by Melissa Hill
Karen smiled despite herself, at the catchphrase.
Buoyed by the softening of her expression, he went on. “Everything was going brilliantly. The job is terrific and the social life is just like being here at home, there are so many other Irish lads over there. I had no problems fitting in but –”
“But what?” Karen interrupted, dropping her hands, and placing them on her hips. “Let me guess,” she said nastily, before she could stop herself, “you missed Lydia so much you had to come back here, is that it?”
She saw something in his eyes then, and instantly regretted her outburst. Shane looked at her as though she had just slapped him across the face. He stood back.
“What’s the real problem here?” he said, and she heard his voice begin to rise as something snapped within him. “Why are you acting like this? I’ve been nothing but honest with you about everything from the very beginning. OK, we’ve had our ups and downs…no,” he shook his head, “I take that back – we’ve had one down, and plenty of ups throughout this relationship and you’re carrying on as though I’m some kind of asshole. I’ve told you time and time again that nothing happened between Lydia and me. I’ve never been unfaithful to you. I made one stupid mistake in not discussing my plans for Germany, and now I’m back. I’ve even given up the stupid job for you. And it’s still not enough. What more do you want from me ....” Shane walked back and forth, running his hands through his hair. “I just can’t win here, can I? No matter what I say or do, I just can’t win.”
Karen wasn’t sure what to think. She’d never seen Shane so angry. She was usually the one that needed calming down in any arguments they had – it had always been Shane doing the calming. It wasn’t a pleasant experience. His face was bright red and his fists so clenched she was afraid he might try to put one through the wall.
“Look, I’m sorry,” she conceded. “It’s just a shock, seeing you here – I suppose it’s just my way of hitting back at you.” She shrugged her shoulders again. “Please, go on with what you were saying…about Germany and everything.”
But Shane seemed to have lost all patience with her. “It doesn’t matter,” he said, waving her away, as he stomped towards the door, “forget I said anything. Forget about the whole bloody lot of it.” He opened the door, went to walk through it, then paused and looked back at Karen, his eyes tired and sad. “I think I have your answer now anyway.”
He walked out the door and began descending the stairs.
Karen stood alone in the flat, her mind racing, as she tried to get to grips with her feelings. Shane had just proposed to her. And all she could do was stand there and insult him. She ran out the door and caught up with him on the second floor landing. “Shane, wait.”
He stopped and looked up at her from the steps below, the expression on his face unreadable. “Yes?” he sighed.
“What do you mean? I haven’t given you an answer yet,” she said indignantly. “You can’t propose to someone, and then tell them to forget all about it. You have to wait for an answer at least.”
They looked at one other for what seemed like an age. Then, to Karen’s surprise, she saw Shane’s mouth break into a wide grin. “You’re just so damn stubborn, aren’t you?” he said, shaking his head and smiling as he started up the stairs again. “You have to have the last word all the time, whether you’re wrong or right.”
“I don’t always have to have the last word,” she said contritely.
“Well, are you going to apologise?”
“For what?”
“For once.”
A flicker of a smile crossed Karen’s lips, but she didn’t apologise.
Shane shook his head and smiled. “I just don’t know what to do with you, Karen Cassidy.”
“Well, what are you going to do with me?” she grinned, as he took her in his arms and kissed her.
“I’ll show you.”
He scooped her up in his arms, and went back upstairs to her bedroom, kicking a pile of discarded clothes and shoes out of his path as he went.
Laying her carefully on the bed, he kissed her deeply with a raw, passionate kiss. Then he made love to her with such intensity, that Karen thought it had nearly been worth all the time they had spent apart.
Much later, they lay underneath the covers, bodies entangled.
Shane looked at across at Karen and smiled. Then his eyes lit up, as if remembering something. Suddenly he threw back the covers, and jumped out of the bed and onto his knees. Karen watched him with undisguised amusement.
Shane grinned, as he took her hand in his. “Karen, for the second time, will you marry me?”
Tears of happiness pricked the corners of her eyes.
“Well, what’s your answer?” Shane asked impatiently.
This time there was no hesitation in her reply.
“The answer’s definitely yes, Shane,” she said giggling. “How could I say no to a proposal like that?”
“Oh – that’s fantastic news!” Jenny said, with genuine enthusiasm. An excited Karen had just phoned her. “How romantic.”
“Well, it wasn’t exactly romantic, Jen,” Karen said, laughing. “We had a bit of an argument beforehand, and I made it very hard for him before I eventually said yes.”
“Typical,” Jenny said, with a grin. “You’re a hard woman. Poor old Shane has got his work cut out for him.”
“Poor old Shane? You traitor – don’t you mean poor old me? Anyway, I didn’t know whether to ring you or not. I know what you’re going through now, and I wasn’t sure –”
“Karen, are you mad? I’d murder you if you didn’t tell me. This is terrific news, it’s just what I need, to be honest.”
“How are you feeling?”
“A lot better now, I think.”
“Good. Well, come back whenever you feel like it. We’re going to Shane’s house on Saturday, but otherwise I’ll be here at the flat. Give me a ring when you’re coming back, will you?”
Jenny nodded, forgetting that Karen couldn’t see her. “Thanks for ringing. And tell Shane I said congratulations too. We’ll have to organise a big celebration soon.”
Sh tried to sound brighter than she felt. Although she was genuinely delighted for her friend, she couldn’t help feeling a tiny bit envious. It was the same old story, really. Her love life was in tatters, while Karen’s couldn’t be better. Her friend was on top of the world, while Jenny was so low she thought her feet might pop out down in Australia somewhere.
She was so pleased for Karen, though. She had handled the break-up with Shane brilliantly. Having had a quick cry about it, she had taken some time out to be on her own, and then got on with her life. She hadn’t collapsed in a heap and wanted to crawl into a hole, shutting herself away from everything.
Not for the first time, Jenny wished she could possess just a tiny piece of her friend’s strength. These last few days had been an absolute nightmare, and she hadn’t slept more than a few hours all week. Her father had been very curious as to why Jenny wasn’t at work, but her mum had been a little more sympathetic because she had known about the trip, and had obviously figured things out for herself.
Jenny had lied when she told Karen she was feeling better. The numbness was there constantly, underlying all the confusion and disappointment she had felt since discovering that Roan had gone to Venice without her.
In fact, Jenny thought, as she hung up the phone, she had hardly stopped crying since that night. As she had nothing else to do but think about the entire situation and feel sorry for herself, it was impossible to stop the tears from flowing. With the amount of water that had fallen from her eyes, Jenny thought, she could do away with at least half of Africa’s drought problems.
Wearily, she went upstairs to her bedroom hoping to sleep for maybe an hour or two.
Hours later, she was still lying on the bed – her eyes wide open.
So many thoughts just kept going round and round in her head. Why did she have to mess everything up like that? Roan lo
ved her, didn’t he? Despite all the accusations she had made, and despite the fact that he must think she didn’t trust him. Why wasn’t that enough for her? Jenny wondered. What more did she want?
She thought about Roan and Siobhan together in Venice. Were they in bed together now, at this very moment? Was he making love to Siobhan, like he made love to her so many times before? Was the sex better with Siobhan? Of course it would be better, she thought, the tears smarting at her eyes again. Venice was one of the most romantic places in the world. They were probably at it like rabbits, just like the way she and Roan had been at the beginning, before she had lost the plot and started behaving like some kind of crazed psycho-girlfriend. That time watching Fatal Attraction with Karen must have had affected her subconscious – something definitely had.
Why had she been so stupid? If she hadn’t been so insistent about his paying back the money, and being an ungrateful cow, then she wouldn’t be in this situation now.
Naturally, he would bring someone else – someone that would at least appreciate the thought and effort that had gone into it all She had been so unfair to him all along –firstly accusing him of giving her that STI and then practically throwing the holiday back in his face. Why did she have to be such a fool sometimes?
Jenny turned over onto her stomach to try and get comfortable. She was sick of torturing herself. She so longed for Roan to take her in his arms, and tell her that everything was going to be fine, that it was all a big mistake and Siobhan meant nothing to him.
Jenny shook her head violently from side to side. Why couldn’t it all just go away? She was so sick of trying to figure it out, so sick of all the questions. It was her own fault for messing things up, with her accusations and moaning about money.
Jenny sat up and studied her reflection in the mirror for a long, long time. Her hair was stringy, her skin raw and red from crying. She couldn’t look any worse if she tried.
Lydia had told her that Siobhan was tall and stunning, with a perfect figure. The girl was a model, for goodness sake – she was probably better than perfect. Jenny sighed. Siobhan and Roan must look so right together, the perfect couple.
People on the streets – or, more likely, the canals – were probably stopping the two of them, wondering if they were famous Hollywood stars, or something.
Jenny critically looked at her reflection once more. Why would Roan want someone like her for a girlfriend, when he could have Siobhan?
Chapter 17
“Which one do you think I should wear – the cardigan, or the jacket?” Karen asked Jenny. She and Shane were going to Kilrigh for the day to meet Shane’s mother, and even though she kept telling Jenny that she wasn’t nervous, Karen had to admit to herself that she was.
“The cardigan,” Jenny said firmly. “The jacket is too … officey, or something?”
“Officey? What kind of a word is that?” Karen asked, whilst studying her reflection. The black fitted cardigan did look better with the dress she was wearing and she knew what Jenny meant. She wanted to look smart, but not too formal. The dress was elegant, but the cardigan made the outfit look casual and easygoing, the image that she wanted to project to Mrs Quinn.
“I don’t know what I’m so worried about, anyway,” she said, trying to find a stray shoe from the pile at the bottom of her wardrobe, “we’re already engaged – it’s not as though I have to pass a test.” She found the black sling-back she was after, and dusted it off with a tissue.
“It’s a test of sorts though, isn’t it? She’s going to be your mother-in-law, after all,” Jenny said seriously, fully aware of Karen’s nervousness, and trying her best to stop herself from laughing. “If she doesn’t like you, she could make your life hell. You read about these things in the problem pages all the time.”
“Well, if she doesn’t like me, it’s her tough,” Karen said airily, studying her make-up closely in the mirror. Was she wearing too much mascara?
Jenny collapsed on the bed laughing. “I’m only joking, you fool. Sure she’ll like you, why wouldn’t she?”
“Oh, stop trying to make me nervous.”
“Alright, I’m sorry – I admit it. I am trying to make you nervous,” Jenny said, lying back on the bed, her hands behind her head. “I’m sure you’ll get on fine. Shane is normal enough. I’m sure his mother will be too.”
“We’ll have to see.”
They went back into the sitting-room to wait for Shane.
“What are you going to do this weekend?” asked Karen. “Will you be alright on your own?”
“Yep,” Jenny said, brightly. “I’m going to take a leaf out of your book, by not spending another second crying over men. I’ve got the new Patricia Scanlan novel, and a tub of Ben & Jerry’s to keep me going for the night, and then tomorrow I’m meeting Tessa in town for a bit of shopping.”
“Good stuff, Jen, that’s what I like to hear,” Karen said, although secretly she worried about her friend. Jenny had been a little too sprightly since coming back from Kilkenny the day before. Karen knew that Roan should have been back from Venice this morning, but Jenny hadn’t mentioned him at all. She suspected that she was just trying to put a brave face on it. She couldn’t have put it all out of her head in the space of a few days.
A car horn beeped twice from the street outside.
“Right, that’s Shane,” Karen said, standing up and looking out the window at the street below; where Shane waited in his newly-bought two-year-old Opel Astra. “I’ll see you later, Jen – wish me luck, OK?” She checked her appearance once more in the mirror, before rushing out the door.
“Don’t worry, you’ll have a great time,” Jenny shouted down the stairs after her.
She slumped back down on the couch, and checked her watch.
Roan would be here in less than an hour.
Roan paid for the flowers, and put the change in his pocket. He’d have to think quickly. Jenny would probably give him hell and, in fairness, he wouldn’t blame her.
But what could he do? Siobhan had come home early from a cancelled assignment and had phoned him, all excited about the trip. His mother had told Siobhan’s mother about his winning the competition and all of a sudden Roan was backed into a corner that he couldn’t get out of. He had to take Siobhan. It wasn’t easy – nor was it bloody cheap, Roan thought grudgingly – getting the airline to change the passenger names at such short notice.
And after all that, now he was sorry that he hadn’t brought Jenny. She was great fun, and rarely whinged at him like Siobhan did. He frowned. Siobhan had been very difficult company on the holiday. She hadn’t appreciated the trip as much as he’d thought she would. In fact, she carried on as though it was her due. OK, they hadn’t spent much time together lately, but that was more her fault than his. He couldn’t help it if his girlfriend was in such demand that she was never in the country, could he? He was seriously thinking of finishing with her at this stage. Kevin had given him a right ear-bashing when he came back from Venice. Apparently, Jenny had phoned the flat, and Kevin had stupidly given her his home number.
“I didn’t know what to say to the poor girl when she rang, all excited about going away with you,” he had said, “and you off gallivanting with no intention whatsoever of letting her know she wasn’t going. I’ve had enough, Roan. I’m not covering your ass any more.”
He hadn’t wanted to hear Roan’s side of the story at all, and had barely spoken to him since. That bird Andrea he was seeing was causing most of the problems between them, he reckoned. She reminded him a lot of your one Karen. She had Kev wrapped around her little finger, with all her moods and tantrums.
Kevin had changed all right he thought, shaking his head. Just because he was settling down with one woman didn’t mean that everyone else had to do the same. There’d be plenty of time for that later. And he had covered his friend’s ass to birds, many times over the years.
Luckily he had a good story and if Jenny forgave him as Roan was sure she would, things could get
difficult if Kevin refused to cover for him.
He frowned. It might be time to say goodbye to Siobhan – for a while, anyway. He’d get Jenny back on side for now, and afterwards, he could start paying Siobhan a little attention again. As usual, she’d come running back. No problem.
Roan pressed the doorbell outside Jenny’s flat. She buzzed him inside without answering the intercom, and when he saw her standing at the top of the stairs with her arms crossed, he knew that this mightn’t be as easy as he’d thought. He’d have to play a blinder.
“Hi,” he said, handing her the flowers, and giving her a kiss on the cheek.
“What do you mean ‘hi’? And if you think that a cheap bunch of supermarket flowers will soften me up, you have another think coming.” That was good, she thought, that was exactly like something Karen would say. Act tough, and don’t let him away without a proper explanation.
“Did you have a nice time in Venice?” she asked, turning her back to him, her arms folded.
“It was OK,” he said. “I missed you though.”
Jenny spun around in surprise. “You missed me. Where did you get the time to miss me, Roan? I thought you would have had enough on your hands with Siobhan.” She felt her hands shake as she spoke. This was no good – she was going to crack soon. She had had great intentions of acting cold and unforgiving towards him, but it was so hard now that he was here.
“Siobhan? What are you talking about?” Roan asked, with what sounded like genuine surprise.
“Siobhan, your supposed ex-girlfriend – the one you brought to Venice instead of me?”
“What? I didn’t go with Siobhan – who told you that?” Roan said, incredulously. “She gave me a lift to the airport, that’s all.”
