by Sweet, Dell
He nodded.
“Any dead... At night? In here when you got here?”
“One... Took himself out in the office.” He motioned through the glass. “Put him outside. Turned black in the sun in a day or so.” He stopped and cleared his throat, left and came back with a Coke for each of them. “None of the others. Not one. Nights are quiet... Truck runs good. I gassed it up, swapped better tires onto it too from the rack in the garage. Pretty easy to do. Extra gas cans, oil, a bunch of those blankets.” He paused for a second.
“You look... Clean.” She had looked down a few seconds before at her gore stained bra and jeans. She'd been in these clothes far too long.
“Shower in the back. Hot water too once I got the electric on.”
“De veras, and I am sitting here talking?” She stood from the chair, found her stomach did not intend to give her a hard time and turned to Johnny. “Clothes?”
“Sure... I... I don't know if...” He turned red.
“Yeah,” Lana said. She laughed. “No bra, panties?”
“Right,” Johnny agreed.
“Well I don't care if it is boxers, a t-shirt and a pair of jeans. Clean clothes, Johnny” She looked around her... “Soap... A towel... That is it. Where is it?”
“Um. Right here,” Johnny said as he stepped to the door and pushed it open for her.
Johnny returned to the lunch room a few moments later and cleaned up the blankets and empty cups while he waited.
September 28th
Johnny angled the truck off into a grassy median they had been traveling along Arizona 188, and followed a dirt road into the forested park area. About a half mile in they came to a wide calm lake. The area was completely deserted. No cars, no trucks, and only a few rustic buildings close by the water. A quick search confirmed the buildings were empty. They worked together to gather some dead-fall to build a small fire.
Lana piled the dry wood next to a large stone fireplace, and Johnny carefully arranged some wood inside the fireplace, over some smaller twigs and crumpled pieces of paper, while Lana opened the rear of the truck and pulled out the sleeping bags, as well as some metal camp utensils they had picked up earlier when they had passed through a small town. They debated on leaving the tent, but decided to set it up instead, close to the fireplace. The buildings were dark and deserted-looking, and not the least bit inviting to either of them. The tent would not offer anywhere near as much protection as the empty buildings, but to them it was much more appealing.
Once Johnny got the fire going he began to set up the tent as Lana started dinner.
“What are you making?” Johnny asked, as he walked back to the fireplace.
A large steel pot sat directly over the metal grating of the outdoor fireplace, and the aroma from it was all he could smell as he finished setting up the tent. His stomach was growling.
“Well,” she asked, “how does it smell?”
“Pretty damn good,” Johnny replied, “in fact about the best thing I've smelled in a long time. What is it?” he asked again.
“Well, it's nothing great, beans and corned beef,” she looked at him and shrugged her shoulders as if to say, who knows? “Smells good though, huh?”
Johnny nodded his head in agreement, and said aloud. “It's got bachelor food beat, that's for sure... It's going to be a few minutes, right?” Johnny asked.
“Probably more like an hour,” she replied, “That's why I've got it off the heat, simmering. Why?”
“Well,” Johnny said, “that lake looks pretty good. I'm thinking seriously about jumping in it and washing some of this road grime off.”
Before he could say more Lana jumped up and said, “Last one in!” Johnny stood dumb founded as she raced away towards the lake.
He caught up with her next to the water, slightly out of breath, and laughing. When she started to remove her clothes, he nearly choked on the laughter though. Lana seemed not to notice, and after she had stripped down she dove gracefully into the water and swam out into the lake, toward a wooden raft that was anchored about fifty feet off shore.
Johnny got over his initial shock, stripped down and also dove into the water. The coldness of the water shocked him, but it helped in a way to. He hadn't realized just how beautiful she was, and his body had begun unconsciously to respond. The cold water ended that though, and he turned over on his back and floated as he kicked with his feet towards the raft. When he turned back over as he sensed he was nearing the raft he saw her sitting, looking back at him as he swam towards her. She smiled, and he couldn't help but smile back. Cold water or not, he thought, she is a beautiful woman.
He had guessed she must be in her late thirties when he had met her, but now he thought he might be wrong. Maybe it had been the fact that he could not recall ever seeing her smile that had contributed to his observation. Whatever it had been, he was pretty sure he was wrong. She looked like maybe she was only in her late twenties, maybe, he thought. It was more the way she looked now, he realized, that made him think she was probably a lot younger than he had initially thought.
In their old life she had been wary and tired-looking. She seemed more alive to him now though, and the smile went a long way towards smoothing out the lines that had seemed to be embedded in her forehead. He supposed that to her he must seem awful old at fifty-two.
Lana sat on the wooden surface of the small raft and watched Johnny turn back over on his back, as he continued to float towards the raft.
Everything she had depended on had fallen apart and he had seemed to be the one to go to. To open up to, to look for stability in. He had seemed like that kind of man, and he had turned out to be that sort of man. He had convinced her to open the door to herself and it had been a big deal to her. It was something she would normally never do at all, under any circumstances. Nevertheless, she had let him in. He seemed honest, she told herself, and reminded her of herself. She had started life honest anyway, it was just that she couldn't be as honest as she wanted to be, she reminded herself. Life was just that way, she had decided.
Johnny was different. She knew it was stupid, here she was entertaining what she had told him to forget, but even as the thought entered her head she reminded herself that it was only comfort she needed. It was sexual attraction. He didn't move her inside like she wanted to be moved. She wondered if she could be moved that way by any man and the thought caused her smile to slip away.
The meal was excellent. Johnny's mind was not entirely impaled upon the world and what it had become. He thought they both just wanted to be part of the whole again.
He realized, on an unconscious level, that it was even more than that. He wanted some sort of security again. Some kind of normalcy... Same old, same old, he thought. The thought made him laugh.
“What?” Lana asked.
“Well, first, this is so good. And second, I was thinking that as much as I used to hate the same old, same old of the world, I find myself wishing I had it back again. Ironic, I know.”
Lana nodded. She felt the same way. In a world that was constantly cruel to her, she had held out hope that it would not always be that way, that somehow, someday, it would all change for her. And it had, and for her this was even better than she had dreamed. She didn't have to pretend about her past, it didn't matter anymore. She didn't have to be anything, or anyone, other than who she had always wanted to be, herself, the woman that she had buried deep within her. She was happier than she could ever recall being in her entire life. It was as if she had been blind, and now through some unimaginable miracle could see. It was so much and so many feelings that it threatened to overwhelm her.
Johnny spoke as they finished eating. He had been thinking non-stop about everything that had happened in just the last few days, and he was no longer certain he wanted to risk traveling on.
“Lana?” he began, not quite sure how to proceed with what he had been thinking. “Do you want to go? I mean, do you want to go all the way across this country? It's just that, well, I
'm not as positive as I was that it has to be done, or that we should.”
She thought for only a brief second before she answered him.
“I think that we have to, Johnny. It's not a question of whether we should. We have to,” she said.
Johnny nodded. “I've changed a lot of my thinking,” Johnny told her. “I really have. I don't always pay attention, but I did when it came to you. I don't think I've ever had a friend like you. I don't want to lose that. I'm explaining it badly, I guess.” Johnny said.
“No... No you're not. I know exactly what you mean. How about some tea?” she asked.
“Tea?” he looked puzzled. “Where did you get tea from?”
She held up a small package, and said, “It was in the camping gear, a free sample package. Want some?”
“Sure,” he said, as he smiled at her, “it sounds good, actually.”
While Lana made the tea, Johnny took the small tin cups, along with the plastic bowls that had also been in the camping kit, and walked down to the water to wash them. The moon had begun to rise and a silver trail spread across the lake, seeming alive as it rode the small ripples of the water. When he finished, he stared off across the shimmering surface. It was calm and peaceful, and he listened as somewhere in the distance an owl hooted its greeting into the night. It was good to hear. He had heard little of any birds at all recently. He walked back to the fire feeling good. The night was dark, but it held no fear for him. Lana looked up from where she was stretched out beside the fire and smiled.
“Johnny, where do you want to be when this is over? I mean to live?” Johnny thought for a second and considered before he responded.
“I guess it would depend,” he said. “I don't think I would want to live in a city though. I like it here... It's peaceful. I guess someplace like this. Mountains, but this is a type of mountains I've never seen. I mean mountains like you would see in New York... Pines, Maples.”
Lana rolled over and propped herself up on one elbow next to him as she spoke.
“This place, it used to be a state park, but now it is just a nice lake. Nobody owns it anymore. It would be a good place to be... Away from the city... Build a little community here... There are thousands of places like this now... All over the country. I would like a place like this.” Lana said quietly. She removed the pot from the fire, setting it to one side so it would be there in the morning when they awoke. They crawled into the tent and were asleep within minutes.
The silvery moonlight shown down as they slept, the nearly full circle slowly traveling across the darkened sky.
SIX
Johnny
The moon is up, but there isn't much to see. I thought about eating, but the thought of eating when I know Lana is out there...
Been gone a little. This whole thing has gotten so deeply into my head. It has. I don't want you to think wrong about Lana and me. We were together. I mean we were becoming like that. I'm not going to explain it past that. Sometimes the things you want are exactly the things you didn't know you wanted and the same things you cannot get once you realize that you wanted nothing but those things all along. All through life: Before you even knew they existed.
I just read that. Think what you are going to about it. You'll understand it or you won't.
That park was like a magic place. I have to be honest, I didn't want to leave it. I could see staying there, making it work right there, but like I said, sometimes the things you want, you just can't see, and I was willing to move on too, when I'm positive now she would have stayed if only I had insisted, if only...
San Mateo Mountain range
September 29th
They awoke early to the chatter of squirrel-talk in the trees. Gray squirrels playfully leaping through the pine branches and running up and down the thick trunks, scolding as they went.
Lana set the tea to heat once she had rekindled the fire from the still glowing coals, as Johnny broke camp and quickly loaded the truck. They ate a small breakfast of the leftovers of the meal from the night before, and sipped the strong, hot tea as the sun began to slowly peek over the tops of the trees across the lake. After they rinsed the utensils in the lake, and doused the fire, they climbed into the truck and drove slowly back to the main road.
Lana had awakened feeling torn to be under way, and yet feeling a strong urge to stay: Once they regained the main road and Johnny pointed the truck north she felt better.
The going was slow, but the farther they traveled the less traffic there seemed to be, and, Johnny discovered, if they stayed on the shoulder they could make pretty good time.
Towards mid-morning they turned off onto state Route 260, and began to angle toward the New Mexico border. The going was much easier and they found that they could keep to the pavement, most of the time, which allowed them to make even better time.
Late afternoon found them in the small city of Springerville just inside the Arizona border, and Johnny drove the truck into the parking lot of a large shopping mall on the outskirts.
The mall served as an anchor for several department stores and a large grocery chain. There were several other specialty shops scattered throughout the mall. They stocked up on canned goods, as well as several packages of freeze dried meats from a sporting goods store in the mall. By the time they had finished it was late in the afternoon. They left the small city behind, and continued into New Mexico on I60. Just before nightfall they reached the Cibola National Forest and Johnny pulled the truck off onto one of the dirt roads of the park and found a place to park among the trees. He unloaded the truck and set up camp, as Lana made dinner. She experimented with canned meat along with some freeze dried food, and the result was a tasty stew-like dish.
“Where did you learn to cook, Lana?” he asked, “this is really good.”
“Oh it's just a little something I threw together,” she joked, as she blew lightly on her finger-tips.
“All I ever ate when I was by myself was fast food,” Johnny said, “I'd drive into town and there was a good selection. It all sort of tasted like cardboard after a while though. I can't believe you made this out of that stuff we picked up today.”
“I drove through that town every time I came out. How do you call tacos or burgers a good selection,” Lana joked.
Johnny laughed. “Okay, a fair selection,” he amended.
Lana laughed lightly. “Well,” she said, “I did throw in some canned meat. If you think this is good, just wait until I have some decent stuff to cook with.” Johnny bugged his eyes out comically at her, “You mean this isn't the good stuff?”
“Not even,” she joked back. They sipped at cups of hot tea as the fire crackled invitingly in front of them.
They were at the edge of the San Mateo Mountain range, and it was somewhat cooler at the higher elevation. They had both remarked though, on how much warmer it was than it should have been. Lana more so than Johnny.
September 30th
In the morning they broke camp before the sun was even up and headed out into the chill pre-morning air.
They both enjoyed the scenery as they drove along, and verbally promised that they would take their time if they returned, and stop as often as they wanted to, to look at the scenic mountains.
As they traveled, they encountered less and less stalled traffic, until the road before them opened up, totally deserted for miles at a stretch. Mid-morning brought them close to the Oklahoma border, and if they had not had to slow down and find an alternate route around the City of Clayton, they probably would have entered Oklahoma by nightfall.
The stalled traffic had returned several miles outside the city, but once they were within two miles of the city limits, it had become impassable. Even the breakdown lanes were packed full, and the traffic had forced them into the fields that flanked the highway to find a way around. Once past Clayton however, the stalled traffic had once again given way and they spent the night camped beside the highway less than twenty miles from the Oklahoma border.
Noon of the following day brought them to the outskirts of Woodward and more stalled traffic. After taking several shortcuts across open fields, they eventually came upon route 412, which, Johnny found by checking the map; they could follow most of the way across the country.
They spent that night by a quiet lake that reminded them of the one back in Arizona. They were just outside the small town of Cleo Springs Oklahoma. They were both becoming used to the traveling, and had each developed a routine they followed every night when they stopped. They had twice seen smoke off in the distance that day, as if to the east of them some great fire were burning. They had correctly guessed the reason long before they reached the fire. Someone, or something, had set the entire city to flame.
For several miles before they reached and successfully passed around and beyond the city of Enid Oklahoma, black oily smoke had hung over them in the sky. They had been forced to detour more than twenty miles to the south, running through the fields to get around the still burning city. Even from that distance they could feel the heat, and occasionally see the flames leaping into the sky.
When they stopped that evening at a small lake just off 412, the glow of the fire was still visible in the distance behind them. They were both tired and dropped off to sleep before the last vibrant colors of dusk had fully faded from the sky.
The next day they traveled steadily onward toward the distant mountains. The going was slower and they had to stop several times to move stalled vehicles out of the roadway, or take other routes that were less traveled. They kept on a roughly north east direction, rising only slightly up through the states.
They had finally been stopped by the wreckage of three cars that had collided on the Quachita river bridge on 270. The collision had taken out the concrete and the guard rail on one side of the bridge. There had been a fire after the wreck. And the heat must have been tremendous. Two of the cars were wrapped around the steel guard rail that had either broken on impact, or in the fire after that had shattered the remaining concrete that was still connected to it. Johnny managed to winch one of the cars out of the way, and together they had pushed the other two off the bridge and into the river.
