Once we were inside, Tangie pranced around in the kitchen rummaging through the fridge and talking. Took me a second to realize she had on her Bluetooth.
“Just a sec, Val,” she said when she saw us. I wondered if it was Marshall on the line.
“Hey, Georgie! I got the manicure and pedicure sets. Let me know when you’re ready.”
“Okay, I will,” I said. I wished Nikki was here so she could see Tangie just being regular.
But right before I went upstairs, Mama mouthed “thank you” to Tangie the way she did after Tangie babysat us or made us lunch. All I could think about was Tangie’s meanness to us then. I wanted to believe Tangie liked me for real. That she was really proud of me like she’d said. I just didn’t know if that was true.
As soon as I started upstairs, I missed Peaches yelling, “What you bring me?” Even if I didn’t have anything, she’d just say, “Get me something next time, G-baby.” Anytime I left the house without her, it seemed like she’d imagine I was on some magical adventure, complete with fairies, chocolate fountains, and gifts that I could pick from trees. I’d give anything for the two of us to be somewhere like that. This whole world was impossible to imagine without Peaches in it. The knot in my stomach tightened at just the thought of her in a hospital bed with tubes sticking in her arms and no windows that let her see the sky.
I couldn’t even manage to go up to my room right now and see my empty twin bed, so I turned around. Mama darted upstairs, and I went back to the kitchen with Tangie and got a glass of water. I kept wiping my sweaty palms on my shorts. Tangie sat at the breakfast nook and peeled the lid off a cup of yogurt.
“We can get started whenever you want,” Tangie said, digging the spoon in her yogurt and swirling it.
“I’ll be ready in a minute. Going to go put my stuff in my room.” I’d said it, but as soon as I turned around, it was like I hit a cloud of thick smoke. My eyes burned and I just couldn’t breathe. It took me seconds to even feel Tangie’s hand on my shoulder.
“It’s okay if you’re a little sad to go upstairs, you know.”
“Why would I be sad? It’s not like Peaches isn’t coming home,” I snapped.
“Didn’t mean it that way,” Tangie said. “Ready when you are.”
I couldn’t even stop my tone. All I could think about was Mama mouthing “thank you,” to her. All my feelings were a big, jumbled mess.
I went upstairs like it was no big deal. Mama was taking a shower to quickly freshen up. If she were “luxuriating,” the upstairs would smell like pearberry—her favorite Bath & Body Works scent—and Nair.
All the time I was wishing and praying for Tangie to like me, I guess I forgot to add that I wanted her to like me for real–for real. And never would I ever have even thought to ask for her to only like me because my sister was sick.
Now I knew why maybe Tangie didn’t want to cheer anymore. Maybe she couldn’t jump so high because there was the same sinking feeling in her stomach that I had that kept her feet on the ground. Ever since Peaches got sick, there’d never been a moment that I felt like dancing, not even for a second.
After about thirty minutes, Mama was dressed and off to the hospital, leaving me alone with Tangie.
“Georgie,” Tangie called from downstairs while I was checking on Girl. I sprinkled dots of fish food onto the surface of the water.
When I got to the living room, she held up a tiny makeup bag. “Is it okay if we get started?”
“Yeah, I guess,” I muttered.
“You don’t sound excited. What’s up?” She twirled a fingernail file between her fingers.
“I’m hungry.”
“What do you want?”
“Pizza.”
“Did your mama leave pizza money?”
“No,” I said as we walked into the kitchen.
“What about Steak-umm and fries? You can whip up that special sauce you like.”
“It’s mustard and sugar, nothing special. I don’t want that, anyway. I want pizza.” I pouted.
“Okay, okay, pizza it is. I got some money saved…Garden Crust, okay?”
She only ordered from places that made pizza that looked like a salad on a thin slice of bread.
“No, I want Pizza Hut.”
“It’s too greasy, but if that’s what you want, that’s cool. What you want on it?”
“Sausage, pepperoni, and ham.”
“All that meat?”
“On the whole thing. You can pick it off.” I folded my arms and let my weight fall to the side. I probably looked like one of those bendable pencils, but I didn’t care.
She raised her eyebrows and stepped back a little from me. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.”
“Well, I’m not that hungry, anyway.” She glanced at the time on her phone, then placed the order. When she hung up, she said, “It’ll be here in about forty-five minutes. While we’re waiting on it, we could handwash the dishes and use paper plates and cups. What you say I wash and you dry?”
“I don’t feel like washing dishes.” I sat down at the kitchen table.
Tangie sat next to me. “Well, we got to do them before the manicures, that way we won’t mess up our nails.”
I tried to force words out of my lips, but I just shrugged and clasped my hands. Tangie stared at me for a long moment. Then she said, “I get you’re upset about Peaches. Did anything else happen at your friend’s house once you three got back?”
“No…nothing.”
“Are you sure?”
“Very.”
“I didn’t mention a thing,” she said.
“Big whoop.”
We locked eyes.
“Okay. Look, Georgie. I know this is hard on you.”
“And why now are you calling me ‘Georgie’? It’s been Georgiana. All this time, remember?”
“That was me being mean. Seems childish now. I know how hard this is.”
She reached over and touched my shoulder, and I flinched like she was Millipede. I bit the inside of my jaw to keep my lips from quivering. It burned me up that Nikki was right about Tangie not liking me for real.
“I’m tired of everyone saying they know how hard it is and treating me like a baby.”
“Nobody means any harm. Peaches would want you—”
“Don’t tell me nothing about what my sister would want!” I shouted, and banged my fist on the table. “You don’t know her or me. You don’t even like us. Peaches knows you don’t. Since we’ve been here, you’ve done nothing but treat us like bugs. Bedbugs. Now you’re trying to be nice. You’re a big faker! A big, phony faker.”
“A big faker?”
“You’re in high school. You know what ‘faker’ means.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You’ll never like us because your real sister is in heaven.”
As soon as I said it, I wished I could snatch it back. Tangie’s head lowered like she was saying a prayer. When she looked up at me, water pooled in her eyes.
“That’s not true, Georgie.”
“No one wants to tell me what is true,” I said, trying to forget how much I wanted to trust her.
Just that second, Frank walked into the kitchen carrying a bag of groceries with a loaf of bread sticking out of the top. Without a doubt he was in on it, too, so I jetted past him and stomped upstairs, shaking the African mask Mama had on the wall.
I slammed my door and plopped on my bed. As soon as I stared up at my starless ceiling, I missed the fluorescent twinkles in Nikki’s room. While her daddy was busy painting stars on her ceiling, mine was off somewhere with the Millipede. Yeah, sure, he bought our old house back, but that was just like Tangie’s fake niceness now—guilt. Didn’t matter. As soon as enough time had passed, both of them would be back to their regular old selves. At any moment, I expected Frank and Tangie to come knocking, but I didn’t hear a sound.
So what if Tangie doesn’t like me for real? From now on, I’d focus on bein
g a better big sister to my real sister.
I got off my bed and wandered over to Peaches’s, wishing I could erase all the times I didn’t want her in my room. And even though I didn’t say it to her all the time, I’d be telling a big, fat story if I said I wasn’t thinking it a lot.
I plopped my head on Peaches’s pillow, and it sunk right in. My hand touched something underneath her pillow. It was The Princess and the Frog. I opened the book and read, “Tiana works hard. She has no time for fun.” I couldn’t help thinking of all the times Peaches wanted me to read to her, but all I wanted to do was get to Tangie. I slammed the book shut and slid it back underneath Peaches’s pillow.
Then—knock, knock.
“Georgie, can I come in?” Tangie asked.
“No!” I shouted. “You’re a faker. Go away!”
My lips trembled, but I was ready to call her a faker again.
I stomped as hard as I could back to my bed. So I wouldn’t have to hear her knock again, I put on my headphones and turned my iPod up as loud as it would go. Then I yanked the cover up over my head.
That still wasn’t enough to block out the sound of the knocking. And when I didn’t answer, the door opened and Frank’s deep voice bounced off the walls.
I’d done it now.
“Georgie. What’s the matter?” Frank said as he sat down on the bed and nudged my shoulder.
I didn’t say a word, even as my bed rocked when Tangie sat on the other corner of it. “I’ll do the dishes. No problem,” she said.
“That’s thoughtful of you, but I don’t think this is about doing the dishes. Take the cover off your head, please, Georgie,” Frank said.
I sat up and dropped my headphones around my neck.
“I should have understood she didn’t feel well, Dad. I told you she was okay,” Tangie said.
“Georgie, I’m waiting,” Frank said.
“I didn’t feel like her telling me what to do. That’s all.”
He darted his eyes between us. “Well, nobody is themselves lately, so I understand. We all have to work on holding it together and not losing our tempers with each other,” he said to me, and glanced at Tangie.
“’Kay,” I said.
When the doorbell rang, Frank asked, “You girls expecting somebody?”
“Too soon for the pizza guy,” Tangie said.
Frank peered out of my curtains. “One of my bowling buddies,” Frank said. “Coming!” He jogged downstairs.
Tangie’s eyelids closed and opened slowly like she was trying to bring me into focus. As soon as she glanced at me, I looked away. I wasn’t a “big baby” like Nikki thought, so I had to keep Tangie from fooling me. It was possible for her to be sad about Peaches but still not really like me–like me.
“Dad’s worried about you,” Tangie said.
“He’s not my dad,” I said. “He’s your dad. Just like this is your house.”
“But this house is your house, too. And I’m sure my dad wants to be a good stepdad.”
“Maybe he does. He tries hard just like my mom tries hard to be nice to you. But you…you’ve treated Peaches and me lower than dirt.”
She fluttered her eyelids like I’d blown sand in her face.
“I didn’t mean to.” She reached out to touch my arm. I backed away.
“Don’t lie!” I heard the word that I’m always telling Peaches not to use fly from my tongue, and I didn’t care. “You knew what you were doing when you slammed the door in our face. I could take it, but you really hurt Peaches. She didn’t understand why a person older than us would be so mean. We didn’t ask to be here.”
Tangie clasped her hands together and brought them to her forehead. She shook her head and sighed before letting her hands drop to her side. “You’re right. You, me, or Peaches really didn’t have a choice in any of this. But I’m the oldest. I should have handled myself better. When Peaches comes home—”
“No. Don’t use my sister! Don’t say how you’re going to be nicer or whatever. You don’t mean it. You’re only being nice to me ’cause she’s sick. And you’re only pretending like you want to be nice to her, too, just in case she goes to heaven like your sister.”
I didn’t know tears were streaming until I tasted the saltiness of them on my tongue. I wiped my eyes with the edge of my blanket.
Tangie’s face scrunched up like I’d slapped her. “Don’t say that, Georgie. Please.”
She wasn’t fooling me with that surprised look. I hated that she thought I was some silly little girl who couldn’t put two and two together.
“I’m not stupid. You’ve never wanted anything to do with us. You’re only doing the nails and stuff because you’re getting something out of it. My mama is paying you because you’re helping them keep secrets.”
Tangie shook her head. “Your mama isn’t paying me a dime. And what secrets do you think we’re keeping?”
“That Peaches might never come home. Nobody is telling me the truth.” Just saying the words aloud made it feel like the floor gave way and we were falling. It was like being on one of those scary amusement rides except it was going to go on for the rest of your life.
“Oh my goodness,” Tangie said.
I scooted closer to the wall. “And keep your pizza. I’m not hungry.”
“Look at me, G-baby.”
I didn’t move.
She rocked my side, but not with enough force to turn me toward her. “Please, look at me,” she said.
Don’t really be a baby, I told myself, and turned around.
“Peaches is gonna get better. She’s coming home. Dr. Harris said that taking Peaches to the hospital right away helped save her life. But I know what it’s like when grown-ups keep you out of the loop. My dad and aunts didn’t tell me about my sister for days. They even kept my mom’s condition from me.”
“Then you do think they’re hiding something.”
“I don’t know, Georgie. Your mom did talk to me.”
“Then she is going to die.” My head hit the wall. I wanted it to come tumbling down. Tangie grabbed my shoulders before I could do it again.
“No, no. Stop that,” Tangie said. “She’s not. You gotta believe that I’d be honest about that. But your mom said that she won’t be a hundred percent.”
“She said that to me, too. But I don’t know what that means.”
“That’s because she doesn’t know. Not even the doctors know sometimes.”
“It must be serious for them to say it. I’m not stupid. Nobody’s a hundred percent after they’ve been so sick. But then you get better and it’s like you were never sick at all.”
I thought about after Nikki had her tonsils out Mama let me go over and visit her. She didn’t talk above a whisper. Sometimes I had to lean in real close to hear what she had to say. But, next thing I knew, she was back to screaming at the top of her lungs.
“Well, that’s just it, Georgie. Sometimes the person never gets to be a hundred percent, physically anyway. Your mother told me that there may be some ‘lasting effects.’ She may never be like the Peaches we were used to.”
“I asked my mama if she meant that Peaches wouldn’t be able to walk or something?” I felt my stomach somersault and my eyes well again.
“Don’t think they know exactly what will happen right now.”
“I mean…but even…even if she couldn’t walk or something wouldn’t she be the same Peaches on the inside? She’ll still love me, right?”
“Of course!”
“Why you think my mama is protecting me from that? Aren’t you supposed to love someone even when they’re not at a hundred percent?”
“Yeah,” Tangie said. “Maybe even more,” she added, but turned her head away from me a little. “I would have loved Morgan no matter how she came back to us.”
I didn’t say anything else but just sat with Tangie for a while and listened to the birds chirping. They were happy now, but would be just as sad as those lonely crickets when the day went away.
<
br /> As Tangie got up to go back in her room, she said, “Do you need anything?”
I shook my head. “I’m sorry for what I said, Tangie. I know you miss your sister a lot.”
“Thanks,” she said.
“Can I…?”
“What?”
“Can I see more pictures of her?”
She wiped her eyes with the heel of her hand. “Maybe another time,” she said. I didn’t speak, just nodded like she could hear it. Before she opened the door she said, “Do you really want to?”
“If it’s okay,” I said. I sat up hoping she’d tell me she’d be back with the pictures.
“Well, you coming?”
“In your room?” I asked, putting my feet on the floor.
“That’s where they are,” she said, and opened the door.
As soon as I stepped in her room, I caught a whiff of strawberries. Maybe it was the same as before, but I was so scared when she caught me, I couldn’t remember nothing but the sound of Morgan’s picture hitting the floor.
She pointed to her bed. “Have a seat. I keep one of my mama’s old photo albums up here.”
She reached for the top shelf in her closet. I quickly eyed the rest of it and decided to make sure all my clothes were neatly folded and hung up on hangers, too. Once she got it down, she sat next to me. Resting the album on our legs, she opened it and started from the first page. “Morgan wasn’t even born yet. It was just Dad, Mom, and me,” she said.
When she got to pictures of her sister and mama, she ran her fingertips over them like it helped her see them better.
“I even got a few of her the night before it happened, but it’s still too hard to look at them.”
“How’d it happen, Tangie?”
Soon as I said it, I bit my tongue. I was sure Tangie was going to toss me out. I’d heard the words “car accident,” but that’s as much as anyone ever said.
It took her a little while to answer. I kept my lips glued shut.
“Morgan was seven and made the junior gymnastics team. Mom was taking her to an early morning practice. Morgan woke me up and asked me to go with them. I told her I was tired and she could do the routine for me when she came home.” Tangie’s voice cracked. I reached out and rubbed her back in small circles like Mama would do with Peaches and me.
Love Like Sky Page 13
