“I’m NOT that type of person!” I muttered. “It was all an accident, people! An ACCIDENT!!”
“No talking, pip-squeaks! The Hawk better not hear a pin drop!” Sensei said. “Now get to work so I can EAT this ice-cream cone before it melts! Er, I mean, um . . . MEDITATE . . . to become more awesomely powerful!”
When did a martial arts pop quiz become more difficult than a math one?! When I read over my quiz, I suddenly realized that everything I knew about karate I’d learned from the Disney and Nickelodeon channels and Saturday morning cartoons.
And unfortunately for me, it was all WRONG!! . . .
THE HAWK’S POP QUIZ NAME: Nikki Maxwell
There are many different styles of martial arts. Name at least 8:
What belt is the lowest rank, and what does it represent?
Seat belt - lowers the chance of injury in a car accident
Leather belt - can be worn low on your waist
Snowbelt - snow has a low temperature
Sunbelt - hot with a low chance of rain
Match the following words with their definitions:
I guess I thought the questions were going to be SUPEReasy, like, “Who’s your favorite Ninja Turtle?”
Wow! That quiz was really HARD!
If I want to pass this class and earn a belt, I’d better start studying for the final written test. It’s on Friday, which means I only have five four days left to prepare for it!
I guess I’ll be adding THIS to the long list of Stuff That I’m Way Too Busy to Get Done So Why Even Bother to Try!!
!!
TUESDAY, MARCH 25
AAAAAAAHHH!
(That was me SCREAMING !!)
OMG! Am I becoming a TOXIC friend?!! Like in those over-the-top teen TV dramas with the sappy emo music? You know, where the dimwitted teen drama queen accidentally-on-purpose ruins her chances with the guy of her dreams.
Only to HATE herself for it later!!!
Then she whines obnoxiously all day long about the relationship that SHE torpedoed. And feels so pathetically sorry for herself that you just want to PUKE!
Or change the channel. Or BOTH!!
I’m really worried about my friendship with Brandon.
I need to talk to him and apologize again for being too busy to help him with his scholarship project.
Oh! And for standing him up last week.
And for um . . . falling asleep in the library. While he waited for me, like, FOREVER!!
ARGH !!! I’m such a HORRIBLE friend. And Brandon deserves better.
Lately, I’ve just been reliably UNRELIABLE. And the guilt is totally eating me up inside .
I really think I should talk to my BFFs, Chloe and Zoey. I’m sure they can help me with my Brandon problem. They always do!
Anyway, I was waiting for my BFFs when suddenly MacKenzie walked up to me and got all up in my face.
Then she actually started screaming at me. . . .
I was already in a pretty cruddy mood. So I looked right into MacKenzie’s beady eyes and told her off really good!
“Okay, MacKenzie! Here’s my excuse. . . . My CRAZY choreographer had plenty of time to tell me about a MORNING practice when she forced me to rehearse until ten o’clock last NIGHT! But instead, she decided to call me at six o’clock this morning, while I was in the shower, and leave a message that I just got ten minutes ago! Which was fifteen minutes AFTER the practice was OVER!”
“Well, you’d better make up that practice or I’ll call Trevor Chase!” MacKenzie threatened.
“Actually, MacKenzie, go right ahead! You can call the TOOTH FAIRY for all I care! I barely have time to breathe. So I can’t just drop everything anytime YOU get the whim to torture me with an unscheduled dance practice. Sorry, but I’m NOT giving YOU the pleasure of giving ME a nervous breakdown! I know you’re trying to make me quit so you can take over my band AND my TV show!”
“So, are you done with your delusional little rant?! It’s not totally MY fault that your life’s a wreck!” MacKenzie sneered and narrowed her icy-cold blue eyes at me. Then she just stared at me for what seemed like FOREVER! I could tell the gears were turning in that tiny brain of hers. She was up to something!
“Actually, Nikki, you’re right! You DO need a break. I’ve been pushing you too hard. So dance practice is canceled for the rest of the week!”
“WH-WHAT?!” I sputtered. My mouth dangled open in complete shock.
“I said, I’m giving you the week off! You know the choreography so well you could do it in your sleep. And believe me, I’ve actually seen you do it in your sleep! Use the time off to get some rest!”
Before I could say a word, MacKenzie turned and sashayed down the hall. I just hate it when that girl sashays! No dance practice?! That was too good to be true! I could apologize to Brandon at lunch today and offer to help him with his project. I was starting to think maybe MacKenzie wasn’t such a WITCH after all. That is, UNTIL she HIJACKED my TV crew!!
A large crowd of kids gathered to watch as she continued. “I can’t say much because this is a personal matter. But I feel SO sorry for her. Especially since she’s in this messy LOVE triangle with a member of her band. He’s secretly crushing on another girl who’s WAY out of Nikki’s league. And Nikki’s insanely jealous. Sorry, that’s all I can reveal at this time.”
The director’s eyes lit up. “Now, THIS is the stuff we’ve been waiting for. Conflict between band members! Turmoil! Heartbreak! Intrigue! Get a close-up of her, Steve! And and keep the camera rolling.”
The camera guy quickly zoomed in on MacKenzie’s face for dramatic effect. She batted her eyes all innocentlike and then took out her Raging Revenge Red lip gloss and applied, like, seven layers.
“Go ahead and vent, sweetie! You’ll feel so much better! You obviously really care about your friend Nikki,” the director said, egging her on. “Now, what can you tell us about this other band member?”
MacKenzie sighed deeply and then dabbed at phony tears to heighten the drama.
“Well, I’m not one to spread gossip, but he and Nikki are in this on-again, off-again relationship. OMG, it’s SO dysfunctional! All they do is argue, and Nikki is fed up. I have a really bad feeling she’s going to dump him tomorrow. Or he’ll dump HER as soon as he sees all of this dirt aired on TV! It’s going to be AWFUL! Awfully JUICY!”
I could NOT believe that girl was LYING on camera like that! Has she no SHAME?!! OMG!! I had to restrain myself from walking over and wiping that little smirk off of her!
MacKenzie stared into the camera, pretending to be distraught. “I’m warning you! Soon you’re going to be up to your eyeballs in drama. I’m concerned it could damage Nikki’s music career and be extremely mortifying for BRANDON.”
Then she placed her hand over her mouth in mock dismay. “OOPS! Did I just reveal his NAME?! I’ve already said way too much! And as a friend, I feel it’s important to respect their privacy. Sorry!”
“Actually, your observations have been very insightful!” the director gushed. “The ratings for this episode are going to be through the roof! It just might win me an Emmy Award!”
MacKenzie smiled, batted her eyelashes, and twirled her hair around and around and around. She was obviously trying to hypnotize the director into doing her evil bidding. I KNEW what she wanted.
“Well, I think you deserve an award! So how about a TV show about ME and my VERY fabulous life? I’m a SUPERtalented dancer and fashion designer, and my aunt Clarissa owns the—”
But the director totally ignored her blabbery. “Okay, guys, listen up! Tomorrow we keep a camera on Nikki every minute of the day. Don’t let her out of your sight, understand? And we’ll need a second camera to follow that Brandon kid around. Somebody get me a copy of his class schedule!”
Suddenly I felt SICK to my stomach.
Right now I’m hiding out in the library, writing all of this in my diary. Thank goodness I’ll be leaving school for a dentist appointment in fifteen minutes. I’m stil
l in shock that MacKenzie would actually do something so VILE!
I have no choice but to try to warn Brandon! Before it’s too late!! !!
WEDNESDAY, MARCH 26
I don’t know if I’ll EVER recover from MacKenzie’s outrageous little stunt. For her to portray Brandon as some heartless dude in a crazy, drama-filled love-triangle with me and MacKenzie was just AWFUL!
My plan was to avoid the TV crew the entire day, then ditch them and secretly meet up with Brandon after school. However, I STILL needed to WARN him! Although, with all of the gossip going around, there was a good chance he’d already heard that the TV crew was planning to hunt him down like an animal. Poor guy !
Before going to class, I decided to stop by my locker and grab ALL my books. I knew the FIRST place they were going to look for me was at my locker, so it was the LAST place I wanted to be.
I hid out in the janitor’s closet until the halls were completely empty. Then I practically tiptoed to my locker. My plan was going really well until . . .
Oh, CRUD!! Suddenly I was surrounded! I’d been CAPTURED! Like a frightened little MOUSE in the deadly grip of a steel TRAP! However, unlike the mouse, I unfortunately didn’t have the option of chewing off my own leg to escape ! Sorry, but I was desperate.
“Hi, Nikki! You’re on camera!” my director said. “Today we’re using cue cards to help you tell your story. Just read them and make us feel your pain. Okay?”
“We’re using cue cards?” I glanced at the one an assistant was holding up and read it out loud. “It’s finally over between Brandon and me . . . ?! What?!”
Okay, this was getting out of control. “Actually, that’s not true. Um, can we turn off the camera for a minute? There’s no way I can say that!”
“Well, you just did! And with a little editing, it’ll be perfect. Keep up the good work!” my director said happily.
OMG! I was SO ticked off! It was quite obvious that calm reasoning was not going to get me very far with these people. I decided it would be smarter to just pretend to cooperate. It had worked like a charm on Saturday. My biggest regret was that I HADN’T brought my red paint to school with me today. Then I could have TERRORIZED the TV crew with the Chicken Pox Apocalypse, Part 2 !
“So, when are you going to dump that guy Brandon?” the director asked. “I was thinking we could do a wide-angle shot and add some emo music to help set the mood. This breakup is going to be AMAZING! No offense. . . .”
“Um, actually, I have class right now! But we can meet right here at my locker afterward,” I lied.
“Sounds good! We’ll be waiting,” the director said, and gave me a thumbs-up.
My mind was racing as I trudged off to class. It was almost impossible to concentrate on the lesson, and each minute seemed like an hour. But as soon as the bell rang, I rushed into the hall in search of Brandon. I had to warn him. I just hoped it wasn’t too late.
I collapsed against a wall, out of breath, and checked for signs of the TV crew. They were probably STILL waiting for me at my locker.
I peeked around the corner and spotted Brandon just as he was leaving his locker. I couldn’t help but notice that he looked kind of down. . . .
I felt another pang of guilt for being such a cruddy, inconsiderate friend.
“Brandon!” I yelled, and waved to get his attention. “Do you have a minute?”
He turned around, gave me a half smile, and shrugged. “Hi, Nikki. I have a math test next period. But I can spare a minute. What’s up?”
“Actually, I owe you an apology for . . . um, everything! I know your project is SUPERimportant, and I want to help you try to win that scholarship money.”
“Nikki, your schedule is wicked crazy. So I understand if you don’t have the time to—”
“No, Brandon, there’s no excuse for what I did. I’m truly sorry! And I really mean it. My dance practices have been canceled this week, so I have some extra time. I thought we could meet in the library to work on your project after school today and then hang out at Fuzzy Friends!”
He gave me a big smile and brushed his shaggy bangs out of his eyes. “That’s cool! I really appreciate you wanting to help out with my project. I’m lucky to have a friend like you.”
Try UNLUCKY! I looked over his shoulder and saw the camera crew marching down the hall. I didn’t want them to see Brandon. And I definitely didn’t want Brandon to see those crazy cue cards! I had to finish talking and get out of there. FAST!
“Thanks, Brandon, but please try to avoid the camera crew, because MacKenzie told them a bunch of lies and now they’re looking for you good luck on your math test I’ll talk to you later bye!”
Brandon looked totally confused. “What’d you just say? Wait! What about my project? And are we still meeting at Fuzzy Friends after—”
I left Brandon standing there. I blew past the camera crew, and they followed me just as I had planned. I cut through the cafeteria and ducked into the girls’ bathroom near the gym. I dived into a stall and locked the door as my heart raced! But there was no getting away from that darn camera and the wacky cue cards. . . .
Everywhere I hid, the camera eventually found me. Including the janitor’s closet. . . .
Finally I gave up and just let the camera follow me around school. Which also meant I NOW had to stay clear of Brandon.
My situation was kind of depressing because, thanks to MacKenzie, I finally had some extra free time in my schedule.
But thanks to her little on-camera confessional, I couldn’t EAT LUNCH with Brandon, TALK to Brandon between classes, WORK on Brandon’s project in the library, or even HANG OUT with Brandon after school.
MacKenzie had managed to manipulate me AGAIN! And drive a wedge between Brandon and me.
Of course, I didn’t help our situation any when I just disappeared into thin air and left him standing there in the hallway, flustered and confused.
After that little stunt, Brandon had every reason to avoid me like the plague. Hey! I was SO disgusted, I wanted to avoid ME too!
OMG! I was so upset, I wanted to cry. But I couldn’t do THAT, either, with that stupid camera all up in my face!
I could hardly wait for the school day to FINALLY be over!
As soon as I got home, I ran up to my room, threw myself across my bed, and had a good cry. Then I just stared at the wall and sulked. Which for some reason always makes me feel a lot better.
Soon I fell asleep and had the most HORRIBLE nightmare! The scariest thing about it was that it felt SO real!
When I finally woke up, it was almost midnight. And since I was feeling better, I started writing in my diary. But then I had the weirdest feeling that something else was in the room with me.
Something VERY evil! And when I looked up, I actually saw it! OMG! I was so TERRIFIED that I wanted to scream, but I COULDN’T. . . .
ME, HAVING A HORRIBLE NIGHTMARE ABOUT THE TV CREW AND CUE CARDS!
Finally, I woke up for real and realized it was still all just a very bad dream. Thank goodness!
I was a little paranoid, though, so I checked under my bed and inside my closet for hidden cameras, crazy TV crews, and nasty cue cards. I’m thinking I’ll probably just sleep with the lights on tonight. . . .
!!
NIKKI MAXWELL: THE MAKING OF A POP PRINCESS! EPISODE #7
THURSDAY, MARCH 27
After I had that valentine confiscated in bio last month, you’d think I would have learned my lesson!
RIGHT? WRONG!!! I can’t believe I came SO close to getting my CELL PHONE confiscated!
I was in math class, DYING to update Chloe and Zoey on the situation between Brandon and me.
And when my teacher instructed the class to take out our textbooks and our calculators, I knew it was the perfect opportunity to grab my cell phone and send them a text.
Hey, it DOES have a calculator! So why NOT? I figured as long as I raised my hand and gave her a few correct answers, my little secret would go unnoticed.
I was a
lso being as careful as possible to follow the SGTCWGC, also known as the STANDARD GUIDELINES FOR TEXTING IN CLASS WITHOUT GETTING CAUGHT!
SGTCWGC GUIDELINES
HOW TO GET CAUGTH
1. Text and read texts openly in class.
2. Look at your phone and laugh.
3. Wear clothing without pockets.
4. Forget to silence your phone.
HOW NOT TO GET CAUGTH
1. Text without looking at your phone.
2. Sneak a peek at your phone and respond later.
3. Wear a sweatshirt with a front pocket or carry a purse to conceal your phone.
4. Know where your teacher is at all times.
It is VITAL that every kid who owns a cell phone AND texts during class knows these rules. Otherwise, you’ll be at serious risk for a CPCBT, also known as CELL PHONE CONFISCATION BY TEACHER! Anyway, I decided to text Zoey and update her on Brandon and me. It went something like this:
* * * * *
Nikki: Hey! I need advice on what to do about Brandon.
Zoey: Spill!
Nikki: I think he’s avoiding me! Probably because of the TV camera fiasco.
Zoey: R u kidding me?! But that was all MacKenzie’s fault.
Nikki: Yeah, I know. I think I need to talk to him again.
Zoey: I agree! But what are you going to say?
Nikki: If x = -4, then 24 + 3 - 2x = ?
Zoey: ?????
Nikki: Sorry! I’m in math class and using my phone as a calculator :-p!
* * * * *
“MISS MAXWELL! WHAT are you doing?!!”
My teacher was staring at me.
As I scanned the room I also noticed that the entire class was gawking at me too. It was HORRIBLE!
I knew I had to say something quick, so I just said the first thing that came to my mind.
“Um . . . using my calculator?”
Dork Diaries 7: Tales from a Not-So-Glam TV Star Page 7
