Eric scanned the room, then nodded. “Dominique, I think. She plays with a few different subs, but she had just started training him the last time I visited.”
“Do you know most of the people here?”
“About half—if that. A lot of people have come and gone since I was a regular.”
“When did you start coming here?”
“Cade brought me here about a week after I turned twenty-one.”
“Jessica said after you got into that big fight you started working and hanging out with some older guy,” she trailed off.
“Cade.” Eric said, confirming Lena’s suspicion. “We worked together at a dairy bar. He as in college studying business, but he was the only person who would really let me rant, about things at home and school. I found out later that he understood me better than I originally thought.”
“I’d say.”
“Since you’re forming coherent words and sentences, does that mean you’ve recovered enough to continue?”
“You have more plans?” She asked, even though the revelation was far from surprising.
“I still owe you something, or eight somethings.”
She drew back. “I didn’t think I’d like the clothespins, but if my punishment is worse than that I’m definitely not going to like this part.”
“It might not be so bad. No pain will be involved.”
“Then, what exactly are you going to do?”
Eric raised his eyebrows. “You'll find out soon enough.”
He reached around her to put his bag strap over his shoulder, then he stood with her still in his arms, wrapped in the blanket. “How about we take this upstairs?”
At the edge of the bar, Eric sat Lena down on her shaky legs while he got two more waters and slid them into a side pocket on his bag. Lena hugged the blanket around herself as he led her to the stairs and up to the room.
While Eric sorted through his bag, she wandered to the other side of the room to stare down at the floor below through the window. Without warning, Eric grabbed her hips from behind, and pulled her into him, wrapping his arms around her. She relaxed letting her head lay back against his shoulder without taking her eyes off the scenes below.
“You need more water before we get started?”
Lena weighed the options, she did feel a little thirsty, but a water break would delay the inevitable. During her silence, Eric pulled the blanket off her shoulders and tossed it to the floor, followed quickly by her top and skirt—which were barely hanging on anyway.
“Go get your water,” he said.
She felt his eyes on her, taking in her entire naked body as she turned and walked across the room to retrieve a bottle from his bag. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed some toys already piled at the foot of the bed waiting. She leaned against the bureau, her turn to watch as Eric pulled a large wedge cushion out of a drawer built into the bed frame. He tossed it onto the bed so that the narrow side was toward the pillows and waited for her. Having drank half of the bottle, she replaced the lid and set it aside.
“On the bed.”
As she approached, her eyes wandered over the bed, and a motion above her caught her eye—a large mirror loomed over the bed. Her eyes widened as she considered an extra view of Eric while he was taking her.
“What are you daydreaming about?” Eric asked.
All Lena could do was smile, there was no way she was describing that fantasy aloud—not right now.
“I'm sorry to disappoint you, but for now you're not going to be doing much looking up.” He patted the wedge. “Ass in the air, sweetie.”
“You said no spanking.”
“Yes, I did. Now move.” He pulled each wrist down by her side and strapped it to the cushion. Then he did the same to each of her knees leaving her wide open.
He didn’t leave any time for adjustment or argument as something cool slipped into her. He adjusted, making sure that the outer portion rested firmly against her clit.
Oh, shit, she thought.
“So,” he laid down beside her and she caught site of a small object in his hand, “We’re going to have a chat.”
“Really? We're going to do this, now?”
“Ah, ah,” he scolded. “You’re at eight. Don't want to add another, do you?”
He flipped the switch, and it hit every sensitive spot with a round of pulsating vibrations. She jumped, digging her fingers into the edge of the wedge. She had no leverage to move. No way to escape.
“Give me a random fact about you.”
Lena opened her mouth but found it impossible to think around the fog. “I, uh, play piano.”
As soon as she spoke the bombardment ceased, and she took a deep, shaky breath.
Eric kissed her cheek. “Only seven left to go.”
“I can't—” the sensations started again. “—think.”
“That's the point, Sweetie. Seven.”
Fuck. “I… I have...I don't...I like to read.”
The sensations stopped as Eric chuckled. “I'll give you that one, but from now on, it better be something I don't know.”
“My favorite color is red,” she spout out as soon as the buzzing began.
“You're getting quick.”
With the next one, she found herself floundering again. Just go through things that you like, she thought. “I like snow.”
“No more favorites. Five.”
“Shit.”
“Now, now.” He could pretend to scold all he wanted, but the amused smirk never left his face.
“I...” suddenly the things started flashing through her head that she wasn't ready to spill. “I've never owned a car.”
She tried to use the few moments of respite to collect her thoughts—to think of something new, but he didn't give her long enough. “Only four more.”
She wanted to bite in to the damn cushion below her. “Please.”
“As much as I love that word. It's not getting you out of this.”
Lena tried to fight the sensations and the flashes, but it was too much to do at the same time. Her breath caught in her throat, and the room fell away. Yellow, her brain fired off one final attempt at redemption, say it!
The terror struck too quickly. She didn’t feel connected. She was trapped, no longer protected.
The fear tightened around her neck. Oh god, I can’t breathe.
The room turned into a dark blur.
And her heart pounded to get out of her chest.
“Lena,” her name echoed, but she couldn't focus.
Then something touched her cheek, and she jerked against the restraints. “Please, stop, fucking stop.”
As she tried to inhale, she choked and gasped. Her arms came free, then her legs and she jumped away trying to get off of the bed.
“Sweetie.”
She swung.
“Lena, look at me.”
She forced her eyes to focus. But she couldn't get rid of the sensations, the taste in her mouth.
“What color are the walls.”
“What?” The question knocked her off guard. She blinked, falling back into the room as quickly as she’d left. “Why?”
She concentrated on the wall, why wouldn’t it hold still and stay one color? “Creme.”
“What about the carpet?”
Lena shook her head, but her breaths were coming more easily. “Dark. Blue.”
“Now look at me.”
Eric. His face was strained and all she wanted to do was wipe away the last five minutes. She sat on her knees, naked in the middle of the bed. And he was just inches away, but he wasn’t touching her, he wasn’t reaching toward her. She’d sank so quickly, and now she wondered if it was fixable. The tears burned at her eyes, and she tried to look away to keep them from coming. “I'm sorry.”
“Are you okay if I touch you?”
She chuckled at the irony of the question, then nodded. “I am.”
Eric pulled her into his arms and shoved the triangle cushion off the bed,
pulling the blanket around her.
“I'm sorry,” she repeated, but a knock on the door shook her back from the promise of safe haven. “No, don’t let him—“
The doorknob turned, and her legs kicked through the blanket, trying to escape before the room was invaded. Strong arms pinned her against a hard chest—Eric’s chest.
“Lena,” he whispered and she had to quiet herself just to hear him.
More footsteps approached, and she squeezed her eyes closed. “Eric, don’t let them have me.”
“They’d have to kill me or at the very least knock me out to stand a chance of getting you out of my arms.”
“It’s okay, Joe. Let me moderate,” she heard Cade’s voice from the doorway.
Moderate? Now what the hell were they talking about?
More footsteps, but thank goodness they were leaving this time. The room was quiet for a long time before Lena dared open her eyes again. Cade stood, his shoulder propped against the open doorway—the pit bull guarding against another attack.
But there hadn’t been an attack. Her eyes drifted closed. Not a real attack anyway, not a physical one.
Not one she or anyone in this room could really defend against.
She twisted around, wanting to bury her face against Eric’s neck, but the tangle of blankets and body parts kept her from making any progress. Eric, however, simply lifted her up, and turned her to sit across his lap.
Show off, and on a better day, she’d annoy him for it. “I’m sorry.” She vaguely recalled saying that already, but it was the only sentence that seemed to know how to navigate the tangled path from her brain to her lips.
“I know.” He kissed her forehead, “Me too.”
“I tried—before it was too late. But it was gone too fast.”
“Shh. Just sit with me for a while okay?”
Lena nodded, and let the tears go. Male voices whispered around her, but she didn’t care what they were saying anymore. The arms around her weren’t letting go, and at the moment, that was the only thing that mattered.
When there were no more tears left, her body shook with exhaustion and her head throbbed like she’d been pounding it off of a wall. Cade was now sitting at the foot of the bed, still keeping his distance, just taking in all of the details carefully as any watchdog would.
Eric twisted the lid off a fresh bottle of water and told her to drink. By the end of the bottle, her pounding headache was finally starting to ease off, but her head was heavy, teetering on her neck, and waiting not so patiently for sleep.
“It's been a long night.”
“No, please. I'll—”
“Lena, you don't need to do anything. We're both spent. We need some time to recharge. And,” he lifted her chin, “you don't have to keep saying you're sorry.”
“No. I don't... I don't want to be alone.” The panic beat at her from inside, but her body had nothing left to give it.
“I won't leave you alone. And, I don’t want to push you anymore tonight, but Cade needs to ask you a couple of questions.”
She frowned for a second, then looked both men over. “Why?”
“You used your safeword,” Cade said.
A shake of her head set off her whole body shaking again. “I didn’t. I tried—I thought, but….”
“You did,” Cade leaned toward her, not enough to be intimidating, but he was serious. “These rooms are monitored, that’s why Joe came up. Then, I came because I wasn’t sure how you’d react to a stranger.”
She tried to replay what had happened, but all rational thought cut away. “I remember trying to say yellow, knowing I should, but after that everything went wonky.”
“You didn’t say yellow. You screamed driver, then red, you repeated them a few times. I couldn’t do much because you were freaking out so bad I thought you’d hurt yourself.”
“I wasn’t here.” She took a handful of his shirt and pressed her nose against his neck. “You knew—that’s why you asked me the color of the walls?”
Cade edged closer again. “Do you know what pushed you over?”
Her body tensed. Please don’t make me explain it here, not now, and not in front of both of you. Eric’s hand stroked her back, and she straightened her thoughts enough for a simple answer. “Yes.”
“Okay. I won’t ask you to explain it to me—”
Thank god.
“—but I have one more question, even though I suspect I know the answer. Do you trust Eric to take care of you if I let you leave with him?”
“Yes.” That was the easy one. What she wanted to know was whether Eric wanted to after that. “It wasn’t his fault. He couldn’t have known.”
And that, was my fault.
“All right, then,” Cade patted the bed as he stood, “I know Eric will take good care of you, but you take care of him too, okay? Tell him what he needs to know.”
“Yes, Sir.”
Eric
When he got up to speed on the highway and no longer had to shift, Eric held his hand palm up over Lena’s thigh. He didn’t want to make a move to touch her and risk setting her off again—although he was fairly certain the danger had passed. She laced her fingers through his, so he dropped his hand to her thigh.
“You don’t have to be afraid to touch me,” she whispered, “I’m okay.”
“We’re going to have to work on your definition of okay.”
She squeezed his hand but didn’t offer further comment. Whatever she was struggling with had hit her hard and fast. He’d predicted that she would have had more trouble with the scene he and Cade arranged, not afterward. Even as he ran over every detail for at least the fifth time, he didn’t understand what set her off. He had no choice but to wait and let her explain—if she explained.
“I need you to talk to me, Sweetie. I don’t even care what about.”
She took a breath and readjusted, giving his hand a small squeeze. “What’s your favorite food?”
He made a noise in his throat. “Nearly anything with chicken. I’ll wager yours is bacon.”
“I have a weakness, okay? But it’s not my favorite.”
“Ah, chocolate then?”
Lena giggled, or it would have been a giggle if it wasn’t interrupted by more of a sob from her tight throat. “Chocolate covered cherries.”
“I have a feeling I’ll have to keep that in mind.”
She rubbed his fingers, and squeezed, but her silence settled on his chest like an army of fire ants having a party just beneath his skin. Someone had broken his little Loner, and he may have just splintered off a few more pieces. Now he had to figure out how to fix it, or more accurately, how to help her fix it.
Whether he liked it or not, she would have to take the lead.
“You’re sure you’re okay with going to my house?”
“Yeah….” She rolled her head against the seat to look at him. “As long as you’re okay with that.”
“I’d go crazy with you anywhere else tonight.”
“I don’t want to stop,” she whispered.
He glanced at her, eyebrow arched as the fire ant sensation in his chest radiated outward.
“I want to be your sub.” She said the first words quickly, then looked down at their entwined hands. “If. You. Want.”
“If I want?” he squeezed her hand before he had to pull away to shift the car on the exit. “I’d love that, but we have talking to do first.”
“I know. Sometimes the talking worries me more than the sex, and I know that’s what you were trying to get past tonight.” Although she spoke quietly, her voice was rough from the physical and emotional effects of the evening he’d put her through.
Eric kept his eyes on the road as it gradually darkened. The closer they got to the housing complex, the fewer city lights there were, leaving the streets lit by only a few overhead lamps. Every noise from the passenger seat put his nerves more on edge, knowing that despite the small distance between them, there was little he could do to soothe her.
She needed to be held, and he needed to hold her, but for now, all they had were words and the darkness of the car for comfort. “We’ll work it out. I promise.”
“Two weeks, Eric. What if in two months we decide this whole chemistry thing isn’t working?”
Eric stopped at the next intersection, thankful the stop sign and lack of traffic would give him a moment to soothe her. “Two weeks ago, I had hardly anything to look forward to. No one can guarantee what’s going to happen in two months. Maybe in the long run, we won’t work, but maybe we will. Either way, give me one good reason why we shouldn’t take every moment for all we can.”
He lifted her hand to his mouth, kissing her knuckles and holding it there for a long minute, to take in her scent and the feel of her soft skin. “I can tell that you’ve had to be strong for a long time, and I don’t want to take that strength away from you. I want to help you see it differently.”
“You do.” Her soft smile was tainted by the tears that spilled over her eyelids as she spoke. “And it scares me that I like it.”
“Four blocks,” he said, wiping the tears from her cheeks, “then, all you have to do is let me take care of you tonight.”
Lena nodded, and rested her hand on Eric’s thigh as he continued through the intersection. The next corner led into a housing complex with broad white houses, and neatly trimmed yards.
“Fancy schmancy,” Lena whispered.
“We moved here when I was in middle school. Nothin’ like nostalgia.”
Eric pulled up the drive to one of the clones, and pressed a button overhead to raise the garage door. He grabbed his bag from the backseat, then climbed out of the car to meet Lena at the front of the car.
Inside the house, he kicked off his shoes, then pulled Lena close to kiss the top of her head, letting her soft hair slide through his fingers. Her eyes were puffy and lined with red, and she blinked them slowly as she braced herself against his chest. Deep down, he wanted to keep her talking, but he wasn’t sure either of them could handle pushing the matter further. One thing he wasn’t risking was setting her off again, so his number one priority was making her comfortable and letting her take the lead. “I’m going to put my bag away. I don’t want Charlie stumbling on it. If you want to get comfortable, I’ll make us some drinks, and we can put on a movie.”
Bound and Unbroken Page 15
