“That I can do” I say as the last of my tears fall.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
A Dragons Treasure
I walked away last night with my heart in pieces as I left with Blue. It was painful to do but it was the right thing as our relationship, if you can call it that, was just too toxic for me to deal with. It really didn’t look good that I left with another man, but I couldn’t give a shit what people would think. Blue was the key into a life I never knew, one that could change everything I know about myself.
I had helped Blue to his car which I had assumed he had come in. I was worried about him having a serious concussion, but my worries were unwanted as he told me he was a shifter. At first, I wasn’t sure I should take his word for it as he took a horrible beating, but he was pretty much healed by the time we got to his vehicle. Turns out he doesn’t drive a car or a cage as he calls it but instead rides a bike. Apparently, I also had a licence to ride a bike. That’s nice to know, shame I forgotten how.
I didn’t think twice before jumping on the back of Blue bike as a I sent a message to Alex letting him know I was safe and sound. At long last I was finally getting somewhere. Blue assured me he was fine to drive as his cuts and bruises had healed up.
I had enjoyed the cold wind whipping against my heated skin as my hair flow back in a wild manner. No helmet, no leather, the thrill of the ride pumped adrenaline around my body. My excited must have been easy to pick up as Blue had asked me to lighten up on my crushing hold. I laugh out loud as my voice echoed around the sleeping streets. I was almost sad that it was over before I truly enjoyed myself maybe I will need to take some lessons before saving for my own bike.
“Here we are" Blue says as he kills the engine.
“It’s a lovely place you have" it was a beautiful pristine white house that have wooden fencing going around the garden. It was one of those houses you wanted to raise a family in as the garden was immaculate having a variety of flower beds along the side. I could see a rose Bush, poppies, daisy’s and even a bed of African lilac lilies.
“This was meant to have been our house before you disappeared" His eyes look off into the distance as whatever he sees drags him into the past as I remain in shock.
Our house? I know I shouldn’t get attached to plans I didn’t even know about, but this was robbed from me like most things had been.
“Its OK Izzy. I understand. What you said was true. We both need this closure, I just through you should know" He tells me softly as I look around in wonder and I haven’t even made it inside!
A swing seat moves gently in the breeze as the wooden porch is silent as I make my way to the front door. I’m terrified to see what lays in the past, at the same time it’s the closure I need.
‘Well are you going to show me in? Or will you keep a girl in suspense?” I tease trying to hide how nervous I am. Blue must be feeling the same as he swallows hard before fumbling for his keys. I watch as his hands shake making it hard for him to open the door.
“Welcome to my humble home" He says as he bows dramatically making me giggle like a schoolgirl. This is just what I need after walking away from Dante. “I apologise for how my home looks as I didn’t know how tonight would play out" Blue says sheepishly as I walk in.
I’m taken back by the pictures placed on the walls as Blue and a stranger stare back at me with such happiness. She looks just like me but she’s not me as I’m not her. So carefree and wild that she doesn’t have a care in the world. Even in the photos I can see how confident and powerful she is. Photos of picnics, days at the park, zoos and night outs are all over the walls. My eyes roam over every single one as I take in how happy I was with him, how I let my hair down and didn’t care.
‘Sorry I will take them down soon, its just-"
“You were hoping that one day I would walk in through those doors and pick up where we once were" I say as one photo in particular draws my attention. It was a photo of me and Blue having a portrait taken. Not the type you get done in digital but one where someone had painted the image as you could see the brush strokes.
“I did but I can see another one holds your heart" He doesn’t say it with any cruel intent but just thinking about him has the remains of my heart squeezing painfully. “I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said that, not with how things ended"
I winced at the painful reminded as it was still fresh in my mind as it was only a few hours ago it happened. “I will need to get used to it at some point” I start to steer the conversation away from my pathetic love life.
“Come, would you like some coffee before talking about our ghosts" Praise the lord! I could so do with one as I have a feeling, I will need the energy to stay up.
“Yes, please as long-"
“As it has extra sugar and really sweet" he finishes for me before disappearing out the room to make coffee.
I take the living as it has 2 three-seaters in cream and brown where you sink right into it. It has a matching puffy with white artic table sitting in the middle. Soft grey carpet matches the silver and grey wallpaper on the feature wall making it stand out in a pop. A normal size tv is screwed into the wall as there are sliding doors to the left which lead into the garden.
I walk to the glass door as I look outside to what appears as a mini version of the garden of Eden. Plants and flowers grow where a green house sits with fruit and vegetables.
“You always wanted to grow your own food, so I had one made for when you returned” Blue says starling me as he holds two streaming cups of coffee.
“I feel so bad for all the effort you went into when I didn’t even know you exist let along built a life for us”
“AS I said it is fine. The most important thing is finding you well and alive. That was what I had hoped for, I’ll admit it was a shock to seen how Dante reacted when I touched you as he was never your type before however, the girl I fell in love with doesn’t exist anymore” He tells me honestly making me feel guilty. I shouldn’t as it wasn’t my fault, but I guess I’m just a bit too emotional. Not the breaking down type and crying my eyes out but more where my emotions are haywire and all over the place.
“Come take a seat and I will tell you everything I know” doing as he says I take a sit and wait for him to begin.
“Where would you like me to start?”
“I want to know everything you know, who was I? how did we meet? What was my life like before? Was I kind? Would I cruel? Do I have any family left?”
“Slow down Izzy” Blue says as he laughs with wild abandon. My cheeks heat with embarrassment at how close our proximity is as I was close to sitting on him and shaking him for answers.
“Sorry” I mutter.
“Don’t be. Just relax” He grins with such boyish charm that I find myself relaxing around him.
“Can I still ask questions?”
“I wouldn’t expect anything less” the smile I receive is filled with such warmth and love that I return a smile which doesn’t reach my eyes. “Right let’s start at the beginning. We meet at an all bikes club over at Aces café where we connected straight away. Something clicked between us as we got chatting, soon enough we had cruise around on our bikes before racing each other”
“I really drove a bike?”
“Yes, you were lethal with one! No one could beat you! You were such a dare devil as you were an adrenaline junky” His eyes glaze over as he continues to talk. “You never cared for following the rules as you did what you wanted without consequences. It was what pulled me to you. You must understand you were such a care-free spirt that couldn’t be tamed. Magic would dance in your eyes, as you casted spells. You truly captured my heart that night where I pursued you”
“What happened then?”
“You said no the first three times! Always making me chase you around. I swear you got off on the chase” I couldn’t image anyone saying no to this kind, gentle soul.
“The day you finally said yes lit my very soul up as I through I had finally found my
treasure. Years of waiting and searching where final over as I held you that night”
“Treasure?”
“Ahh, right. I forgot” I give him a pointed look at his words.
“Clearly”
“Right sorry. It’s a bit weird for me as I keep forgetting you don’t remember”
“Only if you don’t mind”
He waves my concerns of “I am a dragon shifter and when I said treasure, I meant it as I had finally found my mate. The one that would balance me out and complete my soul” Ouch! A mate is more serious then marriage as it binds two souls together for eternity where if one died then the other would soon follow as well due to the intense pain that followed.
“I am so sorry Blue; I didn’t even know this could be possible”
He waves it off like a bad smell, but I can see the hurt and pain in his eyes. He does well to mask it, but I can see how torn up he is over this. No one should find their mate only to lose them to another.
“Honestly Izzy, I expected to feel rage or jealously from how he had claimed you and taken you from me but… I didn’t feel any of that” He looks confused as I do about his words. “I was so certain that you were my mate as I felt my dragon pinning for you but the moment, I saw you. I can’t explain it. You smell different then before where even my dragon didn’t recognise you as we go by scent and smell”
“SO? I smell different which prevented me from being your mate?” Well that’s confusing.
“No not like that. It’s like something within you changed who you were- “
“Losing your memory would do that”
“No. More than just that. It’s like someone had completely rewired you as I wouldn’t have known it was you if it wasn’t for your green eyes and silver hair”
“Would that even be possible?”
“I don’t know but what I do know is I can continue telling you about the magic you possessed and maybe help you find it” He looks so serious as his words had freaked me out. Talk about a fucked up thing happening! What’s next? Finding out that aliens had hijacked my body for a joy ride and pumped me full of crazy voodoo!
Instead of voicing these throughs I simple say “That would be great Blue”
“Care for me to finish?”
I sit back and wait for him to finish our story from start to finish. If my heart wasn’t broken by another, I could have easily fallen in love with him. Our story was filled with adventure and magic like Rapunzel and Flynn Rider expect for him being a thief and instead a dragon. Replace the horse with two bikes who explored the night and watched fireworks. Take away the princess aspect and replace it with a crazy powerful Fae and you have us in a nutshell.
“it sounds like we had a great time”
“We did, you would love riding and travelling around London chasing fireworks. Don’t forget if you saw something shiny that was it. You were gone like a thief in the night who was out to burgle the queen” He roared out.
“OMG! … That’s what I’m like now. If it sparkles and shines, then I want it” we laughed together at how bad my addiction is.
“Before I forget I took the liberty of taking care of your stuff from your old apartment. I knew how much they had meant to you as it contained family albums and family heirlooms… it’s all upstairs if you want it”
I sobered up at the through of learning about my parent but at the same time I wasn’t sure right now was the best time. “I might browse through it”
“Here” he says giving me a key. “it’s my spare key for you to come in and go through it all. Take your time as tonight has been a lot to take in”
“Please stop” I couldn’t take how sweet he was being.
“Why?”
“Because I feel so guilty about what happened between us. it’s not fair that you are literally the perfect man with how caring and kind you are and yet here I am being a bitch making you bring it all up”
He cups my face as I look into his unique eyes that swirl with so much emotion in them that I could drown. “Izzy, my sweet Izzy. I don’t mind at least you will remember me now and share these memories. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you even if you’re not my mate. You may be claimed by another, but I will always be here for you as you hold my heart”
“You can’t give away your heart like that it will only get broken”
“You had it from the moment I saw you” He presses his head against mine as we both let out tears for our stolen love.
“I need to go” Too much, too soon. I can’t deal with this right now my head is spinning. Of all the things I expected to find out, it wasn’t someone that believed I was their mate, then found out something was changed within me. But to still hold another man’s heart isn’t fair. He deserves to find his one love, his one true mate that will heal the damage I had done.
“I understand… just don’t forget about me, I will be here if you need me”
He didn’t ask to take me home as he knew I needed to be on my own as I digest everything I had learnt. He could read me so well that it scared me a little as I was so transparent to him.
“Thank you” I said with teary eyes before running out the door like hell hounds where snapping on my heels.
I ran out into the night as the heavens opened up just as I let my tears fall freely. “Damn you to hell” I screamed out, my words tangled with each other, almost impossible to be understood by a human being. “What the fuck did I ever do to deserve this?!” I screamed again at the sky wishing for once that the Gods would reply to me.
The freezing nights air ruffles my hair as small droplets of water descend down from the heavens above as they coat my skin. “I don’t deserve this! I didn’t do anything wrong!” My voice echoes out into the night as I fall to my knees. For a moment, I don’t even understand the words that are coming out of my mouth as I curse every God I can name, but it feels good to blame someone else for the condition I find myself in. My rant continues as I break down on the sidewalk as I feel the knots in my chest loosen. I scream about the injustices in losing what seemed to have been a very good life, I scream about the pain and rejection I feel from Dante, I scream about my misery, my anger. But mostly my frustration at how my life is unfolding. I don’t want to sound like a whiny bitch who can’t deal with life, but I need to get it all out.
I let loose all the things that I have been bottling deep down in hopes they would disappear and fade away, but the bottled feeling never disappears. They shatter the glass and hurt you even more as they piece your flesh. I have already had my heart ripped out, mostly Dante’s fault and a bit mine from falling so quickly. I’m already in an emotional battle waging war against my heart and mind. I’m already broken and don’t need my head fucked with from what Blue revealed.
Hot tears run down my cheek, leaving wet black tracks from the mascara. Wiping my eyes, I curl up and cry until there’s nothing left as my tear ducks run dry.
Soft hands pull at me calling my name out but I pay them no mind. Even when an earthy scent hits my nose, I already know who it is and regret him seeing me like this as I know it will only make him feel guilty. But my body and brain won’t function as I stay cradling myself, protecting my body from the pain that rackets through.
“Izzy. Please” Blues voice breaks as I shake and pull myself smaller. Blue keeps trying to get through to me but its jumbled words that I hear as my brain won’t register his words. Eventually he must have had enough as he picked me up and carried me out of the rain. I knew I didn’t need to fear him as I let my mind shut down like a clock ticking its final tock.
Chapter Thirty
Day 1: Shattered. Broken. Grief. Denial
Poor Blue had to call reinforcements to help him deal with me as I lashed out with venom coating my every word. He called Alex using my phone as it didn’t have a password and was down as my emergency contact on my phone. I didn’t need to say a word as Alex had already known why I was in such turmoil as the storm inside raged on.
For that I l
oved him more as he took me from Blue and drove us home where he stayed holding me all night. Our phones would ring and ping, but they were switched to silent as I stayed unmoving in his arms. He was right as he was the one to piece up the broken pieces of me, but the problem was. There was no putting me back together as I wasn’t no humpty dumpty made from egg who could be glued back together again. No band aid could cover the cracks created within my heart and soul. For Dante was right, we had been entangled and intertwined together. What was left of my soul and heart would cry out for Dante, but my mind and common sense knew I needed to get away from him as far as humanly possible.
This was not the life I wanted for myself and I knew I would find the courage and strength to shoulder through this. But right now, …
I was shattered from the truth of what was revealed. I was broken from how much I truly realized how much I wanted his heart, but he didn’t have one to give. I was struck with grief from what happened between me and Blue as that bitch had destroyed what could have been an amazing life. But most importantly I was in denial with Dante being there, that he could have done something to me that night as I felt myself slipping into the afterlife. He was the keeper of lies and secretes who guarded them worse than a dragon protecting what was theirs.
Lost Girl (Soul Bound Book 1) Page 29
