by Fleur Beale
I should leave it all. It was his job. But if I didn’t do it now, I’d have to do it when I got home. I washed the dishes.
Then I asked Max to come and dry them. ‘Be right there,’ he said.
Like that was going to happen. Slacker.
I left them on the bench.
As Davey and I left the house, I shouted, ‘Max! We’re going now. Lock up. And don’t forget to dry the dishes.’
I shut the door in the middle of his answer. Davey and I walked to his school, four blocks from home. ‘Have a good day, buddy.’ I watched him run inside to dump his bag.
I biked to Tia’s house. She’d gone. Mrs Manu said, ‘She left a message, Ruby. But if she wants to say those things to you, she can do it herself.’ She smiled at me. ‘She’d better get over herself before next week. She’s going to buy a new top to …’
I held up a hand. ‘Don’t tell me! It’s the school tour from Brazil, isn’t it? She wants to wow all those hot boys!’
Mrs Manu laughed. ‘Right first time. But she’ll get something awful if you’re not with her.’
I smiled. Mrs Manu was great. So was Tia. Usually.
I biked to school by myself. I hated her being mad at me.
When I went into our form room, she turned her back. She was with Carly and Megan. That was tricky. All four of us were friends. I sat by myself. If Tia wouldn’t talk to me, I couldn’t talk to the others either.
Carly looked over at me, turned back to Tia and asked her a question. Tia shrugged her shoulders and said something I couldn’t hear. Carly and Megan glanced at me. They looked upset.
Mr Wood breezed in before they could come over. ‘Okay, troops. Let’s start the week. Who’s here and who’s not.’ He picked up the roll book. The list of girls started with Miriama Api. Megan Chapman was next. Carly Griffiths was five names further down. Tia Manu was in the middle. Ruby Yarrow was the girl at the end of the alphabet.
I wouldn’t mind so much, except that every teacher always called the names the same way: Miriama … Megan … Carly … Tia … and Ruby Yarrow.
I was the lucky one who got the and plus both names. I always hoped that one day there would be a new girl called Zoe Zimmerman.
I could ask him not to say both my names.
No. I couldn’t! I just couldn’t.
Did Tia mean it when she said she wouldn’t talk to me until I got some backbone? Would telling Mr Wood about my name mean I had backbone? I shook my head. No, and it didn’t really matter. Not really. Backbone was for important stuff.
Tia walked right past me out of the room. She didn’t even look at me. Carly and Megan let her go. Megan said, ‘She’s in a snot with you, Ruby.’
I pulled a face. ‘I know. I’m sorry. I don’t want to drag you two into it.’
Carly said, ‘She’ll get over it. She’s so busy with kapa haka we won’t see much of her anyway.’
‘They won’t practise so much after the Brazil visit,’ Megan warned. ‘That gives her a couple of weeks to get over herself.’
Thirty kids from Brazil were coming in mid-March. Tia would be part of the welcome and Mr Tahu, their new kapa haka teacher, wasn’t happy with the standard. He worked them hard.
Before we went into English, Megan said, ‘Are you two going to apply for Brazil?’
Carly shook her head. ‘Nah. They don’t speak English.’
‘Ruby?’
I shook my head. ‘No point. They wouldn’t choose me.’
Megan stepped out of the way of other kids busting to get to class. ‘But would you? If you thought you had a chance?’
I shrugged. ‘We haven’t got four thousand dollars.’
Carly shook her finger at me. ‘Ruby Yarrow! Didn’t you listen? That’s why they make us apply a year before we go. To earn the money.’
I laughed. ‘Okay! A month in Brazil?’ I thought of getting away from my family, from Tia, from people who didn’t know I couldn’t read or write properly — for a whole month. ‘Yes, I’d apply.’
Megan clapped her hands. ‘Fantastic! I want to, but I don’t want to if nobody else does.’
I opened my mouth. Carly slapped her hand over it. ‘Too late! You said you would, so you’ve got to.’
I pulled her hand away and laughed. ‘All right. I’ll apply.’ Anything to help out a mate.
Mr Wood handed out the application forms after lunch. I took one. Tia was busy making sure she didn’t look at me. She didn’t notice.
She hadn’t spoken to me all day.
Chapter Four
I left straight after school to pick Davey up. I watched while he showed me how he could slide down the fireman’s pole. We walked out the gate, and found a little kid on the footpath.
‘That’s Cat,’ Davey said. ‘Are you waiting for your mum, Cat?’
‘Not here.’ Cat stamped a foot. ‘I want go home.’
I knelt down beside her. ‘Would you like us to stay till she comes?’
She looked hard at me without saying anything.
‘That’s my sister,’ Davey said. ‘She’s Ruby.’
‘Ruby,’ Cat repeated. She smiled. ‘Okay, Ruby.’
Davey wanted to go back and play, but Cat shook her head. ‘Stay here.’
We stayed. I sat between them and they leaned against me. ‘Story,’ said Cat. ‘Please.’
‘The three little pigs,’ Davey said. ‘But don’t kill them. I like pigs.’
I told the story without killing any of the pigs. ‘Again,’ said Cat. We got to the second pig building his house of straw, and then a car pulled up.
Cat jumped up. ‘Mama!’
Her mother leapt out of the car and grabbed her up in a hug. She held Cat tight, smiled at me and said, ‘Thank you.’
‘You’re welcome.’ Davey and I stood up, I picked up my bike and we went on our way.
I chatted to him with one part of my mind. With the other part, I was wondering if Tia would say I shouldn’t have stayed with Cat. Should I have found a teacher to look after her?
I hadn’t had to do anything hard, or dangerous. It was no big deal.
Just like asking Mr W not to say and Ruby Yarrow wasn’t a big deal.
I unlocked the door. To hell with you, Tia Manu!
Max hadn’t dried the dishes.
I made Davey a snack and wondered what to do. A doormat would put those dishes away.
Just like a doormat wouldn’t say anything to Mr Wood about her name.
‘Bugger you, Tia Manu!’ I yelled.
Poor Davey stared at me as if I’d gone mad. I grinned at him. ‘It’s okay, Davey — it’s just something Tia said to me.’
He ran over and threw his arms around my waist. ‘Can we play with the hose?’
We put on our togs and messed around with the hose. It was called watering the garden. We had the best watered lawn in the street.
Mum rang about four. ‘How was your day, darling? Can you do the spuds and make a salad? I’ve got sausages. We’ll have a barbie.’
Max blew in just before Calvin got home. He raided the cupboards and left cheese, crackers and crumbs all over the bench.
I just said, ‘Max — clean up your mess. And do the dishes you said you’d do this morning.’
He waved a hand at me, nodded and vanished into his big, quiet room.
I didn’t know about getting backbone, but I sure was getting mad.
Ten minutes later, at five o’clock, Calvin got home with Theo. We had the barbie ready to go by the time Mum got back at six.
Calvin started cooking the sausages. Mum sat down and smiled at me. ‘Bless you, Ruby. Thanks for doing the dinner.’
I smiled back. ‘No prob, Mum.’ I took a deep breath. My backbone felt non-existent, but I would try. ‘Mum — can you get Max out here? There’s some stuff I want to say.’
Mum’s eyebrows rose. Calvin gave me a weird sort of look, and a tiny nod. I wished Mum would let him discipline us. But she said she had to be the one to do it. She said Calvin had come
into our lives when we were too old for him to be like our real father. We didn’t remember our real father. He was somewhere in Australia, we thought.
Mum shouted, ‘Max! Come here, please.’
‘He’ll say: Be right there,’ I said. ‘And he won’t show till it’s time to eat.’
Mum stared at me. ‘Ruby! That’s not like you.’
‘Be right there!’
I leaned towards Mum. ‘See? He does it all the time. Please, Mum — get him out here.’
Mum sighed. She got up and plodded into the house.
Calvin smiled at me. ‘Good for you, Ruby. I’ll help all I can.’
That nearly made me cry.
Mum didn’t come back for ages. A surprised Max followed her.
Calvin turned the sausages. Davey and Theo sat on high stools and told him which ones were done.
I took a deep breath. Why should I be so shaky? This was my family. They shouldn’t walk all over me.
You shouldn’t let them.
Bloody Tia again. Get out of my head.
I stood up. ‘Max — you left all the work to me this morning. You always do. And I’ve always done yours. It was easier. But today, I didn’t do it. The dishes are still on the bench. The mess you made when you got home is still on the bench. You need to fix it all. Now.’
He laughed. ‘Is that all? I thought something important had happened.’
That was the prod I needed to say the next bit. Stupid Max! He shouldn’t have laughed at me.
‘No,’ I said. ‘It isn’t. The other bit is this. The boys and I are going to have the big room. You can have the small one.’
He waved a hand to shush me. ‘Not an option, Ruby. The big one is mine. End of discussion.’
I shrugged. ‘Okay. In that case, we’ll move their beds back into your big room. Suit yourself.’
He smiled at Mum. It was the smile of somebody clever who was smiling about somebody dumb and stupid. ‘That’s not reasonable. I need to be able to do my homework.’
Davey slid off his stool and ran to me. ‘I want Ruby! Max is mean.’
‘Ruby! Ruby!’ Theo chanted.
Mum pushed at her hair. ‘Uh, I’ll think about it, Ruby.’
I felt sick. I’ll think about it meant nothing would change.
Max looked at his watch. He acted like this was a total waste of his valuable time.
Calvin stood with the tongs in the air. He didn’t look at the sausages. He looked at me, then at Mum. ‘Tessie, I’m going to say what I think.’ He waved the tongs at her. ‘Yes, I know — this is between you, Max and Ruby. But I want to say this: Ruby is right. She’s done a huge thing in agreeing to have the boys in with her. It’s totally wrong and unfair that all three of them are crammed into that little room.’
Mum got all snippy. Her voice was cold and cross. ‘Thank you, Calvin. But I’ll handle my own children. I’ve said I’ll think about it, and I will.’ She turned to me. ‘Happy?’
I managed to shake my head. ‘No. I know what’ll happen. It’s what always happens — nothing.’ I gulped. ‘There’s three of us. We should have the big room. I haven’t even got room …’ I gave up because I was crying. I ran back into the house. I didn’t have a room any more. I rushed out the back door, grabbed my bike and took off. It wasn’t fair. There they were, Max and Mum, stuffing their faces with the food I’d got ready and she’d be listening to bloody Max being all reasonable. He’d say that change was always hard. He’d say I’d settle down. He’d tell her not to worry. The worst thing was — she always fell for it.
I rode to the park, found a bench and sat down.
I wiped my face and blew my nose. What could I do? How could I make her see? Max would talk her round every time. It was nice what Calvin had said, though. It wouldn’t help, but it was nice.
I could go on strike.
I gasped. Could I? That would make things so hard for Mum. I sat and thought about it for ages.
I rode home. I had a plan. I hoped I had the guts — the backbone — to stick to it. If I didn’t, the three of us would be jammed up in the little room forever.
Calvin was bathing the kids when I got home. Mum was folding washing and she had the ironing board set up. Max was in his room with the door shut.
I waited till the kids were in bed and Mum and Calvin were both in the lounge. Calvin was watching telly and Mum was doing the ironing. ‘Mum — what did you decide?’
Calvin turned the telly off.
Mum frowned and used her snippy voice. ‘I’m thinking about it, Ruby. Max is being very reasonable.’
I just bet he is. ‘When will you decide?’
She pushed her hands through her hair. ‘Don’t nag, Ruby! Soon.’
‘Please sit down, Mum,’ I said. I was shaking. I felt sick. It wouldn’t matter if I was because I hadn’t eaten any dinner.
She sighed, looked at the ironing and sat.
I’d worked out what to say. I said it. I ended with, ‘So that’s why we need the big room. I want to swap over.’
Mum shook her head. ‘No, Ruby. I’ve told you I’ll think about it. Stop going on and on.’
Calvin said, ‘Tessie, I’ll say it again: Ruby is right. I’ll do the swap right now.’
‘Calvin! Butt out,’ Mum snapped.
He shut his mouth in a tight line. He kept his eyes on her face. She glared back. I didn’t want them fighting about me.
I pushed my fists into my gut but it didn’t stop the sick feeling. I couldn’t help saying more. It was as if the thoughts had been in my head forever and wouldn’t stay there any longer. ‘It means Max will get his own way. He always does.’ I swallowed. ‘This isn’t fair, and you know it’s not.’
I stopped. Mum rubbed her head and said wearily, ‘Give over, Ruby. I don’t need this!’
Max had won, again. I couldn’t go on strike — the kids would get upset, Mum would get stressed. Calvin would support me, but that would make him and Mum fight.
I walked out and went to my room. The boys were asleep. They looked like little angels. They’d probably grow up to be just like Max. I’d be running after the three of them forever.
No, I bloody would not.
I went back to the lounge. Mum hadn’t gone back to the ironing. She was glaring at Calvin. He was frowning at her.
‘Mum? You need to hear this!’ I was shouting, but I didn’t care. ‘I’m going on strike.’
Calvin’s shoulders relaxed. He said, ‘Good for you, Ruby. Good for you!’
I kept shouting. ‘I’m not going to help out until I get the room we should have. Or until the boys go back into Max’s room. I don’t care. But things are not staying like they are now.’
Mum glared at me instead of at Calvin. ‘Don’t be stupid, Ruby. You can’t go on strike. We’re a family.’
‘No. We’re not.’ Tears blurred my eyes. I swiped them away. ‘I’m the slave around here. I take Davey to school. I pick him up. I look after him when we get home. I get the dinner ready. I do the dishes.’ She stared at me, stunned. I never shouted. I should do it more often. ‘I’ll tell you what Max does. Nothing. You let him get away with it. You give him the best room. You listen to him. But you never listen to me,’ I yelled. ‘So I’m going on strike.’
I left the room. It was too early to go to bed, but I did anyway. If I still had my work table, I’d make a poster for Tia to show her what sort of top she should buy. But my magazines were out in the garage. So was the table and all my sewing gear.
I could fill in the Brazil form.
I crawled to the end of my bed. My bag hung on the hook behind the door. I reached it without putting a foot on the floor.
I sat there and read the form. It took me half an hour.
I filled it in. That took an hour.
I still hadn’t done the hard part. They said to write a hundred words about why we wanted to go to Brazil.
It was late by the time I’d done that. I counted the words. There were eleven.
I s
et the alarm on my phone for 6.45.
Chapter Five
I knew I’d give in unless I did something different in the morning. When my alarm went, I got up before the boys woke up. I wanted to go back to sleep. It was hard getting up, but I did it.
Calvin was in the kitchen finishing his breakfast. He stood up and hugged me. ‘Don’t give in, Ruby. It’ll be hard for a day or two. But don’t give in. You hear me?’
I sniffed and nodded. ‘Thanks, Calvin.’
I put bread in the toaster. I was hungry. I hadn’t eaten anything last night.
Mum came in.
Before she could ask why I was up so early, I said, ‘Mum — what’s happening about the rooms?’
She frowned. ‘Leave it, Ruby. Things will work out.’
I headed for the door.
‘Where are you going? Don’t be long, darling. You know how much I rely on you in the mornings.’
Yeah, and evenings, days, nights as well. She was smiling at me — as if telling me that was giving me a present.
‘I do know, Mum. Thanks for saying it, though. But get Max to help. I’m on strike. Bye.’ I left but I saw her mouth hanging open in surprise.
I went to Tia’s. I hoped her mum would feed me. I was starving. And shaky.
I forgot Tia wasn’t talking to me. I hammered on the door.
She opened it, went to slam it, but she saw my face. ‘Hey! What’s up? You’re a mess!’ She dragged me inside.
‘I’m hungry,’ I sobbed. ‘And I’ve got the worst family in the world.’
‘Mum!’ Tia bellowed.
They were great. Mrs Manu cooked me a feed while I told them what had happened. ‘And I’m scared that Calvin will tell Mum off and they’ll fight and he’ll leave.’
Tia stared at me. ‘Wow! Ruby — that’s heavy. I’m sorry — should have kept my big mouth shut.’
I banged my fist on the table. ‘No! I’m glad you yelled at me. I’m sick of being a doormat.’ I wiped away yet more tears. ‘I just didn’t know how hard it would be to stop.’
Mrs Manu set a plate of scrambled eggs in front of me. ‘Eat. Things never look so bad when you’ve got a full stomach.’
Tia said, ‘But Mum — what can she do? It’s awful the way she has to do all the work.’
