by Clay, Verna
"We didn't need to, but we wanted to. Besides, I've been talking about you for years and everyone is excited to meet you. And not only you, but Chad and Rush. We're all going to have a grand time. When I first asked Prudence Pittance if I could use her orphanage to host the biggest party ever, she said that if I hadn't asked, she would have insisted I use her building."
Lilah sighed. "And what a grand place it is. She's created a haven for those children. I could see in their faces how much they love her. Your town is simply wonderful. Why, I don't think we walked more than ten paces between greetings."
Hallie laughed. "You know, many of the townsfolk came out west on the same wagon train as me and Tim and Cooper. At the party I'll introduce you to those folks."
Lilah reminisced, "Remember when we were small and we'd get so excited we'd laugh about our butterfly stomachs?"
"I sure do. Is that how you're feeling now?"
"I am."
Hallie giggled, "So am I."
Lilah said, "I'll never forget your wedding day to Thomas. I kept encouraging you to eat, and you really tried, but then you said there were too many butterflies taking up the space."
Hallie also reminisced, "Later, Thomas told me he hadn't been able to eat for two days. It's a wonder we both didn't faint from hunger while saying our vows."
The next day, dressed in their finest clothing, everyone in the Jerome household climbed into the buggy or the buckboard to ride to the Pittance Orphanage. The day was so perfect it could have received an award. Fluffy clouds lazily paraded across a blue expanse in weather that required no jackets or shawls.
Lilah and Hallie, along with Maddie and Beau, rode in the family buggy driven by Rush, and the rest of the family rode in the buckboard driven by Cooper. The forty-five minute drive to town echoed with laughter, jokes, and friendly banter across the countryside. As they reached the outskirts of town, other buckboards and buggies joined behind theirs. Cooper and Hallie and their children waved and called greetings.
Lilah smoothed a gloved hand over her skirt, adjusted her fashionable straw hat that she'd splurged on at the hat-makers shop, and willed those darned butterflies to settle down. She had attended the most elegant parties in New Orleans, but this simple country affair had her tied up in knots—oh, how she wanted to fit in.
Glancing at Rush from beneath her lashes she watched his hands easily maneuver the horses' reins. Dressed in his black suit, now crisply pressed, he had never looked finer. He had added a string tie to his collar and his face was freshly shaved. When he'd helped her into the buggy and she'd stared into his eyes, she'd noted they were the color of freshly roasted coffee beans.
Their vehicles joined the others already in front of the orphanage and Rush jumped to the ground to help Lilah and Hallie and the children down. While they waited for Cooper and Tim and Jake, Hallie leaned toward Lilah and whispered, "He's a fine figure of a man and you haven't been able to take your eyes off him since we left the house." She laughed and quickly stepped away before Lilah could respond.
Cooper joined them, proffered his arm to Hallie, and asked, "Ready?"
Rush followed his lead, extending his arm to Lilah.
More vehicles pulled to the front of the orphanage and their occupants called greetings.
Lilah clasped Rush's arm and inhaled deeply as he led her inside.
Immediately upon entering the large dining hall that had been decorated for the festivities with wild flowers in vases and paper streamers, Mrs. Pittance hastened toward them and greeted Hallie and Lilah with hugs. "Welcome my dear friends. My forty children and I have been so excited about this party. In fact, we have a little surprise for you later."
Before Lilah could respond, Hallie was introducing Prudence to Rush and Chad. "We are forever in Rush's debt for bringing Lilah here." She grinned and placed her arm around Chad. "And along the way, they met this fine young man, so we've been doubly blessed."
Lilah's heart expanded at the happy look on Chad's face. Hallie's children had made him feel so much a part of their family that he seemed to have forgotten the conversation he had overheard between her and Rush. From morning until night he was either playing or helping his new cousins with their chores. Lilah had considered the fact that perhaps Hallie and Cooper would take him in and raise him as their own, but the thought of returning to New Orleans without him broke her heart. However, now was not the time to dwell on Chad's future.
Hallie touched Lilah's elbow. "You must meet Sharon Newman." She waved and called, "Sharon, come meet my sister."
The middle-aged woman returned Hallie's wave and hastened over. Before Hallie could make introductions, the portly woman hugged Lilah and said. "You're as pretty as a picture and I'm right honored to know anyone related to Hallie. Me and my husband, Stubby, God rest his soul, traveled on the same wagon train as your sister. 'Course me and Stubby didn't know each other 'til a terrible accident killed his cousin and he lost his wagon and just about everything. It was your sister who helped get him back on his feet. After we got to Oregon City, me and Stubby got married and we had ten years of bliss 'til he died a couple of years back. Doc said he had a weak disposition from all his years of drinking. 'Course he never touched the stuff again after his cousin died, just like I never entertained men again." She sniffled, brushed a tear, and said, "I sure miss my Stubby."
The woman finally paused in her long-winded greeting, and while Lilah tried to digest everything she'd said, Hallie embraced her. "I know, honey. I know."
Sharon brushed more tears. "I just need a few minutes to compose myself. I'll catch up with ya'll again later."
As soon as Sharon stepped away, another couple took her place and Hallie exclaimed happily, "Lilah, please meet Emmett and Lydia Hankerson. They're dear friends who also traveled the Oregon Trail with me. We met on a stagecoach headed for St. Louis and then had staterooms next to each other on the Mirabella, the steamship that took us to Westport Landing. It was in Westport that we all met up with the wagon master, Captain Jeremiah J. Jones."
Hallie hugged the small man and then his pretty wife. They appeared to be about the same age as Hallie and Cooper.
Mr. Hankerson said, "Your sister often speaks lovingly of you, and we've wanted to make your acquaintance for years. It's a pleasure. And please call me Emmett."
His wife said, "And call me Lydia."
Emmett chuckled. "Speaking of Captain Jones, we ran into him in Portland. He said that since rails have replaced wagon trains, he's been scouting for the railroad companies trying to pinpoint the best routes for laying tracks." He winked at Hallie. "He also said he finally tied the knot with Mrs. Martinique."
Hallie lifted a hand to her mouth in surprise. "I must write a letter congratulating them."
Lydia interjected, "And the Captain told us that the new Mrs. Jones is handing the reins of her business over to Clarissa."
Hallie looked even more surprised and when Lilah gave her a questioning look, her sister leaned over and whispered, "Mrs. Martinique runs a house of ill-repute."
Lilah didn't know how to respond to something hitting so close to home. She was saved when Lydia said to Hallie, "Dear heart, I'm so excited that Lilah's finally arrived that I planned a special luncheon. Please say you'll come on Wednesday."
Hallie glanced at her sister. "We'd love to come unless Lilah has other plans."
"I have no plans but to follow you around like a puppy, my dear sister."
Hallie laughed and squeezed Lilah's hand. She said to Lydia, "What time would you like us there?"
While Hallie and Lydia discussed the particulars of the luncheon, a handsome young man approached with Hallie's son, Tim.
Tim said, "Aunt Lilah, I'd like you to meet Sam Hankerson. Emmett and Lydia are his parents."
"Pleased to me you, ma'am," said a boy as slightly built as his father.
Tim said, "Me and Sam became best friends on the Oregon Trail. Sam's leaving next week to finish college in Portland to become a teacher. He's hopin
g to return here and teach."
Sam punched Tim's shoulder, "I don't think your aunt wants to hear all that."
Lilah said, "Oh, but I love hearing about everyone in this community. I'm sure you will be a most excellent teacher."
Sam replied, "Thank you, ma'am."
Across the room, someone called to Tim and Sam and they politely excused themselves.
Several long tables stretched across the back wall and food abounded. There didn't appear to be any stinginess among these families.
Cooper and Rush rejoined them and Hallie continued making introductions around the room. Lilah met so many people her head felt dizzy. Of one thing she was sure—Cooper and Hallie were pillars of their community and well respected.
When there was a pause in the introductions, Cooper nodded across the room. "Things are about to kick-off. I can't wait to dance with my favorite gal."
Hallie grinned and pointed to each musician preparing their instruments. "That's Ned and his brother Jed. And Rose and Sarah and Moses and…"
Lilah laughed to herself. There was no way she would remember all those names. One of the musicians got the attention of all the others and then tapped the bow of his fiddle to count the timing before starting a lively tune. Two men and two women who had taken positions in front of the musicians started singing harmonies to a favorite country song.
Before long, the center of the room was filled with country folk laughing and dancing. Lilah hadn't attended a country dance since her childhood and the nostalgia put a lump in her throat. The fabulous parties and balls she had attended in New Orleans had been for the purpose of showcasing Charles Karney. Even though they never carried on in public or even spoke to each other at functions, everyone knew of their arrangement, and Charles flaunted her to make other men jealous of his success, not only in business, but in private. Everything she had done was for his benefit. The fact that this party was being thrown in her honor caused a tear to drip.
Rush spoke in her ear. "Why are you crying, honey?"
She brushed the tear aside. Instead of answering his question, she said, "Thank you for bringing me to Oregon."
He didn't pursue an answer to his question. He simply said, "May I have this dance?"
As the singers belted out the lively song and fiddlers made their instruments come alive, Rush proved himself to be an excellent dancer, something Lilah attributed to his mother's upbringing. Within minutes, she was again dancing the country steps she had learned as a child.
Throughout the evening she never lacked for a dance partner. When she saw Chad standing to the side grinning, she immediately grabbed his hand when a new song began and pulled him onto the floor. Amidst his protests, she soon had her adopted son twirling her around the room. She glanced up once to see Rush watching them with an intensity that made her breathless.
As for the surprise Mrs. Pittance had spoken of, the orphanage children, joined by local children, all gathered in front of the musicians and sang a song for Lilah written by a boy named Gus Maverick, a sixteen year old who had lived at the orphanage since the age of ten. Gus played the lead fiddle and Lilah marveled at his ability, and when he lowered his instrument to sing, she was awestruck by his beautiful voice.
As the evening turned to night, Lilah laughed, danced, ate, conversed, and then did it all over again. And throughout the entire time she was always aware of Rush.
The hoe-down finally ended at midnight with some folks spending the night at the orphanage so as not to travel at night, while others had no qualms about returning home in the dark. When Rush lifted her into the buggy, Lilah admitted to herself the secret desire that had been churning in her heart for a long time. Exactly when it had come about, she didn't know. What she did know, however, was that she wanted to stay married to Rush. She wanted to raise Chad alongside him. She wanted them to become a real family. She wanted to honor her marriage vows with this rough-hewn, but sensitive man.
As the buggy headed for home and she snuggled under a blanket with her sister and Maddie and Beau, the happiness of the evening turned to sadness when she thought about the annulment Rush had planned. Hallie must have sensed her melancholy, because she whispered in her ear. "You must tell me what's wrong when we get home."
After the children were bedded and the house silent, Rush bid goodnight and retired to the outbuilding that he'd insisted on staying in since their arrival. Hallie told Cooper she would come to bed after a few minutes with Lilah.
As soon as Hallie closed Lilah's bedroom door, Lilah burst into tears.
Concerned, Hallie said, "It's Rush, isn't it?"
Lilah nodded and sniffed. "Y-yes."
"Honey, what seems to be the problem? He loves you. I can see it in his eyes. And you're as readable as an open book where he's concerned. What's keeping the two of you apart?"
Lilah covered her face with her hands. "I'm so ashamed. I-I haven't had the courage to tell you the truth. But the guilt is killing me. I won't blame you if you cast me out of your house after you find out."
Hallie placed her arms around Lilah. "Is your big secret the fact that you're not a seamstress?"
Lilah jerked her head upright. "Wh-what? How did you find out?"
Hallie smoothed Lilah's hair. "My dear baby sister, years ago I read between the lines in your letters, and when you insisted on using general delivery as your mailing address, I knew you were trying to hide something. But you have never been able to hide anything from me for long. Even before you secreted away to New Orleans, I knew in my heart that you were leaving. Sometimes you have to let the ones you love find their own way. You have always been headstrong, dearest, and I knew I had to let you go."
Lilah's lower lip trembled and she gulped, "For three years I struggled to survive in New Orleans as a respectable woman, and when the city's most influential Madam asked me to come work for her, I was so tired and hungry, that I did. She was kind and didn't force anything on me. In fact, she spent over a year teaching me to become a paramour. She said only the finest men would be allowed to…to…" Lilah sobbed softly. "Within a month after my training, I met the man who would become my benefactor for fifteen years, and he paid the Madam handsomely for my release. I think that was her plan all along to protect me."
Hallie cocked her head to one side. "I knew you were hiding something to that affect."
"I'm so sorry for disappointing you. I wasn't going to come to Oregon, but I started having dreams—nightmares, really—of never seeing you again. After the third night I couldn't take it anymore. I longed so much to be with you and your family. Afterward, I was going to return to New Orleans and start a seamstress business with my longtime friend, Mary. But–" Lilah's heart hurt so much she couldn't finish her sentence.
Hallie finished it for her. "But your travel was interrupted by a nightmare that turned into something beautiful—you fell in love with Rush and became mother to Chad."
"Yes," Lilah choked. "And Rush knows me for the deceptive and loose woman that I am."
Hallie smoothed Lilah's hair and said, "Honey, haven't you learned that what begins as a nightmare doesn't have to end that way? When I lost Thomas, I felt so lost and alone. It was the worst nightmare I had ever experienced. But then Cooper agreed to accompany me and Tim to Oregon, and along the way, my grief began to heal. Letting go of grief is one of the hardest things I've ever done." She pushed a strand of Lilah's hair behind her ear. "It's the same for you. You are grieving the choices you've made in your life. Choices you believe killed any chance for happiness. Lilah, it's time to stop grieving. It's time to pursue what will make you happy. When I awakened from my nightmare, I knew what would make me happy—a life spent with Cooper raising any children born to us and the ones born with our first spouses. I didn't know if what I wanted would come to pass, but I had to choose between doing nothing, and doing something. I went to Cooper and revealed my love; but he still left and broke my heart. I didn't think I would ever see him again. But even in my sorrow, I knew I had done what w
as in the best interest for both of us, and in so doing, I moved forward."
Lilah swiped her eyes and then placed her hands in her lap, staring at them. Finally, she said, "I'm going to follow my heart and tell Rush how I feel. He's returning to his ranch in Texas and if he wants me and Chad to go with him, we'll gladly go. But if he can't forgive my past, I'm going to ask him if I can raise Chad and…and…"
"What Lilah?"
Lilah lifted her eyes to her sister's. "I want to stay here in Oregon City, close to my family and open a dress shop. I want to bring Mary here. I want us to become part of a community."
Hallie's own eyes gushed with tears. "Oh, Lilah, my heart's desire is that you would stay here. But I have a feeling we'll be saying goodbye after you talk to Rush."
Chapter 28: Showdown with Rush
Over several days, Lilah waited for the perfect timing to speak with Rush. She knew she should just ask him to go for a walk and tell him her feelings, but whenever she started to do so, something would either prevent it or she would lose her courage.
It was actually Rush who initiated their walk when he asked, "Lilah, would you like to ride to the river? I need to talk with you."
Her heart hammered. "Of course. I'll just get my shawl and bonnet."
Throughout the buggy ride from the cabin to the main road, and then twenty minutes to a turnout with a path meandering to the river, Lilah practiced in her mind what she wanted to say. Never had she been so nervous. If he said no, she would just die. Over their three months of being together she had come to love him in a way she had never imagined possible. He was a rough cowboy with the kindest of hearts. He was big and weathered and oh so gentle. He could beat an ornery man to the ground one minute, and lift a sad little boy out of the mire, in the next. He was everything she wanted in a man.
Lilah was so lost in thought that she didn't realize Rush was standing beside the buggy waiting to help her down. He asked, "Lilah, are you all right?"
"Oh…yes. I'm sorry. I was just thinking about…life in general."
