by Dana James
During his lessons on seamanship, Nathan had warned her about the dangers of leaving cuts untreated. Constant exposure to seawater, far from having a healing effect, actually caused boils and other skin infections.
How much she had learned from him. In just a few days he had pushed back the horizons of her world far out of sight. It had been a baptism by fire, but she had come through. No longer a girl with a headful of hazy dreams, she was a woman now. Maybe grief was the price of wisdom and maturity.
Gathering up the debris, she stuffed it into her pocket to dispose of in the galley bin below. As she returned the first-aid box to the locker, she heard a movement behind her and glanced round.
Nathan was frowning as he gingerly touched the plaster.
Polly knelt beside him, her grin uncertain. ‘Welcome back.’ Now the crisis was over she felt utterly drained.
Soaked to the skin and chilled to the marrow of her bones, she shivered uncontrollably.
He gazed at her. ‘You weren’t hurt?’
She shook her dripping head. ‘It hit you instead.’
His forehead furrowed with fierce concentration. She could almost see his brain working. Suddenly his eyes widened and he lunged forward. ‘The rocks—’
‘It’s all right.’ Polly grabbed his shoulders, holding him back. ‘There’s no danger. We’re well away from the coast.’ She helped him up on to the seat, then sagged down beside him, forearms resting on her knees, head bent, dizzy from the exertion. She felt rather than saw him gazing round, trying to work out what had happened.
‘How long was I out?’ he asked.
Trying to smooth the tension from her face with both hands, she shrugged. ‘I’m not sure.’
‘You didn’t notice?’ His sharp irony was tempered by amazement.
‘I was rather busy,’ she flared. ‘If anything had happened to your precious boat, or we’d both drowned, you’d never have let me forget—’ Her voice trailed off as she recognised the absurdity of what she was saying.
‘Too right,’ he snapped. ‘I’d have haunted you from here to eternity.’
‘You’ll do that anyway,’ she retorted, then looked away quickly, knowing she’d betrayed herself. She stood up too fast, grabbing the coaming as dizziness made her sway. ‘I—I’ll—we both need a hot drink.’
He rose to his feet, blocking the companionway with his body. Already he looked his old strong, capable self. His colour had returned to normal. He shook his head slowly. ‘Polly Levington, you are one hell of a woman.’
Jerking her head up, Polly stared at him, not quite certain how to react, for his tone hadn’t been one of admiration, but more a reluctant acknowledgement.
‘Thanks,’ she said drily. ‘But what’s a spell of bad weather between fr—?’ She broke off again, turning her head aside. She moistened her lips, feeling the raised and tender flesh where her teeth had bitten through.
Friends. That was what she had been going to say. Despite all the sparks they had struck off one another she had felt they were forging a deep friendship based on mutual respect and acknowledgement of each other’s special qualities. But that had been before—
‘Excuse me,’ she whispered, and tried to push past him.
He didn’t budge. Instead he caught her chin and raised it, forcing her to meet his eyes. ‘I owe you my life,’ he said softly.
She shook her head. ‘No, you don’t owe me a thing.’ She wanted him to understand. ‘When death was a distinct possibility, I realised just how precious life really is. It might not hold all I’d hoped for, but . . .’ She made a brief gesture of acceptance. ‘And in certain ways I’ve been very lucky. At least I’ve known what—’ She broke off, unable to continue. ‘There’s just one thing.’ She swallowed the lump in her throat. ‘Please, I have to know. When did you learn about Clive’s confession?’
Nathan glanced at his watch. ‘About fifteen hours ago.’
Polly’s eyes widened. ‘But—I thought—’
‘Yes,’ he said drily, ‘I know. And I didn’t get the chance to explain. The message came through just before you arrived back with the shopping. I intended to tell you last evening, but what with one thing and another—’ He released her chin and slid his fingers up the side of her face to cup it.
Polly’s mouth felt parched. Her heartbeat was wild and erratic. Her skin beneath his fingers burned. She wanted to close her eyes and rub her face against his hand. ‘Why, Nathan?’ The words burst from her. ‘Why did you freeze me out?’ Her eyes beseeched him for the truth.
His face hardened and for one dreadful moment she thought he was going to turn away. Then she realised. The contempt that narrowed his eyes and thinned his mouth was not directed at her, but at himself.
‘I was ashamed,’ he said bluntly. ‘I took advantage of your lack of experience.’
Polly’s brows drew together. ‘No, you didn’t. I could have said no.’
His eyes bored into hers. ‘Could you?’ he demanded drily. ‘Once I’d begun to make love to you, could you really have asked me to stop?’
‘Well, perhaps not,’ she admitted.
‘Exactly.’
‘But I didn’t want you to stop,’ she added quickly. ‘I didn’t want to stop. It felt too wonderful, too right.’
A muscle jumped in Nathan’s jaw. ‘From the moment I met you I liked your spirit, and I was strongly attracted to you. But I wasn’t—I hadn’t thought beyond that.’
She swallowed. ‘That’s OK. I understand.’ She tried to smile. ‘Look, it takes two. And I was—what do they call it?—the other consenting adult in the affair.’ The smile faltered, the strain too great.
‘Polly, you can’t call one—episode—an affair.’ His voice flattened, becoming harsher. ‘Besides, what happened with us would never, could never, be that. Not now.’
Polly met his troubled gaze. She had to hear it from his own lips, even if it meant that part of her died. At least she would finally know the truth. ‘Why not now, Nathan? Have you decided you’re not cut out for a permanent relationship? That you prefer being alone? Is that why you wanted to put me ashore?’
His brief smile held no humour. ‘On the contrary.’
She watched him, hardly daring to breathe, let alone hope.
He paused, and she sensed him gathering his thoughts. ‘When I bullied you into accepting my terms to get you out of gaol, my only concern was reaching Athens in time for my meeting.’
His gaze shifted, and he stared into the distance, his expression cruelly self-mocking. But his fingers moved lightly, continuously, stroking the side of her face. And Polly had the strange feeling that he was drawing comfort from touching her.
‘I needed a crew who could cook. Though you were decidedly naïve, you had guts and were obviously intelligent. I have to admit I was also physically attracted to you. The idea of a brief fling certainly crossed my mind. But Polly, I’m not the Casanova the gossip columns would have you believe. It had been a long time since I—’ He broke off. ‘Well, that’s hardly relevant now.’
He looked down at her, his expression softening as he studied her uptilted face. ‘What I hadn’t considered,’ he said softly, ‘what had never occurred to me, was that I might fall in love with you.’
Polly suddenly felt extraordinarily light, as if she was floating. She hadn’t realised that grief could be a physical weight. Not until it fell away, sloughed off like a dead skin.
Her heart in her eyes, she made a wry face. ‘You certainly managed to hide it well.’
The corners of his mouth curved upward. ‘That’s because, being a stranger to the emotion, I didn’t recognise it.’
‘Not even when we—?’ Polly bit her lip. She hadn’t meant to ask, the words had just slipped out.
He shook his head gently. ‘Not until afterwards. And it hit me like a thunderbolt. That’s why I left you. It was one hell of a thing to come to terms with.’
‘Yet you wanted to put me ashore.’ The desperate hurt she had felt coloured h
er voice.
His face darkened. ‘Oh, Polly,’ he whispered, and, sliding his fingers through her wet hair to support her head, he kissed her parted lips with infinite tenderness. But it quickly bloomed into passion.
As her arms went around his neck he held her close. He raised his head and looked down into her eyes. ‘I was afraid for you—of you. It was a knee-jerk reaction. You’d got to me. I hadn’t expected it. I wasn’t prepared for it. I can’t deny I’ve met a lot of women. Or rather, they’ve set out to meet me. I even imagined myself in love once.’
Polly felt a sharp pang of jealousy. Then it dawned on her that Nathan’s tone held bitterness rather than admiration.
‘She had model-girl looks, a soft sweet way of talking, and seemed really interested in my work. I thought that at last I’d found someone I could share my life with. I trusted her, confided in her.’ His features grew bleak. ‘Then I found out that I came a poor second to the real love of her life—money. While declaring undying love for me she’d been busy making herself a small fortune giving kiss-and-tell interviews to some tabloid rag.’ His smile was bitter. ‘I decided to give love a miss after that.’
Polly smoothed the tumbled curls off his forehead, careful to avoid the plaster-covered wound. ‘Oh, Nathan,’ she whispered, ‘I’m so sorry.’
He shook his head. ‘And I had the gall to judge you by those standards. Can you forgive me?’
Pressing her lips to his cheek, she smiled. ‘Do you really need to ask?’
‘I’ve never known a woman like you.’ Behind the awe in his gaze a deeper, more powerful emotion smouldered, sending thrills like tiny flames along her nerve-ends. ‘You have as much courage as any man I know. You’ll work until you’re literally dropping with tiredness. You’ll fight for what you believe in. Yet you can be so warm and gentle.’ His voice sank to a rough murmur. ‘So totally, beautifully feminine.’ He rubbed the side of his face against her temple. The rasp of his beard stubble was a sweet pain.
‘When we—I realised right away that I was the first man to . . . I should have stopped. But, God help me, I couldn’t. You were—are—everything I ever dreamed a woman could be.’
‘Oh, Nathan!’ Polly gulped, her joy overflowing in tears of happiness.
‘Just one thing,’ he murmured several minutes later. ‘After I got knocked out how the hell did you stop us from being driven on to the rocks?’
Knowing that Nathan’s arms were the safest place in the world and the only security she would ever need, Polly smiled up at him and shrugged. ‘I simply remembered what you’d told me and did that.’
His admiration was tinged with puzzlement. ‘Weren’t you frightened?’
She thought for a moment. ‘I suppose so. But I was more worried about you. I didn’t know how badly you were injured, but I didn’t dare let go of the wheel.’
‘After the way I’d behaved—’
She reached up and kissed him. ‘I was hurt,’ she admitted. ‘But I loved—love—you. That wasn’t conditional on you loving me.’
His arms tightened around her. ‘You said my work is the centre of my life. It was, until I met you. I never thought I would ever find a woman who could mean as much. And when I did I behaved like a damned fool. I could have lost you.’
‘It’s all right, Nathan,’ Polly reassured him. ‘Everything’s OK.’
Taking a deep breath, he made a visible effort to push the nightmare aside, and grinned down at her. ‘Sure it is. We’re soaking wet, dog-tired, and off course. As I’m not prepared to risk meeting Louis and his Mafia friends I can’t go back to pick up the replacement VHF set—which means we might well be without radio contact all the way to Greece.’
‘What will happen about Louis?’ Polly asked. ‘Will he be allowed to go on competing?’
‘Not if I can help it.’ Nathan’s expression was grimly determined. ‘I don’t think it will take the investigators long to come up with enough to disqualify Louis from international yacht racing. Not now that we can suggest where they might start looking.’
Polly patted the sodden sweater stretched across his broad chest. ‘Well, that’s one less competitor you have to worry about. I’ll go and put the kettle on.’
Nathan threw his head back and gave a great shout of laughter. ‘Woman, you’re superb. When will you marry me?’
She looked thoughtfully up at him. ‘Are you sure that’s what you want, Nathan?’
He hugged her fiercely. ‘Yes. Now I’ve found you I’m not going to risk losing you. Why? You haven’t got any doubts, have you?’
The sudden tension in him wrenched her heart. ‘No, my darling.’ She smiled up at him. Knowing she was loved by this powerful, dictatorial, gentle, wonderful man wiped away all the wounds and hurts of the past. ‘None at all.’ She stroked his cheek.
He grinned. ‘You’ll like being married. You’re going to be incredibly good at it—I can tell. In fact, I can hardly wait.’
‘Then let’s not wait,’ Polly suggested.
Nathan looked puzzled. ‘You mean—don’t you want a big family wedding with all the trimmings?’
She shook her head. ‘This is for us, Nathan, you and me. We’re under no obligation to put on a show for other people’s benefit.’
‘In Greece, then? As soon as the meeting’s over?’
The glow in his eyes made her heart swell, but she couldn’t resist a gentle tease. ‘With so many important things to do, will you have time?’
‘I’ll make time,’ he threatened softly with a half-smile that sent shivers of delight along her spine. ‘About a honeymoon—’
‘I get one of those as well?’
‘Of course. Any preferences?’
Polly grinned up at him. ‘Well, as I’m just beginning to get the hang of this sailing business . . .’
His arms tightened around her. ‘What would you say to a long leisurely cruise?’ Her momentary uncertainty must have showed, for he added with a throaty chuckle, ‘But no night watches.’
Polly drew her index finger across his lips and gasped as his teeth fastened gently on it. ‘Mmm, I like the sound of that.’
‘By the way—’ Nathan said thoughtfully.
‘Yes?’ she murmured, fascinated by the blend of gentleness and passion in this powerfully masculine man.
He grazed her temple with warm lips, then raised his head so he could study her. ‘I have to do a lot of travelling in the coming year. I want you with me. I couldn’t possibly allow my wife to work for men who can’t keep their minds on the job and their hands to themselves.’ Though his expression was serious she recognised that gleam in his eye.
‘Unless they happen to be you?’ she finished drily.
‘I’ve always admired your quick grasp of essentials.’
‘We-ell—’ she pretended to consider.
Nathan held her close. ‘When I said before that I’d trust you with my life, it was a statement based on instinct. Now, I know. I want you with me, Polly. I want your professionalism and integrity at my side during working hours.’ His voice deepened, and grew husky. ‘And I want your very, very personal attention all night. Equal partners, a lifetime contract. What do you say?’
Polly laid her palms against the strong hard face she loved so much, knowing exactly what she wanted to do with the rest of her life. ‘Nathan Bryce,’ her smile reflected the radiance that filled her whole being, ‘you’ve got yourself a deal.’
