One night, after a long shift, where someone was in a horrific car accident, I found myself walking into the bar. My guard was down and I was wearing my guilt on my shoulders. Vessa was at the bar, talking to someone I recognized as a regular. She glanced over at me and smiled. Regrettably, I smiled back at her. Knowing that this was the first real time that I had showed any type of emotion, aside from being in a bad mood, she put herself out there. "How are you today, Sheriff?"
"Do you really want to know?" I sat down on a stool across from her and watched as she made my usual drink and slid it over.
"It's my job to ask."
"That isn't what I asked you." I realized that this was the most that I'd talked to her, aside from the times where a catastrophe had occurred.
She let out a giggle and shook her head. "Do you really want to know my opinion? I mean, you hardly say two words to me each time you come in to eat. I can take a hint and I know when my company isn't wanted. Just let me know what you want to eat and I will get it for you so you can head over to your corner and eat in private." She seemed offended immediately and turned around so that I couldn't see her face.
The person at the other end of the bar paid their tab and left, which meant it was only Vessa and I in the bar. We were in between the early and late dinner rush. This was a situation that I didn't want to be in. "It ain't about you, Vessa." I sort of yelled it across the bar. I don't know why I cared about her feelings, but I needed her to know that.
She walked back in front of me and put her hands on the bar to lean forward. "You actually know my name now?"
"I've always known your name. Look, I'm not the kind of guy that you want to know." She needed to stay away from me. I was bad luck and she was trying to start over.
"I will be the judge of who I keep company with, you got that?" She kept leaning in, waiting for me to respond. "You have no idea what I've been through. Don't you dare judge me."
I liked that she held her ground. Most people steered clear, but she kept pressing; waiting for an opening like I had just given her. "I stand corrected. I don't socialize."
"I see you socialize every time you play pool. Don't tell me you aren't capable."
I shook my head and regretted walking through the door. "That's different."
She walked away from me. I watched her leave the bar area and head over to the pool table. She picked up the cue ball and turned to face me. "Since we have to be around each other, I think it is only fair that I get to know you, at least a little."
I grabbed my glass and headed in her direction.
This was a terrible idea.
I approached her and looked down at the petite woman. "Only the winner gets to ask questions." This would guarantee that I didn't have to tell her anything about myself.
She smiled, while walking toward the bar again. Without looking back she called out, "I'm not that good."
I was going to be alright. I would beat her ass a couple of times and she would give up on the questioning. "Just try your best. We can play nine ball and you don't have to call your shot."
She grabbed a pool stick and fumbled it between her fingers, like she'd never held one before. "Is this right?"
I nodded and decided to give her the break. She positioned the cue ball and did her best to break up the rack. A few balls moved, but they didn't go far. I took my time, running out the balls, never giving her another shot. "I guess I get to ask the first question."
She seemed defeated, but this was her idea.
Vessa held her hands up. "Okay, be gentle."
"What are you running from?"
Her face got red and I could tell she was affected by my question. "I'm not running. I needed a new start after a bad relationship." She bent down and racked the balls again.
"We don't have to play this game if you don't want to."
Without a second thought, she stood up. "No, I'm getting the hang of it."
I shook my head as I broke up the rack. They scattered all over the table before two went into pockets. She leaned against the wall, watching me run out four more balls. I missed the fifth shot by nearly a quarter inch. Vessa walked toward the table and bent down to take her shot. She made a ball and jumped up and down. I couldn't help but notice her supple tits bouncing up and down. I was a man; a man who hadn't been with a woman in a very long time. With her next shot lined up, she leaned down and shot, but missed.
I looked over to see her pouting as I ran out the last few balls. Unlike the first game, I didn't wait for her to even start racking before asking the next question. "What's it like being a lesbian? Is it hard raising kids?"
She immediately broke out into laughter. "I wouldn't know. You'll have to ask a lesbian. Way to waste a question, though."
I knew it. I knew she was telling those guys a lie. "I just assumed...I mean, you did tell those men."
"Yeah, I did. I wouldn't give them the time of day. As far as I'm concerned all men are scum of the earth. No offense or anything. I just have a certain opinion about the male race."
"No offense taken. You can only judge what you know."
"Yeah, well my husband did a number on me. I've sworn off men, but not switched teams, at least not yet."
Just as I bent down to take another shot, three people walked into the bar. Vessa hung up her stick and headed to tend to them. I waited a little while, thinking the crowd would eat and leave, but more people came in. After having another few drinks and eating a sandwich, that I didn't even have to order, I called it a night. I tried to at least say goodbye to Vessa, but she was too busy to notice.
While driving home, I realized that it was the first time I'd almost opened up. I wasn't real sure how I felt about that. Sure, I knew the girl had no chance of beating me, so I wasn't that worried about it. Still, for some reason, it seemed like I might want to talk to her again. It made sense since I saw her at least two to three times a week.
I finished off the rest of my bottle of Jack at home. The more I drank, the more I pictured Vessa bending over taking shots. It was wrong, but it had been so long and I had needs, even if I lived a solitary life. I didn't know how monks did it, honestly.
The next morning I regretted opening up to Vessa. She was going to expect things to progress until she got her turn to ask questions. I needed to find another place to eat, or figure out how to work my stove and cook for myself. Ramen noodles weren't going to suffice seven nights a week. Knowing Sue, if she got wind of me not coming in, she'd probably hunt my ass down. It was time for me decide one way or another how I wanted to live the rest of my life. Did I really want to be alone with no friends?
Just as I was considering opening up and being more sociable, everything came crashing down on me when I got to police station. I'd no sooner got into my office, when my deputy came in and tossed the local paper on my desk. The front page made me feel ill.
TOWN SHERIFF LOST FAMILY IN CAR CRASH
"Sir, did you know they was goin' to print this?"
I was so enraged that someone had dug into my private life and announced it to the whole town. I grabbed my jacket and started walking back out. "If you need me, you can reach me on my cell."
I headed straight to the little town paper and waited for them to open for the day. While flinging the wad of newspaper on the editor’s desk, I tried my best to keep myself calm. "What the hell is this? Who would print this?"
"Sheriff, it wasn't me, but you have to understand that this is public information. The people of the town want to know you."
I leaned over the desk. “My life is none of their damn business!"
After arguing for another twenty minutes, I climbed in my truck and headed straight for the liquor store. Everyone now knew what I was running from. I couldn't hide from it any longer. I would be judged, consoled and harassed about my feelings. Never again could I just live out my days in peace. I wanted to just pack my shit up and leave, if I had to face one single person about my girls.
I wasn't ready to talk abo
ut them; to tell people how I'd taken their life.
Since the little town paper was usually a freebie to only the town people, I managed to grab as many copies off of lawns as I could. Then I went into the gas station and the grocery store and removed them as well. Sure, the news would travel, but it was still early and I was sure that I had removed at least half of what was out there.
To free some of the stress that was overwhelming me, I bought two bottles of Jack before heading back to the cabin. I needed to be alone. I wanted to disappear.
Chapter 8
Vessa
Did I feel bad for making Ramsey think I couldn’t play pool?
Not really!
He was hiding something, and even though it was none of my business, I was more intrigued than ever to find out what had made him the way he was.
We still hadn’t had a real conversation, but I felt like progress was being made. Maybe I was one of those people who thought they could fix people. Obviously, I wasn’t, since my own life had gone to shit. Ramsey was just one of those people that you were dying to know what broke them.
Since he had been in the night before, I never expected him to stumble into the bar the very next day. I’d only been there for about thirty minutes when I heard the door open and shut. During the day, it was pretty quiet without the jukebox running.
Right away, I could tell that he’d already been drinking. He barely made it to the edge of the bar before struggling to climb up on a stool. I dropped the rag that I had in my hand and approached him. “What brings you in here this time of day, Sheriff.” He was still in his uniform, which I might add, made him look even sexier than usual.
This is what drove me crazy the most. I never had met a man that I couldn’t stop looking at. Honestly, I’d never been interested in anyone except Gavin. Technically, I was still married by law, but in my heart I knew my marriage was over.
“Does it matter? Give me a drink and mind your business, for once!” As the slurred words came out of his mouth, I backed away from where he sat. I could smell the liquor and I knew when it was time for someone to be cut off. Based on the size of Ramsey and how much I had seen him drink before, I knew that this was far from what I had ever seen.
I poured him a glass of coke and pretended to put Jack in it. When I handed it to him, our hands touched and he kept his over mine for a second.
Was it a plea for help?
This man was so hard to read.
“I’ll just be over there if you need me.” I wasn’t about to argue with someone who was this drunk. Clearly, he shouldn’t be out driving, so the best way to keep him safe was to appease him and keep feeding him soda until he sobered up and realized what a fool he had been for driving in the first place.
Ramsey was quiet for about a half hour and then out of nowhere, he stood up and started yelling. “You wouldn’t understand! Nobody can! Do you hear me? Nobody could ever understand!” He was pointing at me, but backing up as he tried to stand still.
I’d seen many drunk people and even had to call the cops a few times when things got out of hand, but clearly Ramsey was battling demons and I wasn’t about to be the person who got him fired for drinking on the job. I held up my hands in the air. “You’re right! I don’t understand. Just sit back down and we don’t have to talk about it.”
He shook his head and mumbled something before approaching the stool to sit back down. Unfortunately, he missed it and tumbled to the ground. Instinct sent me running around to help him. He was way too heavy for me to lift, so I grabbed onto his arms and guided him stand back up. He took his hands and grabbed both of my arms. “Jules?”
“Who is…?” He didn’t give me time to ask.
“Baby, I am so sorry. It’s all my fault. I miss you so much, baby. I miss our family. I can’t do this anymore.”
I had no idea who Jules was, but he was obviously thinking she was me, because he pulled me into his arms and held me there as he continued to talk. I stilled my body and closed my eyes, not sure of what to do next. I wasn’t exactly scared of Ramsey, but since I knew nothing about him, I also knew that he could be a woman beater or maybe even worse. He didn’t just smell of booze. No, there was some kind of woodsy smelling cologne that I’d smelled before on him. He pulled my body even closer, shoving my face into his hard chest. “I just need another chance, Jules. I want it all back. Please, baby, don’t be dead. Say it was all a bad dream. Tell me it wasn’t real!”
His words cut through my heart. He’d lost someone, possibly more than one person to death. This poor man was more broken than I could have ever imagined. My hands wrapped around his waist before I even knew I was doing it. “It’s going to be okay. You aren’t alone.”
I could feel real tears hitting the top of my head as he kissed it. As absurd as the situation was to me, it was very real for him. I didn’t want to pretend to be someone that I wasn’t, but I certainly didn’t want to piss the big guy off. After a few minutes, I was able to pull away. I got him sitting on the floor and ran to call my aunt.
She told me to just lock up and drive Ramsey home. In the frantic situation I was in, I’d neglected to ask where the man lived. It was a feat getting him into his truck and finding his keys, which were actually left in the ignition, but driving around until he told me where to go was even worse.
Finally, as he leaned against the passenger window, he led me up a long dirt road. It was scary and seemed like I was driving to a place to be raped and killed where I’d never be discovered. I stuck to my gut feeling and continued on until I came to a cabin in a clearing.
Ramsey opened the passenger door and let me guide him into the house.
The place was a mess. Take-out food boxes were sitting all over the tables and the sink was filled with silverware and cups. Ramsey disappeared into a back room and I was hoping that he passed out, finally.
After I called my aunt and told her where to come, I hung up and looked around the cabin. The living and dining area had high ceilings that showed the original beams to the cabin, but a set of stairs with three doors above, told me there were other rooms.
I walked into the kitchen and looked around at the exposed wood logs on all of the outside walls to the house. It gave it a country charm that I fell in love with. It wasn’t hard to find where Ramsey kept the trash bags. I grabbed one from under the sink and tossed all of the trash that was laying around into it. Then I washed dishes in the sink. While wiping down all of the tables, I heard a loud bang from the direction that Ramsey had gone.
I found him on the floor with his shirt half on and stuck over his head. Quietly, I kneeled down beside him and helped with the shirt. Right away, my eyes had to do a double take. The man was sculpted, I’d already known that, but he had beautiful tattoos on each of his upper arms. He began mumbling something I couldn’t make out as I traced them with my fingers. The artwork was magnificent, but what really caught my eye was the name that was intricately place inside of the masterpiece.
Jules
I twisted my body to look at the matching tattoo on the other arm and noticed that there was only one difference in the mirror image. Another name was displayed.
Katie
My body began to tremble when I realized what I was looking at. The man had built two shrines for his loved ones. I didn’t know how they died, but they were gone and he was lost.
As I focused on his painful reality, he caught me off guard and pulled me into him. When his lips found mine, I kept still. The Jack was prominent on his breath, and maybe I should have stopped him, but as he continued to place tender kisses over my lips, I found myself responding to them.
These kisses were so desperate and necessary for him. If I’d lost the one I loved tragically and thought that for just one moment I could touch them again, I’d be doing the same thing.
It wasn’t just the way he was kissing me though. I felt something, even though this had nothing to do with me. His lips ignited a fire that I had never felt before. Maybe I was too cau
ght up in the moment to realize what was actually happening, but I grabbed the back of his neck and kissed him back more.
Finally, as we both paused to catch our breath, I felt his head touch down on one of my shoulders. “I love you, Jules,” he whispered.
It broke my heart again hearing him going through the motions of sharing a moment with his wife. This poor man had been holding all of his emotional despair inside. This wasn’t healthy. He needed help; possibly someone that could provide advice on how he could move on with his life in a way where he would allow himself to smile again.
Shortly after his comment to his wife, he climbed into his bed, sort of like a child would, and passed out. I noticed how the bed was made and in the living room was a pillow and blanket on the couch. He must not have liked sleeping in a bed without her.
As the pieces to the puzzle started to come together, I saw a different man before me. I didn’t go through his things any more than I already had. It wasn’t my place to know this story. It was going to be hard enough to face him when he woke up and realized what he’d done.
That kiss.
The kiss was a huge mistake on my part. He was never going to want to be friends with someone that had let that happen.
Still, I found it to be some kind of mission to help Ramsey as much as I could.
When I heard the horn outside, I stuck Ramsey’s keys by the front door and saw myself out. Maybe since I had straightened up the place, he wouldn’t be too hard on me. I doubted it though.
While reaching in the truck to grab my purse, I noticed a stack of newspaper in the backseat. It was the local tribune paper for the town that Ramsey was the sheriff of. The whole stack was the same issue and it was about Ramsey’s family that had died.
I understood immediately why he was in the shape that he was in. This article had caused Ramsey to lose control. He had drunk himself to forget. I grabbed one of the papers, but left the rest the way they were. Before I climbed in the car with my aunt and kids, I stuck the article in my purse. This was Ramsey’s story to share, not mine. It was apparent that he didn’t want people knowing his business. I wanted to march right into that newspaper office and give them a piece of my mind.
Hustle Him (Bank Shot Romance #2) Page 6
