by Brower, Dawn
The nurse nodded and left the room.
“What’s going on Matt?” She rubbed his hand with hers. She wanted to hug him tight against her and not let go. “What mess did you get yourself into?”
Matt had been her friend since the early days of college. They even went to the same law school together. After leaving her hometown of Hope Beach, and a foster family she’d been happy to forget, Matt had been a breath of life she’d not realized she needed. She’d been so lonely until she met him. He’d been her rock, the center she’d been craving to keep her balanced. Dani had grown up in a series of foster homes and never had a stable home life. Her last set of foster parents were not the loving sort, and she’d been ready to run as soon as she graduated. Only one person would have kept her in town, and he’d found someone else to build a family with.
It was her fault. She’d loved him and gave him her heart the moment she laid eyes on him. He was kind, generous, and oh so handsome. He was her first friend and the only man she would ever love. But he wasn’t hers. Not anymore, and never in the way she’d dreamed of. It was her fault. If she hadn’t been afraid to lose him… In the end she lost him anyway. She thought if she had him as a friend it would be enough.
Until he fell in love with someone else…
Dani hadn’t factored that part in. How could she remain friends with him and get in the way of his relationship. It was clear the other woman in his life didn’t like or trust her. A part of Dani didn’t blame her. It had to have been obvious how much she loved Ren. If their roles had been in reverse, she’d have acted the same way. So, for him, she left. She never looked back and wished him all the happiness in the world. He was nothing but a memory now, albeit a painful one.
Matt was her present. A friend she didn’t fear losing her heart to. It had been given away to someone she never planned on seeing again. Matt had a much more stable and special place in her life. “Please be all right,” she whispered. She loved Matt, but not as a woman loved a man. He was the one person she cared about, and she would move Heaven and Earth to make sure he would pull through the hell he now found himself in. Matt was all that mattered. Sometimes she wished she still had a heart to give him. Loving Matt could be so easy if she didn’t still love another man.
The man who would always be in her heart, the one she’d love until the day she died. Dani believed soul mate’s existed. There were different kinds for different reasons. She met the love of her life when she was a teenager. In a different time or place maybe they would have had a chance. Circumstances and her bad decisions separated them forever. She was lonely until she met Matt. He was another version of her soul mate. The true best friend she could lean on. She loved him in a different way, but never in the romantic sense.
“So the nurse tells me you’re Mr. Price’s emergency contact.”
A voice filled the room. It was as familiar as breathing. She would have known it anywhere. It haunted her dreams and sneaked into her thoughts when she least expected it. For a brief moment she thought she might be hearing things. Had she conjured up his voice because she’d been thinking of him earlier? No, that was silly. There was no way he could actually be behind her. Dani turned slowly and blinked several times. She could feel the color draining from her cheeks. This couldn’t be happening to her. “Ren?”
“Dr. Sousa, I forgot to give you Mr. Price’s chart.” A nurse with dark auburn hair and soft brown eyes bustled in and handed him a file.
Ren stared at Dani and didn’t say a word for several seconds. He studied her in awkward silence. He was almost exactly as she remembered him. His hair was a bit shorter, and his blue eyes stole her breath. It was Ren. Having him near always had that effect on her. He turned toward the nurse, took the file out of her hand, and dismissed her with a nod. “Thank you, Lana.”
Lana…that was the woman who’d called her office. Dani filed her name away for future reference. She was pretty, petite, and had a no-nonsense attitude. Something Dani appreciated. The nurse nodded and left the room. Leaving Ren alone with her. He set the file down and walked over to her side. The silence in the room was palpable. She had no idea what to say to him and still wasn’t completely convinced he was real. Hallucinations had never plagued her before, but there was always a first time for everything…
“Dani, I didn’t realize…I should have asked Lana for a name.”
Real. Definitely real. She gulped down a lump in her throat. Hell how was she supposed to deal with Ren, and Matt’s situation at the same time? This was an overwhelming emotional circumstance, and she wasn’t entirely sure she was up to dealing with it. She sent up a silent prayer for strength.
She shook her head. “There was no way for you to know.” This was all too much. Matt was hurt and Ren was his doctor. How could life have set her on this path? Her two best friends—one’s life depended on the other.
Was this the fate’s way of making her face her past?
She cleared her throat and turned away from him. It hurt to look at him. He looked as amazing as she remembered. A golden-brown haired god with ocean blue eyes, pain stabbed in tiny pinpricks against her already aching heart.
“What do you need from me?”
Ren didn’t answer her. Had he remained in the room with her? She didn’t want to turn around and look, but he was forcing her to face him. Why did she have to deal with this? Normally she could handle anything… This was too much in one breath of time for her. The tears she’d been holding back were about to come crashing forward.
Her breath hitched as she turned to look at him. All the love she had been carrying around for him—it was still there. He was a walking reminder of what she didn’t have. His gaze held such concern for her.
“Dani, perhaps we should go to my office to discuss this.”
Hearing her name spoken in his voice was almost her undoing. They’d stepped into an easy pattern of familiarity, but they knew next to nothing about each other anymore. They had a past. That was it.
“Does it matter where we talk about Matt?” She looked down at her friend. “The nurse said he was sedated. I doubt he will hear any of it.”
What she didn’t say was she needed the buffer. She didn’t know what she would say or do if she was completely alone with him. Sure Matt wasn’t about to jump into the conversation, but he was better than talking about the elephant in the room. Her feelings for Ren, his lack of them for her, and the fact she’d disappeared from his life so many years ago. She hadn’t even said goodbye. It would have been too difficult to face him and explain why she couldn’t be in his life anymore. Jessica needed him to devote all his attention to her. Dani would have been in the way. Leaving was the only decision she could have made.
“I think you will be more comfortable there discussing his condition,” he replied softly. “I have a lot to go over with you.”
Ren had always been kind. This wasn’t about her. Matt’s condition had to be more important. It was time for her to suck it up and deal with her emotional overload. Ren wasn’t going to bite her head off. It wasn’t who he was.
“Fine, lead the way, Dr. Sousa.”
Dani had to put up barriers and ignore her rampant emotions. He couldn’t be Ren anymore. He was Matt’s doctor and nothing more. Her feelings on the matter were irrelevant.
Chapter Two
Rendell Sousa fought the need to pull Daniella into his arms and breathe in her scent. It was hard for him to believe she was real, in front of him, and looking as beautiful as he remembered. He’d lost her once, and he wasn’t about to do it a second time. She didn’t know it yet, but he was a permanent fixture in her life.
He led her to his office and held the door open for her. What they had to discuss wasn’t meant for anyone’s ears. She came in for Matthew Price, but they had a lot of other unfinished business. Her disappearance had hit him hard. Not once had he thought she’d leave him and never speak to him again. If he had—he’d have done something, anything, to stop her.
“P
lease have a seat.” He gestured toward the chair in front of his desk. He set the file on Matthew Price down and sat. Ren rested his elbows on his desk and stared across at her. He would never get enough of the sight of her. Her beautiful midnight tresses were pulled up in a knot behind her head, and her soft green eyes were filled with worry and something he couldn’t identify. She didn’t seem to want to look him in the eyes. Are you feeling guilty for not saying goodbye? “I think we should get right to the heart of the matter.”
Tell me why you left me…
She nodded. “I agree. Explain Matt’s condition to me.”
“Who is he to you?” He shouldn’t ask. Never would he have asked another patient’s friend or family member to clarify their relationship. Dani was different. He had to know. Ren cleared his throat. “What is your connection to Mr. Price?”
She tilted her head and studied him, not saying a word. Lana had mentioned Matthew Price’s emergency contact was his partner in a law firm. He could see how she might make a witness uncomfortable with that stare. He had the bug-under-a-microscope feeling crawling all over him.
“Does it matter?”
“I’m trying to figure out the best way to approach this.” He leaned back in his chair and tapped his fingers together. “To tell you how to proceed once he’s released.”
She ignored his first question. “Start at the beginning.”
What beginning? Their past or Matt’s injuries? He wished for a brief moment he could forget the reason that brought her back into his life. Ren was horrifyingly thankful for it. He might never have found her again without her friend’s accident. He looked for her when she left, but she’d done a good job of covering her tracks. After a while he had to face the fact she didn’t want him in her life, and reluctantly let go, moved on with his life the best he could.
“Several hours ago, Mr. Price was brought into the emergency room after being involved in a multi-vehicle accident. His injuries were extensive and we were able to stabilize him.”
If he stuck to the facts he might make it through their meeting. Mr. Price had to come first. After that—he wouldn’t hold back. Ren needed Daniella in his life.
“I saw that.” She pursed her lips together as she stared at him. “What are you not telling me?”
“His brain is swelling, but we’ve already taken measures to reduce it.” He paused and thought about his next words. “It’s his eyes we’re concerned about. There is a surgery that can help him, but it’s risky. If he doesn’t have it, he will be blind for the rest of his life—even if he does, he might still be.”
Dani stayed quiet. She always remained silent after hearing something she didn’t like. She weighed the options and processed the information. It was one of her quirks and one he’d always appreciated. Dani was one of the most rational females he had ever known. It could be disconcerting. She was almost too practical. Deep down she was a well of barely contained emotions. What was on the surface scarcely touched the core of who she really was.
She tilted her head and studied him, her hands folded neatly in her lap. Dani showed almost no emotion as she spoke, “What are the risks, other than permanent blindness? It appears that’s on the table regardless of what we decide.”
Her mouth was in a firm tight line. Ren knew what she was doing. She was fighting tears. She cared about this man. He found it bothered him more than perhaps it should. Dani hadn’t been a part of his life for some time. She would have moved on and found someone else to love. Lord knew she never claimed to love him. It was why he started dating Jessica—what a colossal mistake that turned out to be.
“He could end up paralyzed, and death is always a risk in any surgery.”
How much did she care about him? Did Ren even have a chance? Was he an ass to even consider pursuing her when he knew how much she was about to deal with? He’d played the part of a good guy and where had it left him? With a harpy for a wife who hadn’t blinked an eye about cheating on him, and a former best friend who exited his life without so much as a by-your-leave. No, she hadn’t needed his permission to do anything, but she could have at least told him what she’d planned. He’d missed her so much. When she’d disappeared, she took his heart with her. He was an empty shell without her. She was his light and his strength, and he’d never loved anyone the way he did her.
All she’d wanted from him was friendship. He swore it would be enough, but it never was. He ached for her. How had she not see it written all over his face? So she would never know the depth of his love, he’d started seeing Jessica and devoted all his pent up feelings on her. He got to be pretty good at faking something with her. Maybe Jessica had known somehow and that’s why she sought out another man. Ren didn’t really know. When he walked in on her with a fellow colleague it had been a relief. He no longer had to pretend to love her. It was a blessing to file for divorce and move on with his life. There had only been one thing missing—Daniella.
Even if Dani had never loved him the way he loved her, he wasn’t going to let her disappear on him again. Ren wanted to be there for her in all the ways she might need him, and it would be enough. He didn’t need a repeat of his ex-wife. Dani may never love him the way he loved her. He hoped she would allow him to be a part of her life again.
“You recommend this surgery?” She stared into his eyes. They were so full of faith in him. He almost didn’t feel worthy.
“I do,” he said firmly. It was the best chance Matthew Price had.
“Will you be performing it?”
He shook his head. “No, but I will assist.” He swallowed down the bile threatening to come out of his mouth. As much as he hated Preston West, he was a damn good doctor. It was wives he couldn’t be trusted with. “There is another surgeon with more skill and experience in this type of case who’ll do the bulk of the surgery.”
She bit her lip and a tear finally escaped from the corner of one of her eyes. Dani buried her face in her hands and they flowed free. Ren never could stand to see her cry. She did it so little; she must be in enormous pain to give into them. Dani believed tears showed weakness, and she learned early on the fragile people of the world got stomped on. The pain she suffered as a child had made her who she was. She’d been in several bad foster homes until she ended up in a fairly descent one. She’d explained once that one of her foster mothers would punish her if she showed any sign of tears. He’d seen Dani struggle not to cry more than he liked. It broke his heart she’d had to fight so much to survive. He wanted to protect her from all of the world’s hurts.
He stood up and pulled her into his arms. Dani leaned into him and let him comfort her. To have her in his arms again, he had no words to describe how good it felt. If he could, he’d have stood there forever basking in her warmth. He was more than aware they couldn’t. Reality had a bad way of shaking apart the good things in life.
Some strands of her hair had fallen loose and wrapped around her face. Ren lifted his hand and caressed her soft curls and whispered soothing words. Whatever would help her and calm her down. “I promise I will do everything in my power to help him. I can see how much he means to you.”
She took a step back out of his arms. He wanted to howl in protest. Ren barely held in the frenzy rushing through him. He kept his hands at his sides to prevent himself from pulling her back into his arms. If he didn’t take things slowly, she would bolt right back out of his life. Patience was the only way to make sure she didn’t act on her impulse.
“Matt does mean a lot to me. He helped me a lot, and if not for him I might not have made it through law school. He’s the best friend I have.”
He tried not to wince at her words. They were as painful as a knife in the chest. Did that mean he wasn’t a good friend to her? Is that why she left and didn’t look back?
“You’re a good friend too, Ren.” Her gaze locked with his. “Matt is my present, but you’re my past.”
“I don’t want to be your past,” he replied harshly. “If you hadn’t disappeared y
ou would know that.”
Her head whipped back as if he’d slapped her. “Maybe this isn’t the best time to discuss this. I can come back later.”
Dani turned to leave his office. Before she could open the door he reached above her and held the door closed. “Your friend doesn’t have time for you to have a hissy fit.” His words came out sharper than he meant them to, but he couldn’t let her run away from the problem. He was being an ass, but couldn’t seem to stop the words from spilling out of his mouth. He was one big mess of bitterness. Most of it surrounded her and what could have been—if he hadn’t been too afraid to speak up and tell her how much he loved and needed her. Now it was too late, and he would have to live with those choices.
She spun around and looked up at him. “What do you want from me?”
He wanted her to tell him she loved him. It was all he’d ever wanted from her. No that wasn’t true… It was the first item he wanted in a long list of things he’d hoped they could have. A life together, a family, and so much love it would sustain them through whatever life threw at them.
He stared down at her and thought about saying the words aloud. Finally telling her she owned his heart. Instead, he decided to take the coward’s way, again. “You need to sign some forms consenting to the surgery.”
“I can do that? I’m his emergency contact. I thought a family member had to make those decisions.”
Ren shook his head. “He left you in control of his medical power of attorney, including what was to be done if he was ever on life support. He filed them with the hospital. It was how they knew to contact you.”
She let out a harsh breath. “He never told me…”
Ren turned his gaze away from hers. He didn’t want to have any insight into her relationship with Matthew Price. A part of him hated the man for taking his place in Dani’s life. He should have been by her side through every single one of her achievements. He hadn’t spoken to her or even seen her in ten years. She was supposed to be his, but he messed up. It was his mistake and his to rectify. If Matthew was her friend, it meant she had a place for him in her life. Ren could be her lover and the only man in her heart. The one she loved and came home to every night. It wasn’t too late for them. They could have it all. He had to be honest with her for once.
