"Then you shouldn't even be thinking about dating."
I shook my head. "No, I should. I should want to go on with my life. Jake would have wanted me to."
Emma came back into the room, stopping Paula from saying anything.
"Mommy, are you okay?"
I glanced at my little girl, who was looking between me and Paula. "I'm fine sweetheart."
"Uh huh." She glared at me, and folded her arms, looking way too much like her father when he would give me the same look.
"Let's get going, okay?"
"Sure Mom." She walked over to her grandmother and gave her a big hug.
Paula kissed her cheek and whispered something in her ear, and stood up, looking way too smug.
"Don't," I said to her.
She raised her eyebrow, like she expected me to challenge her.
"Come on, Emma." We walked outside and got in the car.
I resisted the urge to scream.
After we got under way, I flipped down my rear view mirror and glanced at Emma. "So what secret did Grandma whisper to you today?" I tried to keep my voice light, hoping she'd tell me.
Because, yeah. Was not amused at Paula's little maneuver.
"Only that if I needed her, I could always call."
"And why would you need Grandma?"
"If I was sad."
"Well, I hope you're not sad."
"I'm not! I got this new dress and everything!" She held up the dress, like I might have forgotten already. "And the wig is really neat, but it gets hot on my head sometimes. Then I take it off and pretend I'm Ana trying on Elsa's dress." And on she went.
And such is the mentality of a little girl.
Her oblivion to grown-up issues eased my conscience.
~*~
I swallowed the last bite of the cranberry-apple-feta salad my mother made and glanced at Emma's mostly empty plate of macaroni and cheese. All the hot dog bits were gone, left with just a little macaroni.
Emma did not eat green things, unfortunately. Her two leftover lettuce leaves looked sad and lonely on the side of her plate. She'd eaten one of the three I'd given her.
"Eat up," I said.
"Can I have a cookie if I finish?" she asked.
"In a little while, yes, you can have dessert."
"Yeah!" She dove back into her mac and cheese with abandon. I doubted she'd touch any more lettuce, but well, she ate carrots and apples, so I call that a win.
Mom tossed her napkin on her plate. "That salad came out fine," she said. "Crisp and cool on a hot summer day."
I agreed with her. It was totally what I needed tonight. Cool and relaxing--all I needed to finish off my night was a glass of wine and--
A heavy knock on the door made both of us jump. Mom glanced at me. "Are you expecting anyone?"
I shook my head as I started to stand. It wasn't horribly late, but we didn't normally have visitors unannounced. Twenty years ago, Mom always had people popping by, but now, well, that just wasn't done.
I headed toward the door and saw the handle jiggle. The lock wasn't thrown. We may live in the Midwest, but burglaries still happened. I was far too familiar with someone breaking in--I had one back when Jake was deployed. Not a great thing for a woman by herself with a kid.
My gaze darted to the nearest heavy object--a vase on the side table. I picked it up and had it in my hand, ready to throw it.
The door popped open.
I hurled the vase.
Smash.
It hit the wall just next to the door.
"Good god, Summer! Are you trying to kill me?" My baby sister Autumn stood in the doorway, suitcases in her hand, her fire-engine red hair--good lord, red, really?--and dusted the shards off from the shattered vase.
"You should be glad I never could throw well," I said, hand on my heart.
"Well, there is that," Autumn said as she sat down her suitcases.
Adrenalin still pumped through me as I turned to get the broom from the kitchen. "You couldn't have waited thirty seconds for me to open the door?" I muttered.
"This is my home too, I shouldn't have to wait to be invited in."
I would have said more, but Mom came down the hallway.
"Autumn!" Mom cried, as she entered the foyer. "What have you done with your hair?" Mom's gaze darted to me. "You're cleaning that up."
"I know," I snapped as I headed back into the kitchen to get the broom.
"Mommy, why did you throw the vase at Auntie Autumn?" Emma asked as I came through.
I paused. Crap. Now I have to find a way to answer this one without terrifying my daughter. Her little graphic tee-shirt gave me an idea.
"Um, because her red hair scared me. I thought she was Operetta come to life to come get me."
Emma burst out laughing. "Mommy, Operetta is my Monster High dolly. They don't come to life!" She stroked her shirt before shoving the last bite of macaroni in her mouth. "Can I be excused please?"
"Sure. Go brush your teeth first, then you can see your aunt." I didn't want her traipsing through the broken glass in her bare feet.
"Okay." And off she went. In the foyer I could hear my sister and my mother talking a mile a minute--well, that was mostly Autumn--as I got a wet rag to make sure no little pieces of glass was left.
They were still in the hallway, but I noticed that the bigger chunks of glass were piled together.
I wondered who bothered doing that. Likely not my wayward sister.
"Yeah, Mom, you should have seen this bohemian salon. Chain link fencing on the walls, bright colors everywhere, and this humongous retail area. It was crazy. Nothing matched, but everything matched. It was amazing." She swung her arm out as I swept, and almost hit me in the face.
"Seriously Autumn?"
"What? You shouldn't have been standing there," she snapped at me.
"Did you take pictures? I'd love to see." Mom always wanted to see whatever super funky salon that Autumn found in her travels. Why, I didn't know, but she always asked.
"I have a whole bunch on my phone, I'll show you when I get settled. I gotta just put this stuff in my room."
"Yeah, about that," I said. And I might have been a bit gleeful to spill the information.
Autumn turned and looked at me. "What's wrong with my room?"
I shrugged. "Nothing, if you don't mind sharing it with Barbie and Ken."
"Wait, what?" Her gaze narrowed as she looked between me and Mom.
"You haven't been here for three years. I didn't think you were coming back," Mom said.
Autumn's eyes opened wide, giving her the crazy eyes. "I never said I wasn't coming back."
I raised my eyebrow. "I'm pretty sure you did. I very much recall you saying 'I'm off to the great big world, and I won't be back.'"
"I did not say that!"
"No, you said 'explore.' That I remember," Mom added.
She rolled her eyes. "You gave away my room."
"This isn't a hotel, Autumn," Mom said. "While you're more than welcome to stay, darling, you're almost thirty. A place of your own is not a bad idea."
"I can't believe this. Summer's here, and she's thirty-five."
"I'm not even thirty-four yet!"
"Whatever. You're over thirty, with a kid, and living with Mommy." Autumn put her hands on her hips.
"Do not even go there," I snapped, not liking my sister's close-to-the-mark shot. Much closer than the vase I threw at her.
I had extenuating circumstances.
Right?
"Girls, please," Mother said. "Breath in and out. Let go of your animosity."
I huffed. "Please Mom, it never worked when we were kids."
Autumn, however, closed her eyes, and started slowly breathing.
I rolled my eyes and took the broken glass to the trash can. While Autumn and Mom were meditating in the foyer, I could at least go see what could be moved back into Emma's room so Autumn could have her space.
And I about got ran over by Emma--in full Elsa gear--d
arting to see her long-lost auntie.
"Slow down," I said.
She rattled off an apology, but didn't really slow down. Any other day I probably would have jumped on her about it, but tonight I was tired. And she was excited. I couldn't blame her. New person and all. I heard her colliding with Autumn, and my sister's cooing over how big Emma had gotten.
I sighed at the sight of the playroom--toys everywhere.
While I started picking up, I went through a mental list of what I'd need to do to move me and Emma out of Mom's house for good.
Because if Autumn was back, then I wasn't going to be able to stay. Our animosity was as legendary as me and Shelby's fight under the bleachers.
While some of it was the typical "jealous sister" bit--and I knew that--there were other things that were a little more complicated. A lot of it had to do with Autumn being unable to commit to anything.
Personally, I thought she was narcissistic.
Mom said that I exaggerated--Autumn was just like her father.
Which explained a lot. He couldn't commit to anything either, according to the snipits I heard from Mom over the years.
Regardless, Autumn and I never did well together. We were very close in age, and as kids, we fought all the time. Winter was forever trying to keep us from killing each other.
"See Auntie Autumn, here's my dolly. Her hair is just like yours!" Emma held up her red-haired Monster High doll.
"Well, I'll be. She sure is." Autumn held the doll next to her face. "We could be sisters!"
I snorted. "Come on, Emma, help me pack up these dolls and put them back in your room." Emma jumped into the middle of her dolly tea party and started packing all the little pieces away into their bins.
"Cute dolls," Autumn said, picking up another doll--this one with green hair. "Maybe I should do this one next time."
I raised my eyebrow. "I won't do it."
"Did I ask you to?"
I didn't say anything--again, witty comeback void in my brain--and took the box of toys into Emma's room and tried to stash it somewhere.
"Sheesh, you don't even care that I'm here?" Autumn said, following me.
"I'm happy you're home Autumn," I said as politely as I could. Tonight, that was in hairstylist voice. And I'm pretty sure Autumn noticed. "How long are you staying this time?"
She took a seat on Emma's bed. "Not sure yet. I'm waiting to hear back on--"
"So you're jobless."
"Rude," Autumn said. "And no, Mom said I could work at the salon while Mikelann was on maternity leave. Guess she's leaving next week."
Migraine eminent.
I rubbed my brow. "Well, you at least know how to be a receptionist."
She shrugged. "It's only temporary. I've got an application in with an airline to be a flight attendant."
"You'll like that, you'll get to travel around." I tried to be happy for my sister. And it wasn't like I didn't want her to find the right place for herself in the world, but I just found her listless existence, well, annoying.
"I know, I'm giddy. I can't wait to hear back about it."
Emma came in, grunting as she pushed a tub into the room. "Mommy where can I put this?"
I took the tub and stacked it with the one I'd brought in already. They were making Emma's little room look even smaller, but there wasn't much that could be done about that right now.
We'll figure something out. And it may involve us finding our own place.
"You're going to be on airplanes?" Emma asked, her eyes wide.
"Yes, I will. I'll help passengers get seated, bring them drinks, and take care of them while they're flying."
"That sounds amazing," Emma said, holding her arms out and zooming around her tiny space.
I left them both to their conversation, because, well, as the mommy here, I had things to take care of.
Surely Autumn wouldn't stay long, would she?
Chapter Eight
Wednesday
"You're kidding," Ortiz--the rookie--said as they took in the chaos before them. Hennessey took a couple of breaths. He expected a certain amount of noise and people, but this was a little more than he anticipated.
Deep breath.
"It's a good cause, right Sarge?" Miller said.
Kids roamed the gymnasium, moving from one section to another. Each table had something going on--the sign outside said charity drive, but really, this was more elaborate than Summer claimed.
There was one set of tables where kids were doing crafts, another set where a line of adults handed out piles of papers to parents and kids, and a third where people were turning in their donated supplies.
He clenched the bag of school supplies in his hand a little tighter.
"Well, where are the haircuts," Ortiz asked.
"Over there," Miller replied. On the far wall sat a row of seven hydraulic chairs, each manned with a different barber.
Hair stylist.
Whatever.
Right in the middle was Summer, working on a little boy's haircut. When she finished, the boy handed her a coin and she spun around, dropping it in a jar behind her.
"So how does this work, Sarge?" Miller asked.
"Over here," he said, walking to the table where people were handing over their supplies.
Behind the table was a young woman with super-bright red hair. She grinned at them as they approached.
"Hiya boys! How are you doing today?"
"Fine," Ortiz said, flashing his pearly whites at her.
"Bet you handsome fellas need some haircuts, huh?" she grinned back.
"Are you cutting hair today?" Ortiz asked, and rubbed his head.
She laughed. "No, but the ones who are do amazing work." She gestured to the row of people cutting hair. "So do I need to explain what you boys need to do?"
"All ears, ma'am," Ortiz said.
Hennessey glared at the rookie, but said nothing.
"I see you brought a fine looking bag of supplies." She accepted the bag from Hennessey, and jerked. "And heavy! My goodness. Thank you!" She put the bag under the table. "Here you boys go. Three tokens. Give your token to the person who cut your hair."
"And we just, what, wait for the next person?" Ortiz asked.
"Yeah, that's about it. You can sit over there and wait." She gestured to a bench just to the side of the people cutting hair.
There were a few ahead of them, but not too many.
Maybe they wouldn't be here too long. They walked over to the benches and took a seat. A couple of women were smiling and nodding to them, but Hennessey ignored their obvious flirtation.
His attention was glued to Summer as she worked. She seemed so relaxed, yet she also seemed like she knew exactly what she was doing.
Like she'd been doing it forever.
She probably had been.
"Mister Maffew! Mister Maffew!"
He turned, and barreling toward him was Emma, hair in piggy tails and in her arm, the teddy bear they'd won from the pizzeria.
His two coworkers glanced at him just as she leaped into Hennessey's arms. While a slightly awkward catch, he was able to keep the kid from injuring herself, and not knock them both backwards off the bench, either.
Such trust that I'd catch her. He marveled at this little girl's faith.
She took a deep sniff of his fatigues and grinned. "Mister Maffew! Are you getting a haircut today?" She reached for his hair and brushed her hands along the sides.
He smiled at the little girl. "Yes I am, Emma. I didn't know you would be here."
"I'm helping Mama. Me and Grandma Bettes are keeping an eye on the kids." She waved her arms toward the children playing at one of the tables. "But they're good. Grandma told me I could have a break."
"That's nice."
She poked him in the chest. "So when are you going to come over again? There are many more princesses that we need to talk about."
Ortiz snickered.
Miller was staring at the ceiling, trying to keep a straight
face.
"Well, princesses are nice, but boys don't really, uh, play with princesses."
Ugh. How was he going to live this one down?
"Princesses aren't just wishy-washy girls. Don't you know Princess Leia? She fights Darth Vader and Storm Troopers and The Empire," she whispered the last of it, like it was a big secret.
Miller had to turn away.
"I always liked Luke Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi."
She stuck her tongue out at him. "They use magic. They just call it something else."
"The Force," Miller said.
"Yeah, The Force," Emma said, grinning. "But that's all it is. Magic set in outer space."
"Leave it to a kid to break it down," Ortiz said.
"You got that right," Miller said.
"We could watch the Star Wars if you want, Mister Maffew, when you come over for your play date."
He opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by an older woman, who he could only assume was Grandma Bettes. "Emma, what are you doing to this man?" She tried to pull Emma off Hennessey's lap, but Emma wrapped her arms around his neck.
"This is my Mister Maffew Grandma!"
The woman froze, her stare cold. "I see," the woman said.
Hennessey stood, Emma still wrapped around him, and held out his free hand. "Matthew Hennessey, ma'am. I served with your son. He was an honorable man. My condolences on your loss."
"Thank you." She reached for Emma, but she still didn't look very happy. "Now come on Emma, we don't want to hold up your Mister Matthew. He needs to get his hair cut now."
Hennessey turned to look. Sure enough, Summer's station was open.
Ortiz started to head over, and he glared at the rookie.
Ortiz sat back down and Hennessey crossed to Summer's available chair.
Summer was cleaning up her station when he approached. "Well hey you. How are you doing today?" she asked, with a bright smile on her face, though her gaze darted to the crowd, then back at him.
"Not bad, yourself?" He said as he sat down.
"Can't complain." She wrapped a cloth cape around his neck. "Actually I can, but it doesn't do any good, you know?" She stepped around so she faced him, standing on his side. "So what kind of hair cut do you want?"
Summer Burns Page 5
