by Leen Elle
"But?" The anticipation was thick.
"But I heard Miss. Livings has already fallen. I heard from a very reliable source she's not sick; she's pregnant."
Promise clasp her hand over her mouth to stave the sobs. No one was around, excepting Alex, but hearing her heart breaking again would be too much to bear. Panic gripped her just moments later as she watched the minute hand move to lap the twelve. Soon it would 2:15 and time for her to leave for work. Thinking of facing Mrs. Helen and the rest of her duties made her fragile composure crack slowly like warming ice. She couldn't do it.
Dialing the ten digits necessary to alert the day supervisor to her plight she took a deep breath. "Sunray Gardens, how may I help you?"
"Sammy, this is Promise. I need to talk to Mara."
"Sure thing, Miss. Genson, please hold." Another series of rings commenced in her ear.
"Hello?" Mara's voice interrupted
"Mara, this is Promise." I need Laurel to cover for me today." Promise hurried on. She'd never lied before but… "There's been a death in the family."
"How tragic!"
"And sudden. I realize this will probably give Laurel a double shift but…"
"These things can't be helped," Mara cut her off, "think nothing more about it."
"Tell Laurel I'll make this up to her."
"You'll do no such thing. Now you get off this phone and jet over to be with that family of yours. Don't worry about us; we got it covered. Good bye, Promise. My condolences."
"Goodbye."
Promise stifled the guilt that seeped in on her. Laurel had been urging her for weeks to take a break, promise reminded herself. Laurel had done everything but take it upon herself to sign her up for a personal day.
As for what she'd told Mara... It was worse than a death in the family. It was the death of a family. The family she'd dreamed to have with Aidan; the family he already had.
Just a few days later, as she was wiping a counter clean, Dante ambled in under the Lazy Daisy welcoming bell. Coming directly towards her, he set himself up on a stool nearby. Placing his chin on his palm his eyes scanned the menu behind her. He was up to something. Dante always order the same thing. If he was browsing the menu he was buying time.
"What can I get you, Dante?" she asked to cut his plotting short.
"I'm just deciding what to order," he said as he returned his attention to the menu.
"You always order the same thing, Dante. The ham sandwich with mayo and cheese."
"Yes well I was thinking…"
"What do you want, Dante?"
"I told you I'm not sure. You haven't given me time to…"
Taking his cheeks in her fingers she asked more forcefully, "No, what do you want? You're up to something and I'm not in the mood for games."
"You know sometimes you take all the fun out of it."
Releasing him she rocked back onto her heels and flicked the towel over her shoulder. Crossing her arms over her chest she fixed him with her most compelling look.
"I wanted to apologize."
"Apologize?" she echoed.
"Yeah for going behind your back like Mikey and trying to get him to squeal on you. It wasn't cool."
Selah stared at him for a moment as his confession sunk in. Once it had she whipped the towel from her shoulder and began scrubbing furiously at the counter before her. After a few vicious swirls she tossed the damp rag down with a splat.
"You too?"
"You didn't…"
"No, I didn't know all my friends were stalking me. What was it to you two? A game?"
"It was nothing like that Sey I swear. We was just worried about you. You seemed so down…"
"It's double price for that ham sandwich if you still want it," she flung at him as she swiped her rag from the counter. The swinging doors flung wildly after they had swallowed her whole.
Dante was dumbfounded. She hadn't known? But Michael had said… Looking at the jogging doors Dante narrowed his eyes. When he saw Michael again he would be the one with something to say.
When she opened her eyes the next morning she lay staring at the ceiling for several minutes trying to figure out if I had all been a dream. Forcing herself to sit up she looked about her room. Seeing the small mountain of tissues on her nightstand she knew it could none other than reality. Closing her eyes and gathering her inner strength she pushed up off the bed and began her daily routine. After feeding Alex she struggled through the rest of her morning schedule. Half an hour later, dressed, teeth brushed, and bed made, she settled down onto the couch.
The silence leaned on her heavily, pinching her already frayed nerves. She fidgeted with several activities but none of them were able to distract her mind. She was going crazy. She had to get out of here.
Picking up the nearby phone she dialed a number by heart. One, two, three rings… "Hello…"
"Colin." Relief flowed through her at the sound of his voice. She spoke quickly all of her pent up feelings hidden poorly behind her desperate words. "I got to get out of this house."
"… You're reached the residence of Colin Minstrom and Sean Andrews. No one is here to take your call at the moment, or is too lazy to have reached the phone." Sean's objection rang out, ignored, in the recorded background. "If it's an emergency I can be contacted at the Philadelphia area coroner's office. Phone number…"
Placing the phone back into its cradle Promise took stock of her surroundings. She was a capable adult. What was stopping her from going out alone? She didn't want to be alone.
There were four hours that needed to be passed before she could head into work as scheduled. She needed to get out of this house but there was no one to go out with. After a few moments of thought she remembered the park down by where Colin worked. Packing up an impromptu picnic lunch she grabbed a book and headed out the door.
Some time later, while she was reading a more relaxed chapter in her book, she noticed that her leg was beginning to warm. Looking up to the sun she realized that the shadow of the tree she'd been sitting in was waning. Looking to her watch she discovered why. Three-fifteen. She should have left her house and hour ago. It was twenty minutes from here to home and then another three quarters of an hour to her Sun Ray Gardens. By the time she clocked in she would be nearly two hours late.
She should call Mara and tell her… No, Mara would know she was late by now. No need to waste time telling her that. If Mara had managed to schedule someone over for her she'd just come back here she supposed.
When she returned home the message light on her answering machine was blinking. Clicking the button she thought nothing of it and went about the task of feeding Alex normally until Aidan's voice filled the silence.
"Hey Promise, this is Aidan. I was just wondering: are you doing anything tonight? If not I was hoping that we could go out for dinner. It's coming up on our nine month anniversary you know. Well that's really all I wanted to know… Give me a call as soon as you can? Love you, sweetheart."
Alex lapped at the juices that had splashed onto the floor when Promise had dropped the cat food can. Puddles of various animal juices formed quicker than the cat could drink but she was too stunned to move. It hadn't occurred to her that the message might have been from Aidan.
When Alex mewed at her for more, Promise snapped to attention. After cleaning up the mess she'd made Promise tossed on her uniform and hurried out the door. When she arrived at work Mara sent her directly home. Once Promise was outside the pin locked doors she paused. Did she go home or slip over to the park?
Not relishing the idea of having to deal with Aidan's message she got into her car and drove to the park. Grabbing her book she found where she had been sitting before and settled down for a long and pleasant read.
"Writer's block got ya again?" Promise jumped at the sound of a voice over her shoulder.
"Colin!"
"Shouldn't sit so still next a coroner's office; could end up inside it." Promise forced a smile at his teasing tone as her heart slo
wed to a normal beat. His smile faded as she sat down beside her. "Something's wrong."
"Don't be silly. What could possibly be wrong?"
"Any number of things," he replied then added in a more quiet tone as she studied her face, "but the pessimist in me says it could only be one." Reaching out towards her he tucked her hair out of her face. "Willing to bare your soul for an examination?"
Promise, who had closed her eyes at his touch, struggled for a balance point. No she didn't want to bare her soul. She didn't want Colin, didn't want anyone, to see the shreds and shambles strew about her heart. But… There was a drawing, a longing she couldn't ignore to tell him, just tell someone of her pain. Shaking her head and pushed her knuckles against her lips to keep back rising sob.
"Enough said," he murmured as she felt herself lifted to her feet. She opened her eyes and dared to glance at him but he was already picked up her scattered things. Taking advantage of his distraction, she wiped quickly under each eye. She reached to pick up her book but Colin's hand quickly added it to his pile. Straightening he nodded towards where their car was parked. "Mind if I drop in to visit with Alex?"
Shaking her head she moved towards her car and crawled inside. Colin opened the passenger door and tossed her stuff inside. "I'll follow you home then."
Nodding again she twisted the key in the ignition; the car roared to life.
Pulling into her driveway she remembered the message Aidan had left her just a few hours before. Her mind told her to run and never look back but Colin's headlights soon beamed past her own; she was parked in. Sighing, Promise disengaged her key from the ignition and gathered her things. Exiting her car she was met by Colin who reached in before she could object and pushed the locks for her. Shutting the driver side door he waited for her to make the next move.
After several moments of staring at him like some dumbfounded grade-schooler she hurried up her stairs and into her house. Plopping her arm load of junk on the couch she moved on force of habit to the kitchen, calling Alex as she went.
Once her cat had been fed Colin planted himself on the couch with the cat treats. When he shook them Alex darted out of the kitchen, her small stomach swaying back and forth as she ran. Promise allowed herself a small smile at the sight.
"This container is half full, Alex. Hasn't Prick been spoiling you properly?"
"Spoiling her? That cat is already rotten with love. Look at her. You should have heard her when I didn't have any of her canned food in the house. You would have thought she was ill. I would have had to go out simply for that."
Colin chuckled heartily as he rubbed Alex behind the ears. "Not my Alex."
"Of yes your Alex."
Promise became quiet then said without her eyes meeting his, "But if not for Alex I may never had known…"
"Known what, Promise?" Colin probed quietly, sensing the changed atmosphere about him.
"Aidan doesn't love me. He can't! He says he loves me and it's all lies. All of it." Colin was silent as if waiting for her to continue. Tears trekked down her cheeks as she hugged herself and leaned against the wall.
Rising and coming across the room Colin stopped at her side. Reaching out he placed a warm hand across the back of her neck and gave it a coaxing squeeze. Looking up into his compassionate features, she allowed herself to be drawn up against him. "It was all a lie. I'm such a fool."
Selah tried to work through her angry frustration the next few days as she worked. She couldn't stay mad at Dante and Michael forever; her bitterness was already fading. As thoughtless as the act had been it was sweet. For as creepy as it was to have them follow her not just around all day but online too… It showed how much they cared.
Actually, the more she thought of it the more humored her. Thinking of those two banding together to accomplish anything brought tears of laughter of her eyes. Sure they put on a good face but it was obvious those two were at odds. Thinking of the exchanges the two must have shared, using that term loosely, made her smile despite herself.
As the bell over the door jangled she looked up expectantly. It was noon time on Friday; Michael should be coming… But he wouldn't be, she remembered with a frown. She had told him not even to call her. Michael was just too polite to come into the café when she commanded him to keep his distance. Where had he gone? Was he having lunch at his place today? Had he resorted to ordering fast food?
Jerking her head up at the sound of the bell she stared into the young waitress' face. "That's two home fried chickens, no trimmings and a Caesar salad, hold the sauce."
Sighing Selah began to fix the requested meals, wishing she was making something simpler. Maybe a toasted Italian with extra meat, hold the anything else. She giggled at the thought. Michael would like a small coke with that, no ice.
"Miss. Donovan!" a girl's voice raised in alarm. Coming back to the present Selah quickly patted out the burning towel nearby after tossing it from the stove. Evelyn, the waitress, stared at her, eyes wide. Flustered, Selah grabbed the smoking chicken from the heat. Heat was dangerous when you only paid it half a mind. She needed to get her thoughts on her job before she burned this place down.
Aidan called her his hope and all he did was tear hers down. Holding her against himself he struggled to comfort her and wrestled with breaking the sob-punctuated silence. He wanted to know what that oaf had done to bring her pain, again. Why did she keep going back to someone who had hurt her so much? Why couldn't she see…? His train of thought whistled in the distance as her fingers wrapped more tightly about his arm.
"Don't let me go." Had he pulled away? Wrapping one arm about her waist he gently coaxed her chin upward. Her eyes shown with unshed tears, her cheeks glistened with the ones escaped. God, she was beautiful. And so close. There were just mere inches between them. If he lowered his head…
Mentally shaking himself, he caressed her cheek with his thumb, removing some of the offending moisture. Her eyes widened a bit at the intimate gesture and he felt his gut constrict. She was so beautiful and she didn't' even know. She didn't even know. His eyes focused on her lips as the pad of his thumb brushed their rose kissed frown. Before he did something rash, he forced his lips to form words against better wisdom and wish.
"Tell me about it," he said gently, "tell me what he did."
Promise's lips trembled momentarily then she pressed them together; the tip of her tongue flicked out to moisten them as she nodded. He felt bereft as her fingers slid from his sleeve. Her eyes dropped from his as she stepped back and leaned on the wall, putting space between them.
"You were right. Back then, now, Aidan just wanted… a body."
"Has he touched you?" Her shoulders shrank back against the wall when his fingers gripped her wrist. Shaking her head he watched her fight of her voice.
"I should have seen it before. The way he looked at her and how suddenly they broke it off. All the rumors…"
"What are you talking about, Promise?"
"All the rumors about Shannon and Aidan: they were… true." Her fingers covered her mouth for a moment as she struggled with what to say next. "Everything was true. From him cheating on her with me behind my back to… Colin, I saw his picture. 'Aven, dearest son, 1999.' Shannon wasn't… She was…"
The painful words dissolved, trickling down her cheeks. He stepped closer to her and reached out to her but drew straight at a sudden noise. Her weeping ceased when she heard it. Hurriedly, she swiped at her tears but as she moved to pick up the phone he snatched it from its cradle.
"Hello?"
"Er… Is Promise there?" Colin bristled and Promise stiffened beside him.
"No."
"No?"
"No."
"Colin, who is it?" He tried to ignore her and hoped Aidan hadn't heard her quiet interruption.
"I heard her."
"People hear lots of things. Some aren't true and some unfortunately are. Like rumors. They're real funny things when they're…"
Aidan began an objection in the background but
Colin paid him no mind; Promise's hand held tightly about the upper portion of the phone. He hesitated. Her eyes were bloodshot, her nose red, and her cheeks still shimmered with neglected tears but there was an unshakable determination in her eyes. He didn't want to surrender the phone. He didn't want her to have to endure another ounce of pain under Aidan's shadow; however, in the hope of an end, he resigned the phone to her unsteady grasp.
"It's me, Aidan."
"What's going on, Promise? Why is Colin there? Why didn't you return my call?"
"I met up with Shannon in the grocery store."
"What's she got to do with anything?"
"Everything," she said quietly in the mouth piece. "I'm sorry, Aidan."
"What are you talking about? Promise please talk to me."
Shaking her head she replied, "I can't. Please, don't call again."
"But Hope…Promise…"
"Good bye."
Turning towards Colin she gave him a wane smile. "Should have said that a long time ago," she quipped, trying to make the mood lighter. Dabbing at her eyes she leaned back against the wall and sighed, her shoulders falling. Laying her head back she closed her eyes.
"You must be exhausted." Promise made a poor attempt at a nod. "You should eat and go to bed. You work tomorrow, right?"
"I'm on the schedule. I should get some sleep. I'm not hungry."
"You have to eat. Please, I… don't want to leave yet."
"I guess I could go for a sandwich." Colin smiled brightly and moved towards her refrigerator. "What kind? I do anything but PB and J." He made a face. "Just can't look at that sandwich the same way after working in a morgue."
Promise giggled for a moment and tried to return his tease. "Just what I was going to have."
He paused for a moment with a look on his face then opened the fridge. "I'm having turkey and cheese but I think I can manage one PB and J, for you." Alex mewed and swirled about his legs as his fixed their meals. Promise didn't fail to notice how sloppily he applied his turkey and cheese. Leaving the bits he had dropped behind, he placed their sandwiches on the table. Purring, Alex cleaned the counter with pleasure.
