by Stead, Nick
Long, bloody furrows opened up in my scalp, my fingers clawing at it as if I could somehow break Lady Sarah’s chains with my physical strength, after the strength of my mind had failed me. And as ever the pain only drew me into more of a frenzy, until blood splattered the surrounding trees. But there was no joy to be had in spilling my own blood.
The morning rang with my roars of fury. I was a tormented creature, bound by invisible chains. If any were there to see, I wonder if they would have felt sorry for me, or would you all take pleasure in my suffering? Perhaps I deserved this new torment I was being made to endure, but such thoughts didn’t make it any easier to bear.
Some part of me realised this behaviour was more likely to attract the attention of the Slayers. I welcomed the thought, bellowing at the top of my lungs. The land remained still and empty around me, utterly devoid of any enemies for me to kill in self-defence. Without anything more to feed it, my anger began to die down again.
I returned to the empty house, beaten and still hungry. After a while I slipped into more troubled sleep.
Back in the woods, I stalked new prey, a deer this time. Shadows lengthened as the daylight began to fail, my hunger stronger than ever after enduring a full day without being able to feed. It had grown so powerful that this time I felt sure it would break Lady Sarah’s spell, and I pushed on in pursuit of my prey with new eagerness, threads of saliva dripping from my jaws in anticipation of the meal soon to come.
The snap of a twig was enough to spook the deer and it bolted. I gave chase, weaving in and out of tree trunks and leaping over a fallen log, closing in on my prey. The deer pushed itself to the limit of its physical abilities, but it was only mortal and I was soon upon it, pouncing and sending us both crashing to the ground. I closed my jaws around its throat and felt a sense of triumph when my fangs slid into the soft flesh, blood spilling over my tongue. But something was wrong.
Agony stabbed through my gums. I drew my head back and blood gushed from my mouth. Then my teeth came loose, rolling freely between my cheeks.
I bent over, spitting out blood and teeth until my gums were bare. Powerless to feed once again, all I could do was scream in pain and frustration.
I was still screaming as I fought my way back to consciousness. It seemed Lady Sarah’s power was affecting my nightmares as well. I’d never experienced one like this before.
Dusk had fallen but the vampire had yet to rise. I stalked outside, seething once again, and glared up at the waning moon, feeling I had but one hope of breaking Lady Sarah’s hold over me. Her power wasn’t enough to override the call of the full moon – she’d told me as much when I’d pleaded for her help with stopping the killing, nearly a year ago. And I had no reason to suspect she’d lied. Otherwise, she’d have used her hypnotic abilities to keep the wolf from running wild instead of resorting to such brutal means as a blade through my leg. That meant when the moon next rose as full, I could indulge in my bloodlust once more. It gave me some hope, but the thought of having to wait a whole month was enough to keep me fuming for the rest of the night.
I knew I was being childish again, but when Lady Sarah awoke I still wouldn’t speak to her, though I was too hungry to resist the meat she offered me that night – a deer she killed and fed on first, leaving me with another unappetising, dry carcass. Even the nightmare I’d had couldn’t keep me from eating my fill, and I tore through it as if I’d been starving for months.
By the time I’d finished my meal, Lady Sarah was anxious to move on. We spent more long hours running across the countryside, stopping only for the approach of dawn. So began another long day of misery and hunger.
The next week or so passed much the same. My rage gradually began to die down until, unable to feed it and the bloodlust it was tied to, it finally burnt itself out. Only emptiness remained and my faint glimmer of hope that was the moon. But as it continued to wane to no more than a sliver of light in the sky, I became utterly dejected, feeling I couldn’t last the fortnight (or just over) till it grew full once more.
That rage had defined me for so many weeks that I suddenly felt lost without it. I thought I could feel a few faint embers burning deep inside my core, but a part of me wondered if it would be completely gone by the time the full moon came. Then I would be completely dead inside. That was a depressing prospect. I didn’t think I could face an eternity of existing with this gaping chasm that had opened up inside me.
I’d thought in giving in to the rage and the bloodlust I’d embraced that inner darkness at the heart of mankind, but what if this was the true darkness, where no emotions, no life burned within? And in the absence of any spark of life, what reason was there for the empty husk I was becoming to continue to exist? I tried to stoke my dying rage with thoughts that this latest torment was all Lady Sarah’s doing, but even that couldn’t call it back.
The vampire sensed the change in me and decided to risk a few nights in the same place so we could work on more survival lessons. I could tell what she really wanted to teach me was some self-control, but she knew it was too early when I’d only just calmed down from my last fit of rage.
By the new moon I’d fallen back into despair. I gazed up at the sky with the feeling that my rage might as well be as far off as the stars glimmering faintly overhead. If only I could reach out to the moon and drag it back into position to make it full again.
Lady Sarah’s voice felt equally far away. I was only vaguely paying attention to what she was saying, finding her lessons almost as dull as those I’d endured at school in my human life.
“Now, should the need ever arise to return to the human world, there is more you need to know if you are to pass undetected for any length of time among them,” she said. “The Slayers patrol the streets at night, so you should take advantage of your ability to walk in the daylight hours. Crowds offer the chance to blend in and make it harder for the Slayers to attack, since they do not want the world at large to know of their existence. Some of them will also hesitate to shoot through human shields, but there are those who do not care about the number of casualties, as you are well aware.”
I grunted.
“You would need to acquire more clothes to pass for human of course, and if you need to visit a place more than once you should try to change your appearance as much as possible each time. Modern technology makes it easier for the Slayers to track us than ever before and you should be mindful of cameras, as well as prying human eyes. If you cannot hide in a crowd then avoid built up areas where there are likely to be more cameras, and try to keep your face hidden. In wolf form you need to be even more careful and keep to the shadows and alleyways. Some humans might mistake you for a stray dog, but there will always be those who recognise a wolf.”
“Okay,” I murmured, still gazing up at the sky.
“I can see your attention is elsewhere tonight so we will leave it there I suppose, but the sooner you learn all this the better. If we ever get separated or if you run into trouble during the day, you need to know these things to give you the best chance to survive in our world.”
I gave a non-committal response and she went to hunt for another luckless animal to sustain us both.
Another week passed but I had yet to feel any change, despite the waxing moon.
“You can make stitches from a few natural materials if the need arises in the wild,” Lady Sarah was saying as part of my latest lesson, demonstrating the use of animal tendons as thread. She’d also fashioned a makeshift needle out of wood.
“Why do I even need to know this?” I snapped. The sky was completely black, the moon hidden behind storm clouds massing overhead. But I could feel it up there, growing fuller, and at long last my anger had started to burn stronger again. “The transformation heals wounds for me; I don’t need stitches.”
Lady Sarah responded with a surge of her own anger. It was as if the two were linked again, like flames leaping between us. “And what if you are bleeding out from a wound and too low on energy to heal
the damage before it kills you? I am trying to help you, if you would stop behaving like a spoilt child and focus on your own survival.”
“What’s the point in surviving if all we’re going to do is run and hide? It’s been weeks now since our battle with the Slayers and we’ve done nothing constructive. Time’s slipping away from us and still nothing changes. They continue to pick us off one by one – they’ve already tried to take me and you out, and how many others have they killed while we’ve been on the run? Why do we not fight? We came out victorious once already. Why are we not pressing the assault on their other bases? We could make another stand, instead of fleeing and allowing the Slayers to carry on weakening us.”
“You are not ready for all out warfare!” Lady Sarah snapped back. It seemed she didn’t like me questioning her judgement. “You may have taken the role of leader when we fought in your hometown, but you are still very young, Nick. You know nothing of true war. We won a small victory and gained some time for those of us in that area, nothing more. The Slayers will be back. Yes, we could continue to assault their other bases, but they will be ready for us in future, and we cannot hope to prevail if they are ready to mass against us!”
“Then we should be striking them down before they can gather their forces.”
“Ah, if it were that simple! If we were to engage them in open warfare we would die. It would be genocide. We might have all the advantages in a fair fight, but you should know as well as anyone that humanity does not fight fair. They hide behind their machines, and even we cannot withstand some of this modern technology.”
I opened my mouth to make another argument but she gave me a look reminiscent of Dad whenever I’d answered him back. My guilt stirred and I let her continue.
“I may have limited knowledge of the modern world, but I have seen some of their more recent instruments of destruction at play. I have lived through the wars they have waged against each other and I have seen the advances in their machinery. I have seen them develop bombs and other such weapons, and if it is we who are caught in the crosshairs I am not so arrogant as to believe we would somehow escape.”
She paused a second time and again I tried to argue, but she forged on, her eyes flashing.
“And they would resort to such destructive measures. If they felt we had declared open warfare, are you really so stupid as to think they would continue to fight in secret from the rest of society? No, they would use their influence amongst their governments to unite the world against us. They have already proved they will permit a few sacrifices to save the many – they would stop at nothing to smash whatever forces we could gather. This might not be the view held by all, but madness breeds madness, and eventually the doubters to their cause would come to think the same way.
“So no, we have not gone on the offensive following our one small victory. I repeat, it would end in genocide.”
I snarled. “Well I won’t just cower in the shadows till they find me. We were made for more than this! We were made to fight and to kill, and to inspire fear in mankind. I won’t spend eternity running from my prey. It is they who should run screaming from me, and tonight I will make them scream.”
“Fine, go out there and get yourself killed if that is what you really want! I will not stop you.”
“No, you won’t,” I growled, and ran off before she could do anything. Though I needn’t have worried about her holding me back – I think she was too angry to use her hypnosis that night.
I slowed only when Lady Sarah was beyond the reach of my senses. As far as I could tell, she’d made no move to follow me. There was no sight of her in the blackness of the countryside, nor any scent of vampire – another smell I’d grown to recognise since spending so much time with her over the last month. Nor could I hear her dead lungs inhaling and exhaling out of habit rather than necessity. Then the first rumble of thunder began like the growl of some mighty beast, as if my rage had grown so powerful that even the elements felt it and responded in kind.
Lightning rent the blackness, a fissure in the sky from which the downpour seemed to start. The rain was cold on my skin, a chill made worse by the driving wind. My anger burned so fiercely that I barely noticed.
Another streak of lightning revealed the water, so pure and clear around me, to be mixing with the dried blood still covering my body. Tainted by the horrific acts I’d committed over the last few weeks, the raindrops ran red across my skin, the rainfall growing heavier as if in response, in an attempt to cleanse my evil from the land. I roared in defiance and was answered by another rumble of thunder, and a third flash of lightning.
As British storms went, this one was impressive. It was easy to see why such an awe-inspiring, natural phenomenon had been mistaken for the work of gods in times long past. And who was to say it hadn’t been caused by some divine being? Lady Sarah had told me demons existed, so that suggested the possibility of some kind of heavenly creatures as well. Was it mere rainfall pelting my body, or did the heavens weep for the poor souls I had brutally ripped from their mortal lives and sent unwillingly to whatever awaited them in death? Was the storm truly a sign that I’d angered whatever God or gods might be up there, watching this unnatural thing invading the world they reigned over from above? I had let such thoughts trouble me before, but that night they only fed the fires of my rage. If any kind of gods existed they had let me fall victim to my lycanthropy. They had forsaken me in my hour of need, back when I wanted to keep myself from killing. I owed them nothing, least of all any faith or respect. So I gave another defiant roar and let the transformation take hold until my true nature of wolf and man hybrid was revealed once again. Then I turned my attention back to the earth.
Risen up on the fires of my rage, my bloodlust had re-awoken, and the need to kill was overpowering. I was desperate to taste fresh blood on my tongue, feel it spilling out of my mouth and down my jaws, the warmth of it trickling across my body. I wanted to feel bones crush in my jaws and flesh tear in my hands; to hear living hearts beat their last and see eyes full of life dimming as I plunged them into the blackness of death. But there was only one way I could overcome Lady Sarah’s hold over me before the rise of the next full moon.
I heard the words she’d spoken while I was under her spell, echoing across my memory. “No more killing without my permission, except in self-defence.”
That left me but one choice. I had to put myself in danger if I wanted to shed more blood.
“Slayers!” I roared into the night. “I know you’re out there.”
The only reply came from the elements, in the form of more thunder.
“I’m on my own now; no Lady Sarah to fight by my side. So what are you waiting for? Come get me, you bastards!”
The night remained frustratingly free of human activity. I fell into another fit of rage driven madness, screaming and clawing at my head again. But as the anger began to die down and my thoughts cleared, an idea came to me. It was insanely reckless, but at least if it cost me my life I would go down in a blaze of glory. I found that thought strangely appealing, and more preferable to an eternity of running and hiding, dead inside except at the time of the full moon – which seemed to be the fate awaiting me if I returned to Lady Sarah.
The storm had passed and there was a hint of light creeping into the blackness, signalling the approach of dawn. I let the transformation resume and take me all the way to fully lupine, then headed in the direction of the nearest town. If the Slayers were too cowardly to face me I would have to take the fight to them, and it was in search of my enemies I now went. One way or another I would satisfy my bloodlust. Even if it cost me my life.
CHAPTER FIVE
Looking for a Fight
I shivered in the early morning chill. The cold had found its way past the defences of my wet fur, leaving it free to harry my skin. It was more noticeable now I’d come to a stop, but the smell of fresh meat was too tempting to resist.
The lump of flesh had been a living fox until recently. I lowe
red my snout to the body and bit into its belly, quivering with delight. Still warm. Blood oozed with every mouthful, the taste divine. Scavenging would never compare with preying on living victims, but as roadkill went it wasn’t too bad a meal.
I crunched through bone and flesh, leaving only a mess of tattered fur. A pool of crimson marked the spot where the animal had died, and I crouched over it, licking the juices and hungering for more. The thought that I would soon feast on the flesh of my enemies kept me going.
Once I’d eaten I pressed on, careful to keep to the side streets and remain out of sight of prying eyes. I didn’t want to be discovered too soon so I tried to follow the advice Lady Sarah had given me, which I grudgingly admitted to myself was proving useful after all.
The human world had yet to awake. I searched for any hint of Slayers still out on patrol, but all was quiet. Dawn was upon us and I could only assume they’d returned to their everyday lives, deeming the town safe for another night. It wasn’t like the other races of undead could attack during the day. And they didn’t seem to be aware I’d entered the area, or surely they’d be out in force. I wondered if they’d consider me a trophy kill – the last werewolf alive. What Slayer wouldn’t want the honour of bringing my kind to extinction?
I felt a brief urge to announce my presence with the most chilling howl I could muster. How fun it would be to see them scrambling around in a panic as I picked them off one by one. But I fought the temptation. Better to take stock of my surroundings and pick the time and place to attack than rush in blind.
Somewhere within the town a church bell tolled the hour – seven o’ clock. The quiet wouldn’t last much longer. We were about to be plunged into the early morning rush for work and school as the roads filled with traffic and the pavements flooded with pedestrians. Unless it was a weekend, but I had no way of knowing that. I hadn’t bothered to try and keep track of the days since leaving the human world behind. What was the point? They held little meaning for me now.
