‘I have to.’
She groaned. ‘It’s your day off.’
‘I don’t get those.’ He slid out of her grip, snatched the phone and frowned. ‘Maitland.’
For a second he said nothing. Nodded. His breathing sped up, his jaw tightened. But his voice was soft and warm. ‘Oh, hi. No, it’s fine. Fire away…’ He covered the phone speaker with his hand and turned to Gabby. ‘It’s Jodi.’
Then he tightened the towel round his waist, turned his back on her and left the room, resuming the conversation with his ex-girlfriend-turned-girlfriend-in-law. ‘Yes, that’s right. Thirty milligrams, three times a day. But if you hang on I’ll come in now to check. I’ll be there in five. No…you’re not interrupting anything…nothing important.’
‘Oh.’ Nothing important. Again? Had she not learnt her lesson? Shivering in the now-cold room, Gabby sat up and wrapped the duvet round her. A tight fist of disappointment lodged in her chest. ‘Oh. Okay. That’s how it is. Well, I was going anyway.’
Although she knew he hadn’t meant it quite the way it had sounded, she suddenly felt like a spare part. A tiny piece in Max’s busy life. Insignificant. He’d told her it was over between Jodi and him, and she was just the mother of one of his patients. His brother’s girlfriend.
But it all seemed so intensely complicated. The brothers. Their rift that set the whole hospital on edge at times. This. Here.
Keeping everything on a need-to-know, ask-no-questions basis was all well and good, but it meant there was little connection. Nothing real. And the realisation that she wanted either something real or nothing at all hit Gabby hard.
And she definitely wanted to be something important.
Clearly bed buddies wasn’t her thing after all. Who was she trying to kid? Fun, sure. But the flip side to fun was expendable. Superfluous. Not needed.
She didn’t want to be picked up and dropped when it suited. Didn’t want to be the one doing that either. Because they’d agreed on equal terms, so she could do the dropping too.
For goodness’ sake. He’d just spent the last few hours caressing her, whispering to her, sleeping with his arms round her, refusing to let her go. They’d even dispensed with condoms, using her pill as contraception—so as to get the deeper connection, skin on skin.
But however connected they were physically, they’d never be connected emotionally. Not when either of them refused to give.
Putting her feet firmly on the floor, she gathered her wits. These weird displacement feelings were a shock.
She needed to get out. She needed to be sure of what she wanted. And that certainly wasn’t to be a spare part.
As soon as the spark dies…
That didn’t look like it would happen anytime soon. If anything it was getting more intense—at least for her. She was learning fast that Max was the kind of guy she didn’t want to pick up and drop at will. The kind that she wanted to stay with way longer than was good for her, after the sex and the sleeping.
She needed to get out before the spark ignited and she got too caught up in the flashback.
As she got dressed to the sound of his laughter bubbling through from the lounge, a hot sting burned at the backs of her eyes. A love life was something she hadn’t allowed herself to think of for ten years. Ten years. Doing penance for a mistake she would never repeat. And never truly recover from. So this was so not the time to discover she wanted the whole damned package and more. And with Mr I’m Sexy, who wouldn’t know commitment if it walloped him in that too-damned-pretty face. Not a chance.
He was still talking as she disappeared once again from his apartment when he wasn’t looking. Hitting the city street, she hauled fresh air into her lungs.
And renewed her determination to never again lose control of her life and her heart.
*
‘I’m so grateful you’ve come.’ Jodi’s smile wavered as Max neared the cubicle. Even though her eyes were ringed with shadows and her hair wasn’t as tidy as she liked to keep it, she was still breathtakingly beautiful.
Just an objective observation.
He checked his heart. No—no feelings there, except genuine concern for her and his nephew. And a little sadness, perhaps, that things had ended the way they had with Jodi. She’d been one in a string of women who’d berated him for his dedication to work and unwillingness to commit. They’d had fun, though, before they’d broken up. At least, he had.
Apart from being his brother’s girlfriend, she was nothing to him now.
And yet when Mitchell had announced—no, bragged—that he was seeing her, their animosity had thickened. Years of frustration, hurt and lack of contact melded into a fierce rivalry.
Then, after she’d turned up with a child who was unmistakably a Maitland, he’d had a mixture of feelings. Jealousy had been centre stage, although he hadn’t been able to see it at the time. Anger, he’d thought, at a brother’s bond being broken.
But now he had to wonder—jealous about what? The fact Mitchell had Jodi again? Or that he had a ready-made family? That, despite how sick Jamie was, Mitchell had found love and happiness?
And he himself had found what? A fulfilling career, sure. But there was little fulfilling about the rest of his life. Did he want kids? That thought whacked him square in the gut. Hell, he didn’t know. Hadn’t contemplated it until Jamie had come on the scene.
But today all he felt was just eagerness to help them get sorted out. Then he could get back home.
Amazing what hot sex with a prim, buttoned-up charge nurse could cure. He kept his smile in check. Finally he’d found someone just like him—wanting nothing more than a good time, even if she’d done her disappearing act again. One of these days, maybe, he’d actually wave her off or even accompany her out of his apartment, instead of turning round and finding she’d done a bunk. Again.
And it was no end of irritating to realise he missed her again, too. Somehow she’d grown on him in unexpected ways. She’d probably just popped out to get breakfast.
But, goddamn the woman, couldn’t she have left a note?
He closed the cubicle curtain around the bed to create a little privacy, trying to focus on the matter in hand. ‘So what’s the problem, Jodi? The meds dosage is being titrated so it’s going to be different on different days until he stabilises…but you sounded panicked on the phone. Something else bothering you?’
‘I overheard one of the nurses say that a couple of the kids here had gone down with some sort of vomiting bug. I need to get Jamie off this ward now.’
Great. That’s all they needed: a compromised child and a virulent gastro bug. ‘Yeah, the anti-rejection drugs do silly things with Jamie’s immune system. He’ll be vulnerable.’
‘You’re the only one with authority to discharge him. Mitchell said he’d sign a self-discharge form if you…disagreed.’
‘I won’t. Why would I?’
She paused. ‘Oh, I don’t know…’
‘In case I was difficult? Right?’ Max pulled at his shirt collar. Something was irritating him, but he couldn’t tell whether it was outside his body or more than skin deep. He shrugged. Checked the charts. ‘Jamie’s doing fine. I’m still a little concerned about getting all the dosages right, but I agree he’d be better off at home than at risk here. You can bring him in to Outpatients and we’ll take it from there.’
‘You hear that, baby? We’re going home,’ she whispered to Jamie, her voice thick with tears. ‘I didn’t think this day would ever come.’
The little guy jumped up and down on the bed—thrusting an old fire engine into Max’s hand, those brilliant blue eyes blazing with mischief.
Suddenly an image popped into Max’s head of him and Mitchell—not much older than Jamie—in some sort of den they’d constructed with a clothes airer and a sheet in their old house. The one they’d been dragged away from in such a hurry that fateful night.
Under the sheet they’d been laughing about a shared joke, chatting in twin-speak, the strange gobb
ledegook language they’d made up. He’d forgotten. Forgotten they’d once had such a strong bond that no one else had even understood them. Just the two of them, inseparable. Emotion clogged his throat and he sucked in air.
So many things he’d blocked out in order to cope. Easier to push everything—everyone—away than risk emotional overload. Easier to forget than to drag everyone down with him.
Their mother’s face had been a mix of emotions as she’d popped her head under the sheet and laughed in confusion. ‘You two, what a pair! You’re always up to something. Would you one day let someone else into your private jokes?’
The memory was infused with the pungent smell of flowers. Was that her perfume? No… He tugged at the memory to try make it more real, but the more he tugged the harder it was to grasp. It disappeared into a mist, leaving him heavy-hearted and face to face with a red fire engine and a toothy smile. ‘Max…play.’
Taking the fire engine out of her son’s hands, Jodi ran it along the bed frame. ‘I don’t think Uncle Max has time to play, right?’
It was an invitation to leave. He was torn. He wanted to sit here and play with his brother’s son for a few more minutes. Be a part of their lives. But he didn’t know if Mitchell would take kindly to that. Instead, he had to let them all go. The irritation seemed to thicken the back of his throat now, his words struggling to come out. ‘No, ’fraid not, buddy. Uncle Max has to go. But I’ll see you…’
Jodi nodded. ‘At Outpatients.’
‘Yes.’ He turned to go, but realised he needed to say something more. ‘I’m really sorry for how everything has turned out.’
She gave him a shy smile. ‘You mean you and me? Or you and Mitch?’
‘I should have treated you better. But I’m glad you’re with Mitch now. You both seem happy.’
‘We are. He’s not that bad, you know.’ She winked.
‘That’s what they said about Attila the Hun.’ When she laughed again he joined in and it felt great. Strange, but great, to have made some inroads.
Gabby was right. Maybe he and Mitch should call a truce—he just didn’t know how to take that step. Maybe have that beer in The Shed, and a chat. Would his brother be open to that? A chat? That was something they hadn’t managed for a long time. Seemed Gabby was right about way too much for her own good.
Jodi patted his arm and smiled. ‘I can’t thank you enough for what you’ve done. Perhaps you could come round to the house sometime? See how things go? Jamie would like that.’
‘And Mitchell?’
‘Give him time. I’ll work on it.’
‘Okay. Yes. I’d like that. If it’s not too much trouble.’ He slipped a kiss on the boy’s head and huffed out a breath. Things were starting to look up, a chance at making something better with Mitchell, being part of Jamie’s life. And a damned fine night spent with a gorgeous woman—with promises of a whole lot more. Her plans for a truce were finally taking form. He couldn’t wait to tell her he’d actually been invited to his brother’s house.
Now all he had to do was find her again.
*
Hours later he sloped back to his apartment block, tired, hungry and distinctly annoyed. Not knowing the correct address of the woman he was sleeping with was an error he wouldn’t make again. He’d hammered on half the doors in Boston Road. Hadn’t clicked at first that it was a damned main road that stretched for miles. And why the hell did she have her phone switched off? She had hours before she was back on duty, and that meant hours to play.
Turning the corner towards his front door, he was semi-blinded by a riot of colour. And now irritation almost burst out of him. Damn. He didn’t want her silly gifts, he wanted her. Now. In bed.
But she’d sneaked back when he’d been out and had brought him a trio of ghastly plants identical to the last one. Okay, not identical. These at least looked alive.
Three—the same number of times they’d made love. Ah, the reality started to sink in.
Plus, she’d left a basket of oranges, pineapple, bread and milk. A tub of plant food. This time there was no note. He checked. And checked again, his good mood rapidly degenerating.
Shoving the door open and backing into his flat with his arms overflowing, he finally nailed what was bugging him. This wasn’t a thank-you gift. Or a friendly gesture. It wasn’t an I’ll be back soon to share.
It was a kiss-off. A goodbye.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Six weeks later…
‘AND THAT, MY FRIENDS, is a wrap,’ Max raised his voice above the upbeat rock music that accompanied every closure he did. As he finished securing the final clip on his patient’s swollen belly, the usual wave of relief hit him in the gut. It was only the beginning of a long journey, but at least the old guy had a chance now. ‘I’ll check on him when he’s out of Recovery. Any problems, call me. I’ll be up in the paediatric HDU.’
‘HDU? Why? We don’t have a patient there at the moment, do we?’
Deflecting the strange looks from his registrar, Max lobbed his gloves into the pedal bin, flicked off his surgical gown and washed his hands. ‘I think I left my keys up there. Just going to check.’
‘I could phone up if you like. Save you the trouble.’
Goddamn, could the man not leave him alone? ‘No worries. I could do with the exercise.’
Surgery couldn’t go fast enough these days. Not when his body had a homing instinct straight to the HDU.
Turning the corner, he saw Gabby leaving the staff cafeteria, coffee in hand. He jogged to catch her up and fell into step. ‘I was just on my way to find you. In your usual hurry again, Nurse Radley?’
She offered him a wobbly smile, hesitant and unsure. Despite the confident outward appearance she liked to show the world, he could read every emotion flitting across her eyes. Today it was embarrassment, uncertainty and a dash of heat.
It wasn’t that she didn’t want him, then. Even after all this time her cheeks still heated at the sight of him. It was that she’d decided she couldn’t, for some reason. ‘I’m trying to get back to the ward. Since that gastro bug hit the hospital we’ve been rushed off our feet and painfully short-staffed. It took everyone out in waves.’
‘But we haven’t spoken properly for weeks.’ And since the moment he’d walked back into his bedroom and found her gone, again, he’d had a keen sense of loss. Something missing from his life. Something missing from his bed. Now he finally had her attention he was going to keep it. ‘I liked the way we were before. When we had a laugh.’
‘You’re very busy and important, Max. You went away to a conference for a fortnight—can’t blame me for that—and I couldn’t help getting sick. You’ve seen me most other days.’
‘And every time I hit your radar you disappear behind a curtain with a patient or into a meeting. The toilet. Lunch. Timbuktu. It’s close on six weeks since…’ Okay, so, yes, he’d been counting. No big deal. He just, well, he missed her.
Dating other women had been dropped from his agenda, as had mindless sex. Nothing seemed quite as vibrant and bright without her in it—particularly his apartment, although his deck was all kinds of Technicolor with those darned flowers.
Putting his hand on her arm, he managed to get her to focus on him. Stopped himself from planting a kiss on those chocolate-stained lips. ‘Look, we need to talk.’
Uncertainty flickered behind her eyes. ‘We do? Why?’
‘I have news.’ His chest swelled. He’d been trying to tell her this for days. It was ridiculous to be so damned excited about something so inane.
Her lips tightened. ‘What do you mean? News?’
‘We’re going to be parents.’
‘What? What on earth are you talking about?’ Her cheeks pinkened, her eyes narrowed. For a second she looked spooked—no, abjectly terrified. She shook her head. ‘No…no, we’re not. We can’t—’
‘Yes. One of the plants has a new sprout. I think it’s having a baby.’
‘Really? The plant?’ To his relief h
er mouth relaxed and she laughed, running her fingers over that silver heart at her throat. ‘I thought you meant… How could you…? Oh, never mind. Wow. You’ve done good.’
He nodded. ‘I know. And thank you, by the way, for the three extra mouths to feed. Now that I have a jungle family to care for, I don’t have time to sleep.’
‘The geranium needed company. And seeing that champagne isn’t classed as an essential food group, I thought you needed some decent nutrition in your fridge, too. It was the least I could do.’ And she truly did look a little shame-faced that she’d sneaked out on him again.
‘Especially after you vanished, leaving me hard and half-naked and wanting you so much I thought I was going to die.’ Ignoring her frown, he steered her to the laundry loading bay. Luckily it was deserted, save for a very large truck. He pulled her behind it, out of sight from the main corridor. ‘Thing is, I had a lot more in mind that day.’
Holding her coffee cup up as a barrier, she tugged away from him. ‘Well, I considered what you had to do—whatever that was—a lot more important than what we had planned.’
Was he missing something here? She was making a point but it was beyond him. ‘I had to go and sort out Jamie’s discharge meds. Then there was that conference. I did come and look for you.’
‘I know. I understand.’ But she wasn’t giving him much hope for any sort of reconciliation.
‘We miss you.’ At her frown he explained. ‘Our family.’
‘You are so ridiculous.’ She started to walk away, chucked her coffee cup into the trash, along with his hope. The conversation ended.
He reached out for her, but she was too quick. ‘Wait, Gabby.’
His phone rang. ‘Wait…’
Her back stiff, she retreated into the main corridor. ‘Busy day, Mr Maitland.’
Now they were back to ‘Mr’ again. ‘Wait.’
In three strides he caught her up, grabbed her hand. His phone blared again.
She tugged.
His phone screeched louder. ‘Oh…crap.’ He lifted the phone to his ear. ‘Maitland.’
How To Resist A Heartbreaker Page 8
