* * *
Her best friends actually caused her more trouble than all the mindless gossips.
“I think he was horrible to you.” Gita hugged a pillow in front of her, as if for protection. “Surely he didn’t beat you in his tent, where no one could see.”
Aleria passed a weary hand across her brow. She had no joy in telling this part of the story, first to Mito, now all over again to the Twins. “Yes he did. He said everyone could hear. He also said I needed a fresh bruise. So, on the seventh day, he hit me again. He said it wouldn’t hurt too much, but it did.”
“And he made you do all his camp chores for him?”
“He did. All the women did camp work. His clothes were filthy and he made me clean them. He made me cook and set up the tent and carry everything when we moved. And if I did anything wrong, he cuffed me and swore at me and threatened me with all sorts of things. Then he would laugh, and all those horrible men around would laugh, too.”
“That was terrible. Did he really have to treat you that badly?”
“He said he did. He said the others wouldn’t suspect him and they would leave me alone. Well, at least he was right about that. No one spoke to me at all. One man bothered me, and he beat him.”
“Beat him?”
“Yes. He was absolutely cold and deadly, and he hit him again and again. He was just a little, ragged fellow, and he didn’t have a chance. I saw him the next day and his eyes were so swollen he could hardly see.”
“He sounds like a terrible man.”
Mito shook her head. “I don’t know. He’s a duke’s son. He can’t be that bad.”
Aleria’s head came up. “Maybe at court he’s smooth as silk. I’ve only seen him at his worst, and believe me, he was pretty bad.”
“But it was all pretend, you said.”
She shook her head. “That’s what he told me. But how could it have been? He lived with those men for weeks. He ate with them, hunted with them, fought with them, raided towns. He might have even killed people. I wonder how much he was different from them, deep down inside.”
Hana leaned forward. “So all the time he was treating you so badly, do you think he was enjoying it?”
“I don’t know. Maybe.”
“I bet he was. I bet deep down inside he has a mean streak and this was just an excuse to let it out.”
“I don’t know. It could be. I tell you he certainly blended in with that bunch of renegades.”
“Some duke’s son!”
“Some gentleman.”
Mito looked worried. “But he saved you.”
“Huh! He did. And I have to be grateful for that. But you would think if he had any sensitivity he could have protected me a bit better.”
Mito seemed unconvinced. “I suppose so.”
Hana turned away. “You know Mito. Always seeing the good in everybody. I think he’s just a pervert who gets his kicks by being mean to women.”
“Hana! I hope you won’t go around saying that in public!” Mito paused in dismay as the other three stared at her, surprised by this unusual outburst. “Well, it would be a poor way for Aleria to pay him back for saving her. Spreading horrible stories about him.”
Hana was unrepentant. “But look how he treated her. He deserves it.”
Aleria had a moment’s qualm. “Mito is right. We shouldn’t spread it around. That would just be vicious gossip.”
Gita came to her sister’s defence. “But what about some poor girl who is going to marry him, not knowing about his perversion?”
“Gita, we don’t know he has a perversion.”
“As far as I’m concerned, if someone gave me nightmares, I can’t see I’d owe him too much. Except maybe a knife between the ribs if he got anywhere near me.”
The others burst in to laughter. “Gita, you bloodthirsty little thing!”
The smaller girl grinned. “Oh, I’m dangerous, all right. Don’t cross me!”
The conversation dissolved into laughter and lighter topics, but it left Aleria with something to think about. Now that she considered, Raif had been very rough with her right from the start. He had hit her several times and made fun of her, made her life miserable. Taken advantage of the fact that she was scared stiff to bully her. But he was a Duke’s son and a hero. She would have to be very careful what she said or did about him in the future.
21. And of Course, Her Parents
She had another conversation that she was sort of looking forward to, but with some trepidation. It was difficult to raise the subject, but her mother solved it for her one day as they were working together in the kitchen. Aleria thought that Leniema was concentrating on rolling out pastry, but then her mother spoke without looking up.
“Your father thinks you’re no longer a virgin.”
Aleria could only stare. “Mother, I never told him that! I couldn’t!”
“Quite right. There are certain things best left unsaid between a father and daughter, no matter how close they are. But that doesn’t mean he’s naive. In fact, he’s one of the most intelligent men in the realm.”
“I know that, mother. I just didn’t want to hurt his feelings.”
Leniema nodded. “So he was right. Are you happy?”
Aleria thought back to the tent, and the feel of Shen’s body against hers. “Oh yes, mother. It was wonderful!”
Her mother’s eyebrows rose. “Wonderful, was it? You’ve been a lucky girl, I suspect. Are you going to tell me about the young man?”
Aleria dropped her eyes. “You’re going to think I’m horrible, but I don’t know that much. We met on the road, travelled together for two days. He was carrying messages for his father, something to do with his business.”
“So his family are merchants?”
She shrugged. “I guess so. It didn’t seem important at the time.”
Her mother laughed and reached out to Aleria. “I don’t imagine it did.” Taking her daughter by the shoulders, she held her at arms length. “Tell me about him. What is he like?”
“Well, he’s quite tall, and very slim, and handsome. No, he’s not handsome. His face is too craggy, and he has a crooked smile. A beautiful crooked smile.” She looked up at her mother. “He was wonderful to me, Mother. He took care of me and was considerate. He gave me plenty of chances to back out. At the very end when he found out it was my first time, he still said we could stop.”
“When he knew very well you wouldn’t.”
“I suppose so, but it was sweet of him to offer, wasn’t it?”
“Very. Now, I won’t pry for all the details. I think there are some things that should be kept to ourselves. The important thing to consider is what are you going to do about him?”
Aleria looked at her mother. “I don’t know, Mama. When we were out in the forest together everything was so simple and right. Now, back in the city with everyone around, it all seems so complicated. I have to see him again. That’s certain. But how? I can’t very well invite him here for a little visit, can I? You know, if he’s a merchant’s son, everyone will laugh at us and be mean to him. I’m a little young to be keeping a lover, don’t you think?”
Her mother looked horrified. “I should think so! You know I don’t approve of people of our class carrying on like that, no matter how old they are.”
“I know, Mother. I was just joking. But you see the difficulties.”
“I probably see more difficulties than you do. Especially your father. I think you are going to have to keep this young man at arm’s length for the moment, much though you might want to do otherwise.”
She paused to look her daughter straight in the eye. “You do believe that don’t you? You won’t go running off and do something silly?”
Aleria reached out and touched the tiny wrinkles that she had just noticed beside her mother’s eye. “I think you can safely stop worrying about me doing something silly. I know what almost happened because of that. I was a headstrong, spoilt brat, and I hope I have learned something.
”
Her mother’s face softened. “Aleria, you were never a brat. Headstrong, you will always be. Just remember to think first, then go ahead and be as stubborn as you like. Most people will mistake it for strength of character.”
“Mother! What a horrible thing to say about your only child! Even if it happens to be true. Come on, stop being mean and help me figure out what to do about Shen. He’s so sweet, Mother. You’ll love him.”
“If I ever get to meet him.”
“You mean…?”
“I don’t mean anything. It’s up to you. Sometimes these romantic interludes are best left alone, never repeated. That way they always keep the glow of a beautiful dream. Something to tell your own daughter about. Or granddaughter. On the other hand, if you are well suited, who knows what may come of it?”
“But Mother, he’s a merchant’s son.”
“And what’s wrong with that?”
She looked at her mother for a moment, stunned. “But I thought you…”
“I doubt if you thought at all. When have I ever said there was anything wrong with being a merchant? Where do you think your father gets the money to run his estates? He does business, just like any other merchant. He runs one of the largest cartage companies in the realm, as you very well know. Besides which, what do you know about this young man? There are plenty of merchant families with good blood. You say he was gentle and considerate. Sounds like a good upbringing to me, no matter what his background. I’m sure his parents are fine people, if he was that pleasant.”
Aleria smiled in relief. “I’m so happy to hear you say that. Come to think of it, I never did hear you speak of merchants with disrespect. I just assumed, because of your family and all…”
Her mother smiled. “You just assumed that I would have the same prejudices that your classmates have, because some of them come from Exalted families.” Then she shrugged. “You know I never went around spouting egalitarian principles to you. Heaven knows, a marriage of social unequals will have its share of extra problems, and a marriage is a difficult enough task on its own. I had always hoped you would marry someone of your own class. It would make things easier. But that doesn’t mean I’m set on it. No, my daughter, you consider this young man of yours carefully and make your own decision. After all, you have passed your Quest. Passed it twice over. You are an adult, now.”
Aleria sighed. “You know, I thought my troubles would be over when I finished with that Quest. I thought I would be an adult and I would get to make my own decisions. Now I don’t want to have to make them.”
Her mother smiled. “And what about your other conquest on the journey?”
For a moment, she didn’t understand. “What other conquest? You don’t mean Rheetie, do you?”
“No I didn’t. Who is Rheetie? Don’t tell me you had another one?”
She laughed. “No, mother. Rheetie was a boy I met on the Quest. A footpad, I believe, and not too experienced. I think he was going to rob me, but then someone clued him in to who I was. He was disgusted at his bad luck but very nice about it. That was when I first began to realize what a joke the Quest was.”
“I see. But what about young Lord Canah?”
“What about him? I don’t see why people keep bringing him up. He was part of a very nasty experience and I’d just like to forget him.”
“But you owe him a lot. And he had some nice things to say about you, it seems.”
“It seems he did. And I do owe him a lot. But he and that bunch treated me abominably. I can tell myself that his was all pretending, but it was still horrible. I was frightened stiff the whole time. I still can’t forget it. Even when I’m happy, there’s a small cold spot inside of me that remembers it. When someone steps too close behind me my heart goes to my throat, and then I feel like a fool for starting. But I can’t help it. I thought I was going to die, Mother. I thought they were going to beat me, and rape me, and torture me and then kill me!”
All the fear came rushing back to her, and she fell sobbing into her mother’s arms, clutching for the warm security she had always found there.
Her mother said nothing, only soothed her and held her close. After a while, she gently lifted her daughter’s head. “It will pass, you know. These things are always the worst when they are fresh. It is good to talk about them, because that seems to make them less important. I want you to come to me any time you need to. After a while the fear will get less and less, and soon you won’t think about it any more.”
Aleria sniffled. “I hope so. I don’t want to be like this. I don’t want to be afraid of everything.”
Leniema gave her a little shake. “Might be good for you in the long run. I never thought you had quite enough respect for danger.”
“I have now, believe me!”
“Don’t worry, daughter. People go through this all the time and come out the other side just fine. It’s a natural part of having an experience like that. After all, do you think you’re unique? Every soldier who goes through a battle has to deal with it afterwards. The first one is usually the worst, I suppose.”
“Have you ever gone through and experience like this?”
“Not as powerful as yours. But then, I never was quite the adventurer you are.”
“I think you can count on me to be a bit less adventurous in the future.”
Her mother smiled. “I won’t be counting on it, Aleria. You are much stronger than that. After all, there are times when it is necessary to take risks, like young Lord Canah did. From now on, perhaps you will choose your risks more carefully.”
“Oh, I most certainly will. And one risk I can avoid is Lord Raif Canah. In future, I will stay as far away from him as possible.”
Out of Mischief: World of Change Book 1 Page 8
