by Jennifer Ann
Though I’ve never done anything close to this intimate, for some reason it feels right. I’d crawl up inside him if I could to take on some of the hurt. Watching him breakdown creates a crater sized hole in my chest, nearly too painful to bear. I remain in his lap for countless minutes before a young nurse steps into the room. Nolan stops crying when he realizes we’re not alone, and I slide back off his lap while she checks Leona’s vitals.
“I’m so sorry for your loss,” she tells Nolan as he’s wiping his face. “I’ll give you a moment of privacy.”
“I’m sorry,” I tell Nolan when we’re alone again. “Do you want to sit with her a little longer?”
“I need to get out of here,” he says, bolting to his feet. “I need to make arrangements for the services, and her things—”
“You don’t need to do everything right away,” I insist, standing at his side. “Give yourself time to let it sink in…to grieve.”
His eyes, red-rimmed and still filled with tears, pass between me and his grandma. It truly breaks my heart to see him so upset. “Take me home.”
“Okay,” I say, nodding slowly.
When he bends to kiss her forehead, whispering his final goodbye, my heart twists even more. I take his hand and lead him down to the parking garage where I open his door and shut it behind him. He’s understandably quiet on the short ride to his apartment where Jarvis takes the car and asks me with a whisper if Nolan’s alright.
“He will be,” I say, patting the kind old man’s arm.
Once we make it up to the open apartment, Nolan stands with his hands braced against the island counter, staring idly at the record collection across the room. I’d like to say I can’t imagine what he’s feeling, but having lost two parents at a young age, I know exactly the kind of wretched sorrow he’s experiencing. While I separated myself with my family members each time to mourn in my own way, I don’t want Nolan to have to go through that kind of isolation.
I move forward to stand at his side and stroke his arm. “Are you hungry? Can I make you something to eat?”
For a moment he’s still. Then, his other hand crosses his chest, stopping my fingers. Turning to face me, he squeezes my hand before touching his forehead to mine. “Thank you.”
“I just wish there was more I could do,” I admit in a wavering voice.
“Having you there…it meant everything.”
Setting a hand on the back of his thick neck, I close my eyes and brush my lips over his. I mean it to be a consoling kiss, a way to show him how much I care, but his lips take over with longer, eager strokes. Before long his hands are clutching my face and he’s releasing himself on me, his mouth and tongue starved for more as the coarse hairs of his beard scratch my upper lip.
With a warm glow spreading across my belly, making me achy for his touch, I wrap my arms around him, answering the kiss with as much fervor. When he pushes into me, pinning me against the island, I moan inside his mouth, feeling how badly he wants me by the impression of his cock against my stomach.
My god, I want him in the worst way too, but I feel like an asshole for letting him do this when he’s hurting.
“Nolan,” I plead against his lips, head spinning, mouth raw from his beard. Do I stop him? What if he misunderstands when I tell him this isn’t a good time and it completely defuses his ego? What if this is something he needs to feel?
I completely forgo my hesitation when his knee pushes my legs apart. He kisses me again, wrangling the zipper on my jeans before slipping two fingers past the material covering my throbbing center. Shock waves rock my body when I lean into his touch, gasping inside his mouth. His fingers gently work against my clit, soliciting a wide range of moans from my throat and drenching my panties.
“I’ve wanted to touch you like this for so goddamned long,” he pants against my mouth. “Please, let me do this. You make me so hard, Sofia. Let me feel the pleasure of coming inside that beautiful body.”
I didn’t realize how badly I had been craving Nolan to say such a thing until I’m nodding emphatically against his mouth. Next thing I know he’s swooping me off my feet and carrying me down the hallway while planting kisses along my jaw and neck. I’m so filled with glee that I’m nearly weeping by the time he sets me on his bed.
What happens next is something that will forever be emblazoned in my memory. His heavy gaze pins me down as he sheds his clothing, one taunting item at a time until he’s gloriously naked for my greedy eyes to devour. Maybe I’m biased because by now I’ve realized I’ve fallen head-over-heels for him, but I’ve never seen anything as stunning as the bearded man standing proud before me, strained hard-on held in his hand. Routine visits to the gym have made his beautiful body lean and muscular from his broad shoulders all the way down to his firm calves. And his long, thick cock is every bit as impressive, sending a shudder down to my toes.
Swallowing the swell of desire burning inside my throat, I hum with appreciation. “Damn, Nolan. Just…damn.”
His lips waver with a slight smile before he grabs a condom from the night stand and slides it on. When he starts for me, I brace myself against the mattress. After seeing him in all his divine, deliciously hot glory, I’m suddenly shy about baring my less-than perfect body. Why couldn’t I have joined a gym when I first came to the city, or at least taken up running?
My insides become a swell of molten lava when he hooks his fingers in the waist of my jeans and begins pulling them down until my black laced panties are exposed. The mere wisp of air meeting my swollen slit has me arching my back in anticipation of what’s to come. Crossing my arms over myself, I grab the ends of my shirt and lift with growing hesitation before releasing my ponytail. Nolan deposits my jeans on the floor and crawls over me on his hands and knees, a wild look in his eye with the sight of my breasts spilling from my black bra.
“God, you’re beautiful,” he says, filling his hands with them and brushing his thumbs over their swells. Then he releases the front clasp on my bra and pulls the straps off my shoulders, giving him unrestricted access to my pebbled nipples. Lust overwhelms me when I hear a little growl in the base of his throat. He takes one in his mouth, tweaking the other with his thick fingers. I twist and moan beneath him, thrusting my hips with the sparking sensation between my legs.
“I need to feel you,” I whisper, reaching up to tangle my fingers in his hair. “Fuck, Nolan, I can’t take it any longer.”
I’m mad with longing by the time he’s pulled my panties off and lays on top of me, pressing his hard, sheathed length against my thigh. Our lips and tongues join together once more as his fingers sink into my wet warmth, toying with my clit and spreading my arousal. I clutch his arm, digging my fingers into his corded wrist.
“I want your cock,” I plead against his mouth. “Please, oh god…you’re going to make me come so hard and I want you inside of me when it happens.”
Finally he’s pushing his soft tip through my opening. I brace myself when it feels as if he’ll split me open with his girth.
“Am I hurting you?” he asks.
Shaking my head, I grind my teeth together, waiting for the burning sensation to pass until I’m able to take him all the way in and pain morphs into mind-blowing pleasure.
“You feel so good, Sof,” he says among a groan. “So tight…and warm.”
I hesitate for a moment, wanting to tell him to take the condom off so we can really feel each other, but then he pulls out and thrusts inside of me again. Stars burst behind my eyelids as a shiver-provoking warmth makes its way from my belly to my clit. I can hardly breathe or think as he continues to move inside of me, kissing my neck and my breasts between groans of content.
It’s been so long and he feels so good. I’m spiraling downward into a pit of satisfaction so quickly that I feel the beginning spark of my climax way too soon. I wrap my legs around his waist and cling to him with all I’ve got, riding out the sensational feeling until I feel as if I’ll pass out.
“God, Nolan,�
� I moan, dragging my nails down his bare back. He smells so damn good and he’s fucking me with so much confidence and determination that I tumble over the edge, wailing against his shoulder and biting down into his warm flesh. My entire body tingles with my release, making me hold on to Nolan even tighter.
“Jesus, I won’t last much longer the way you’re squeezing me,” Nolan tells me between gritted teeth.
He’s soon piggybacking my orgasm, thrusting into me so hard that he taps my sensitive clit and I feel as if I might come once more. But then he’s collapsing at my side with a hand draped over my stomach, unmoving except for the steady rise and fall of his chest. As soon as I catch my breath, I lean over him on my elbow and pepper his face with several slow kisses.
“Are you alright?” I ask gently, trying to meet his gaze.
“That was fucking spectacular,” he mutters, burying his face in the crook of my neck. “Next time I promise to last longer.”
“Are you kidding me? I can’t remember the last time I had an orgasm during sex. Normally the guy gets off and it’s over. That definitely knocked it out of the park for me too.”
He doesn’t say anything more as he ties a knot in the condom and wraps it in a tissue beside the bed. Since I don’t want to push him into talking about his feelings if he’s not ready, because I’m not sure what to say anyway, I let him slip his arms around me and drift off to sleep.
Chapter 13
NOLAN
My eyes open to the most spectacular sight. Sofia Kendall. Naked. In my bed.
It seems after all these years of wanting the beautiful woman, finally making love to her could only be some kind of self-torturous dream. Yet here she lies next to me, sleeping peacefully with her blond hair spread out across her creamy white shoulder, looking surprisingly vulnerable and innocent. The way her skin felt under my fingertips, the way her scent embraced me like a floral cloud, the way she squeezed my cock, it was un-fucking-real.
She was only somewhat hesitant when I first kissed her, and she most certainly didn’t hold back once we were undressed. Does this mean she’s past all that other “friends” bullshit and we have a real shot at starting a future together? I can’t imagine moving on with another woman, even if Sofia turned out to be someone different from what I’ve imagined. She’s strong, confident, and unwilling to bend to other’s needs. Hell, I was actually glad when she had been straight up with me about having intimacy issues.
But does that mean she’ll struggle in committing to something more than a good time? And what if she only did this as a pity fuck? Could that really be all this was to her after all we’ve been through?
Rolling away from her to my back, I stare up at my lofted ceiling and begin to tick through the list of things that have to be done in the next few days. Arrangements will have to be made for Grams’s body as well as her things. I’ll have to consider either having James’s former boxing trainer step into my place tonight or have the fight postponed since there’s no way in hell I can give James the attention he deserves. I’m sure Crestford informed my parents, though I suppose I should call to make sure, even if having a conversation with my mother will be nearly as painful as discovering Grams had passed.
I quietly slip from the bed and retrieve my phone from my pants pocket to call my mother from the living room. Just when I think she’s not going to answer, I hear her heavy breaths. Is she seriously fucking crying?
“Mom?”
“Nolan. Hello, darling.” She says with a pant. I wait for her to ask me how I’ve been or how I’m dealing with the news since we last spoke over a month ago. She had only reached out to me as Grams’s power of attorney since she was looking for an advanced loan on her share of the trust.
“Did Crestford call you?” I finally ask when she doesn’t offer anything more.
“Yes. Your father and I are simply heartbroken. I’ve already been in contact with the funeral home and Father Jenkins. The viewing and service are set for tomorrow evening at the church. She’ll be laid to rest at Woodlawn.”
Fuck! Pulling my phone away from my ear, I resist the need to launch it across the fucking room. Although my mother became a church-goer after marrying my Catholic dad, Grams was never religious and didn’t belong to any church. If anything, she leaned towards Buddhism. Before her memory began to slip, she told me she wanted to be cremated and have a memorial service at the bar. But by the time her attorneys had prepared the amendment to her will, her Alzheimers had progressed to the point that they declared she was no longer of “sound mind.”
I take a calming breath before placing my phone back against my ear. “You know that’s not what she wanted. Besides, I was appointed as her personal representative. I’m the one who’s supposed to execute her will.”
“I believe I know what’s best for my mother.”
“That’s the point. You don’t. You never did. After you graduated from high school, you didn’t know her beyond a source of income.”
“How dare you make such accusations!”
“When’s the last time you visited her?”
There’s a rustling from her end of the phone and I hear her say in a muffled voice, “Christopher, get off of me. I’m speaking to our son.”
My stomach surges when I realize she was out of breath because I caught them having sex. They’re probably celebrating the large sum of cash headed their way.
There’s more shuffling noises before she asks, “Nolan, what is going on with you and Avery? She called me the other night, as upset as I’ve ever heard her, poor thing. She said you were trying to break up with her. I told her that’s ridiculous, that you wouldn’t seriously end the best thing that’s ever happened to you, and that you probably just needed some time to yourself.”
I feel my face turn dark red. This is so fucking typical. For as far back as I can remember my mother’s been trying to control me, manipulating my life for “what’s best,” even if it meant ending my friendships and transferring me to new schools only a month before summer break. I used to pray at night that Grams would fight for legal custody of me, but it never happened. Instead she gave me things to look forward to, like skipping school for concerts and going backstage to meet some of my greatest musical icons of the century.
Clutching my phone, I growl out, “God dammit, Mom, what happened between me and Avery is none of your business. You need to stay out of it.”
“But she said you were to be engaged soon!”
“She turned into a complete psychopath after I told her we’re through! I’m not considering breaking it off with her, it’s done! End of discussion!” Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath. “If Avery calls again, tell her to fuck off and get professional help. I’m going to make an appointment with Grams’s attorneys. Cancel the service and cancel the burial. You aren’t to do a single thing with her affairs, unless I direct you otherwise. Got it?”
She’s saying something as I end the call and toss my phone on the couch. If there was a way to legally separate yourself as an adult from your parents, I would’ve done it years ago. My mother’s a certifiable, calculating bitch. I wouldn’t be surprised if she continues to communicate with Avery and even helps her come up with ways to “get me back.” Then again, maybe my mother would offer to take care of her when she’s cut off. The two of them deserve each other.
Panic crawls up my throat when I imagine my mother discovering that I’m with Sofia. Who knows what lengths she’d go to if, for whatever fucked up reason, she didn’t approve. It seems unlikely considering Sofia’s a smart, career-oriented woman, but my mother would begin to question Sofia’s motives since she doesn’t come from a wealthy family. There’s no way in hell I’m letting her ruin the progress I’ve made with Sofia.
Suddenly as angry as I’ve ever been, I snatch a throw pillow off the couch and hurl it across the room. Satisfaction washes over me when it crashes into an ugly-ass picture frame Avery picked out, sending it shattering to the floor.
“What’s going o
n out here?” Sofia asks behind me.
Running both hands over my beard, I turn to her. She’s wearing one of my white T-shirts and nothing else. It hangs down to her mid-thigh and gives a delightful view of her rosy tits. The way her long hair’s still a mess and her cheeks have a post-sex glow grabs my dick’s full attention. She’s undeniably sexy as fuck.
There are so many things I’ve fantasized about doing to her over the past weeks, and there wasn’t enough time to make a dent in the list. But in this moment, the need to taste her has me so hard that my cock twitches through the open air with the thought. Sofia’s eyes drag down my naked body to settle on the downright painful hard-on.
“Looks like you could use a hand with that,” she says, raising a curved eyebrow. Then she meets my gaze, smirking. “Or perhaps a mouth.”
A low growl vibrates against my throat and my dick bounces in approval. “Lay down on the couch,” I practically bark, still feeling a burst of residual anger. “I’m going to put my mouth on that sweet little pussy.”
Her rosy lips part with a silent moan before she saunters toward me. “I’m the one who should be making you feel better.”
“Making you come with my tongue will make me feel better,” I insist, setting my hand on her sternum and giving her a firm shove down to the couch.
Her beautiful eyes grow bigger but don’t stray from mine as she tumbles down to her back, knees parted enough to see she’s not wearing her panties. I groan aloud. That’s my girl.
“God, you’re beautiful,” I growl out. “Open your legs.”
Biting down on one of her fingertips, she complies without hesitation, giving me the kind of visual I’ll be dreaming about every time I beat one off for the rest of my life. My mouth begins to water with the sight of her swollen pink center amidst a neatly trimmed patch. It’s every bit as ravishing as the rest of her body.
