by Stead, Nick
Hunting and killing dominated my mind again. I could feel the moon’s waxing power as it drove me to stand and pace round the room, and I longed to answer its call.
The wolf paced with a similar restlessness inside my skull. His eagerness matched my own, but as our two personalities brushed against each other, I also felt his wariness to give in to his predatory urges and hunt the human prey we craved. His survival instinct was far stronger than mine had ever been.
As I paced, my gaze settled on one of the many spiders occupying the empty building. They were no doubt enjoying the peace granted by the lack of human inhabitants, free to explore without fear of meeting a sticky end. I prowled towards the biggest one. The arachnid sprang to life as I drew near and raced towards the crack it had come from. But it was no match for my supernatural speed, and with my bare hand I caught it in my fist and squeezed till I felt its body crush between my fingers. So tiny a life seemed insignificant in the vastness of our universe, a mere speck amongst bigger souls burning brighter. Did that make killing such small, primitive life forms right? Maybe not, and its death brought me no pleasure. But that didn’t stop me ending the lives of the other spiders stupid enough not to have fled the instant I’d first entered the building.
After I ran out of spiders to kill, I licked the remains from my hands and resumed my pacing, tempted to leave the sleeping vampire and go in search of prey. But the moon wasn’t quite full enough to rule me yet, and as much as I longed to lose myself in the savage joy of more bloodshed, I knew wandering off alone was a bad idea. So instead I focused on finding more creatures to kill in the room which was beginning to feel more and more like a cage. I just hoped I’d find something more satisfying than spiders.
I stood listening for more tell-tale signs of life. A rush of excitement ran through me when I picked up two faint heartbeats, the bloodlust rising once more. My excitement faded when I realised the prey I’d detected were no more than rats cowering within the walls, terrified of the unnatural predators they sensed in their midst.
I still tore at the entrance to their nest until the hole was wide enough to get my hands in and catch one. Fresh pain throbbed into life where teeth sank into flesh. I ignored the ache in my hand and crushed the rodent as easily as I had the spider, devouring the animal in two big bites. Yet such small prey were really no more than a snack, and it was only marginally better than the dried dog meat.
The second rat had found another bolt hole and was beyond my reach. I resumed my pacing, feeling thirstier for the salty taste of the animal’s blood.
Wariness returned as the hours dragged by. I half-wanted the Slayers to attack again so I could indulge my need to slaughter and feed on their flesh, even if it cost me my life. At least if I went down fighting it would put an end to this new misery I’d found myself in. But all was quiet on the streets surrounding the shop.
That outside world grew more inviting the longer I felt trapped in the old cellar. Again I entertained the thought of exploring the city, where fresh water and prey would be plentiful. My lack of clothes helped to hold me back. It was one thing to creep through the streets naked and bloody under cover of darkness, but not in broad daylight.
Clothes just weren’t practical when I was having to shift between forms so regularly and sometimes at a moment’s notice, as had been the case the night before. And even if I’d had access to any clothes that day, there was nowhere to wash in the immediate vicinity. Of course, I could have transformed again, but with my energy already drained from the number of recent transformations, I didn’t want to risk another shapeshift unless I had to. There was no guarantee I’d be able to find enough meat to make the change worthwhile and as reckless as I had become, I hadn’t completely lost my ability to reason.
Approaching footsteps disturbed my thoughts. I tensed, adrenaline pumping through my system as I readied myself for another attack. It seemed the Slayers had found us again, and I had no choice but to fight, hungry and weary as I was. The moment they came through the door there would be nowhere to run. It might have been an oversight on Lady Sarah’s part, but I don’t think she’d expected them to find us again so quickly.
My rage blazed up and I gladly opened myself to it, relying on that fury to give me the strength to face my enemies once more. With barely a conscious thought, my teeth tapered into points and my nails lengthened into claws. I had enough sense not to allow the transformation to go any further though. If I tried to take it too far I wouldn’t have the energy for a fight, and it may well be the death of me.
Time seemed to slow as I crouched there, my heart pounding with the anticipation of more combat. But the minutes dragged on and no one was coming through the doorway. Then the footsteps grew quieter as the humans walked past. The Slayers hadn’t found us after all, or at least not yet. That wasn’t to say it hadn’t been a group of them I’d heard outside though. I wouldn’t let myself relax, nor did I reverse the changes – I might still have need of my natural weapons before the day was over.
The anger continued to roar through me, the presence of potential enemies a reminder of the very reason I was being forced to endure such discomfort. Even in a world without them where I’d been bitten and turned, maybe leaving my family behind might still have been inevitable to protect them from my predatory side. But if it weren’t for the Slayers I wouldn’t be forced to cower in the shadows like a lowly prey animal.
Humanity were supposed to be my prey, their lives mine to crush, just as I had with the spiders, their flesh mine to feed on. They were only mortal after all, so what did it matter if I was the one to rip their lives from them? No matter how great an imprint they left on the world or how intensely their souls burned in life, that light would eventually be extinguished one way or another. Their mortal end was inevitable, so why should I not be the one to end it for them? Why couldn’t I be allowed the freedom to kill them as easily as the spiders, especially when the world was crawling with a greater population than the Earth could sustain? It was so tempting, but only the thought that, unlike the spiders, human prey could fight back, kept me from bursting through the old building and falling on the first person I came across. The danger they posed was enough to keep my anger in check and prevent me from doing anything stupid. But the rage wouldn’t drain away this time.
All was quiet again. Still I remained tense, wrestling with my dark desires. Finally dusk came and life, for want of a better word, breathed through Lady Sarah’s corpse.
She rose, her eyes glancing from my claws to my fangs. “More Slayers?”
I shrugged. “There were humans nearby, but they passed here a while ago.”
“Let us hope they were civilians then. Come, we need to search for somewhere suitable for the full moon.”
We were both wary as we emerged onto the streets. All was quiet and we were able to slip away unnoticed. Rage and adrenaline finally began to fade and another wave of weariness crashed over me. It was only with an effort of will that I was able to keep moving, until the moon broke free of the clouds, bringing a much needed rush of energy.
The wolf stirred within my subconscious, again feeling its call. My eyes stung as they changed from their usual human hazel to lupine amber, and it took another effort of will to suppress my desire to hunt. I would have loved to run free through the city, ripping and tearing the unsuspecting humans until the streets ran red with their blood. But the vampire would never allow it.
Once we’d passed through the urban area, Lady Sarah led us back into the countryside, searching for shelter isolated enough for the full moon. She knew she was no match for the power that ghostly orb would have over me. There would be no stopping me from killing. The best she could hope for was to keep me as far from the human world as possible, where we had more chance of going undiscovered.
It was another long night spent running over great distances. Finally we found a large stretch of woodland with an old abandoned building set in a clearing between the trees, used as a campsite once, but s
ince left to fall into disrepair. Lady Sarah was not about to take any chances based on appearances alone, however. She had us search the grounds for any hint of recent human activity in the area. There was nothing to indicate anyone had passed through the area in some time, and only then did she relax.
We did come across a large pond, murky and uninviting. Thirst drove me to my knees, my body’s need for liquid overruling any misgivings my brain might have had.
My reflection was just visible. I paused to study the ghostly image of myself, the face of the boy I’d been still physically the same, yet no trace remained of who I once was.
So little time had passed since the curse had robbed me of my humanity, but already it felt like a lifetime ago. Memories of the happier times with my family and friends seemingly belonged in a past life, as if it had never been truly me, or not the current incarnation of me. Maybe it had only ever been the dream of a monster who wished for a human life. Now there was nothing but the cruel reality of the present and the knowledge that this was for eternity. The past would become an increasingly distant dream.
I might have stayed there for the rest of the night, transfixed by my own reflection, had my thirst not broken the spell. The stagnant water tasted terrible, yet I lapped it up anyway, grateful for the soothing effect of the liquid washing over my dry mouth and down my parched throat. Behind me I was aware of Lady Sarah growing restless, no doubt feeling we’d lingered too long when there were still things to do before the dawn, and I was forced to rise before I could drink my fill. At least I’d be able to come back for more later in the day, which would mean one less discomfort to cope with.
We also found a rabbit warren. Several of the animals cowered inside their burrows, though it was still not enough to satiate either of our hungers. A deer would have been preferable. I had caught the scent of a few as we’d searched the grounds but the trails were days old and they weren’t likely to come back to the area while we were there. The meagre meal the rabbits offered would have to do for that night. God knew what we would do when the moon rose again as full though. If Lady Sarah had plans to help me manage the lunar madness she didn’t let on, but I suspected it would be the hardest trial I’d face in that first week of struggling to adapt.
After we’d eaten, we explored inside the old building. It was little more than a converted barn with a large storage cupboard, no doubt once filled with supplies for groups staying on the site. Now it stood empty, save for more spiders that had taken up residence. Perfect for our needs.
I was permitted a couple of hours sleep before the new day dawned. Lady Sarah woke me when the first hint of light began to creep into the sky, then she retreated into the cupboard. Cramped and musty, it was far from ideal for her, but I guessed she’d been forced to make use of far worse shelters in the past. She climbed into it without complaint.
“Try not to give in to the change too early tonight,” she said through the wooden doors. “All being well, I will be with you when it happens, but if you let it come too soon I might not awake in time. The last thing we need is for you to run off alone.”
Her counsel was as good as ever but I still wanted to rebel. I’d only survived so long in my hometown because the Slayers there had wanted to use me to gather an army of undead for them to massacre and bring us that bit closer to extinction. And if they’d succeeded in killing me in that battle, it may well have been the extinction of my race. I don’t think they’d expected us to find enough strength to defeat them. They believed us to be but a shadow of the great predators we once were, reduced to skulking in the darkness and scavenging on what we could. Now it seemed they would no longer suffer me to live, if the trap we’d almost been caught in the night before was anything to go by. Yet I wanted nothing more than to run rampant, answering the moon’s call to hunt and gorge myself on the flesh of the human prey I craved until I was so full I could eat no more.
I tried to settle down to keep watch, but I couldn’t keep still. The moon’s hold over me was already too strong, and I felt charged with energy again. It had me pacing back and forth as I struggled to stay in control. Since the human part of me wanted to hunt just as badly as the wolf, that was one fight I was never going to win.
I soon found myself stalking through the woods, intending to find more rabbits to prey on or perhaps some birds. My lupine half was still a far better hunter than I was though. I hadn’t quite lost my human clumsiness, my bare feet crunching over ferns and other plant-life, no matter how lightly I tried to tread. Unless I surrendered control of my mind completely to the wolf, I was never going to catch any birds. They were just too quick to take flight before I could grab them, even with my supernatural speed. And I was having no luck finding any other prey, unable to sense any more rabbits or rodents to kill. It must have been late morning when finally I was forced to return to the converted barn, aware I shouldn’t leave Lady Sarah alone too long in her corpse-like state.
Tiredness crept over me once more and I settled down by the cupboard, cold and hungry as ever. But exhaustion got the better of me and I dozed off into a light sleep.
The snap of a twig brought me back to the waking world with a jolt. So close to the full moon, I had the usual sense of wanting to swivel my ears towards the sound, but I was still in human form and knew I had to remain so until that night. The hunger would be powerful enough without another transformation prior to the unavoidable one the moon would bring. And since the vampire was probably going to make me try to fight it, there was no sense in making a near impossible task even tougher.
My heart thundered as I concentrated on my surroundings. Seconds later I picked up the sound of another footfall, and a scent snaked through the doorway. I knew the smell of humans well enough by then. They had to be more Slayers. Who else would be out here?
Some part of me wondered how they’d found us so quickly, but it was soon lost in the chaos of my rising bloodlust. I could feel the wolfish part of my mind strong as ever and for once we both wanted the same thing – to tear into the soft flesh of human prey and enjoy a bloody feast that would satisfy both the hunger and my need to kill.
I could spare the energy to regain my natural weapons, and with a feral smile I got to my feet. There would be no Lady Sarah to hold me back this time, and surely she couldn’t argue with the need to fight in this instance. She was vulnerable through the day and it had fallen to me to protect her. Fleeing was not an option so I had to make a stand and defend her sleeping, corpse-like form. And my need to kill and to feed would not be denied so close to nightfall. It was a fight I wanted, and I welcomed the oncoming bloodshed, summoning forth my rage as I prepared to face the foolish mortals who dared test me yet again.
My anger was quick to respond to my summons. I felt it stir and claw its way up out of the darkness it resided in, a separate beast to my lupine side – one born solely of the human in me. That anger was everything. It was the fire smouldering in the dark pit of my being, blazing up into a raging inferno whenever it was fed and given rise to consume and control me. It was the tidal wave that rose up and crashed back down, flooding my body with fury. It was the storm that sparked into life, flashes of lightning streaking within the dark emptiness where once there had been a living soul.
I gave voice to that anger in a primal roar, then charged to meet my enemies once again. No longer attempting to be stealthy, my feet crashed over the dead leaves and twigs littering the ground, the sound of my own heartbeat loud in my ears as the anger and adrenaline coursed through my veins. I judged this latest group of Slayers to be roughly a mile away, but it only took me a matter of minutes to reach them, running at full sprint.
The humans had frozen, perhaps at the sound of my roar, wondering which form they were going to encounter me in. I crashed into the first one, smashing his head into a large tree root and cracking open his skull like an eggshell. Shards of bone and brain matter exploded over the ground. Moving far too fast for the mere mortals to follow, I rose from the corpse and slashed
another of the men. My claws were sharp enough to rip through his clothes and into the wall of his stomach. Muscle shredded and guts peeked through.
A loop of intestine slipped out like the coil of a snake, or a huge slug emerging from the hole, slimy with blood and mucous. The man stumbled back in shock, hands pressed against the wounds to try and keep his organs in place. Disabled by the pain, he was no longer a threat. I turned away and lashed out at a third, this time raking my claws across her throat. Blood spurted from her jugular vein and she too fell, death quick to take her.
I turned to the last two in the group, utterly confident in my power. So few of them. When would they learn to stop underestimating me, especially with the moon giving me even greater strength? Clearly they’d thought I’d be an easy kill with no Lady Sarah to come to my rescue. They must have been counting on me losing myself in the bloodlust as completely as I had in the last fight, but I would not make that same mistake again. Still, if they wanted to believe such a small group could succeed, who was I to argue? All they’d achieve would be to send more lambs to the slaughter, and I was all too happy to oblige in that.
My eyes had turned lupine but I didn’t try to wrestle the wolf back into our subconscious this time, though I didn’t grant him complete control yet either. He would have his fun during the night but this was my prey. This was my kill to enjoy and my flesh to feast on.
I felt invincible as I rushed the last two Slayers. They were almost within reach when the glare of the sun entered my field of vision, blinding me. In my arrogance, I’d failed to notice they’d manoeuvred themselves so it was behind them, and I was forced to slow, squinting as I tried to keep track of their movements.
