by Jennifer Ann
Rather than telling her I’m not so sure his heart had anything to do with the last forty-eight hours, I nod wearily. “I promise I’ll be careful.”
“Right, then. I best release you back to your mate. The way he’s casting looks our way, I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if he dragged you back to the break room.”
My breath hitches when I glance his way over my shoulder. His eyes, dark and filled with want, devour me as I leave Sharlo to return to his side. Though I intend to scold him for being so obvious, I can feel my pulse quicken at the base of my throat. This is his grandmother’s funeral, I remind myself sternly. You're here to support him and nothing more.
More people wanting to give Nolan their condolences stretch into a line that runs the length of the bar, forcing him to look away and give them all his attention. Sharlo and Evelyn don’t stray far as their men leave to buy a round of drinks. Since I don’t know anyone else, I distance myself from the crowd until Nolan puts his arm around my waist and tucks me against his side.
In addition to New York’s most elite, a handful of musicians that make it hard not to get overly excited when meeting them in person come to pay their respects. I grow increasingly nervous when it seems like a good hour has passed and Nolan still has yet to introduce me to his mother.
Switching my champagne to my other hand, I gently touch Nolan’s shoulder. “Have you seen your parents?”
“They’re probably hanging out at the bar,” he tells me from the corner of his mouth as he’s shaking an older man’s hand. “I wouldn’t be surprised if Mom is still pouting because I made her cancel the church service.”
Hooking my arm through Nolan’s, I take a small sip of my drink and sigh. My family may be slightly dysfunctional at times, but both of my parents were loving people who wanted the best for their children. If we continue to see each other as I hope, I can only imagine the kinds of shit I’ll have to watch his parents put him through.
“I fucking knew it!”
The woman’s sharp voice as well as the unexpected swear word grab my undivided attention. I look beyond the grouping of older couples waiting to speak to Nolan and discover the source of the outburst.
Avery.
In a stunning little black top made of lace that accentuates her small waist and clings to her petite curves, a gray pencil skirt with a belt, eyes made smoky and straight hair pinned behind her hat, Avery looks as if she was born to play the part of Nolan’s grieving girlfriend. And it makes me ten times more jealous than I would’ve expected.
Shoving her way up to the front of the line, her pointer stabs Nolan’s chest and her nostrils flare. “I knew the first time I saw this bitch that you were messing around on me! How long, Nolan? How long were you stringing me along, making me believe we had a chance…a future?”
Oh. My. God. Among a sudden clamor of the mourners, I feel my face burning bright as I shrink away from Nolan. This is the exact opposite of how I hoped things would play out. What if his parents are here somewhere and now think I was having an affair with him all this time? And it only takes one person in the building to mention to the partners at my firm that I’m sleeping with Nolan before my life could essentially be ruined.
“This is not the time or place,” Nolan warns in a low voice, firmly holding onto her elbow. “You shouldn’t even be here.”
“I have every right to be here!” Avery insists. “She was like family to me too! You were going to make me your wife before she came along!”
Suddenly I feel close to vomiting. Were they really that serious? Am I literally the reason he broke up with her? Sharlo and Evelyn gather behind me, each seeming defensive as those gathered around us watch on and speak to each other in hushed voices.
An older, beautiful woman rushes in behind Avery, taking her by the shoulders and thankfully knocking Nolan’s hand from Avery’s arm. Between the russet hue of the woman’s intense eyes and the thickness of her dark hair pinned behind her head, I immediately know it has to be Nolan’s mother.
“Avery, sweetheart, it’s going to be okay,” the woman says. With pinched features, she turns on Nolan. “You owe her a minute of your time.”
The sinking sensation that Nolan’s mother is in love with the idea of Avery as her daughter-in-law and won’t approve of anyone who takes her place sends my stomach roiling.
Nolan bends to whisper in my ear, “I need to calm her down before she causes a real scene. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
As he’s walking away with his hand held on Avery’s lower back, Sharlo pats my shoulder. “No worries, love. I’m sure he’ll send her packing in no time. If not, your sister and I will gladly help her find her way out.”
But it’s not Avery that I’m worried about, even though I’m still jealous they’re going to spend time alone somewhere together. Everyone within hearing distance, including Nolan’s mother, continues to stare like I’m some kind of a harlot. I may as well start sewing a red “A” on my chest. What have I gotten myself into?
Chapter 15
NOLAN
It’s nearly fucking impossible not to let loose on Avery as I drag her back to the break room. Coming to Grams’s memorial service has catapulted her to an entirely new level of crazy. I’m not so sure I won’t find her at the end of my bed in the middle of the night with a butcher knife in hand.
“I told you it’s over!” I yell as I’m pulling the door shut behind me. “You’re only embarrassing yourself by showing up here when you’re not welcome!”
“Her obituary was all over the internet and it said this service was open to the public!” With the ugly look she’s giving me, it’s easy to remember how eager I was to end things. “Tell me the fucking truth, Nolan!” she demands, suddenly clinging to me and on the verge of tears. “When did you start sleeping with her?”
“I was loyal to you every single day we were a couple. Can you say the same?”
From the tick in her expression, I take her answer to be a “no.” Then she says, “She’s the attorney you hired to fuck my dad out of the Vegas deal, isn’t she? Oh my god, it all makes sense now! Does your mother know what you’ve done?”
Though I’ve never hit a woman, the urge to literally try to shake some sense into her is getting harder to resist by the second. “You forced me to do something about the Vegas deal with your bullshit threats!” I bend down to her eye level, my upper lip bending with a sneer. “Did you think I was going to just stand by and let you crush my vision? That’s another reason you have no business stepping foot in this fucking bar! If my grandmother had been herself when she met you, she would’ve hated you! You’re the type of shallow, manipulative person she despised!”
“Daddy was right about you. You really are an asshole.” Her fake lashes flutter madly as she fights back tears. “But you know what? I refuse to let you make a fool out of me. If you think I’m going to stay quiet while you parade your new whore around the city—”
Grabbing her upper arm, I squeeze harder than I intend. “Do not call her that again. You don’t know a thing about her.”
With narrowed eyes, she pulls away from me. “If it’s going to be like that, I’ll have Daddy’s lawyers sue you until you’re dry as a bone. You’ve fucked things up royally, Nolan. There’s no turning back at this point. I won’t walk away from this quietly.”
“Let it go, Avery. I won’t ever change my mind and take you back because we were never good together. You made me compromise on too many things, and whatever attraction there once was between us died months ago. What could you possibly get out of all this?”
“Revenge,” she sneers before turning on her heels.
With the sound of the door slamming shut behind her, I feel as if I’m going to be sick. Somehow I know she’s going to successfully ruin the progress I’ve made with Sofia in the past couple of days, especially since she knows Sofia is my attorney. Why did I ever get involved with Avery in the first place?
I’m trying to collect myself and resist
throwing a fist through the wall when there’s a quiet knock at the door.
“Yeah?” I bark.
The door slowly opens and Sharlo waddles in. “From the smug look on that twat’s face when she walked out, it’s safe to assume this little chat did not bode well for you.”
“She’s pissed.” Huffing, I latch my fingers behind my neck. “She thinks I was sleeping with Sofia while we were still together and she wants revenge.” I jerk my head toward the door. “How’s Sofia doing?”
“Embarrassed, perhaps a bit overwhelmed. I believe she’s mostly worried she’ll lose her career over your ex’s little production out there.”
“You don’t have to remind me,” I groan, bending over. “Dammit, Shar, I finally got Sofia to open up to me without worrying about consequences, and then this shit happens. What if Avery has scared her off for good? I can’t fucking stand the thought of her disappearing from my life. I know that’s fucking selfish, but I need to find a way to show her this thing between us is real, and I won’t let it affect her job.”
Huffing, Sharlo sets a hand on her curvy hip and bends her head back to look at the ceiling. “Short of making her your wife, I don’t know if there’s a cut-and-dried answer to your conundrum.”
My heart thuds an extra few beats against my ribcage with her suggestion. “You think she’d be up for that? Marriage?”
Releasing a bright laugh, Sharlo looks back at me, slapping her hand over my arm. “Nolan, sweetheart, I was being cheeky! You can’t ask her to marry you!”
“Why not? I’ve been falling in love with her ever since she first asked if we could visit Grams. I already know I’d want to spend every minute of every day with her, if it was possible. There’s still a lot we have to learn about each other, but there’d be all the time in the world for that if we promised to spend the rest of our lives together.”
Frowning, she moves the back of her hand to my forehead. “How much have you had to drink?”
“I’m serious, Shar,” I insist, pulling her hand down. “She’s the first thing on my mind every morning…I can’t seem to get her out of my head. I really think she could be The One. She fills in every gap in my life that made me feel lonely. She supports everything I care about. She makes me laugh, and I actually want to take time off work for once. And if we were married, it would very likely trump the attorney-client privilege. I’d have to look into it to be sure, but I can’t imagine why it wouldn’t make her immune to losing her license.”
“Love, you need to take a deep breath and think on this a bit longer before you act. If you go out there and try to solve this by bending down on one knee, you’re going to scare the living hell out of Sofia. We’re talking actual demons descending down on you, making you question your solution for the rest of eternity.” With a bright smile, she takes both of my hands in hers and squeezes. “Let’s put our heads together a bit before you’re regretting total damnation, shall we?”
“If I don’t do this, she’ll run.”
“If you do do this—my god, I can’t believe you just made me say that—she’ll run. She’s not the touchy-feely type you’re accustomed to. Push her too hard, too fast and you’ll lose her. Trust me, I’ve seen firsthand the hell on earth the poor girl has been exposed to the past couple of years. If you look just below her tough exterior, you’ll find cracks in the facade. I beg you, love, even though I truly believe you would be good for each other, be careful because I can’t bear to watch your heart get broken.”
I wrap my arms around her head and pull her to me for the kind of sibling-type hug we’ve shared for years, but her pregnant belly gets in the way, making it incredibly awkward. “That was meant to be a sign of my gratitude, not an attempt to smother you to death,” I tell her with a chuckle when I let go.
After fixing her hair, she cradles her stomach. “No worries. Two more weeks and this little one is getting an eviction notice.” Tilting her head toward the door, she smiles. “Come on, then. Better get back out there and support Sofia before she decides this is all too much and runs for the border. I made her promise to wait for me to return, but she looked about as spooked as Evelyn and Charlie with the sight of a rabid fan.”
I open the door for her and we walk arm-in-arm back to the receiving line. When I search for Sofia, however, she’s nowhere to be seen among the mourners.
Sharlo pats my arm. “I’m sure she’s simply off refreshing her drink.”
I’m swept back into conversations with friends and family paying their respects, and don’t have time to search for Sofia. By the time my feet are killing me and there’s a headache forming at the base of my skull, I realize it must be getting late and I still have yet to catch a glimpse of Sofia. When I catch sight of Sharlo, Katie, and Evelyn exchanging hugs near the bar in what looks like a goodbye, I excuse myself from a conversation with someone Grams once bought her pot from and make a beeline for the three women.
“Where’s your sister?” I practically bark at Evelyn.
“She said she needed air when you left with Avery,” she answers, her face filled with sympathy. “She sent a text a little while back saying she really wanted to be here for you, but in the end, she couldn’t deal with the way everyone was looking at her after what happened.”
“Avery really cocked things up,” Sharlo agrees.
“Your mom was shooting death-glares at poor Sofia,” Katie adds. “I don’t think anyone could’ve handled that kind of pressure.”
Anger courses through my veins like lava. I can only imagine what’s going through Sofia’s head after all Avery had to say. I’m sure Sharlo let her know my mother is the one who stepped in to Avery’s aid. Fucking Avery. What’s supposed to be a celebration of Grams’s life has turned into a cluster fuck so grand that I’ve almost forgotten I’m supposed to be in mourning.
“Did she say where she was going?” I ask, running a hand through my hair.
“She said she needed to catch up at work,” Evelyn replies, shooting Sharlo a nervous glance.
With one of her most charming smiles, Sharlo hooks her arm through mine. “Why don’t you finish up here, love, and call her when you’re through? Give her some time to lick her wounds. You remember she doesn’t like to be coddled, yeah? I’m quite sure she’ll be ready to discuss what happened by the end of tonight.”
As much as I know she’s right, that Sofia needs time to cool off, I can’t shake the feeling that things between us will never again be as fucking amazing as they were the past three days.
And I might lose her.
Feeling dangerously close to shit-faced by the time the service is done, I leave my car parked behind the bar and walk over to Sofia’s new apartment. The pleasantly warm, crisp smelling spring air does little to soothe my fear of losing the first thing in my life to make total sense. When she doesn’t answer the door, I sit on her stoop with my head held in my hands, drowning in my thoughts.
If only I had said something to Sofia the first time we met in the Hamptons, maybe I never would’ve become involved with Avery. Then again, if I had manned up and split with Avery when I knew it was over earlier, maybe I wouldn’t have felt a need to hire Sofia as my attorney. And maybe she wouldn’t have resisted me when she first came to the city if I had been single and we were nothing more than friends to start. Every shitty situation between us has been created as a result of my piss-poor decisions.
It isn’t until the sun has set and I’m basically sober that I hear my name uttered in surprise.
When I look up, Sofia’s rushing to my side, eyes wide. “How long have you been sitting here?”
“Doesn’t matter. I had to see you.”
As she settles down on the step next to me, I duck my head into her chest. Her fingers nestle in my hair and she bends to kiss my temple before drawing me closer, holding me like a child. We stay in that position for awhile as I let her warmth and kindness wash over me, erasing the heartache leftover from the day.
I’m so in love with this woman that
I don’t know what else to do with myself.
“I’m sorry I left you,” she whispers after several minutes have passed. “I know you wanted me there, but I couldn’t…the way everyone was looking at me…”
“Avery had no right saying those things about you.” I answer in a gruff voice. “I’m sorry she embarrassed you like that.”
“Come inside,” she urges, stopping to kiss my head again. Her lips stay nestled in my hair. “We’ll crawl into bed and hold onto each other until everything hurts a little less. We can worry about everything else tomorrow.”
Sitting upright, I allow her to take my hand and lead me into her apartment after she unlocks the door. As she’s removing her heels and then bending down for my shoes, I lift my foot for her as I take a look around. It still smells like latex paint and the supplies she was using are still on the floor, though someone cleaned the rollers and brushes, and sealed the paint can. The raw desire to live here with her, to call this place our home, crawls into my throat until I’m choking.
“Other foot,” I hear Sofia say.
I watch her as she tenderly removes my other shoe, setting it beside the other one on a rug near the door before rising back to her feet. The smile sliding onto her lips is rather sad as she takes my hand again and leads me up the stairway.
Leaving me to stand by her bed, she slips into the attached bathroom. Her somewhat large bedroom is soft and feminine without using the color pink or the use of bows. The ivory and black palate used is made elegant by a rustic chandelier hung in the center of the room and a faded oriental rug over the dark wooden floor. The smell of a pleasant potpourri and my Sofia slam into my chest when I take a deep breath.
All at once I’m able to picture the two of us curled up beneath the down blanket on the queen sized bed night after night, sharing our hopes and dreams, making love, and holding onto what’s most important as we drift off to sleep.
“Let me help you,” Sofia says, suddenly beside me again.
