for the key in his pocket and opening his door. I squeeze through the doorway first and sit against the headboard on his bed, pulling my legs up and wrapping my arms around them. He closes the door and locks it, but doesn’t come any closer to me. He leans against the door with his arms crossed over his chest. He knows.
“So what do you need to tell me in private?”
“Would you come sit on the bed?”
“I don’t know if I want to, Meg.”
“Don’t call me that.”
“Sorry. Only your brother can call you that?”
“He’s not my brother.” I watch his face, looking for relief that I’m telling the truth, but he’s still fuming.
“You don’t think I know that?” He combs his fingers through his dark hair and glares at me. “You bitch and moan every time one of the guys makes a blonde joke at your expense, but you look at me and think I’m some dumb jock or I’ve taken too many concussions on the football field. No guy would ask about his sister’s dance moves and I recognized his voice from the phone call last weekend. I’m not stupid. ”
“I know you’re not stupid. I didn’t invite him here.” I take a deep breath, in through my nose and out through my mouth. I can’t defend this.
“Candice did. But you went snowboarding with him.” He moves to sit down on the bed and it dips, almost tipping me over. “Are you sleeping with him?”
“No. You are the only one I’m sleeping with.”
“How does he know so much about your family? You’ve barely told me you have brothers. I just learned from Candice your family owns a marina on the St. Croix River. You never tell me anything personal and he knows your family intimately.”
“We dated for three years.”
“Well, we’ve dated for over a year and I’ve never met any of your family.”
“We haven’t dated that long.”
“We have. We started the second home game last season. It’s the end of our second season. You’re the math expert, you tell me how long we’ve been dating.”
&n
bsp; “We were off all of last summer.” I try to clarify, but it’s not enough. “I was in high school and living at home when I dated him. We went to prom. I don’t think my parents would have let me go if they hadn’t met him. I have my own place now. You don’t want to meet my family.”
“Or is it that you don’t want them to meet me?”
“That’s not it.” It’s not that I’m embarrassed of him. He and my dad would easily bond over football, but I haven’t told him about my mom and that’s the hard part.
“Is it too big of a commitment for you? I’ve tried to be patient.” His voice softens. “I knew you’d been burned before and I kept waiting for you to let me in. Is it ever going to happen? Because I don’t know how much longer I can wait.”
I lean back and stare at the ceiling. I’m silent. I don’t know the answer to his question. The room is quiet for a long minute.
“Why the hell would you agree to go snowboarding with him? He’s obviously the one who messed you up. Why let him back into your life? Are you ever going to be able to move forward?”
I feel my eyes well up. I don’t cry, but I’ve been feeling sorry for myself lately and this is just the icing on the cake. “I don’t know if I can have a normal relationship,” I admit.
He gets off the bed. “I’m going to kill that little weasel.”
“Please don’t. He’s not worth it.”
He leaves anyway, so I take out my phone and shoot Chase a text.
Me: DYLAN IS COMING TO KILL YOU.
Within minutes of sending the text, I hear shouting escalate from downstairs and I can’t deal with it. I head downstairs. Without looking toward the commotion, I find my jacket in the corner heaped with all the other coats, and slip out the front door. I don’t want to hear their discussion about me and I don’t want to watch Chase get bloodied. I’ll text Makayla later and she’ll tell me anything relevant. I start my car and crank up the music, collecting my thoughts. Why does Chase keep messing with my life? Is he the one I’m supposed to end up with?
I carefully back my car into the alley and head to the rental. I just want to go to bed. I don’t know what is wrong with me. When I reach the house, there is, of course, nowhere to park. I find a spot a block and a half down and trudge my way down the slush-covered sidewalk to the front door. Jeff and Jessica are nowhere to be found. They must have taken it to their room like I suggested.
I lock my bedroom door behind me and unzip my boots before taking off my jacket. What did I do to deserve the life I’ve been dealt? I wish I knew so I could change it. I collapse on my bed, slipping my boots off as I sink into my pillow, exhausted. That’s when the texts pour in.
Makayla: Holy crap. Are you OK? I guess you told Dylan.
Peterson: Where’d you go?
Chase: Thanks for the warning. It could have been ugly. But don’t worry about me. I’m quick, Sis.
Chase: Does he greet all your family members with his fists or did Wes do something to piss him off?
Chase: Why are you keeping the giant from your family?
I wish he would stop texting. I’m not going to answer him. He’s such an ass.
Peterson: Did you leave with him?
I don’t feel like getting into this right now. I silence my phone and go to bed.
Chapter 7
Megan
I FEEL HUNG OVER as if I drank much more than one beer last night. My head is heavy. I’m not sure if it is the burdening thoughts about how to fix what happened last night or if I’m worried about what I might do being free of Peterson. I can’t think about it. I throw on a sweatshirt and a pair of jeans before heading downstairs. I can smell the coffee as I round the corner into the kitchen. Jeff is sitting at the table reading the BBC News app on his phone as Jessica sits next to him peeling back the skin of a grapefruit. They’re like an old married couple. They let me fill my mug and take a few sips of coffee before asking me why I came home early.
“I told you I was coming home.” I try to smile, but I know it’s not very convincing.
“Did you break it off with Peterson?” Jessica asks, looking up from her grapefruit.
“No. Not officially, but we had a fight.” I can’t mention Chase. Jessica would blame me for letting him back in my life. She wouldn’t understand why I would allow it. Hell, I don’t understand it myself.
“Don’t do it, Megan. Don’t let Chase mess up the good in your life.”
I nod as I take another sip of coffee. I know she’s right, but I’m not going to let her know just how involved Chase was in causing the problem last night. The truth is that I don’t see myself being with Peterson five years from now. I can’t change how I feel about him. We never had the spark Chase and I had. I’m so screwed.
“Are you going to the game tomorrow?” asks Jessica, probably trying to gauge how big of a fight we had.
“I’m not sure. I’ll have to figure that out.” I sit down at the table across from Jeff and slide my phone from the back pocket of my pants. When the screen lights up, I see five more messages. Four are from Chase and one is from Makayla. Peterson didn’t send me anymore. I click on Makayla’s. I’m not going to check Chase’s.
Makayla: Dylan is pissed and drinking his aggression. Hope you know what you’re doing. Let me know if you want an update.
I type out a response to her text from last night just to feel out Peterson’s mood.
Me: What happened after I left?
Makayla: I don’t want to tell you.
Me: That bad? Did he hit someone?
Makayla: Kind of.
Me: Just tell me.
Makayla: After you left, he and Scott got out the beer bong and got stupid.
Me: How stupid?
Makayla: I left the party when Dylan carried the sophomore who had been making out with him up to his room.
Me: Thanks for the info.
I have nothing else to say. I shake my head in disbelief, stuffing my phone back into my pocket. I’m numb. I sit in silence sipping my coffee. I can feel Jessica’s eyes on me, but I can’t even look across the table at her and Jeff. I will never have what they have.
I hate men.
The rest of the weekend crawls by as I finish my paper and get all the data from the marina’s books transferred to the simpler spreadsheet. There are some mistakes in the books, but nothing that screams embezzlement. By Sunday morning, I’ve run out of ways to avoid my roommates. I think about going to the campus fitness center, but I don’t want to run into anyone from the party there either.
Peterson has just sent me a text and it makes me want to punch him in the balls. I realized now the walls I erected to protect me were a lie. I thought our casual relationship kept me from getting hurt. I believed it wouldn’t bother me if we saw other people, but I was wrong. Even though our chemistry wasn’t great, I still cared about him.
Peterson: Are you coming to the game, lucky charm?
Me: Why don’t you bring the sophomore you fucked? Maybe she can be your new lucky charm.
Does he think I wouldn’t find out? I can’t believe he’s acting as if nothing happened. I know he never would have brought that girl to his bed if I had responded to his text, but I refuse to take the blame for his actions. Several minutes pass before his next text comes.
Peterson: We need to talk. I’m coming over.
Screw him. I don’t want to see Dylan. All I can think about is him taking that girl to bed. He acted as if I was the one holding back and then he does that. I know it’s my issue. I tried to tell myself I wasn’t getting attached. Everyone I care about leaves me. It’s just easier not to care.
My issue.
I grab my coat and purse, and head out the door. My car is still a block and a half away because I didn’t leave the house at all yesterday. When I finally reach it, I get in quickly knowing Peterson could be coming around the corner at any moment. I take off as soon as my seatbelt clicks. I don’t know where I am going, but I can’t be at the house when he arrives.
I have to get away from campus. There were too many people at that party and I don’t want to run into any of them. I just drive. When I drive past the marina, I realize where my subconscious mind has taken me. The riverfront park just above the City of Stillwater’s lift bridge is barricaded by a road closed sign. It seems early for the road along the river to be closed. The St. Croix River floods every year, but right now, the water laps well below the levy walls.
I park my car in the public lot and walk past the road barrier to the sidewalk running parallel to the river. I find a bench about half a block down and stare out over the dark water. The water rushes unencumbered by anyone else’s agenda on its path to join the Mississippi. It’s calming and disturbing all at the same time.
I wonder if the river called to my mom like it does to me. Was she drawn to it? Or am I drawn to it because of her? Watching the water churn, I can’t help but think about how different my life would be if she had just stayed. She was always the one I confided in. Sure, I had friends, but I never really relied on them for advice until she was gone. What advice would she give me about Peterson? Would she tell me men are pigs and he’s the best I can hope for? Or, would she tell me to cut what strings I have left with him? What would she tell me to do about Chase? I imagine she would have a lot to say about him.
Since it’s early March and the ice has already cleared most of the river, I am sure my family is working hard to get the docks in at the marina. I’m relieved to no longer be a part of that madness. If I learned anything from my mother, it’s that I will be much happier doing what I want. This time next year, I will be immersed in my studies thousands of miles away from here. I wonder if I will miss the river.
I can’t even think straight today. I didn’t expect Peterson to bring another girl to his bed. I wouldn’t have predicted it and I wouldn’t have predicted it would trouble me so much. I always knew it would end. I just thought it would be me ending our relationship. That must be why I’m so messed up.
The wind picks up and the cool air stings my cheeks. I should probably go. I just don’t know where to go. My phone buzzes and I check it because that is who I am. It’s a text from Alli.
Between Friends (Between the Raindrops #3) Page 6
