by Brower, Dawn
Ren stared at her and braced himself for whatever she wanted to unburden on him. She was right; it wasn’t the time or place to talk about things that couldn’t be changed. It might give him something else to focus his energy on. At least she wasn’t being the harpy she was known for. Maybe this was what he needed. It was closure for them. They had a lot of years together and they’d been through a lot. Jessica had been a part of his life for a long time. It might not have ended great between them, but it hadn’t all been bad.
“Whatever it is, it doesn’t matter.” He ran his hand through his hair and stared past her at the wall. His medical degree stood out against the stark whiteness. He’d worked so hard to get it. Now it didn’t seem to matter when he couldn’t use it to save the one person he wanted to. He turned to Jessica and asked, “How did you hear about Dani?”
“Let me tell you what I have on my mind. If you want me to leave after that I will.” She glanced away. “I was with Preston when he got the call to come in. We were in his office talking. He was one stop on my path toward forgiveness. I didn’t do right by him either.”
The old irritation he’d felt when he heard about her and Preston didn’t hit him. It was progress. It appeared as if Jessica was doing her best to change. He wished her well with her endeavor. “Is he with Dani now?”
“He headed to see her immediately.” She nodded. “You can trust him to take care of her.”
Of course he could. Preston may have betrayed their friendship, but that didn’t reflect on his ability as a doctor. It’s why he demanded he do her surgery. If anyone could save her, it was Preston West. “I’m counting on it.”
“What I have to tell you…” Jessica blew out a breath. “It has to do with Dani.”
Ren perked up at her words and his gaze flew to hers. “What about her?” Had she done something, or did she know more than she was letting on? “What did you do?”
She waved her hands. “Relax. It has nothing to do with what she’s going through now. It’s more part of why she disappeared.”
He relaxed back in his chair and as relief overflowed through him. “The past doesn’t matter right now. I’m more concerned about our future.”
“Nevertheless, I have to say my piece. Will you let me get it all out before you lose it?”
“I can’t make any promises, but I’ll try.” He leaned forward. “Go ahead and tell me what you had to do with Dani leaving.”
She bit her lip and twisted her fingers together. “I lied to her.”
He closed his eyes and shook his head. “Don’t stall any more. What did you say to her?” It had to be something big to get Dani to run away from him. They’d been too close for her to do it for no reason. She hadn’t told him why she left. He figured she would tell him when she came to terms with it. Ren could be patient when the ends justified the means. Dani was his everything and worth the wait.
“I told her I was pregnant.” A tear fell down her cheek as she spoke the words. “I was desperate, and the words were out of my mouth before I realized what I was saying. She was as shocked by them as I was.”
“She believed you?” His mouth fell open. Ren couldn’t have been more baffled by Jessica’s confession. They’d never been intimate in high school. He’d been too wrapped up in his feelings for Dani to even consider it. “It wasn’t possible for you to be pregnant, but of course Dani wouldn’t have known that.”
“No, she did what I knew she would.” She wiped the tears from her cheek. “She loved you too much to stand in the way of your happiness. So she agreed to leave and not speak to you again. I could see it on her face—how much it hurt her to put that distance between you, but I couldn’t back down. I loved you too much to let her have you. I was so young and stupid.”
Ren scrunched up his eyebrows puzzled by her words. “Dani has always cared about me. We were best friends. She would want what was best for me. But I don’t understand why she thought she had to leave.”
None of it made sense. It was even more confusing knowing what happened. Dani left because she’d believed Jessica was pregnant with his child. It was so far from the truth it was ridiculous. If she’d only said something to him he could have prevented it all. Why couldn’t she have come to him? They could have been in each other’s lives this entire time.
“I told you. She loved you. Do you think she could watch you with someone else knowing she could never have that family with you? Better yet, do you think you could have stayed away from her even if you had a family with someone else?” She shook her head. “You two were so stupid over each other. Anyone who looked at you would have known how you felt about each other.”
“You’re wrong.” She couldn’t be right. It was such a waste if it was. “Dani loved me as a friend, nothing more.”
“No, Ren,” Jessica said sadly. “She loved you for more reasons than that. It may have started as friendship, but it grew to be much more. I think she was on the brink of telling you. It’s why I did what I did. I know it was wrong, but I can’t change it now.”
If what she said was true… He couldn’t wait to have a conversation with Dani. They had a lot to discus. Jessica was right. Dani would have done everything she could to ensure Ren’s happiness, even at the expense of her own.
“Thank you for telling me. It gives me a lot to think about.”
“I hope it helps you. I never meant to hurt either one of you. It was selfish of me, but I as a teenager who didn’t think beyond that day.” She reached to him and placed her hand on his. “Please forgive me.”
“I think it’s time we moved on with our lives. There is much we have to live for.” He stared into her eyes. “You don’t need my forgiveness, but if you want it you have it.”
“Thank you. I appreciate it.”
“Good.” He nodded. “Now all we can do is wait.”
“If you’re not averse to me waiting with you, I can stay and keep you company.”
A part of Ren wanted to say no. He’d longed for solitude to think about all she’d had to confess. But the other part of him didn’t want to be alone. Who would he lean on if he didn’t take her up on her offer? He’d be alone in his office with only his thoughts to see him through the long hours of surgery.
“If you can suffer through my company. I can suffer through yours.” He nodded. “Stay if you want.”
She sat in front of his desk. He leaned his head into the palm of his hands. They sat in silence. Neither having much to say, and so they waited letting the quiet wrap around them. Ren waited for the news that the woman he loved would live, and she waited to be there for him if she didn’t. It wasn’t something talking about would help.
***
Ren’s head lay on his folded arms on top of his desk. Somehow he’d managed to fall asleep. Exhaustion had taken over. He’d needed the rest, but it bothered him that he’d managed to sleep when Dani was in a life or death surgery. He bolted up and found Jessica also asleep in an awkward position. Apparently they’d both needed rest.
He was about to wake her when Preston walked into his office. Ren stared at him, waiting for him to tell him what he wanted to hear. The other man remained silent. A wrenching pain filled his stomach and tightened into a tight knot.
“She isn’t…”
He shook his head. “She’s fine.”
A whoosh of relief flooded him as the tense ball of worry inside of him eased. Then he realized there was something Preston wasn’t saying. He seemed so foreboding when he walked in. “What is it?”
Preston frowned. “She made it through the surgery. I’m worried about what happens when she wakes up.”
His heart fluttered, missing a beat at his words. “What happened?”
Preston pushed into the room and yanked his surgical cap of his head. He crunched it between his fingers. “You were right in your assessment. The bullet did lodge near her spine. I removed it and repaired the damage as best I could. We won’t know how extensive it was until she wakes up and we can test her re
flexes.”
Ren frowned. It wasn’t anything he hadn’t heard before. This was the normal outcome from a risky surgery. Why was Preston so worried? “I don’t understand. What’s bothering you?”
“You love her.”
“I do.” Ren nodded. “That doesn’t have anything to do with your skills as a surgeon.”
Preston remained quiet. His gaze falling on Jessica’s sleeping form. “I wanted to do more. To show you,” he paused. “I know I damaged our friendship. This is purely selfish of me, but I wanted to prove to you that you could depend on me.”
Ren understood. It all finally made sense to him. Dani was the love of his life. He’d done Jessica a disservice by ignoring that. He’d thought he could make his ex-wife happy, and maybe for a while he had. But it wasn’t enough. Preston really did love her. He couldn’t fault his friend for doing something he failed to do. Could they have handled it better? Yes, but it didn’t negate his part in their downfall. Ren was as responsible as both Jessica and Preston. “You did your job. You saved her. The rest is up to Dani. You don’t owe me anything,” he paused and stared his friend in the eyes. “I do know I can depend on you. You’re the first person I asked for when I knew it couldn’t be me to save her. No one else could have done it. Only you.”
Preston nodded. “She’s in recovery. I know you’re itching to go check on her. Go to your woman, and I’ll see to mine. Even if she doesn’t want me to.”
Ren nodded. Preston was in for a battle to win Jessica. She didn’t seem to want anyone anymore. The little he understood from their conversation told him that. Jessica was ready to move on with her life. If that was with Preston, time would tell.
“We will talk later,” he said and then rushed out of the room.
He had to see for himself if Dani was all right. Preston and Jessica could deal with their problems without his supervision. He had more important things on his mind.
Chapter Seventeen
Dani’s eyes fluttered open. At first, a blurry mess of colors assaulted her vision. She blinked several times to gain her focus. Where am I? She scanned her surroundings. The first thing she came across was Ren’s face, his eyes closed. She lifted her hand and ran her fingers through his golden brown hair. His eyes flew open and met her gaze.
“Hello, sleepy head.” Her throat was raw and she couldn’t manage more than a whisper. “What happened?”
He leaned down and kissed her forehead. “Do you remember your meeting with Anderson Nettles?”
A flash filled her mind. The stupid old man shot her. She scooted her hand across her stomach and over the bandages underneath her hospital gown. “Well, it appears like he didn’t manage to kill me as he planned.” Dani laughed lightly. “Rat bastard. I hope he rots in prison.”
“Don’t even joke about that. I don’t think I could handle losing you.” He frowned. “I’ve never been so scared in my life.”
Dani didn’t want to think about her possible death. She was alive. The rest was all minor details. There was one thing she wanted to say. She’d feared she wouldn’t ever get the chance. She’d not pass up the opportunity now that she had it. “I love you.”
His gaze softened. “I love you too.”
“I know. I think I always did. I’m my own worst enemy.” She let her gaze fall. This was the hard part. “I know there are no guarantees in life. I was doing my best to ensure nothing would ever hurt me. By putting walls between us I was trying to avoid pain, and in the end I caused us a million times more. If not for my own hang-ups, things might have gone differently. Can you ever forgive me for my stupidity?”
“Don’t you know by now I’d forgive you anything? You’re my world.” Ren reached up and ran his hand over her hair. “Besides, there’s nothing to forgive. I’m as much at fault as you are. I knew what you were doing and allowed it. I had an interesting conversation with Jessica earlier, and it put it all into perspective for me.”
“Yeah?” Dani raised an eyebrow. Her voice clearing up the more she talked. It was a little rusty, but she managed to force the words out. “What did you talk about?”
“It’s a long story. But the short end of it is we all make mistakes.” He lifted her hand and kissed her palm. “Turns out Jessica had a lot to say about what happened ten years ago. She admitted she lied to you about being pregnant.”
“Wait, what? She actually admitted it? I suspected, but…” Dani remembered when Jessica dropped that bomb on her at prom. “Why would she lie?”
“Because she saw what we didn’t.”
“What was that?” Dani frowned. Jessica had seemed unreasonably jealous all those years ago. Was that what had made her lie? “It had to be major for her to fake a pregnancy.”
“I have loved you since I met you. I may not have realized what it was at first, but it became clear to me not long after. But you insisted I was your best friend, and you didn’t ever want to do anything to ruin that. So I humored you.” Ren stared into her eyes. “I stayed your friend and dated Jessica. It was a stupid mistake I wish, sometimes, I could undo. Jessica claims you loved me as much as I loved you, but we were too blind to see it.”
She’d not have thought Jessica was an insightful individual, and she was partly right. Dani had loved Ren, and always would, but she was well aware of it the entire time. It was her fear that kept her from admitting it. If she’d let it all go they may have been able to skip the hardships they’d endured since. It was beyond time to set it all aside and tell Ren the truth.
“She’s right. I loved you more than I have ever loved anyone. I still do.” She sighed. “It’s why I left when she told me she was expecting your child. I believed it was the best choice I could make for you. Your happiness was all I ever wanted.”
“I’m glad she told me the truth. We should have talked about all of this years ago.”
She nodded. “We can’t go back and change anything. It is what it is. All we can do now is figure out where we go from here.”
“I agree,” he said. “Sometimes we have to burn all our bridges before we see what they are. It’s part of life. It’s who we are. Whether we learn from them and make changes is up to us.”
He made sense. It was similar to the conclusions she’d come to herself. Jessica wasn’t to blame for the choices Dani made and vice versa. She couldn’t hold it against the other woman for trying to hold on to Ren. She might have done the same in her position. It was time to let go of all her preconceived notions and open her eyes to the truth. She’d made mistakes, and no one was to blame for them. Yes, Jessica’s lies drove her away, but the other woman hadn’t made her leave. She could have talked to Ren and figured things out for herself.
“I agree.” She nodded. “While I was lying on my office floor it made me take a hard look at my life.” She stared at Ren resolved with how things needed to be. He was her future and she wouldn’t throw away the love of her life ever again. “I’ve made up my mind. I’m not looking back. From this point on we’re moving forward and making decisions together. No more pushing and running from our fears, or rather I’m not going to. You’ve always run toward me. You had more faith in us than I did.”
“So we’re in agreement. You’re going to stay with me.” He raised an eyebrow. “You know what that means, don’t you?”
“What?” she asked, confused. Had she missed something? Maybe the drugs were still making things a little fuzzy. “I’m not following you.”
“You pretty much agreed to marry me without me asking.”
“That’s not how I heard it. Let her recover before you start forcing wedding plans down my sister’s throat.”
Dani turned her head and met Sullivan’s gaze. “Stay out of it. This doesn’t concern you.”
“I beg to differ.” He shook his head. “You’re a very wealthy woman. You have a family now. No need to rush into the first bloke’s arms you meet.”
“Go away, Sullivan.” She glared. “I don’t need your assistance. I am capable of making up my own mind
.”
She focused on Ren. “I would like nothing more than to be your wife. As soon as I’m able to, we can see about a wedding.”
“I hope we’re invited.” A booming male voice filled the room. “I’d like to give my daughter away.
Dani closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She didn’t want to face them now. Why hadn’t someone warned her they were coming? She turned her gaze to Sullivan and glared at him. If she could have felled him with a look she would have. No doubt he knew they were coming in behind him and failed to mention it.
“You’re getting married,” a female said. “We only found out you were alive a few hours ago, and now you’re leaving us already.”
“Get out,” Dani demanded. “I am not asking anyone’s permission for anything. I don’t know you.”
She turned away from them and focused on Ren. Why were they intruding on her when she had no means of escape? Her breathing became ragged. Tears fell down her cheek.
“Sweetheart,” Ren said. He lifted his hand and wiped the tears away. “Don’t push them away. They are your family. Remember what we just discussed? No more running.”
She closed her eyes and prayed for strength. He was right. Damn it, why did he always have to be? She rolled her head to stare at them. It didn’t surprise her they hadn’t done as she asked. All three of them flanked the other side of her bed. Hell. Why had she wanted a family again? So far, hers had become nothing but a nuisance.
“You’re not getting rid of us that easily.” Her father pronounced. Hell, yeah, he was her father. She couldn’t wrap her head around that fact still. The woman next to him had to be her mother. “You’re our daughter. We don’t abandon family.”
