by Jennifer Ann
“Talk about what?” he roars, spinning around. “The fact that you’re hiding behind your career so you don’t have to deal with the way you feel about me?” All at once he’s pulling me tight against his hard chest, and I’m unable to breathe. “I can see it every time I look into your eyes, Sofia! There’s something there—I feel it too! I get that you’re worried about the attorney-client relationship and I respect it, but soon that will all be done! So can we stop with the fucking act already and face this head-on?”
Desire overwhelms me as my response becomes lodged in my throat. There’s no denying that I want him in every way possible, but when pressed on the issue, I all at once realize my excuse goes beyond professionalism. It started back in high school, when Bobby made me vulnerable. It only became worse when I allowed myself to try a relationship in law school, thinking I had a good thing with Spencer until I became too scared of the unknown. Although Nolan and Sharlo are tight, it seems she hasn’t told him about my darkest secrets. How do I explain that I’m damaged goods without sounding pathetic?
I’ve spent the last six years working on building a respectable career. Once Spencer was out of the picture, I promised myself that I wouldn’t let another man get in the way, and would only use them for a good time. Nolan’s a rich playboy who could have his choice of women. Who’s to say he wouldn’t grow bored with me after a few months and move along?
With the sound of muffled laughter, I glance away from Nolan to discover a group of people staring. Pulling my hand away from his, I take a step back.
“Tonight was supposed to be about a harmless game,” I say in a calm, even tone that doesn’t match the rapid beats of my heart. “I’m sorry if you misunderstood it to mean something more. I’m taking a cab back to the hotel. I expect by morning we’ll both have sobered up and can put this incident behind us so I can continue to act as your attorney in this transaction.” Looking back into his beautiful eyes, I touch his arm briefly and say, “I wish you nothing but the best.”
Then, with a sadness so severe it nearly cripples me, I walk away from the best thing that has come into my life.
In the days to follow the disastrous trip to Vegas, I bury myself at the office with incoming cases. I receive a message from the relator, saying she found an apartment for rent in Brooklyn Heights near Charlie and Evelyn’s place, and it’s within my price range. Though it’s dangerously close to Leona’s, I have no plans to visit there again any time soon, so I sign the lease.
Besides, choosing to live in Brooklyn Heights for a time has nothing to do with Nolan. We haven’t spoken since returning to New York, except for a few curt emails involving correspondence from the attorneys in Vegas.
Keeping myself busy has been the only way to avoid dwelling on my decision to push Nolan as far away as possible. So when it comes time for Sharlo’s baby shower on Saturday morning, I’m a psychotic wreck. Since Nolan’s hosting the party, I know I’ll be forced to interact with him in person instead of behind the safety of a computer screen.
While putting final touches on my hair in Sharlo’s guest bathroom, the need to spew becomes overwhelming.
“Are you nearly ready, love?” Sharlo sings from the hallway, lightly tapping on the door. “Your brother insists we leave the moment Katie arrives incase we run into a rush of weekend traffic. I swear that one’s letting his protective side get the better of him again. I’m afraid he’s turning into the star of one of those ridiculous rom-coms where the husband forgets the wife and brings her overnight bag to the hospital.”
Setting the curling iron down, I sigh loudly and slump against the wall behind me. “Would you hate me if I said I was feeling too ill to make it to your shower?” I close my eyes and wince, waiting for her reply.
A second later the door opens to Sharlo standing with one hand on her hip, eyebrows almost comically low. I’ve never seen such a beautiful pregnant woman in all my life. Though she looks ready to topple over from the size of her round belly, her cheeks are flushed and she’s glowing. And the way her hair hangs in lose curls, sides braided and held behind her head with bobby pins, one would think she’s Victoria’s Secret model ready to take the runway. The lace maxi dress she wears, cut out in the back and double thigh slit in the front, is something I recognize from their rock couture line and classic Sharlo.
“You look amazing,” I say with sincerity.
“You’re only saying that because you’re afraid to tell someone so bloody emotional she cries at toilet paper commercials that she looks as if an alien is about to burst from her stomach.” Studying my makeup and hair, her lips draw up with a scowl. “What’s this then about feeling under the weather? Have a case of post-business-trip-with-a-handsome-millionaire blues?”
I cross my arms and scowl back at her. “Why do you have to be so damn perceptive?”
“Because it will soon be my job as a mum to ensure my loved ones are taken care of, and I don’t want to cock it up the way my mum did. If my child grows up emotionally damaged, I want to blame society and the nutters running this country.” Reaching out to grab each of my wrists, her expression softens with a smile. “Now tell me, dear sister-to-be, what is it about Nolan that has your knickers in a twist? He tells me it’s finally over with Avery. While her response was borderline psychotic, he’s very much a free agent. I know you have a sensitive history when it comes to men, but you can trust Nolan. He’s one of the good ones.”
“I know he is. And I’m unquestionably attracted to him. It’s just he’s still a client—”
“Don’t you dare start with that rubbish,” she warns sharply, pushing her thumbs into my wrists.
“—and I’m not sure that I want to get involved with anyone at this point in my career,” I finish in a stern tone. “Especially when intimacy beyond a casual hookup with someone I care about is a completely foreign concept.”
My god, I guess I am capable of vocalizing my true feelings. It probably has everything to do with the way Sharlo’s personality demands nothing less than the honest truth. Since arriving in New York, I’ve come to fully appreciate how easily my little sister was persuaded into moving from our farm in Minnesota to live with Sharlo when they had never met in person.
“I don’t believe there’s ever an ideal time for this sort of thing,” Sharlo says. “James was dealing with your father’s unsolved murder while I was unknowingly being stalked by my father’s associate, but we still found time for love. And Charlie was at the lowest point in his career when your sister fell on his doorstep and was nearly killed by a nutter fan, but nothing could stop them from falling madly in love in less time than it takes to capture the perfect selfie.” She releases my wrists to fuss with my hair. “It’s not something you can mark down on your calendar. And the intimacy thing will sort itself out. Don’t be afraid to tell him you want to take things slow.”
Her repeated mention of the word love has my stomach doing flips. That can’t be what I’m feeling for Nolan, can it?
My jaw quivers a little when I whisper, “I don’t want him to think I’m weak.”
“So don’t fill him in on the sordid details straightaway. You’re one of the strongest women I know, Sofia. I won’t stand here and pretend getting involved with a man is all sunshine and fucking rainbows, especially as you’ve seen first-hand how ridiculous emotions can get in the way and nearly destroy everything the way it did for both me and Evelyn. Everything about the experience can be so terrifying that you’ll find yourself wondering if you completely lost your mind when you agreed to become involved with someone so complex. You may end up having your heart smashed into a million pieces, or be forced to shave your head and join a modern-day hippie commune, but you mustn’t continue to live your life being afraid of the one thing that makes it worth living.”
Tilting my head back, I stare at the textured ceiling and relax my shoulders. “Damn it, you already have this motherhood thing down to a science. Even though I’m incredibly annoyed with you, what you’re saying makes p
erfect sense, so I’m sure I’ll end up taking your advice.” When I swing my head back down to look at her, I grin. “That’s exactly how it was between me and my mom when I was a surly teenager.”
James appears behind Sharlo, casting a giant shadow over us. Despite having lightened up since meeting her, concern for his pregnant wife-to-be has been weighing his features down in recent days, making him appear angry. And since he started training overtime for his big fight, he’s been incredibly moody. It reminds me of how he was in high school after he was forced to keep the secrets of what Bobby did to me.
“What’s going on in here?” he asks.
Sharlo spins around and they naturally mold into one another the way they always do, as if they were meant to fit together. As much as I like to complain about their public display of affection, I have to admit having someone who wanted to be with me in that way would add a welcome layer of warmth to my mundane existence. Could I have that with Nolan?
“Girl talk, sweetheart,” Sharlo says, standing on her toes to give him a brief peck on the lips. “No need to worry that fit head of yours, we were just headed out to the car. And as much as I’m ready to evict this little bundle of joy, I’m not going into labor anytime soon, so you can quit with the worried bit.”
“Katie’s just pulled in,” James says, looking between the two of us. “We should go.”
We find Charlie’s blonde fireball of a sister waiting in the kitchen. Though she’s several years older than her brother, she could easily pass as one of the gang with her youthful looks and boundless energy. It took me awhile to warm up to her at first, but I’ve started to get a kick out of her spirit and see her as part of the family.
“Oh my god, you’re literally glowing!” she tells Sharlo, kissing her cheek before cradling her friend’s swollen belly. “You look gorgeous, Shar!”
“I simply cannot wait until everyone stops rubbing my belly like I’m bloody Buddha,” Shar mutters, rolling her eyes my way.
On the ride to the city, Katie keeps the conversation lively. I’m lost in my thoughts, wondering if I’m ready to open my heart to the idea of love. It’s far easier resolving not to get emotionally involved with anyone beyond a good orgasm. And I am strong, only because I’ve resolved not to put myself out there. I’m terrified Nolan Zimmerman has the power to destroy the side of me that refuses to let a man dictate my happiness.
Once James drops us off curbside to the swanky restaurant in lower Manhattan, and Nolan appears in the restaurant doorway wearing a crisp navy blue suit with a cream dress shirt underneath, his gorgeous eyes gaging my reaction, I realize it’s already too late to worry about what could happen.
Clips of happy memories from the past three weeks come flooding back to me— visits with his grandmother, hanging out in his apartment while drinking beer and eating pizza, the trip to Vegas before I screwed it up. I realize with blinding clarity that I’m already invested in him as more than a client. Or a friend.
The beautiful, bearded man staring back at me has become something much more.
Chapter 11
NOLAN
The reluctance going through Sofia’s beautiful blond head is plain as day when her piercing blue eyes lock with mine. I break the tension to look down at the billowing dress she’s wearing that accentuates her tone legs and matches the hue of her eyes. God, she’s gorgeous no matter what she wears.
Meeting her gaze again, I fight the urge to at the very least kiss her cheek. The way things played out in Vegas, I don’t want to push her any more than I already have. But I still want her in a bad fucking way.
She greets me with a shy smile. “Hi.”
“Hi. You look beautiful,” I say as my throat becomes tight. Then I step past her to kiss Sharlo on the cheek. “And you look ravishing. Being a mommy looks good on you.”
“Just wait until I’m up at three a.m., covered in feces,” she replies with a short laugh. “Then we’ll see how being a mum looks.”
I nod Katie’s way. “You look beautiful as always.”
“Such a charmer, this one,” Katie replies playfully, stepping forward to pat my shoulder. “Where are the mimosas?”
Laughing, I invite them inside. Sharlo hooks her arm through Sofia’s and starts for the door as I’m bumping knuckles with James. I try my damnedest to avert my gaze away from Sofia as she passes, but it’s hard not to stare at her soft curls and the way a light application of makeup makes her face glow. She’s like a chameleon, able to change her looks to suit her environment, and I can’t get enough of any of them.
“Anything we can do to help?” Sharlo asks once we’re all inside.
“Everything’s set,” I say, smoothing my beard with one hand. “The decorating crew left ten minutes ago and the catering company is ready to roll. We can head up to the rooftop and wait for your guests to arrive. The hostess has been told to send them on upstairs.”
When the four of them turn toward the open stairway, I gently encircle my fingers around Sofia’s wrist. Her pink little lips part with a quiet gasp and her eyes flicker down to my hand.
“Can I steal you for a minute?” I ask.
She looks after the others thoughtfully before her gaze locks with mine. “O-okay.”
I lead her to the small stone patio in the alley out back beneath unlit lights, strewn wall-to-wall, and artificial potted plants strategically placed throughout that add a splash of bright color. It’s cozy and romantic, and since the restaurant is exclusively ours for the next three hours, it provides the ultimate privacy.
I avoid the little round tables and stop beside a stone wall instead, leaning against it and crossing my arms. Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath before opening them again. “I want to apologize for the way I spoke to you in Vegas. It was rude, especially when we had an audience. I had no right to leave things that way.”
Her perfectly arched eyebrows rise. “No apology necessary. I wasn’t exactly kind in my response. There was no excuse for me to treat you with that level of disrespect.”
“I’ve missed you, Sofia. Like a son of a bitch.” My breath locks in my chest. “Since you moved to the city, I’ve had the best time of my life, and I don’t want it to end.”
Her lips bend with a warm smile. “Me either.”
“Does that mean we’re good?” I ask, feeling my lips also spread with ease.
“I’d say we’re even,” she replies, matching my smile. “How’s Leona? I’ve missed seeing her too.”
“She’s…been better.” I rub at the back of my neck, remembering the last conversation with Crestford yesterday afternoon. I’ve been too busy preparing for this shower and James’s fight to stop in and check on her. “She’s been sleeping more than usual and doesn’t have much of an appetite.”
“I’d like to go see her again. Maybe we could go Monday after I’m done working?”
I nod, pushing a soundless chuckle through my nose. I’m pretty sure a better woman than Sofia Kendall doesn’t exist.
“Where do we go from here?” I ask, gazing into her beautiful eyes.
Taking a few steps in her sexy high heels, she closes the gap between us so she’s nearly straddling my legs. My pulse trips into double-time when she’s close enough to touch, close enough to swim in her beautiful scent. Her eyelids lower when she watches her hand settle on top of my arms. My dick hardens with her touch, and so help me, I want to brush my lips over her sweet little mouth.
“We wait until this Vegas deal is finalized,” she tells me, “then I’m taking you out to dinner. As my date.”
My mouth opens and closes several times as I try to process what she’s saying.
Her lips bite down on a giggle that’s lost in her throat. “Don’t look at me like that. You’re a good man who deserves a fair chance. If you can promise me that things are truly over with Avery, the only thing holding us back is my demanding job…and a slight fear of intimacy.”
A fear of intimacy would explain a lot of her reluctance. There’s no way
I’d take Avery back at this point, especially after all the angry messages she left on my phone when she returned to the city last night. I became so annoyed that I blocked her number.
“I’ll let you set the pace,” I tell Sofia. “I won’t push you into doing anything that makes you uncomfortable.”
A long sigh falls from her lips. “Don’t make the mistake of thinking I’m a prude. I’m all for having fun with you—in every way possible.” Her eyes darken behind her long lashes. “In fact, as soon as we get the green light, I’m dying to kiss you. I’m just not sure how functional I’ll be when it comes to commitment. I don't have the best track record with men.”
I slip one of my hands out from beneath her touch and lace our fingers together. Her beautiful eyes widen before taking on a drunken haze. She leans in closer until our foreheads touch, her body softening against me like putty. With my other hand, I trace a path up and down her arm. When her skin breaks out in goosebumps, she hums quietly.
“You want to kiss me?” I ask, my voice all at once husky.
“Not yet,” she whispers, her voice equally thick with longing. “You’re still my client. But the way you kissed that woman in Vegas…”
“There’s no one around. It’s just you and me. I won’t say anything if you don’t.”
“Nolan…”
“Come on, counselor.” Wrapping a hand in the silky curls behind her head, I draw my lips down so they’re by her ear and whisper, “I dare you.”
Breaths staggered, her nails dig into my arm. “I’m afraid once we start, there won’t be anything to stop us.”
“Except the party waiting upstairs of which I’m the host,” I remind her, chuckling. “Just one harmless little kiss…it’s all I’m asking.”
With a sweet little moan, her resolve finally breaks. She brushes her soft lips over mine, slow and tentative, then pauses with our lips still touching, our breaths collectively heavy. I know I should be the stronger one and back away since she already gave me what I asked for, but the taste of her minty lips has me wanting more.
