by Alex Wolf
I wake up in my bed, completely naked, sore as all hell, but in the best possible way. Everything aches so damn good, and I know it’s because Cole fucked me multiple times last night. I clench around nothing but air, and it’s like I can still feel him inside me, and I miss it.
The smell of bacon wafts into my nose, and I know he’s already been up, to the store, and is now cooking me breakfast like he always does.
What are you doing? You love him?
Sure, it’s definitely true, but should I have told him already? It feels like I should’ve waited longer. This whole thing is happening at warp speed, and I need to make sure I’m mentally prepared for whatever might happen.
It’s like I’m a totally different person when he’s around. I don’t think rationally. I love that about Cole and at the same time it bothers me. Eventually, I’m going to work back to being normal, regular Harlow around him and how will that play out?
I roll over and get out of bed, wrapping a sheet around me in the process. He came inside me last night, three times.
Motherfucking stupid.
It felt so damn good, but I’m not on the pill. It’s the most reckless thing I’ve ever done in my life. Completely irresponsible.
I am so not ready to be a mother yet, and how the hell would Cole deal with a baby right now? There are probably a million hidden issues with him and how he grew up, and I’m not sure if he’s properly dealt with them. I’m behaving like the people I chastise daily in my brain, like Cole’s mom. Irresponsible parents.
Fuck.
We’re not even married and that has to be years off on the horizon, if ever. What if I get bored of him? And who the hell was I last night? He probably has women come up to him all the time for autographs, women hitting on him. I’ve never been jealous in my life, but when I saw him with those two girls all over him, I wanted to toss those bitches right over the balcony onto the dance floor.
This is so fucking dangerous. I’m juggling knives, and I can’t juggle for shit.
I stay in my room for a few extra minutes, because I know the second I see him, I’m going to morph back into irresponsible Harlow who makes stupid decisions. All it takes is seeing his face, or my God, him wearing a suit. What is that all about?
I go through my phone and check emails and texts, just to try to take my mind off him for a little bit. I just need a second to breathe, think.
“I love you, Harlow.”
I felt alive for the first time when he said that to me. Nobody has ever said those words to me, not in that context. No man or woman. I was floating on air. He could’ve robbed me blind and I’d have thanked him for it, like some kind of brainwashed zombie. All day every day all I can think of is how can I make Cole happy. To be fair, I’m positive he feels the same way. I’m positive he’s telling the truth when he says those words to me.
Finally, I can’t hold it off any longer, and I walk out through my living room and into the kitchen. Cole is cooking in nothing but his boxer briefs. He must’ve worn his suit to go out for groceries and took it off the second he got home. I grin. He really does hate suits. Anyway, I’m not going to complain about it either way. When he reaches up for a pan, his chiseled muscles expand and contract. It’s like his tattoos come to life on his arms and back. My heart speeds up and my adrenaline spikes.
It’s so freaking hot, watching this man cook for me, and I want him again already. I’d do anything for him.
That scares the shit out of me.
He turns around, sees me, and smiles. He looks like a little boy when he does it, and that’s the side of him I love the most. The broody, bad boy, business mogul is hot in certain ways, but when he shows me this side of him nobody else gets to see; that’s what makes this whole thing real to me.
“Hi.”
I look away and holy shit, am I blushing? “Hi.”
The scene playing out in my apartment right now would nauseate normal Harlow. Normal Harlow is wise. Lovestruck Harlow is a moron. Cole and I are acting like a married couple.
Some toast pops up in the toaster I don’t think I’ve ever even used before, and he whips around. He waves his arm behind him.
“Have a seat. It’s almost ready.”
I walk over to the table with the sheet around me and sit down. He walks over with a plate and sets it in front of me, then a glass of orange juice, then hands me a fork. There’s only one plate, one glass, and one fork.
“Where’s yours?”
“I’ll be dining below table.”
My eyebrows quirk up. “Huh?”
Cole gets on his knees, yanks the sheet apart so I’m completely exposed, and licks his lips. Is he really going to go down on me while I eat breakfast?
“You heard me.” He yanks my knees apart and his mouth is on me in an instant.
Holy shit!
His tongue feels so damn good. I don’t think this is exactly what my teachers had in mind when they said, “Work hard and all your dreams in life will come true.” But it turns out they were right. I don’t see how life can get better. I’ve peaked at twenty-six, can’t go anywhere but down from here. I eat a piece of bacon and damn near choke on it because his tongue works circles around my clit. Breakfast ends with me shuddering and gripping the glass of orange juice while it sloshes around over the rim as I come undone all over his mouth.
Finally, I glance down at him, trying to catch my breath. My chest and face are flushed, and I didn’t even think about making myself look presentable before I came out here. I’ve never cared about what I look like for anyone else, but now I want to run and hide, until I can at least get some makeup on and do something with my hair. Cole Miller is turning me into a damn—girl.
He leans back, wipes his mouth, and says, “Best meal of my life.”
I pull him up to me and kiss him full on the lips, and I can taste myself on his mouth.
When we part ways, he stares right at me.
“I meant what I said last night. I wasn’t caught up in the moment. I love you.”
I nod. “I know. I love you too.”
“Good.” He stands up and walks off as I eat some of my toast.
I don’t think I’ll ever experience breakfast the same again after that.
“I have something for you. A gift.”
“You already gave me plenty last night and this morning.”
He turns around and his fist is closed around something. “I mean it. I want to give something to you. Hold out your hand.”
I do what he says, and he walks over and places something metallic in my palm. Slowly, he slides his hand back and there’s a key.
“I’m not asking you to move in or anything crazy like that. I know this is all happening fast. I just want you to have a key to my place. Is that okay?”
My heart might thump itself right out of my chest. I seriously don’t know how he makes me so damn—happy. He’s just perfect, in the most imperfect of ways. He’s perfect for me. It’s also not lost on me he didn’t have time to go have a key made this morning. Which means he’s had it since at least yesterday afternoon, before the incident at the club. I want to kiss him even more now.
I nod. “Yeah, it’s fine. Thank you.”
He holds his arms out. “That’s it?”
I die laughing and yank him against me and kiss him full on the lips. “It was perfect. The morning was perfect. Thank you.”
He grins. “Yeah, I am pretty perfect.”
I smack him in the chest and push him away. “Be gone. Get ready for work. I need to finish my breakfast. It’s hard to eat when, yeah, you know.”
He waggles his eyebrows. “I’m sure it is.” He stops and pauses for a second. “I want to ask you something.”
“Okay.”
“Would you have dinner at my house tonight? With me and my mom? At seven?”
I shake my head. “Cole, I don’t know if it’s…”
“Please? I want to figure some things out, maybe set some boundaries. I really have been think
ing about stuff.”
I stare at him for a long few seconds. It’ll be awkward, but I can’t imagine telling him no. I don’t think I could tell him no about anything. I want to be there for him if he wants me to be. “Okay. If you want me to, I’ll be there.”
“Thank you.”
I watch him walk the entire way to my bedroom, the way his ass moves and his legs flex as he struts off. He looks like he’s strutting, but I think his chest is just so broad it forces him to walk that way.
I look down at the key in my hand and I can’t stop staring at it. Yeah, things are moving fast, but it just feels so right. His mom worries me a little, but it is what it is. No relationship cruises along without hiccups and trials. He’d be there for me if roles were reversed. I know he would. Maybe nothing will go wrong and everything will play out just fine. How could it not? We love each other.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Cole Miller
I stop by the Team Miller gym on the way to the office, like I do most mornings. Pedro and Bill should be in here by themselves. Classes don’t start until later in the day. It’s when Pedro trains best anyway, in the mornings.
When I walk in, he’s punching a bag.
I head in his direction. “Getting ready?”
He doesn’t even look at me. He’s one hundred percent focused on his drills. “Gonna destroy that pussy.”
“What I like to hear.” I mumble, “Already did that this morning myself.” I laugh at my little inside joke and keep walking. Pedro’s in the zone, has tunnel vision, and you don’t fuck with an athlete in the zone. Mental preparation and focus wins fights.
I head back toward the office to see Bill.
When I get back there, he’s sitting down looking at some paperwork with his feet up on the desk. I knock lightly on the door and he looks up.
His feet immediately come down and he straightens up. “What’s wrong?”
I stop in my tracks, freeze, and my eyes open a little wider. “What do you mean what’s wrong?”
He shakes his head. “You never knock. Which means you’re apprehensive about something. I know you. Come in, sit down.”
I sigh and walk over and have a seat. Talking about real shit has never been our thing, but I mean, he’s as close to a parent as I’ve ever had. It’s awkward for both of us because I was already pretty old when he took me in. I mean, I was about nine, but that’s nine years of being hardened by my surroundings. He never tried to be my father or acted like a dad, but it didn’t stop me from looking to him to fill that role.
Bill is one thing at heart; a trainer. A man who trains fighters. That’s how I grew up. He didn’t let me make excuses, but we didn’t hug and talk about much. He had the sex talk with me once, but that was long after I’d been sexually active. The talk stemmed from me gaining a lot of publicity, and he didn’t want to see me fuck up my career.
“Look, I know we don’t…”
He nods like he can read my mind. “I know, but I want to be here for you if you need something, kid.”
I sigh. “Thanks. It’s just, my mom showed up a while back. At my place.”
He leans in, like his curiosity is suddenly piqued. “She did?”
I nod lightly. “Yeah.”
“Wow, that’s gotta be…” He pauses. “Hell, I don’t know. I really have no clue.”
“Yeah. Me either.”
He squirms in his seat a little, adjusting himself. “I know I’m not the best at this type of thing—”
I cut him off. “It’s okay. I just didn’t really know… I don’t know, I’m not sure why I told you. I’m just a little—”
“Confused?”
“Exactly.”
“Cole, I’m not a therapist. I’ve never been married because I didn’t know how to do that. I never had kids because I don’t know how to do that either. You just came into my life and I didn’t know what the hell I was doing, you know? I adopted you to get you out of those fucking houses, because you hated it. But I never acted like a dad. I let you do whatever you wanted, as long as you weren’t hurting anyone or getting in trouble, I just turned and looked the other way.”
I nod and lower my head a little. “I know.”
“You’re the best thing that ever happened to me, though.”
I glance up. “What?”
He stands up, walks around the desk and leans back on it in front of me. “All the fighters, all the championships, that’s what I’m good at. But the thing that gave me the most fulfillment, made me feel like a person, like I mattered… It’s you, okay?”
He’s never said anything like this to me before. My mind just goes haywire and it’s impossible to even process information right now. I had no idea he felt that way. I mean, I know we’re close, but it’s always just been a fighter and trainer relationship. Then, when I found Pedro, it’s like we shared that experience too, and I related to him a little more.
“I’m sure I made a lot of mistakes and I wasn’t there for you in ways I should’ve been. As long as the police weren’t calling, I figured you were doing fine. I mean, you went to school like I asked you to do. You always did everything I asked.”
“That’s okay, I never cared about that, the mistakes or that you weren’t a real dad, in a conventional sense. You were still my accountability, though. You saved my life.”
“You saved mine too, kid. So, I can try to talk about this stuff with you. I just don’t know if I’m any good at it. But I’ll try, for you. So, tell me I guess, you know, what happened?”
“She showed up at my door a while back, seemingly out of nowhere. And we just talked. She didn’t ask for anything, didn’t want anything. She looked confused.”
He folds his arms over his chest. “Sounds kind of odd.”
I nod. “I know. That’s what gets me. But after that, she left, and I didn’t see her for a while. Then, the other day I saw her walking down the street. She’s staying at a shelter up the road from me. So, I just pulled over. She had a bag of shit from the grocery store, looked like she’s barely hanging on, living rough, you know?”
“Yeah, I was there at a time in my life too.”
I shrug. “Yeah, both of us were at one time or another and I hate to see people living like that. Especially when it’s my biological mom, and I have more than I’ll ever need. So I told her she could stay at my place a while. She tried to refuse, and I told her it was okay, I didn’t give a shit. It’s just a house or money or whatever. So yeah, that was yesterday and now she’s there. I haven’t been home since. I didn’t think it was a big deal, but Harlow acted like it was, or is, or whatever.”
He takes a deep breath and crosses one leg over the other, staring up at the wall like he’s thinking. “Well, it might not be a big deal with the money or whatever, but it sounds like mentally there could be some shit there. You should think about how you feel about that. Talk to someone about it, maybe.”
“That’s what Harlow said too.”
He nods. “That girl is sharp. See, she knows that even if you don’t care about the money or the apartment, you might just care if she lets you down again somehow. She’s done it before, granted it was a long time ago and maybe she’s changed. But you don’t know her, and you might care if she does that, and you don’t even realize it. Those things hide deep inside us and don’t show their faces, but when they do, we don’t know how we’ll react.”
I nod. “Okay.”
He blows out a breath. “Whew, that was heavy.”
“Yeah, sorry for hitting you with that.”
“It’s no problem. We fuck around in here, but I always have time for you. You know that, right? Even when you piss me off so bad I see red, you got me, kid. You always will and don’t forget that.”
I stand up. It feels like we should hug, but we never do that shit. “Thanks. I mean that. I’d do anything for you and Pedro. Anything.”
Maybe they’re both right. Maybe it was a little quick to let a woman I don’t even know stay at my house
. Yeah, they’re definitely right. I just want to do the right thing. I don’t want to hold onto a bunch of hate. It’s not my style. I forgave my mom in my mind a long time ago. If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have been able to get by every day.
I think they’re onto something, though. There was something there, when she adjusted my tie and brushed my shoulders off. I felt something, like it was bubbling up to the surface. Something I’d never felt before.
I need to have a talk with her. Set some terms on us being reunited.
I walk into the my corporate offices in the Willis Tower and employees scatter, pretending to look busy, like they always do. It always shocks me, and I think it’s just a human response thing, built into our brains because I’m about as laid back as a boss can be. As long as your work gets done, I don’t give a shit how you do it.
I head back to Marcy’s new office. She started at the company a month or two ago and it’s been going great. Dex thought I was out of my mind hiring her, because she sued my company. One of my employees took a picture of her at Curve and body-shamed her all over Facebook. I fired the woman immediately, but Marcy took us to court to bring media attention to the problem, not necessarily that it happened in my gym. If I’m being honest, she has absolutely brilliant ideas about programs for Curve. Hiring her is one of the best things I’ve ever done. She knows what it’s like to be body-shamed, to try and be healthy when you don’t fit the fitness magazine mold, and those are the women I want to help at my gyms.
I walk into her office. “Hey.”
She looks up from her desk. “Hey!”
“How’s everything going with the new rollouts?”
We’re starting a test program in a pilot gym. We block off two hours a day for beginners only to come in. A lot of women are intimidated when they don’t know how to use the machines, don’t know proper techniques, see abs and sports bras everywhere, or they can’t afford a trainer. During these two hours, women of all shapes, colors, and sizes, can come in, get free tutorials from staff, free trainer advice. Basically, we can give them a space and a block of time where they can get the help they need to jump start their fitness, get personal workout plans and nutrition advice developed specifically to their needs.
