“Are you sure you’re okay?” Zak asked as she pulled her suitcase and plopped it on the bed.
“I’m fine. I mean, as fine as the situation will allow, of course. The situation isn’t ideal but anyone can handle anything when they know it’s temporary. We’re both adults. We can handle this without any further awkwardness. Thank you for keeping me alive.”
Even to her own ears she sounded like someone sitting in on a job interview—professional, perfunctory and totally devoid of personality—but she didn’t know how else to ignore the roaring in her ears whenever he was around.
She could smell his skin.
Pheromones were powerful.
He smelled like rain and thunderstorms, an aroma she never realized was incredibly sexy.
Was he really going to stay awake all night? That wasn’t fair or safe. In the end, wasn’t safety the most important factor? She had to ditch whatever reservations she was clinging to if she was going to get through this ordeal in one piece. So, with that understanding...
Lifting her chin, she said, “Look, let’s be smart about this. You can’t do your job if you’re not well rested. We can share the bed if you’re hell-bent on remaining in the room. But first, a few ground rules.”
“This ought to be interesting,” he said with a subtle, intrigued smile. “Please feel free.”
“Okay, I think we should just admit that there’s some kind of connection between us and acknowledge that nothing is going to happen. So with that said, I think it’s understood that there will be no cuddling, right?”
“Probably a good idea,” he agreed, still amused. “But you needn’t worry. I’m not going to try to cop a feel or anything. Even if, as you say, there’s a connection between us.”
She faltered. Was she imagining their chemistry? Entirely possible—she sucked at these kinds of things. Caitlin was thankful for the dim lighting in the room, for her cheeks were pretty hot. “Of course, if I’m off-base, I apologize but I feel it’s best to be up front and honest about expectations when faced with high-stress situations.”
Zak’s amusement faded for a brief moment. What she wouldn’t give for a peek into his own internal dialogue. Finally, he nodded, saying, “I appreciate your candor and your offer to share the bed. The chair should be fine. Like I said, I can sleep anywhere and I don’t need a lot of it.”
She accepted his answer. “I guess that’s settled, then.” Grabbing her pajamas, she returned to the bathroom to change. A quick look in the mirror confirmed the blush in her cheeks could warm a small country. Patting her cheeks lightly, she blew out a small breath, trying to calm her heart rate. Okay, focus on the important points—you’re alive. Yes, that was certainly important. She and Zak were adults; they could handle a little misplaced attraction, if that was what was happening. There, much better. Straightening her nightgown collar, she exited the bathroom to find Zak gone and her newfound hold on her confidence slippery. Had she scared him off? Where’d he go? Should she go find him? Oh, goodness, chase him? Hell, no, that wasn’t happening. Besides, what was her plan when she found him? Shake him down for answers? “Hey you, why’d you leave me to feel vulnerable and rejected?” A question that would only leave her to feel more of the same, except amplified by a factor of ten?
No, thanks.
On that note, time for bed.
Sighing, she returned the suitcase to the floor and climbed between the starchy sheets. It smelled of dust and old linens. Please, no cockroaches or bedbugs, she prayed as she scooted down into the bed. Shivering a little, she snuggled more deeply into the cold bedding, wishing she were home in her own bed and definitely not in a strange house with a hot stranger, trying to stay alive.
She supposed nothing was perfect.
Chapter 10
The following morning Zak awoke early, his bones protesting the chair he’d slept in, and quietly left Caitlin sound asleep in the bedroom.
He took this time to call Scarlett.
“The dark web is eerily quiet,” Scarlett said. “I have a bad feeling about this.”
“The bio-agent isn’t as valuable without the cure. Unless whoever wants it is planning a total extinction event,” Zak said. “Which is possible if we’re dealing with a psychopath rather than your typical greedy bastard.”
“You know the world is going to hell in a handbag when the lesser of two evils is still pretty damn bad.”
He drew a breath. “Okay, so we can’t hole up here for too long and we have to assume that the lab is compromised, as well, but Caitlin has to be able to finish her work. Any ideas?”
“I’m working on it. Tessara has labs all around the world. I’ll connect with Tessara today and find Caitlin a new lab to do her research. In the meantime, are you secure?”
“Yeah, for the time being. We’re going to need supplies.”
“We’ll drop in some food for a few days. Watch for the drone.”
“Roger that.”
“Keep your head on a swivel. I don’t feel good about this situation. Something feels off.”
Yeah, he felt that, too. “Same. I’ll sit tight until I hear word.”
Scarlett clicked off and he went to the kitchen to survey the food situation. The cupboards had a few canned goods, stuff that would survive an apocalypse without spoiling but he wouldn’t enjoy putting in his mouth, so he knew for a fact that Caitlin would balk at the prospect.
Not much for breakfast but he did find an old coffee maker and the right stuff to brew a batch.
He watched with satisfaction as the coffee began to percolate. He grabbed his pack and pulled a few protein bars he always carried with him for emergencies, a habit he learned while in the service, and went to see if Caitlin was awake yet.
He found Caitlin on her side, staring out the window, watching the sun crest the horizon. “Did I wake you?” he asked.
She shook her head. “I’m used to waking up early. Usually, I’m already dressed and heading to the lab by now. Feels weird to still be in bed.” She rolled to her side to regard him. “Did you sleep at all?”
He nodded. “The chair is more comfortable than it looks. I caught more than enough winks.”
If she didn’t believe him, she didn’t call him out. Maybe she realized there were bigger issues than catching him on white lies. “What happens now?” she asked.
“My TL is working on a plan but for now, we sit tight.”
“I hate that idea,” Caitlin grumbled. “I’m not good with idle time on my hands.”
He identified with that statement more than he cared to admit. “I’m sorry. Not much I can do about that right now.”
“I understand. I’m not asking you to entertain me. I’m just stating a fact.”
Someone was cranky in the morning. She sniffed at the air. “Is that coffee?”
“I can’t vouch for how good it is but it’s something,” he said. “I came to see if you wanted a cup.”
“God, yes,” she answered, throwing the blankets free and padding to the bathroom in her Victorian nightgown that covered her from neck to toe. Why did that look sexy? He looked away as the door closed.
He called out, “I’ll just fix you a cup. Hope you like it black.”
“That’s fine,” she said from behind the door.
Zak turned on his heel, mildly baffled by the tingle of arousal in his gut, and quickly focused on that cup of coffee.
When she emerged, Caitlin was dressed and he was grateful. How was he supposed to explain that seeing her in that prim and proper getup had fired up his engine like nothing he’d ever experienced? Especially when he couldn’t make head or tail of it himself? No one got horny from something that looked plucked from the pages of an 1800s’ Sears and Roebuck catalog.
Except his immediate erection told a different story.
Caitlin slid into the worn chair at the breakfast table and gripped her han
ds around the mug with an expression of gratitude. “I need this. I didn’t sleep well at all.”
“Don’t count your chickens yet, it might taste like ass,” he warned, lifting the mug to his own lips for a tentative sip. He grimaced at the burn on his tongue, but otherwise, it was serviceable. “Not bad, I guess. Could use some cream and sugar.”
She chuckled, teasing, “The big bad soldier needs a little sweetness in his morning coffee?”
He grinned at the ribbing. “Guilty. I can drink it black but damn, I do like my sweet stuff.” He could only imagine how sweet Caitlin tasted beneath that nightgown. Good Lord, what was wrong with him? Clearing his throat, he asked, “Well, what’s the verdict?”
“Not bad. I’ve tasted worse but I’m more about the caffeine than the flavor. At the lab, I practically exist through the power of black coffee.”
The lab. He sighed, hating to be the bearer of bad news, but there was no sense in sugarcoating what was inevitable. “Okay, so here’s the reality. You can’t go back to the lab. At least not that lab. Tessara has locations around the world. Scarlett is going to rendezvous with Tessara and find a new location for you to work your magic but until then, we’re stuck here.”
“What about my team?” she asked. “I need my team with me.”
“That’ll be up to Tessara to determine who comes along for the ride.”
“Well, you need to stress that I need my team with me,” she insisted. “To get someone new up to speed would take time we don’t have.”
It made a certain amount of logic but he hadn’t had the chance to vet her team yet. It might not be feasible to bring everyone along. “I’ll do what I can,” he said, hoping to smooth the anxiety from her forehead. “What matters most is your safety.”
“No, what matters is finding the cure,” she reminded him. “If someone wants me dead...then they must not care about a cure, which means it’s that much more important to find one before the psycho who stole my sample decides to unleash it on the world.”
God, he loved how her brain worked. She was right, of course, but he hadn’t expected her to come to that conclusion on her own. “The attempt on your life does call into question the theory that whoever took the sample is looking to sell it to the highest bidder. It also seems to explain why there’s been no chatter on the dark web for a buyer.”
She shuddered, understanding the implication. “Who could possibly hate humanity so much that they’d want to annihilate the world?”
“You’d be shocked and horrified by how many people would be willing to pull that trigger,” he said. “I’ve seen the absolute worst of human beings out there who don’t give two shits about their fellow humans. I’d much rather deal with greedy bastards than the crazy mofos who just hate everybody and everything.”
“I can understand greed. I can’t understand the other.”
He agreed. “Red Wolf will figure out who’s behind this, but keeping you safe is paramount.”
Caitlin ducked her gaze, her teeth scraping her bottom lip. “I can’t believe how close I came to biting the big one. Kinda puts things in perspective real quick.”
“That it does. I remember the first time I got lucky. Just wasn’t my time, I guess.”
She looked up. “Yeah? What happened?”
“Sniper with a bad eye. It was my fault. Early days in my service. Wasn’t paying attention to my surroundings. The next thing I knew, mortar was exploding near my head and a bullet was buried in the wall next to me. If I’d had time I would’ve shit my pants.”
She cracked a reluctant smile. “I’m guessing your guardian angel has put in some serious overtime.”
“I’m fairly certain my guardian angel is a full-blown alcoholic by this point.”
Caitlin laughed, her eyes sparkling with amusement. “But you still manage to keep your sense of humor. That’s an accomplishment. I’m not sure I’d be able to laugh about the things you’ve been through.”
“Sometimes your sense of humor is what keeps you sane,” he admitted, remembering plenty of times when he and his buddies had burst into laughter simply to keep from breaking down. Too many dark memories. He probably needed a shit-ton of therapy, just like everyone employed by Red Wolf. Hell, they couldn’t do what they did without being a little screwed in the head. “At the end of the day, life goes on and you have to find a way to put the day’s events in its place.”
“So, basically, the secret to your success is compartmentalizing,” she said.
He barked a short laugh. “Yeah, I guess so. Don’t spill my secret.”
She made a locking gesture in front of her lips. “Your secret is safe with me.” However, she added, “You know, eventually that stuff rises to the top and comes out twisted. You should probably deal with your emotional trauma at some point.”
“Probably,” he agreed, but that wasn’t happening today. “When I have time, I’ll sit down with a therapist and unload everything I’ve been packing around. Until then, it’s gonna have to wait.”
Red Wolf had the best therapists on staff, not that any of his team members enjoyed making the appointment. Only when mandated did they grudgingly step into that office but he supposed that when he was ready, he’d brave that emotional avalanche.
Thankfully for him, the timing was never right.
* * *
Caitlin peered around the small safe house, feeling oddly disassociated from the situation. She imagined this was what an out-of-body experience felt like, if she believed in that sort of thing, which she didn’t. But in theory, this was how she imagined it would be.
She no longer recognized her life. Everything had been tipped upside down within the space of forty-eight hours. Right now, she should be in her lab, already working on her second cup of coffee.
Instead, she was in a strange house with a virtual stranger, hiding.
Hiding from someone who wanted her dead.
Caitlin suppressed a shudder as the implication ricocheted down her spine. Adventure was overrated. How had she ever thought wistfully about a little more spice in her life? Clearly, she’d had no idea what that actually meant.
Dodging bullets had not been on her radar.
Taking a second chance on a dating profile might’ve been more her speed, or accepting an invitation for drinks and appetizers with a fellow scientist more in line with her expectations.
Of course, two days ago, even doing that would’ve felt like a wild departure from her usual self.
Now?
It seemed absurdly tame.
Boring, even.
“I need to know a little more about you,” she said, trying to find some semblance of normalcy in this messed-up situation. “I’m not in a habit of spending large blocks of time with a stranger and it’s making me anxious. Perhaps if I knew more about you, I’d feel less awkward.”
“What would you like to know?” he said, settling in his chair, seeming open to the idea. “I’ll share whatever I can. Though some stuff might be confidential.”
“Right. Um, well, do you have family?”
“No.”
“No?”
He cleared his throat, clarifying, “I had a sister. She died when she was sixteen. Suicide.”
“Oh, my heavens,” she murmured, distressed at having inadvertently stumbled on something so personal with her first question. “I’m so sorry. That must’ve been devastating.”
“I was overseas when it happened. My sister struggled with depression. Given our upbringing, it wasn’t surprising.”
“Your upbringing?”
“Shit parents, bounced from foster home to foster home. We never knew any stability. Zoey was more affected by it than me. I guess it got to be too much for her.”
Caitlin didn’t have any siblings but she couldn’t imagine losing someone she loved to suicide, especially one so young. She struggled to
find the appropriate words. Everything that came to mind felt trite and not nearly sincere enough. She couldn’t imagine how horrible it must’ve been for him to lose his only family like that. “How did you cope being so far away?” she asked.
“Well, if you ask the Red Wolf shrink, I haven’t dealt with it in any healthy way,” he answered with a slight, self-deprecating smile. “I’m a simple guy. Give me a bad guy to shoot and I’m good.”
She heard the pain behind the glib answer. “You must miss her.”
“It was a long time ago.”
She sensed his sister was a topic that he didn’t invite conversation about but she appreciated his attempt at putting her at ease by answering her questions. Something told her he didn’t let anyone touch that subject.
That tiny sliver of vulnerability touched her in a way she wasn’t ready for. The moment felt important, as if they were suddenly standing at a crossroads together. Pull back, you’ve already gotten too personal. But she wanted to know more. She craved more. All her life she’d listened to that little voice telling her to pull away, to keep to her own bubble but maybe it was time to step outside of her comfort zone, especially given the current circumstances. “Do you have a girlfriend back home? Someone waiting for you after each mission?” she asked boldly. A brush with death had the uncanny ability to muzzle that pesky internal voice most effectively.
Caitlin held her breath, waiting for him to politely defer an answer—it’s what she would’ve done—but he chuckled, shaking his head. “Nope. I’m not really cut out for long-term, if you know what I mean.”
She wasn’t sure what answer she was hoping for but that wasn’t it. “Ah, you like to play,” she inferred, disappointed. “Monogamy must seem terribly boring to someone like you. I mean, someone in your profession.”
“No, not at all. I’m a one-woman kind of man but I work long hours. Sometimes I’m gone for months at a stretch, to different counties. There aren’t a lot of women who are willing to sign on for that gig.”
Caitlin smiled against the ridiculous relief she felt at his clarification even though she had no skin in his game. Clearing her throat, she asked, “Do you ever get lonely?”
Soldier Protector Page 9
