by Sweet, Dell
Mike shook his head, bad thoughts running wild through it. “There was nobody else, Annie,” he asked?
“No,” she answered.
“Well, that’s something,” Bob said.
“You think so?” Lilly asked. She looked pasty sitting next to Tom. Too pale. Too fragile. Too young to be involved in all of this.
“Well, it’s only two is what I mean. And they saw there were more of us than them,” Bob finished.
“Maybe, maybe not,” Candace said. “They saw a few more. And they’re only two. There are probably others. That’s what we really have to talk about… others... the fact that we could’ve already had this problem several times over. Who knows how many little groups are wandering around out there? Are they all like that? Probably not, but how are we going to be now?” She looked around, “Trusting? Naive? I hope not either. But we will be some way. We have to be. We can’t close our eyes and just tell ourselves there aren’t people like that out there, because there are.”
“So, that’s it,” Mike said after a few moments of silence. “We need to discuss it. What options do we have? Who has some ideas?”
“Better weapons,” Tom said.
“At least that,” Ronnie agreed.
“No more going out on trips split up,” Nell suggested.
“Maybe we should leave now,” Tim threw in.
“Maybe we should,” Lilly agreed.
Tom had lowered his head as he often did when he listened. He would turn his head toward the speaker and listen as they spoke. His head shot back up and his eyes focused on Lilly, but he said nothing. Candace shot Mike a quick look. Mike shrugged his shoulders.
“No guarantee that we wouldn’t run into the same type of people no matter where we might go,” Mike said.
“Probably would,” Patty added.
Candace nodded. “Bad is bad. It’ll be everywhere.”
“If we went back to the land,” Bob said, “Far enough out, who would there be to bother us?”
“But,” Candace said, “Not everyone wants to do that, Bob.”
“Maybe it’s the only way,” Bob came back.
“I don’t want to do it,” Patty said. “But I don’t want to live in a cave either, and here I am. I also don’t want to live in fear of what someone might or might not do.”
Mike raised his hands palms out in a gesture of conciliation. “We can talk about leaving,” He said.
“Maybe we’re all not wanting to go to the same place,” Janet Dove said.
“Maybe,” Mike agreed. He tried not to show it, but her remark surprised him. He knew she wanted to go back to the traditional Native way of life, but, hell, everything was nature now, wasn’t it? Wasn’t that the same thing?
“I didn’t really want to go,” Tom said. “But,” he looked over at Lilly, “Now, I don’t know.”
Even Candace’s head shot up. It seemed everything was a surprise tonight, Mike thought.
“Maybe,” Mike said, “We need to air all of this out.” He waited until all the little side conversations that had sprung up fell silent.
“It seems everyone has something on their mind. Maybe this is the best time to get it off your mind. Speak your mind. Let it go. We should work out where we all are, where we want to be, where we’re going to, what we’re working towards… I’ll be honest,” he paused, “I was surprised twice in a couple of seconds. What I thought I knew about some of you… What I had thought you had said, turned out to be wrong. We can’t… No... I can't tell you what to do, but we shouldn’t do that to each other. We should all know what page we’re on. True?”
“It’s not like you can’t change your mind,” Candace said. “It’s your mind, your life. But to plan for all of us, we need to know where we’re going, where we are, don’t we?”
Bob spoke: “You’re right, of course. I guess once Sandy came along we started to think more about the real kind of life we wanted to live. I have always wanted to live, but I think I speak for Jan and Sandy too, I have always wanted to live the Native lifestyle. I want to go back to the land… I mean really go back. I don’t want to live in a cave either. And I'm not saying I want to live in a longhouse even. It’s the way of life I want, the stories I heard as a child. Only do it right this time, not give up our land, live on it... with it. Can you see that?” He seemed defensive but enthusiastic.
“I can see it,” Mike said. “I can’t say it’s for me, not yet. Maybe it will be someday,” he shrugged his shoulders, “But… But I don’t know what else might be left. Could the world really be destroyed? All of it? Everything? I can’t imagine it, not all of it. Not everything. I’m not saying I want my T.V. back, but I’m not sure I want to move into a cave either.” He grinned and looked around. “But I did. I’ll admit that. It’s the first thing I did. Maybe that says something… and not just about me. But that’s me. If Bob’s not talking about living in a cave or a long house…” He shrugged again. “I don’t know… We each have to make up our own minds. You have to live true to you, because if you don’t, you are nothing.” Silence held. Bob nodded his head a few times.
“So… What are you going to do, Bob? What are you really talking about? I mean, say it so we know,” Patty said.
Bob looked from Janet to Sandy. “We have to decide, but we will go - we just haven’t decided where yet - back into the wilderness… the lands... somewhere isolated. But we want to bring more people. It wouldn’t work with just a few of us. So we would like to go with you with the understanding that we would eventually go out on our own,” Bob finished.
“So you would try to recruit people from the people we meet along the way?” Ronnie asked.
“You make it sound like stealing,” Bob said.
“No. No,” Ronnie said. “I don’t mean to make it sound that way. But it makes it kind of hard to get behind. Here we would be trying to bring people together, and you would be trying to convince them to something else. We’d be trying to get them to work with us, and you’d be trying to get them to work with you. It might drive them away if they think we can’t even agree how it should be between us,” Ronnie finished.
“Stealing,” Bob said again.
“No… It’s… This is a community,” He looked to Mike and Candace who nodded for him to continue.
“So... it’s a community and we would be trying to get everyone to work together. You see?”
“Are you saying you wouldn’t have us because of that?” Sandy asked.
“No one said that at all,” Candace said.
“Certainly not,” Mike agreed. “It’s not like that. If you want to come, you come. I can see where you would be an asset to us. I can also see your need to do this thing you want to do. I can see where you would need more people to do that. I can see where I might be convinced to go with you. Let’s not shut doors. Let’s not start mistrusting or trying to read things into what we say. Ronnie asked the questions any of us might have. In fact I would have if he hadn’t. The people you need for what you want to do are probably not going to be the same people we need for what we want to do. It’s a different type of life. Different people… Different ideals… Different purpose, dreams, directions. How could that hurt either of us? I don’t see where it could. Let’s not go back to the old world view, fear of what we don’t know about each other; let’s just let it be. No one has decided yet to go with us or you. We don’t even really know if we’re on opposite sides yet,” Mike concluded.
“I agree,” Ronnie said. “I didn’t mean to imply that I have some great plan or idea. I could find myself wanting to go with you when the time comes too. Mike makes sense. Maybe we don’t want the same things, maybe we do. And after today, I think it would be safer if we all travel together. Less inviting to trouble.”
Bob nodded, satisfied. Silence held for a few seconds.
“He’s not coming back. I know that,” Nell said. Her eyes teared up. “My husband,” She added after a short pause. “I lied to myself, you know. I don’t want to believe he�
��s gone. But I don’t want to wait here, stay here; I want to go with you guys. This place is… like a city of dead,” she finished.
Make that three surprises, Mike thought to himself.
“I want to go,” Tom said. “I… I want to go.”
Mike nodded.
“I want to go,” Lilly said.
Mike had been sure that if Tom had said he wanted to stay, Lilly would have wanted to stay too. Now he wasn’t sure. It seemed now it might be the other way around.
Annie was looking from face to face.
“I don’t want to stay here,” she said at last.
“You could come with us,” Tim said. He smiled. “You want to, right?” he asked. His smile faltered a little.
She answered him with her own smile. “I want to.”
“Good,” Tim said.
Mike looked around. Amazing, he thought. “I’m amazed,” he said. Echoing his own thoughts.
“When?” Bob asked.
“Today changes it. Doesn’t it?” Patty asked.
“Does it?” Mike asked.
“I think so,” Ronnie said.
“I do too,” Tom agreed.
“Yeah, it has to,” Sandy agreed.
“Well, then it does,” Mike said. “What do we… what do you want to do? Leave sooner?”
Yes, they all answered in unison. He blinked, surprised again. “My concern is winter,” he told them. “I don’t like this situation either. We could have two people out there with weapons waiting to come after us… Coming around, maybe taking shots at us,” He shrugged. “Or maybe they’re as scared as we are. Just as scared. And maybe we shouldn’t over react because of that fear. In any case, the days are colder. It’s still winter. It could snow at any time. We have shelter here. Yes, it’s a cave, but we’re not cave men because we’re living in a cave. It’s shelter. We know the area. We know where to get gas for the trucks, food, supplies.”
“It’s close to April,” Patty said. “Just a few days really.”
“So we could shoot for getting ourselves ready to go by April first,” Mike said. “Supplies.” He looked around at the supplies in the vast cave. “April first. If the weather’s good, we go,” He paused. “Everyone agreed?”
Another chorus of Yes answered him. Even the dog barked and wagged his tail. The looks on nearly everyone’s face showed relief. The dog’s enthusiastic and well timed bark caused most of them to break into laughter. Relief, Mike thought.
“Until we go,” Mike waited for the talking and the laughter to die down “We only go somewhere together, and we take one of these carbines when we do.” He held up one of the rifles they had taken away from the two young men just hours before. “The other stays here to protect the cave. Double the guards at night, starting tonight.” He paused again, but no one spoke out. “Guess that’s it,” he said quietly. “We’ve decided.”
Janet ~ March 19th
We are going. We have all decided to go. Bob announced our plans for a new Nation of people. They are not all for that… yet. But I know some will be.
We all agreed on April first. Thirteen days. I hope that is not unlucky.
We have three more with us from a horrible incident that happened today out at the mall on Arsenal Street. A woman was killed and Bob had to kill someone. That is the main reason we are going.
Tom even changed his mind about going. He has changed a lot in the last few days. He’s very different from what he was when we first met him. We will leave these journals behind us for others to find, I guess. We didn’t really discuss that part of things. I'm not sure I want to.
We are all nervous about today. There are two more people out there still on the loose that may want to hurt us and they may know where we’re at. Tom and Mike have posted a double guard until we leave… APRIL FIRST!
Candace ~ March 19th
If there was any doubt in anyone’s mind who is leading us, there isn’t now. Mike does it so easily. I sometimes think he doesn't realize how much faith people put in him.
Tom surprised everyone tonight; he’s with us now. Bob, Janet and Sandy are not. They have an idea of reestablishing the Native Nation, going back to the land. It has its appeal. And, it’s clear to see they are not just talking about it. They, Bob and Janet at least, have thought it out. Janet told me later on that Bob has a place in mind. He has had that place in mind for years. Years… That is how well planned it is in his mind, how serious he is about it. Never say never, but I can’t see myself there.
Mike said he doesn’t want his T.V. back, me either, maybe, but was it all bad? No. When he said that I thought of an old song, Dire Straits, with a line “I want my M.T.V.” Don’t ask me why that popped into my head, but it did. Must be the musician in me. My point is, it wasn’t all bad. It wasn’t. Why throw it all away? Why not get rid of the bad shit and save the rest?
Mike said to me later, when we were alone, that he thinks that’s what Bob really wants to do, get rid of the bad shit and keep the good shit, and if he does really want to do that, then Mike is for it. And, really, so would I be.
So, we will leave April first, Bob with us, and we may split or stay together at some point after that.
Ronnie made a point which I thought was a good one: It could be a draw on us as a people as Bob takes some away from us. I mean, they make it sound so good, who wouldn’t want to go? Ronnie made that point later when it was just he and Patty and Mike and me. During the conversation we all had, he skated up to the same statement, but Bob didn’t like it right out there bald like it was.
Paradise? Living off the land? Living as one with Nature? Mother Nature? Doesn’t it sound good? Living in harmony with God. Almost as if it will not be work at all. No one shouting at you… Anyway, Mike made a good point too: If we go towards a way of life more like the old world, technology, we would not be attracting the same people anyway. So, what will we have lost traveling together? Maybe people we would eventually have lost anyway, and it will definitely be safer to travel together. When and if the split happens, we can worry about or deal with it then.
April first… If there is no snow… If it’s safe. We still have to decide where we are going, but there is time.
Tom ~ March 19th
I changed my mind today. It was a bad day for me today, but
a worse day for the man Bob had to kill. It’s all we do anymore, kill. That’s not completely true, but it’s close. It’s a harder world.
I’m going. Lilly is going with me. We’re going together, maybe that’s the best way to put it. We have fourteen of us now to be worried about. Mike is younger than I am, but more solid. I think I didn’t like him for that at first, but it is what it is. I work better... I mean, in my head it’s easier, the way things have been lately with him in charge.
We decided on April First to leave Watertown.
~In the Moonlight~
They came from the shadows, the smell of blood pulling them. The young man in the lead approached the body where it lay on the pavement. They had watched it far into the darkness, but unlike some, it did not come back. He walked up to the corpse and toed it with one heavy work boot.
“Done for,” he croaked. Two in the small crowd behind him whined. He stepped back from the body. “Go ahead,” he said in a rasping whisper, “Go ahead.”
The small crowd of seven fell on the body and began to feed.
CHAPTER SIX
Best Laid Plans
~ March 20th ~
“…it’s not the same every day,” Tom was saying as Candace came out of the cave entrance. She looked a question at Mike and Ronnie where they sat listening.
“Length of the day,” Mike explained.
“Yeah,” Tom agreed. He nodded at Candace. “Yesterday, twenty-six hours and a couple of minutes. Day before, twenty five and forty-two.”
“Pretty close though,” Ronnie said. “Starting to become uniform. Beats the days when it was closer to forty hours or more.”
Tom nodded.
; “We don’t know what it means anyway,” Candace said. “Even a scientist would probably give us about ten hours of song and dance and then hand us the same old bullshit theory based on some other theory, based on, well, you know.”
“It’s colder again,” Mike said. “But it doesn’t feel cold enough to snow.” He looked up to see if anyone held a different view.
Janet Dove and Sandy walked out of the cave with the young girl, Annie, and the two little ones trailing her. A few seconds later Tim came out of the cave too, looking around until his eyes fell on Annie. Candace smiled and glanced over at Janet Dove who was also smiling. “Good morning, Janet,” Candace said. “I see you’ve got lots of help this morning.” Everyone carried boxes filled with odds and ends. They set them down, and Annie and Tim began going through them.
“I do at that, Candy,” Janet said. “We’re sorting through the stuff we brought back, to see what we’ll take with us, what else we need.” Candace smiled and nodded back.
“Candy?” Mike mouthed when she looked his way. She rolled her eyes.
Bob walked over. “I thought we should make specific lists. Janet’s going to make lists of what we’ll really need and what we have, so when we go out, that way we’re not out a long time. We’re going for exactly what we need,” Bob said.
Everyone nodded agreement. “I guess we should all be thinking like that,” Mike said.
“Yeah,” Ronnie agreed. “What we take, or have to have, we may end up carrying. There’s no guarantee that there will be roads in good shape, or roads at all.”
The conversation bounced back and forth for nearly an hour, everyone contributing ideas that they thought should be on the lists: food stuffs that were high in protein, clean, bottled water, back packs, the big ones hikers use, tents. Candace produced a pen and Patty, who had joined them, wrote it all down. “That way we’re all on the same page,” Candace said.
“I think we should dig in with Janet,” Mike said. “See what we need, what we got, what we need to get.”
