“Meg,” Chris began tentatively, across the breakfast table. “I was thinking, what if I ask Mum to keep Harrison tonight? We could meet in the city after work, have dinner, spend some time, just the two of us?”
Meg sipped her coffee thoughtfully. Why couldn’t he have just gone ahead and made the arrangements, and then told her—“Meet me at Pier One tonight.” Something romantic like that, instead of painstakingly checking every detail with her.
“Okay,” she smiled faintly. “That’d be lovely.” She knew it was important that they spend some time together. Ally was right, they had to talk.
“Where do you want to go?”
“Surprise me.” Please.
Chris frowned. “Oh? But what do you feel like? You know, if I book Indian, and you’re not in the mood…”
“Just pick somewhere fabulous.”
“Prodigy it is then.”
Prodigy was their special occasion restaurant. For every special occasion. It was starting to lose its specialness.
“Now you’ve gone and spoilt the surprise.”
Chris shook his head, grinning. “Since when did you like surprises?”
* * *
They were seated at a table near the window, taking in the view across the city to the harbor. Meg surveyed the menu and put it down, frustrated. Chris was studying his closely.
“I don’t know whether to have the veal, the risotto or the lamb shanks,” he mused.
“I’m sure they’re all good,” Meg replied, hoping she didn’t sound snitty. Chris always did this. You’d think he was buying a car, the way he deliberated over a menu. She remembered she used to find it endearing.
Meg threw back the rest of her champagne. “Pour me another, will you?” she asked him, twirling her glass around by the stem.
“Thirsty tonight?” Chris remarked, filling her glass.
The waiter returned to the table. “Can I take your orders?”
“What does the chef recommend this evening?” Meg asked, ignoring Chris’s raised eyebrow.
“The swordfish is very good, and the kangaroo fillets with artichoke and fennel are a specialty.”
“Okay, I’ll have that.”
“I don’t think you’d like it, Meg,” said Chris in a low voice across the table.
“How do I know if I don’t try it?”
“It’s just, I think you’ll find the fennel a bit strong…”
“I feel like trying something different, okay?”
Now she knew she sounded snitty. Chris gave his order to the waiter and he left them. Meg gazed out the window.
“Honey,” he said, reclaiming her attention. “Are you happy?”
The last person who asked her that question was Jamie. “What do you mean? Of course I’m happy.”
He looked at her steadily. “Are you? Are you really happy?”
Meg sighed. If they were going to get anywhere, she had to be honest. “Not really.”
She couldn’t stand the lost look on his face.
“It’s a lot of things, Chris. I don’t know where I’m headed at work, I don’t know if I want another baby.”
“What about us?” he asked quietly.
She looked at him squarely.
“You’re the best man I’ve ever known, Chris. This is exactly where I want to be.” She’d been reciting that to herself a lot lately. Most of the time she believed it.
Chris was watching her. “But it’s gone a little stale, hasn’t it?”
“Is that how you feel?”
He shook his head. “To be honest, Meg, no. Just being your husband, and Harrison’s father, that’s all I need.”
Meg’s heart rose into her mouth. “Chris…”
“It’s okay, honey. I want you to be happy. I’ll do anything.”
“Chris,” she said firmly. It was getting too close to the bone. “You and I, we’ll be fine. Married people go through peaks and troughs. We are not the problem.”
She couldn’t stand to hurt him. They would get through this, and besides, if she sorted out some of the other issues, maybe everything would seem better anyway.
“But you know,” she continued, taking another tack, “since I dropped the idea of becoming a director, I feel a bit aimless at work.”
“Do you want to rethink that?”
She shook her head. “No, that’s the thing, I’ve realized this career is not that important to me anymore.”
“Well then, what would you like to do?”
“I don’t know.”
Chris leaned forward, refilling her glass. “You’re a bright, talented woman, Meg. You could do anything you put your mind to.”
She shrugged. “Like what?”
“I don’t know. What interests you?”
She really couldn’t think of anything.
“Or you could take some time off,” Chris suggested.
“Have another baby?” she asked, lifting an eyebrow.
“Is that what you want?”
“I don’t know. I mean, I don’t want Harrison to be an only child, but sometimes I get annoyed that everyone seems to expect me to have another baby, like I don’t have a choice in the matter.”
“Of course it’s your choice, Meg.”
“How would you feel if we didn’t have any more children?”
Chris thought for a moment. “I won’t pretend I wouldn’t be a little disappointed. But we have Harrison, and I want you to be happy, not tied down to a baby if that’s not what you want.”
She smiled faintly at him.
“You can take time off without being pregnant, Meg,” he continued. “Have a think about it. You could change jobs, or do a course, go back to university. Whatever makes you happy.”
The waiter arrived with their meals, and they started to eat. Meg bit into a piece of fennel, and it took her breath away. Chris looked up, noticing the worried expression on her face as she sat chewing slowly.
“How is it?”
Meg looked up at him sheepishly. She swallowed, washing it down with a gulp of champagne. “It’s a bit strong,” she said hoarsely.
Chris smiled at her, and they both started to laugh.
“Well, at least you can’t say you didn’t try it.”
Friday
Meg dialed Ally’s number. She knew she was probably busy, they were planning to open the restaurant next month. But Meg didn’t care. She was feeling restless, and she couldn’t bear to spend another day at home.
“Hello?” said Ally.
“Hi, it’s me.”
“Hi Meg!” she replied warmly. “How are you?”
“Okay, I was wondering if you felt like a visit from Harrison and me?”
“What, for the weekend?” Ally hoped she didn’t sound negative, but she couldn’t possibly spare the time to entertain Meg at the moment.
“No, I was thinking of driving down for the day.”
“You want to come all this way just for the day?”
“I’ve got nothing better to do.”
But Ally did.
Meg sensed her hesitation. “Look, I don’t want to get in the way, I know you’re busy.”
“No, don’t be silly. I’d love to see you. Really.”
“Are you sure?”
The others were always telling Ally that she needed to take a break, and she liked to keep them off her back since her illness.
“Absolutely. Look it’s cold, but the days are beautiful at the moment. We could take Harrison to a park, veg out for a while.”
“That sounds great, Ally. I’ll go down to Double Bay on the way and buy some goodies, pack up a picnic hamper.”
Ally went to protest.
“I insist. Then we’ll be all set for lunch, and it won’t take you away from your work for too long.”
“Okay Meg. Do you remember how to get here?”
“I’m pretty sure, I can always call you on the mobile if I get lost.”
“Then I’ll see you when you get here.”
*
* *
It was around noon when Ally heard Meg calling out from the front entrance.
“Hi Meg,” she said, poking her head into the hall. “Come on in.”
Meg stepped tentatively into the room, Harrison perched on her hip.
“Hi Harry!” Ally said warmly. He smiled at her more readily this time, having seen her only a few weeks ago. “Just let me get cleaned up and we can go.”
Meg looked around the room. “Wow, it’s…” she faltered.
“Very unfinished!” Ally wiped her hands on a rag. “We’ve got so much to do.”
“When do you open?”
“Last weekend in July. We’re having a special Yuletide dinner.”
“Sounds great.”
Ally nodded. “I just hope we’re ready by then, but Nic had her heart set on it, and they do need to start operating, making some income. Come and I’ll show you the main room.”
They walked down the hall. “This looks better,” said Meg.
They had stuck pretty much to Ally’s original idea, and the room was now painted all white. It looked fresh and bright and airy, especially in comparison to the rest of the place.
“What are you going to do with the floors?” Meg asked, noticing the tacky carpet, splattered with paint.
“They’ll be stripped, but that’s the last thing, or else they’ll get wrecked with all the tradesmen coming and going.”
“Speaking of tradesmen, is Matt around?”
Ally folded her arms. “He was here earlier, for a while. But now he’s off on another job.”
“So…?” Meg asked pointedly.
“What?” Ally didn’t want to talk about Matt. He’d cooled off considerably since the flu episode. They had a solid working relationship now, and that’s all there was to it. Though sometimes she caught him watching her with an odd expression on his face.
“To be honest, Meg, we’re so busy that if Mel Gibson walked through that door and asked me for a date, I’d probably turn him down.”
Meg sighed heavily. “You know, Al, you give singledom a bad name.”
“Let’s go to the park.”
* * *
“He’s getting too big, Meg, and too grown up,” Ally complained, reclining back on the grass, watching Harrison play.
“And I’m devastated that he calls me Ally now, instead of Ya-Yee.”
Meg smiled vaguely. Ally glanced across at her.
“So what’s going on?”
“What do you mean?”
“What did you want to talk about? You didn’t come all the way down here just for the scenery.”
“Well, mostly I did. I’ve been going stir-crazy at home lately.”
“You’re still working three days?”
Meg nodded. “When I’m at the office, I don’t want to be there. And when I’m at home, I don’t know what to do with myself.”
She wasn’t going to admit that there were times when she sat literally staring at the phone, willing it to ring. Willing it to be Jamie. But he’d taken her at her word. There had been no phone calls, no surprise visits at work. And she had no way to contact him, which was just as well.
Meg had been toying with the idea of telling Ally about him, knowing she’d be absolutely horrified. It might help her to put Jamie Carroll out of her mind once and for all.
“Have you and Chris talked?”
“We have actually.”
Ally looked at her expectantly. “And?”
“He was completely understanding, of course. He doesn’t mind if we don’t have another baby. We can travel, if I want. Um, what else?” Meg paused, thinking. “I could take time off work, study, whatever I want really.”
“That’s great,” said Ally. “So what will you do?”
Meg lay back on the picnic blanket, tucking her arms behind her head. “It’s funny, you know. I thought I didn’t have any choices.” That’s what she’d told Jamie. “Now I feel like I’ve got too many choices. It’s like bathroom tiles.”
Ally was mystified. “I’m afraid I don’t get the analogy.”
Meg glanced across at her. “Remember when we did up the bathroom?”
Ally nodded.
“I wanted something different, a change. Remember?”
“I remember how we went to every frigging tile shop in the Sydney metropolitan area, and beyond.”
“That’s right. There were too many tiles to choose from. Too many colors, every size imaginable, and patterned, plain, glossy, matt—”
“I get the point,” Ally interrupted. “But do you remember what you ended up with?”
“Whatever’s on the walls now.”
“Well, if I remember right, they were the first tiles you saw, at the first shop we walked into.”
Meg frowned, thinking. “I’d forgotten that.”
“So what does that tell you?”
“I should leave everything as it is?” She pulled a face.
“Not necessarily,” Ally mused. “I just wonder if sometimes we go searching for something when what we really want has been right in front of us all the time.”
Meg sat up, facing Ally. She took a deep breath. “I almost had an affair.”
Ally’s eyes widened. “What?”
“I almost had an affair.”
“How do you ‘almost’ have an affair?”
Meg shrugged. “I was seeing someone, but I broke it off before things went too far.”
Ally was gobsmacked. “When was that?”
“What—the breaking off?”
She nodded vaguely.
“About a month ago. I haven’t seen him since.”
Ally roused herself. “This is a real person you’re talking about? You actually did this?”
“I didn’t ‘do’ anything in the end.”
“Then what happened? Who is he? How did you meet him?” Ally felt flustered. This was something she had never expected to hear from Meg. Rational, careful Meg.
“I met him at work, at a shoot. He asked me out for a drink. Then he called around work a few times, took me to lunch.” Meg smiled wistfully, remembering. “He even took me riding on a motorbike down the South Coast one day.”
“You, on a motorbike? I don’t believe it.”
Meg looked at Ally. “That was the thing, Jamie made me push my boundaries a bit.”
“Jamie?” Ally frowned. “How old is he?”
“Why do you ask?”
“Well, grown men don’t call themselves ‘Jamie’!”
“This one does,” Meg refuted.
Ally thought for a moment. “And you’re saying nothing happened?”
“Well, it came close, so I told him I couldn’t see him anymore. And I haven’t.”
“So, how are things between you and Chris?”
“He doesn’t know anything about it, okay?”
Ally nodded.
“We’re fine,” she sighed. “It certainly made me appreciate what I have with him…”
“But?”
Meg looked at her.
“I could hear a ‘but’ coming,” Ally explained.
Meg drew her knees up, hugging them. “I just wish there was more excitement, a little romance…”
“You expect too much, Meg. Life’s not really like that.”
She groaned. “Why can’t it be?”
“I’m sure if you settled down and had a child and a mortgage with this Jamie character, the romance would wane soon enough.”
Meg didn’t want to explain that she couldn’t imagine Jamie settling down in a pink fit. And that was the attraction.
“You should think about doing a course or something. Keep your mind occupied. Find an interest.”
Meg nodded. “Maybe. I’ll have to get a hold of one of those course guides.”
Ally would have to remember to prod her a bit in that direction.
“What about you?” said Meg. “What are you going to do once the restaurant is finished?”
“Well, it won’t be for a while yet.
We’re not even starting on two of the front rooms until after the opening. And I’m committed to working there till Rob and Nic get the business established.”
“So you’ll see the rest of the year out down here?”
“Probably.”
“Maybe something else will come up?”
Ally shrugged, gazing across to where Harrison was playing. She had been feeling lately that her life was drifting off in a direction that was unlikely to lead to ever having a family of her own. She loved her work, she even loved having the little cottage all to herself, but there was something missing, and she was going to have to get used to it.
“What’s wrong?”
Ally looked at Meg. “Nothing.”
“Yes there is, you look all broody.”
“I just miss that little boy,” she said, smiling faintly, watching Harrison.
Meg studied her. “You’d still like to have one of your own, wouldn’t you?”
“Sure, and I’d like to have a million dollars, and straight hair,” Ally dismissed. “Doesn’t mean it’s going to happen.”
“Of course not, if you keep pushing away prospective suitors.”
“Yes, that big stick I keep by the door really does the trick. Keeps the hordes at bay.”
Meg pulled a face at her. “Ally, you know who I’m talking about. I just don’t want to mention his name because it always sets you off.”
“Matt Serrano is not marriage or father material,” Ally stated resolutely.
“Because of something that happened a decade ago?” Meg said with disbelief. “That’s such a cop-out, Ally.”
“No it isn’t. Maybe it wouldn’t bother you, but it bothers me, okay?” She sighed heavily. “It’s better if I start getting used to the idea that it’s just not going to happen for me.”
Meg felt overwhelmingly sad for her friend. “It could happen if you let it. It’s your choice.”
“Maybe I don’t have all the choices you have, Meg.”
July
It was just two weeks until the opening of the restaurant. There still seemed an impossible amount to be done, but they were committed now. They had a full house for the Yuletide dinner.
Now in the middle of it all, they had to give up a day to clear out Circle’s End. Ally had almost forgotten about it, until the agent called to confirm a date for settlement. She’d promptly gone into a spin, but Nic had taken control. She lined up Matt with his truck, and she and Rob were helping until their shifts started in the afternoon. Ally had resisted at first, not wanting to put anyone out.
Call Waiting Page 28
