It was the way she said it… The words came out of his mouth before he could stop them.
“It sounds like you know that from experience.”
Her smile vanished and he could hear the sharp intake of her breath. He’d hit a nerve.
“You could say that.”
He didn’t think she was going to say anything else which was fine. None of this was frankly any of his damn business but then she continued, deliberately not looking at him but some far off place at some time in the past.
“I was with someone for a long time. I thought we were going to get married.”
Oh shit. He’d opened up a can of worms and he wanted to slap himself repeatedly on the head. This was going to be bad. So very awful.
But then to his surprise she turned to face him, their gazes colliding. “Turns out he spent the last year of our relationship cheating on me. When I found out I ended things. It wasn’t so much that I was heartbroken, I know that now. I don’t think I loved him the way I was supposed to and I’m guessing it was the same for him. I do think he should have manned up and admitted he didn’t want to be in the relationship anymore, though. He was a coward and I could never be with someone like that.”
“It must have been difficult.”
Wow, what a pathetic comment. I suck at this.
“What was difficult was realizing that I’d been living in my own little fantasy land. I was going to marry my college boyfriend and live happily ever after. We’d have an amazing wedding, then buy a house, and have two kids and a dog.”
“Don’t forget the minivan.”
Can I just shut my mouth?
Mallory didn’t take offense, instead laughing at his remark. “We can’t forget that, can we? I was so busy planning my perfect future I neglected to notice that I didn’t have the right man. We’d been growing apart for some time.”
“Do you still want the house and the dog?” he felt compelled to ask. “And the two kids?”
She shook her head, her smile growing bigger. If she’d been heartbroken at one point, she wasn’t anymore. “No, I just want to be happy whether it’s in a relationship or out of it. That’s why I was of two minds about going on the blind date to begin with. I wasn’t sure that I really wanted a man in my life, to be honest. What about you? What do you want?”
What did he want? That was an excellent question. Until recently he would have said that he wanted to have fun and be with beautiful women. Lots of them.
Been there, done that.
Lately he’d been wondering if there was something more out there. He’d watched as brothers and cousins tied the knot and now only he and Noah were holdouts. They seemed happy and content, happier than they’d been when they were single. They were building families and homes and if there was one thing Carter admired that was building something.
“I’m not sure,” he replied slowly, his mind still whirring with too many thoughts but no conclusions. “I know that I’ve always wanted a relationship like my parents but frankly I haven’t done a thing towards getting that. Quite the opposite, actually.”
Her head tilted and she studied him for a long moment as if she could see inside of his head. “Would you call yourself a womanizer, Carter? Because you…have a reputation.”
One he’d worked hard to get. It was only as he grew older that he’d realized that people didn’t always agree that he had something to be proud of.
Back to the question…
“Yes,” he admitted. “I am, or at least I was. I’m not sure that I can be called that anymore or that I even want to be. It was fun when I was younger but honestly, I’m getting to the point where I don’t want to spend my Friday and Saturday nights in a loud, smelly bar and then waking up feeling like shit the next day. That’s a young man’s game.”
“Waking up with a different woman,” she said shrewdly, her lips pursed. “That was part of the game too, right?”
Wincing at his unfortunate choice of words, he nodded in agreement. No point in trying to pretend because he’d been a real shit. “I’m not proud of a lot of my behavior but I never pretended with a woman that I was anything but who I was. If they got any other ideas, it wasn’t from me. I’ve been screaming from the rooftops since I was a teenager that I wanted to play the field and not get tied down with one woman.”
It didn’t really make it any better, though. He still sounded like a real douche bag.
“Women very often think they can change a man. I blame fairy tales, movies, and love songs.”
“I don’t think the Die Hard series is to blame for societal ills, Mallory.”
Laughing, she threw up her hands. “That movie isn’t so innocent, either.”
“I guess I’ve kind of been a jerk with women.”
“Probably some women,” she agreed, her expression solemn now. “The ones that didn’t understand the rules of your game or the ones that thought if they loved you enough it would make you want whatever they did. Perhaps even the women that started out just looking for fun but then they fell for you despite their best intentions. But you didn’t do the things you did all by yourself. You did have some female cooperation along the way. The big question is—who do you want to be now and in the future?”
“That’s what I don’t know,” he replied lamely, fiddling with the soda can he’d drained a while ago. “I don’t want to be that guy anymore but I’m not sure I’m ready for a family and a white picket fence.”
“Don’t forget the minivan,” Mallory teased, a smile playing around the corners of her full mouth. “Seriously, there has to be some space in the middle of those two extremes. At least I hope there is because that’s where I think I’d like to be right now. I’m not ready for a wedding dress but I’m past just wanting to date around.”
It was a relief to know that Mallory wasn’t looking for a diamond ring and forever. For the first time in a long time with a woman, Carter didn’t feel the pressure he usually did. She wasn’t looking to land a husband or an Anderson.
They were both looking for romance and this conversation had suddenly become far too serious. It was time to lighten it up a smidge.
“There is one thing I know I want,” he said, leaning forward so their faces were close together. “Something that, frankly, I’ve been thinking about since you opened your front door to me that first time last night.”
Her pupils were blown wide, her lips parted in anticipation. This was the dance. As old as time, their bodies knew what was happening even if their brains hadn’t quite caught up. The tension built between them, but it was delicious and heady. He breathed in deeply, filling his lungs with her intoxicating scent. This woman had no idea just how desirable she was.
“What have you been thinking about?”
The words came out almost as a whisper, their gazes never wavering from one another. Blood roared in his ears and pumped through his veins like a freight train. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been this attracted to a woman. And if he was reading her signals right, she was attracted to him, too.
“Kissing you.”
He wasn’t sure which one of them made the first move, but within seconds their lips were touching. Pulling her closer, he ran his fingers down her spine, delighting in the shiver he could feel run through her body. He ran his tongue softly over her bottom lip and she opened to him, deepening the kiss until they were a tangle of arms and legs on the rug.
Her own hands weren’t idle, however. One hand stroked the back of his neck while the other gripped his shoulder as if for dear life. Dragging his lips from hers, he pressed kisses over her satiny jaw as his fingers found the warm bare skin of her lower back where her sweater had ridden up. Mallory tasted like tomatoes, garlic, red wine, and something else that he couldn’t put his finger on. Only she had it and he was quickly becoming addicted.
He nipped at her ear lobe and then ran his tongue down her neck to where her pulse beat frantically. He took in another lungful of her scent and before capturing her lips again, but this
time the kiss was different. Before it had been an exploration. A beginning. This was more but what he couldn’t say. He only knew he couldn’t get enough.
He didn’t know how long they lay there, tasting, touching, exploring. There were sighs, moans, and even a few giggles at one point when he’d found a particularly ticklish spot at her waist. His body was hard and ready, the heat searingly hot between them. The sex was going to be off the charts amazing.
A hand pressed against his shoulder and he lifted up, tearing his mouth from hers. Her lips were swollen and her long dark hair was tousled around her head. Both of them were breathing heavy, panting loudly in the silence.
Fuck, she was gorgeous. He wanted nothing more than to sweep her into his arms and carry her into the bedroom, making love to her all night long. But a voice in the back of his head kept him from doing just that. He’d been wanting to make a change in his life. He might not be sure how to do that but one thing was for sure…
Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result was the definition of insanity.
Add into that the fact that Mallory was looking unsure. She was holding back, caution in those expressive eyes. There was passion and desire to be sure but it was tempered with a dash of fear. After the story she’d told him about her cheating ex-boyfriend she might not be ready to give him all of her trust.
“I think…maybe we should slow down,” she finally said, breaking the silence.
The crossroad was clear in front of Carter. He could go down the familiar path, doing what had felt right and natural for years but had become less and less satisfying over time, or he could take the unknown road. This wouldn’t make him a different person and it didn’t guarantee an outcome. He might fuck this all up no matter which way he went.
It wasn’t the end of the world if he didn’t get laid tonight. Or tomorrow night.
But let’s not make this a habit.
Chapter Eleven
‡
Mallory held her breath, waiting for Carter’s reaction. There was a fifty-fifty shot that he’d get up and leave. Other men had, although to be fair, some had stayed. She’d simply never been the type to jump into bed with a guy right away. She was attracted to Carter, but her innate cautious nature wouldn’t let her slide between the sheets with someone she’d only known a little more than twenty-four hours.
It wasn’t his reputation, although that would have been enough to make most women wary. She simply didn’t get naked with a man on the first date.
Or the second first date. Even if he was as sexy and funny as Carter Anderson.
“Okay,” he finally responded, drawing the word out so it sounded as if it were two syllables. “That’s fine. I wasn’t assuming.”
But he was. She could see it in his eyes. He’d thought they were off to the races, rolling around on her living room floor. For a moment, she’d been lost to the pleasure and she’d almost succumbed to his practiced technique. This man knew how to kiss and touch. He was a pro at seduction, knowing just what to do and when to do it. She could see why he was so successful with the ladies.
“I’m not saying that I don’t find you attractive because I do.” She was explaining too much now, her mouth moving without the benefit of a speed bump of judgment between it and her brain. “Very attractive. It’s just that I don’t go around hopping into bed with men I just met. I mean…I know that we’ve been through something traumatic together, but that doesn’t mean…Shit. I’m rambling, aren’t I?”
He sat up and grinned, his hair askew where she’d run her fingers through the silky strands.
Do not think about how good it felt. Don’t go there.
“You are rambling, but it’s cute.”
She highly doubted that for a second. She was well on her way to blithering idiot if she didn’t get herself under control. His kisses had sent her into a spin and she wasn’t thinking straight.
“I just want you to under–”
“I get it,” Carter cut in. “I didn’t expect us to go to bed together. Sure, I hoped we would. Hell to the yes, I want to, but believe it or not I’m not that spoiled. I don’t assume that every woman is going to fall into bed and her panties dissolve with just my mere manly presence.”
For some reason that struck Mallory as funny. She had an icky vision of a pair of panties dissolving into a pile of goo on the floor while serenely making conversation during dinner at a nice restaurant.
Carter, on the other hand, had no clue why she was giggling, her hand over her mouth. He was staring at her like she’d completely lost her mind and perhaps she had.
Hiccupping, she tried to explain. “It’s just the image. Dissolving panties. It’s so gross and funny at the same time.”
“You have a strange sense of humor, Mallory Cook.”
“You have no idea.”
A grin spread across his face. “I like it. It’s a little twisted. Like mine.”
Were they two peas in a pod? Only time would tell, of course. He had been described as over the top.
“My siblings think I’m weird.”
“So do mine,” he confided. “It’s a badge of honor, honey. You certainly don’t want to be normal, do you?”
At one point she might have but she didn’t anymore. This was far too much fun.
“No, but I am sorry.”
“What for? Saying no? Cock blocking me after some pizza? It’s certainly not how any guy wants the evening to end but I’ll survive.” He frowned, his brows pulled down. “Damn, did I say cock block? I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that in front of a lady.”
She was laughing again and having the best time with this man. She was very glad she’d said yes to this blind date, and then said yes again to a second first date.
“You’re fine,” she waved away his concerns. “You should hear some of the things my students say. They’d turn your ears blue.”
“Honey, they wouldn’t turn my ears blue. I probably invented half of those curse words.”
“Braggart.”
He waggled his eyebrows. “I have mad skills, babe. Just wait and see.”
Slapping her hand over her mouth, she shook with laughter. He was a goofball, too. Good. He didn’t take himself too seriously. That was an attractive quality in a man.
“Do you have the skills to pick out a movie that we can watch?”
His gaze ran over her small DVD collection. “I do. I bet you like romantic comedies.”
That explained the film from last night. She needed to set him straight before they saw all of Meg Ryan’s movies.
“I hate them. I actually like action films. I have the whole Die Hard series. You did mention it.”
A huge smile spread across his face. “Woman, you are perfect.”
She wasn’t but it was sure nice to have a man around that thought she was.
* * *
Bruce Willis had saved the world, and Mallory and Carter had raided the ice cream in her freezer. They’d eaten every bite before tossing the empty carton in the trash, both of them feeling a little guilty about the amount of junk food they’d consumed in one evening. It had been a great second first date but all good things had to come to an end, and Mallory found herself walking Carter to his car around midnight.
She’d wrapped a sweater around her shoulders but the cool night air hit her hard and made her shiver. Carter immediately noticed and placed his arm around her waist, pulling her close to his warm body.
I could get used to this.
When they reached his vehicle, she leaned against the door and looked up at him. Despite the porch light, his face was bathed in shadow giving him almost a mysterious look that he quickly ruined by grinning happily. Carter Anderson wasn’t mystery man material but he was a heck of a lot of fun.
Bracing his hand on the roof of the car, he leaned down and pressed his lips to hers. The kiss was soft and slow and so delicious it made her toes curl in her shoes. It ended far too soon but he didn’t move away, their faces inches
apart. She could smell the citrus of his body wash and feel his warm breath on her cheek. The heat of his body chased away the cold and she had to fight the urge to get closer. Her body was all full speed ahead but her brain and heart were holding up caution flags.
“Why don’t you join us for Sunday dinner tomorrow?” he asked. “I forgot to ask you earlier. My mom suggested it but I think it’s a great idea. She and Dad want to make sure that you’re okay, and frankly, you don’t want to miss her famous lasagna. It’s legendary in Tremont.”
That sounded…intimate. A family dinner. So soon?
“The Anderson Sunday dinners are an experience not to be missed,” Carter went on. “Usually most or all of the family is there and it gets pretty loud. My brothers and cousins can be real asses but they’re good guys, and their wives are sweet. There’s kids too, so I hope that doesn’t bother you.”
It didn’t. She was a teacher and she liked children. It actually sounded sort of wonderful but she wasn’t sure this was a good idea.
“I don’t want to intrude. It sounds like a family event.”
“Mom specifically invited you. We have people over all the time. If you don’t go, she’ll just stalk you until you give in. You’ll end up having coffee with her or lunch. She’s worried about you.”
It was nice to be worried about. Mallory’s parents were concerned as well but they were a long way away and couldn’t be right there to comfort her when she needed it. No sense crying over the circumstances, though. She’d known that she’d be on her own here. In a way, it had been part of the allure.
She realized she’d been quiet a long time. He was watching her wrestle with the decision and probably wondering why it was so hard. It was just a meal. It wasn’t tea with the Queen of England.
“Can I let you know in the morning?”
Such a cop out. Meeting the family was a big step in most relationships. Carter wasn’t like most men, though.
“Sure,” he nodded, straightening up and dropping his hand to his side. “I’ll call you. Now go inside and lock the door behind you. I’m going to stay out here and make sure you do.”
Road to Danger Page 6
