by David Rose
6 ‘A town and a parish in the East of Edinburghshire. The town stands 182 feet above sea level on a peninsula from 3 to 5 furlongs wide, between the North and South Esk’s [sic] and by roads 4¼ miles South by West of Musselburgh, and 6 miles South East of Edinburgh. The High Street widens Eastwards from 30 to 85 feet, and terminates at a gateway leading up to Dalkeith Palace, the principal seat of the Duke of Buccleuch, which palace, has centring round it all the chief episodes in Dalkeith’s history, must here be treated of before Dalkeith itself.’ From Ordnance Gazeteer of Scotland 1885.
Evel Knievel
chronology of jumps and injuries
1965
Moses Lake, Washington. In a stunt to win publicity for his motorcycle dealership, Knievel leaps off a ramp to clear two mountain lions, but lands in a box of rattlesnakes.
1966
23 January–Indio, California: National Date Festival Grounds
10 February–Barstow, California. Attempts to jump, spread-eagle, over a speeding motorcycle. Jumps too late and is hit in the groin by the motorcycle and tossed fifteen feet into the air. Hospitalised.
1 June–Post Falls, Idaho: State Line Gardens
19 June–Missoula, Montana: Missoula Auto Track. Attempts to jump twelve cars and a cargo van. Fails to reach speed required for take-off. Back wheel hits the top of the van and front wheel hits the top of the landing ramp. Suffers severely broken arm and several broken ribs.
19 August–Great Falls, Montana: Great Falls Speedway
30 October–Butte, Montana: Naranche Memorial Drag Strip
1967
5 March–Gardena, California: Ascot Park Speedway
30 May–Gardena, California: Ascot Park Speedway
28 July–Graham, Washington: Graham Speedway. Tries to clear sixteen cars in a jump. Lands on the last vehicle, a panel truck, and is thrown from the bike. Suffers serious concussion.
18 August–Graham, Washington: Graham Speedway. Attempts the same jump as 28 July. Hits the last vehicle again and crashes, breaking left wrist, right knee and two ribs.
24 September–Monroe, Washington: Evergreen Speedway
23–26 November–San Francisco, California: Civic Center
2 December–Long Beach, California: Long Beach Arena
31 December–Las Vegas, Nevada: Caesar’s Palace. Televised attempt to jump the fountain at Caesar’s Palace. Bike unexpectedly decelerates on take-off causing Knievel to land on a safety ramp supported by a van. Loses grip of handlebars and falls over them and on to the pavement, skidding into a parking lot. Suffers crushed pelvis and femur, fractures to hip, wrist and both ankles and a concussion. Lies in a coma for twenty-nine days. Leg is rebuilt with two-foot steel strip.
1968
25 May–Scottsdale, Arizona: Beeline Dragway. Crashes while attempting to jump fifteen Ford Mustang cars. Breaks right leg and foot.
3 August–Meridian, Idaho: Meridian Speedway
26 August–Spokane, Washington: Interstate Fairgrounds Speedway
7 September–Missoula, Montana: Missoula Auto Track
1, 3, 15 September–Salt Lake City, Utah: Utah State Fair
13 October–Carson City, Nevada: Tahoe-Carson Speedway. Loses control on a jump landing. Breaks hip.
1969
24–27 April–Los Angeles, California: Sports Arena
1970
23 January–Daly City, California: Cow Palace
5 April–Kent, Washington: Seattle International Raceway
19 June–Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada: Pacific Coliseum
4 July–Kent, Washington: Seattle International Raceway
16 August–Long Pond, Pennsylvania: Pocono International Raceway
12 December–Los Angeles, California: Lions Drag Strip
1971
8–9 January–Houston, Texas: Astrodome
27–28 February–Ontario, California: Ontario Motor Speedway
26–28 March–Chicago, Illinois: Chicago International Amphitheater
10 May–Yakima, Washington; Yakima Speedway. Breaks collar bone, suffers compound fracture of right arm and breaks both femurs attempting to jump thirteen delivery trucks.
8–11 July–New York City, New York: Madison Square Garden
15, 17 July–Buffalo, New York: Lancaster Speedway
29–30 July–Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania: Pocono Downs
27–28 August–Philadelphia, Pennsylvania: Spectrum
5–6 September–Agawam, Massachusetts: Riverside Park
16–18 September–Great Barrington, Massachusetts: Great Barrington Fair
25–26 September–Hutchinson, Kansas: Kansas State Fair
21 October–Portland, Oregon: Oregon Memorial Coliseum
1972
23 January–Tucson, Arizona: Tucson Dragway
11–13 February–Chicago, Illinois: Chicago International Amphitheater
2–3 March–Daly City, California: Cow Palace. Gets into fight with Hell’s Angels in the audience. Jumps successfully, but short landing space means Knievel has to try a sudden stop. He fails, is thrown and is then run over by his own bike. Breaks back and suffers concussion.
24–26 March–Detroit, Michigan: State Fairgrounds Coliseum
8–9 April–Plymouth, California: Emerson Ranch
11 June–Atlanta, Georgia: Lakewood Speedway
17–18 June–Oklahoma City, Oklahoma: Oklahoma State Fairgrounds
24–25 June–East St Louis, Illinois: St Louis International Raceway
9 July–Haubstadt, Indiana: Tri-State Speedway
16 July–Coon Rapids, Minnesota: Minnesota Dragways
30 July–Castle Rock, Colorado: Continental Divide Raceways
1–2 September–Monroe, Washington: Evergreen Speedway
1973
5–7 January–Las Vegas, Nevada: Convention Center
19–21 January–Dallas, Texas: Convention Center
18 February–Los Angeles, California: Memorial Coliseum
23–25 February–Cleveland, Ohio: Convention Center
2–4 March–Uniondale, New York: Nassau Coliseum
16–18 March–Atlanta, Georgia: Lakewood Fairgrounds Exhibit Hall
23–25 March–Chicago, Illinois: Chicago International Amphitheater
30 March–1 April–Detroit, Michigan: State Fairgrounds Coliseum
13–15 April–St Paul, Minnesota: St Paul Civic Center
27–29 April–Cincinnati, Ohio: Cincinnati Gardens
22–24 June–Union Grove, Wisconsin: Great Lakes Dragway
29 July–Providence, Rhode Island: Lincoln Downs Race Track
6–7 October–Kaukauna, Wisconsin: Wisconsin International Raceway
20 October–Philadelphia, Pennsylvania: JFK Stadium
1974
17 February–North Richland Hills, Texas: Green Valley Raceway
29 March–Portland, Oregon: Oregon Memorial Coliseum
13 April–Fremont, California: Fremont Raceway
20 April–Irvine, California: Orange County International Raceway
28 April–Kansas City, Missouri: Kansas City International Raceway
5 May–Tulsa, Oklahoma: Tulsa International Speedway
25–27 May–West Salem, Ohio: Dragway 42
20 August–Toronto, Ontario, Canada: Exhibition Stadium
8 September–Twin Falls, Idaho: Snake River Canyon. Attempts to clear canyon in purpose-built Skycycle–a normal motorcycle with two jet engines capable of producing more than 14,000 pounds’ force (62 kN) of thrust bolted onto the sides. Despite both unmanned test jumps in previous years having resulted in the Skycycle’s not reaching the other side of the canyon, Knievel goes ahead with the jump. Part way up the take-off ramp, the bike’s drogue parachute accidentally opens and the bike fails to reach the other side. As it falls, the main parachute is deployed and the wind carries the bike into the canyon wall. The bike eventually lands half-submerged in the river and Knievel is dragged out, on the same side of the canyon he jumped from, with minor injur
ies mostly caused by the G-force on take-off.
1975
31 May–London, England: Wembley Stadium. Attempts to clear thirteen buses. Crashes on landing, breaking pelvis. Is dragged a further twenty yards before the bike lands on top of him, resulting in a broken hand and a compression fracture of a vertebra. Announces retirement over a microphone and walks out of the stadium. 25 October–Kings Mills, Ohio: Kings Island
1976
11 October–Worcester, Massachusetts; Fitton Field
29–30 October–Seattle, Washington: Kingdome
1977
31 January–Chicago, Illinois: Chicago International Amphitheater. During a practice run for a televised special on stuntmen, falls while trying to jump a tank of live sharks. Breaks both arms and collar bone. A cameraman is also injured and loses an eye.
1979
21 February–Orange, New South Wales, Australia: Towac Park
23 February–Wollongong, New South Wales, Australia: Showgrounds
24 February–Sydney, New South Wales, Australia: RAS Showground
26 February–Wagga Wagga, New South Wales, Australia: Eric Weissel Oval
1980
March–Puerto Rican tour
4 October–Pontiac, Michigan: Silverdome
1981
31 January–1 February–St Petersburg, Florida: Sunshine Speedway
1 March–Hollywood, Florida: Miami-Hollywood Speedway
1993
Diagnosed with hepatitis C, contracted as a result of one of his many blood transfusions.
1998
January–Falls near a bunker playing golf and has to have a hip replacement.
July–Slips in a Jacuzzi. Breaks rib.
Index
A
Antilles, Wedge
Australian National University
B
Bachman-Turner Overdrive
Barnes, Julian
beetle-sized horses
Bellow, Saul
Björk
Black Sabbath
Bush, Kate
Buxton, Laura
C
canasta
cats
and coal-mining
and darkness
bionically improved
Das allgemeine Brouillon and
make love like
Clifton, Bernie
clowns
D
Dalkeith
Death Star
denotational semantics
E
Eno, Brian
evening primrose oil
Evil Dragon Lady
F
Falcon Crest
Freire, Paulo
G
Goombay Dance Band
Grange Hill
H
‘hoosler’
I
Iron Butterfly
J
Jacques, Hattie
K
Kaufman, Gerald
Kerplunk
King Crimson
Knievel, Evel
Koala-Men of Graaaxxux-9
kung fu
L
lanolin sensitivity
lawyers
defence
impotent revenge fantasies
in ice-cream
in mediation
junior
Libran
prosecuting
sponsorship
vacations
‘ledgtentrible’
Leg Worry Trumpet
lithium
M
Malone, Jimmy ‘Knuckles’
Mary of Agreda
mother
Adonis-like superbrain
and bluestocking NAAFI types
apologising to
Christmas morning with
class odour
cry with grief
Das allgemeine Brouillon and
dead
Flemish biologist
guestbook
impressed by table dancing
inherited aspects from
lazy eye
living with
love of face
Quentin
same name as
sleep-talking about
wearing clothes of
zoologist
N
Navy, Army and Air Force Institutes
P
Phantom Zone
polkas
Prince Albert
psychic tentacles
R
Reynolds, Burt
S
Savlon
sea bass
sherbet
Shrek
skinny mocha latte
slippers
space cakes
Spallanzani, Lazzaro
sperm count
Sphenodon punctatus
spork
Spudulike
Sutherland, John
T
Tarkin, Grand Moff
U
‘ungrateful turd’
V
Villechaize, Hervé
W
Webster, Miss
Y
Yoda
