by Paula Weston
He glances at my bandaged neck. ‘Would they do this to her?’
‘Why would they?’ She’s not one of them. She’s not me.
‘Who knows what they’re capable of.’ Jason runs a hand over his face. He’s tired and agitated, and won’t look at Rafa.
I glance from one to the other, and the pieces fall together. ‘You told him.’
‘It seemed wrong not to, under the circumstances.’
Rafa sits on the arm at the other end of the couch.
‘What happened?’ I ask him.
‘Goldilocks found Daisy’s number in my phone and rang her while I was out of the room.’
‘There was no answer,’ Jason says. ‘I didn’t leave a message, but she rang back anyway.’
‘She didn’t know it was my number,’ Rafa says, ‘but when she got me, she told me what happened in the cage. She didn’t exactly suggest I come get you, but she let me know where you were, and when you’d be unguarded.’ He unlaces his boots. ‘I didn’t know if she was lying about the hellion, but there’s no way I could heal you on my own if you’d been drained. I was about to call for back-up when your buddy here dropped his little bombshell.’
Jason stands up. ‘I need to sleep. Have you got another pillow?’
‘Try the second door on the right,’ Rafa says. ‘The bed’s made if you want it. And Goldilocks?’ Jason pauses at the door. ‘I’m not finished with you.’
Jason disappears into the shadows. Somewhere in the dark, a door opens and closes and then bedsprings squeak.
‘I only found out tonight,’ I say. ‘He told me about two minutes before Daniel turned up.’
I instantly regret mentioning Daniel’s visit. I don’t want to have that conversation. ‘Daisy got in the cage with me,’ I say. ‘Did she tell you that?’
Rafa kicks his boots off. ‘Daisy said you fought that hell-turd on your own.’ He doesn’t look at me.
‘I did.’ There’s a small, belated spark of pride. ‘Actually, Daisy got in the cage but Daniel ordered her out. She stood her ground for all of a minute, and then left me in there on my own.’
Rafa shrugs. ‘That’s what happens at the Sanctuary. Everyone obeys. You used to be like that.’
‘Bullshit.’
He shakes his head. ‘You have no idea how ironic this is.’
‘But she just caved in. I don’t get it. What’s the worst thing that could have happened?’
‘If you disobey one of the Five? You get cut off.’
‘Cut off from what?’
‘From Nathaniel. From your family. Not everyone’s in a hurry to get kicked out of home.’
‘You left. So did Jude.’
‘Yeah, but we all paid a price.’
As usual, everything he tells me about the Rephaim brings more questions, but I’m too tired to ask them.
Rafa yawns. ‘Got room for me under there?’
I roll onto my side so there’s space for him at the back of the couch. He gets under the blanket and eases me back to where I was so he can look at me. There are dark circles under his eyes.
‘You’re a mess,’ I say.
He laughs. ‘You can talk. You stink like a hell-turd.’
‘I know. It’s revolting.’
‘We’ll get you cleaned up in the morning.’ He touches the dressing on my neck. ‘The Five must be desperate, to let a hellion feed on you. I can’t believe Pretty Boy stood there and watched.’ He runs his thumb along my collarbone, almost absently. ‘And you cut its head off?’
I flinch at the memory. ‘Yeah.’
‘So you still know how to swing a sword.’
‘I just remembered what I dreamed.’
‘It takes a lot of strength to cut through a neck that thick.’
I have no idea how to describe what happened when that thing drank from me. ‘I had a moment.’
‘A moment?’
‘A burst of strength. It lasted long enough to save me. Then it went.’
‘You haven’t felt it since?’
‘If I had, Daniel wouldn’t still be in possession of his balls.’
‘Now that I’d like to see.’ He gives me a long look that I can’t quite read, and then settles down behind me.
‘Thanks for coming for me,’ I say, quietly.
He tightens the blankets around us. ‘I should have done a better job of convincing you not to go there.’
‘Is that an apology?’
His lips move against my ear. ‘As close to one as you’re getting at this hour. Now, stop talking and go to sleep.’
‘Hiding out here isn’t getting Mags back.’
‘Neither is shifting when you’re shattered.’
I’m alone on the couch. Rafa and Jason are talking quietly in the room. It’s still dark and the fire is down to embers.
‘I’m fine,’ Jason says.
‘You won’t be when we shift with Gabe again. Hellion bites are hard work. What is it with you and Maggie? You’ve known her for, what, five minutes?’
‘No shorter than you’ve known Gaby, and don’t tell me you weren’t torn up two hours ago.’
‘That’s different. We’ve got a century or so of history.’
‘Not anymore, you don’t.’
Rafa ignores him. ‘You’re one of us, so I get why Maggie is so into you—humans can’t help themselves. But what’s up with you? I mean, she’s hot, but so are a thousand other women.’
‘How many women do you know who could see and hear what she has in the last few days and be cool with it?’
‘Is that it? You’ve been waiting to find that special girl who can cope with the fact you’re not human?’
A sigh. ‘Yeah, well, we’re not all walking cocks.’
‘God, Nathaniel’s going to love you.’
‘That’ll be hard, given he’s never going to have the chance. I have no intention of joining him—or anyone else.’
‘Is that right?’ The fire spits and hisses. ‘You’re going to crawl back to that rock you’ve been hiding under all these years?’
‘We’re not talking about any of this until Mags is safe.’
It takes some effort, but I sit up. ‘What time is it at home?’
A green light radiates from Jason’s wrist as he checks his watch. ‘About ten in the morning.’
My shirt is stiff with dried blood. I stand up. ‘So, I can’t be forced to shift, even if I’m sleeping? You said if you were unconscious…’
‘I didn’t mean asleep. If someone grabbed you, you’d wake up. Unconscious as in knocked out.’
‘Then there’s no reason we can’t go home.’
‘Apart from Taya turning up and kicking the shit out of you again.’
I touch the bandage on my neck. The wound is tender, but it doesn’t feel like the skin is broken anymore. ‘I’m hoping you might stop that from happening.’
‘Oh, you want my help now?’
I wish I could see his face. I can’t read his mood from his voice alone. ‘Yes.’
‘Please tell me this isn’t about your job at the library.’
‘I don’t work Tuesdays.’ I run my fingers through my hair and don’t get far. ‘But we’re not going to find out where Mags is unless we go back to Pan Beach. Daniel has to negotiate now, and to do that he has to be able to find me. And Mags is due to start work in an hour.’
Rafa moves closer. ‘So?’
‘Her mum will come looking for her if she doesn’t show. Mags never bails on a shift, not since her dad died, and there’s no way I’m telling Bryce her only child is missing. I’ll cover her shift.’
‘Will that work?’ It’s Jason who asks the question.
‘It’ll have to.’
JUST ASKING
‘Your place or Rafa’s?’ Jason asks.
The fire is completely out and we’re ready to go.
‘Mine,’ I say.
‘Which room?’
‘It doesn’t matter.’ Rafa takes me by the elbow. ‘I’ll look after
that. You worry about healing her. I can manage both, but you don’t have the skill.’
As he has every time, Rafa pulls me to him and, almost out of habit, I slide my arms around him. We shift to the bathroom at the bungalow, to the smell of cherry blossom shampoo and Maggie’s Chanel No. 5. The room settles around us, and the sound of the ocean replaces the wind.
Home.
Jason looks at me, and slips away.
I lean against Rafa while the feeling comes back into my body.
‘Gabe,’ he says, and swallows. ‘It’s okay. Please don’t cry.’
‘I’m not.’ I brush my face against his t-shirt.
He rubs my back, sighs. ‘You never used to do this, you know.’
‘What, I didn’t cry?’
‘Not in front of me.’
I’m still hanging on to him. His hand settles in the small of my back.
‘You never cared this much about people either, apart from Jude.’
I look up at him. ‘What do you mean?’
‘It usually took you a decade or so before you decided you liked someone, let alone got close to them.’
‘Yeah, well, I’m not that person. I’m not Gabe.’
He raises his eyebrows at me.
‘Okay, so maybe I don’t make friends as easily as some people. But with Mags, it’s different. We just clicked. It’s like I’ve known her forever.’ I rub my eyes, weary again. ‘How was the shift? Easier that time?’
He nods. ‘You feel just about mended. But you’ve ruined my shirt.’
I look down and see the cotton is flecked with dried blood. ‘You’re the one who insists on keeping me close.’
His lips twitch and he stands back to get a better look at me. All traces of playfulness disappear. ‘Let me see.’ He reaches for the hem of my ruined shirt, but waits for me to nod before lifting it. He examines the dressing and then sits on the edge of the bath. I hold up the tattered fabric as he carefully removes the bandages from my side.
‘That doesn’t look too bad.’ He runs his fingertips lightly over the wound. The claw marks have healed closed, and black sutures stick out of the puckered flesh. Rafa takes tweezers and small scissors from a chipped mug on the sink. ‘This’ll feel weird, but it won’t hurt.’
‘I’ve had stitches before.’
He glances up.
‘From the accident.’
‘Oh, yeah.’ He works quickly and soon has them out. ‘Sixteen.’ He holds out his palm to show me. ‘Let me see your neck.’
Again he peels off the bandages with studied care. How many times has he done this over the years? How many times has he done it for me?
He makes a small noise of disapproval. ‘This is going to scar pretty bad.’
I touch the spot above my collarbone where the hellion fed from me. I can’t make sense of what I feel, so I go to the mirror. It looks like I’ve been bitten by a shark—a small shark with two rows of sharp teeth. The yellow bruise has two arcs of punctures, all of them closed over but still red and angry.
‘I guess I should be glad it didn’t bite through.’ I join the dots with my fingertip, completing the circle.
Rafa comes up behind me. ‘It’ll fade. You’ll just have to grow your hair to cover it.’
Like my hair doesn’t already have a big enough job covering that other monstrosity on my neck.
‘I need a shower.’
‘You really do.’ Rafa gives me a half-smile in the mirror. ‘You want a hand?’
‘I’ll be fine.’
He doesn’t move. Is he going to touch me again?
‘I hear you’ve been with every Rephaite in a skirt.’
Crap. Where did that come from?
‘Who told you that?’ His smile shifts into something less amused. ‘Daniel. Who else? The prick.’
‘Is he a liar?’
Rafa leans against the pale wall. ‘I haven’t been with everyone.’
‘What about Taya?’
‘Hell, no. I’m no monk, but I have standards.’
I wonder what else Daniel was wrong about. ‘What about me?’
Rafa’s teasing smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes. ‘You had standards too.’
I turn away so he can’t see the heat climbing my cheeks. ‘I won’t be long. See you in the kitchen.’
I wait until I hear the door shut but still turn to check he’s on the other side of it. Then I peel off my clothes and throw them in the corner, for burning at the first opportunity. The water pressure is as weak as ever, but I’m okay with gentleness. I rest my head against the tiles and let its warmth wash over me. Slowly, I come back into my body again. Here, in this old bathroom, I’m more myself than at any point at the Sanctuary. The water circling down the drain finally runs clear instead of reddish-brown.
I put on a white t-shirt and black skirt. For once, the long scar across my knee seems inconsequential. I have to tie my hair back—Bryce won’t have it any other way if I’m serving food—so I grab a lime-green silk scarf from Maggie’s collection to cover the bite marks.
The guys are in the kitchen. Rafa is reading the paper and Jason is rummaging in the fridge, pulling out our collection of almost empty jam jars. The smell of fresh toast makes my stomach rumble.
‘You could have told me they keep hellions at the Sanctuary,’ I say to Rafa, but not with any accusation. I put the scarf aside to help Jason butter toast.
‘I didn’t know they did. It makes no sense. They’re useless as prisoners because they’ve got the vocabulary of a warthog and the brain function of a slug, and only an idiot would use them for training.’
‘Why’s that?’
‘It’s not worth the risk. If they get a taste of one of us and manage to escape, they can track us—’ His face changes. ‘Son of a bitch.’
‘What?’
Rafa shakes his head slowly. ‘That’s why they let it in the cage. The Five didn’t want the hell-turd to kill you, just to get a taste of you. They must have been planning to let you go, and then get it to track you, although I don’t know how they thought they were going to control it.’
‘But why? They have to know this is the only place I’d come.’
‘They think you’re going to lead them to the Fallen. But now you’ve gone and cut the head off their bloodhound.’ He gives a short laugh and flicks through the paper to the sports section. ‘God, I wish I could’ve seen Pretty Boy’s face.’
I try to absorb this theory. I can’t.
‘Why do they still want Mags?’ Jason asks.
‘They never wanted her,’ Rafa says. ‘She’s just a way to Gabe.’
‘Then they don’t need her anymore.’
‘They need her now more than ever. Your little girlfriend is the only bargaining chip they’ve got.’
He’s right, but I don’t want to think about what that means.
‘Aside from Daniel, who else is part of the Five?’ I pick up the scarf and loop it around my neck. It won’t sit the way I want it to.
‘As far as I know, it’s still Zeb, Calista, Uriel and Magda. Daniel and Calista used to be soldiers, and Uriel still goes on a few missions. Zeb’s a priest and Magda’s a professor of psychology or philosophy or some such shit. Nathaniel likes to have all three Rephaite disciplines covered.’ Rafa counts them off on his fingers. ‘Military, religious, academic.’
I fiddle with the scarf again. Accessories are not my thing. Maggie would have me sorted in no time. Even Daniel would have more of an idea about how to wear a scarf than I do.
I toss it on the table.
Rafa raises his eyebrows. ‘I bet Goldilocks can fix that for you.’
Jason snatches it up. ‘It’s not rocket science.’ He loops the scarf over my head, twists it inside itself and turns it so it sits over the bite.
‘Let me guess—a semester at fashion school?’
‘I’ve spent a lot of time around women.’
I want to ask which women in particular, but I know he’s not going to talk about his
past in front of Rafa.
‘Did Daniel get a good look at you at the Sanctuary?’ I ask.
‘It doesn’t matter anymore. Not now I know they can’t force me to shift.’
Rafa flicks the paper shut. ‘How the hell have you managed to keep a head on your shoulders all these years?’
‘By keeping a low profile.’
‘More like dodging responsibility.’
I sigh. ‘Are you two going to bicker the whole time I’m gone?’
‘What are you talking about? I’m coming with you,’ Rafa says.
‘Me too,’ Jason says. ‘I want to be there if Taya shows up.’
I fiddle with the silk, trying to figure out how Jason looped it.
‘And what’s the plan when she—or anyone else—arrives?’
Jason and I both look to Rafa. He’s picking at a spot of dried blood on his shirt.
‘I’ll think of something.’
I’d kind of been hoping for more than that.
COLOURS BLEED TOGETHER
Jason parks the car on the beach side of the esplanade and they watch me cross the road to the Green Bean.
The outdoor tables are packed with sunburnt tourists, sipping lattes and watching the surf roll in. The only locals I recognise are the Williamsons, already done with their morning walk. They look up from their croissants and wave. I check my hair and my story, and go inside. Maggie’s mum spots me from behind the counter.
‘Gaby, where is Margaret Jane?’
I force a sheepish grin. ‘Hi, Mrs Bailey. Sorry for the late notice. I’ve pinched a shift today if that’s okay.’
She gives me her best I-wasn’t-born-yesterday look. Bryce Bailey is blonde, like Maggie, with the same fine bone structure and huge brown eyes. Her fingernails are polished and her designer white linen dress is pristine. Bryce wears her grief like an old scar: it’s always there, but you have to look for it.
‘I know Thomas had his party last night, but Margaret is well aware she has responsibilities.’
I straighten the sugar packets on the counter. A chair scrapes behind me. ‘To be honest, I’m a bit short on cash this week, so she’s really doing me a favour.’
‘You’re not working in the library today?’
I shake my head.
She purses her lips. ‘Clear the outside tables. Then you can help Connie. Have you been using that espresso machine I gave you?’
