by Mari Carr
Sean pulled her T-shirt over her head, bending down to take her pebbled nipple between his lips. He sucked hard, the rough suction sending impulses along every part of her body. She pushed her hips against his, needing more stimulation, more sensation. Her body was on fire, held hostage by his mastery.
As he stripped her pants off, she reached to shed his clothing as well.
“Put your hands back on the bed.” His voice was deep, firm.
“I want to see you.”
Sean paused. That charged moment was all she needed. His face told her he would have his way on this and she put her hands back on the pillow by her head.
“I know what you need, Lauren,” he said. “Now let me give it to you.”
His lips returned to hers and his kiss washed away every other thought. All she needed was relief.
Then, the image of Chad’s face flashed in her mind.
“God,” she groaned when he pulled away to suck on her breast once more. Her mind was running in a million different directions, her emotions on system overload. Sean moved farther away, knelt between her open legs. His gaze drifted from her pussy, slowly up her body until it landed on her face.
Then he reached forward and pressed a finger inside her. She groaned. She’d been waiting for that touch but it still wasn’t enough.
“You need more,” he said, his eyes holding hers captive.
She nodded.
“Tell me what,” he prompted.
“Another finger,” she whispered.
He complied, adding a second finger to the first, the thrusts still shallow, still not creating the incredible friction she’d grown accustomed to.
“You need more,” he repeated. “Tell me.”
“Harder,” she begged. “Faster.”
Again he took her at his words, driving her to the peak of her climax quickly. Even as her body flushed with heat and need, it wasn’t enough.
“Tell me,” he said once more. “I’ll give you everything you need, Lauren. Everything.”
“You.” She reached for him but he was too far away. His eyes narrowed and she remembered she wasn’t supposed to move. She put her hands back on the bed. Pleased by her acquiescence, he quickly opened his pants, bent forward, placed his cock at the entrance to her body and shoved inside in one firm, hard, beautiful thrust. He filled her in an instant, a millisecond, but still…
“What else, Lauren?”
Her eyes had closed when he’d entered her, but now they flew open. “What?”
He smiled, setting a steady rhythm as he fucked her into oblivion. Even as he moved, she knew he waited for an answer.
Her body was flying on autopilot, heading toward the orgasm it desired, and basically it didn’t give a shit about the fact he wanted to talk.
“God,” she cried, when he hit that one spot, deep inside. Lights flashed behind her eyelids. She reached up, gripped the tops of his strong arms, searching for something to anchor her to this spot, this moment.
“Tell me.” Sean paused just seconds before her climax. Her body trembled in pain as he withheld what she needed most.
“No!” she yelled, but he didn’t move.
“You want more, Lauren. All you have to do is ask.”
She found it difficult to breathe, the air in the room stifling hot.
As she looked into his beloved face, she saw determined lines around his eyes and mouth and in that instant, she realized.
He knew what was missing.
“Chad,” she whispered.
He smiled and began to thrust harder, faster. Somehow she’d freed them both with her confession. It was out in the open. With her confession made, she felt lighter, freer, alive. Her hips rose to meet Sean’s, the pounding pleasure of his lovemaking driving her straight into the white-hot magic.
She screamed as she came, a cacophony of words flying from her lips, Sean’s name, Chad’s name, words of love and forever.
“Yes,” she heard Sean hiss, and then she felt the hot splashes of his release fill her.
He would give her everything she wanted. Everything.
For several moments they clung to each other and Lauren let herself remain adrift in the blissful aftermath. The real world would return too soon.
“You’re in love with him.” Sean didn’t seem surprised or even sad, his words a statement rather than a question. He rolled away, claiming his side of the bed as he faced her.
With some distance between them, her head felt clearer and her senses returned.
“Yes,” she admitted. “I love you, Sean. I really do. It’s just—”
“You love him too.”
She smiled sadly. “I love him too. Do you hate me?”
Sean chuckled. “God no. Never.”
She fell silent. His words so typically, wonderfully Sean.
“We have time, Lauren. I meant what I said. I’ll give you everything you want. You just have to trust me. For now, sleep.”
She curled against his shoulder as he engulfed her in his large embrace. For once, she wasn’t trying to solve the puzzle. For once, she gave up all her internal struggles and placed herself in Sean’s capable, strong hands. And for the first time in a long time, she felt happy.
* * * * *
Chad’s legs gave out and he let the wall support him as he slid slowly to the floor, his mind trying to process what he’d just heard.
He’d returned from dinner with Lily, exhausted, nothing on his mind except falling into bed. As he reached the top of the stairs, he’d heard the creaking mattress. He’d been tempted to turn around and go back to the living room to sleep on the couch.
Then Lauren had screamed.
Sean’s name—and his.
His.
Stunned, he stared at the closed door to Lauren and Sean’s bedroom, trying to figure out what the hell that meant. Sean must have heard her. Yet the door remained closed. The room quiet.
And Chad stayed on the floor, staring at the door, wishing he were on the other side.
Chapter Five
Lauren looked around the room full of women and grinned. She took another sip of Riley’s famous vodka punch, perfectly aware of the fact she’d already consumed too much of the stuff. She didn’t care though. Chances were she’d have lots more before the night was over. The alcohol was dulling the sharp pain that had been slicing through her heart since waking this morning to find Sean gone. Granted, he’d had to work, but the distance had given her too much time to think, to doubt. Chad had been suspiciously absent as well and she was now a bundle of nerves as she questioned everything that had happened last night.
She’d escaped her silent torture a few hours earlier, volunteering to help Riley decorate for the shower in an attempt to think of anything other than how she was royally fucking up her life.
More laughter pulled Lauren from her heavy thoughts and she pushed them away, determined to enjoy the evening. Riley and her friend Bubbles had organized what was quite possibly the craziest baby shower she’d ever attended.
They’d just finished played Pin the Diaper on the Bad Baby. She wasn’t sure where Riley had found all the posters of hot, naked men, but Lauren was hoping Riley would let her take the cowboy one home. Prior to that, Lauren had kicked ass in the baby bottle chugging contest, though Lily had given her a run for her money. The ladies in attendance had already consumed one large bowl of the punch and were currently working their way through the second batch.
Natalie, the mother-to-be and one of the few remaining sober women in the room, was almost finished opening the pile of shower gifts and was currently wiping away a happy tear as Teagan strummed the last chord in the lullaby she’d written for Nat’s baby.
Lauren had gotten to know most of the Collins women quite well over the years through her relationship with Sean. They’d never failed to make her feel like one of their own. She watched Natalie gently rub the large bulge of her belly and she knew Ewan and Nat’s baby was one of the luckiest kids in the world. She could only
imagine how awesome it would be to grow up with such a large and loving family.
A tap on her shoulder pulled Lauren from her thoughts and she turned to see Keira standing behind her. “Riley said you wanted to talk to me.”
Lauren nodded, suddenly feeling nervous. The cowardly part of her had actually decided tonight wasn’t a good night to approach Keira. A quick glance at Riley’s smug smile told her that her friend knew she’d planned to chicken out.
“I, um…” She cleared her throat. “I have an assignment for class, but now might not be a good time. I mean, it’s your sister-in-law’s baby shower and I’m not sure—”
Keira raised a hand to cut her off. “Now is fine. The presents are almost all opened and I have a feeling Riley has another twisted game planned. If I drink too much more of that punch tonight, I’ll be dancing on the tables soon. Of course, Will likes it when I dance for him.”
Lauren laughed. “Actually, it was sort of you and Will I wanted to talk about.” Lauren lifted her glass and tossed back the rest of her spiked punch, hoping it would relax her. How was she supposed to ask Keira about her submissive lifestyle?
Although, after discovering the buttons Sean had pushed in her last night, it was clear she needed to get some answers to her questions. She was on the verge of spontaneously combusting from the bonfire of lust this assignment had fueled in her body. She needed to know what this meant. If it was normal.
Keira smiled kindly. “Come on. Let’s top up these drinks and find somewhere quiet.” Keira refilled both their glasses and they headed down the hallway to the kitchen as the rest of the party broke into howls of laughter. Bubbles was explaining the rules to the next game, something involving banana baby food and pacifiers.
As they entered the kitchen, Keira took a seat at the table, gesturing to the chair next to her. “I swear to God only my sister would ask an ex-Vegas hooker to organize games for a baby shower.”
Lauren sank down in the seat. “Yeah, I know. Bubbles is great. I’m having a blast.”
“Me too. Riley told me what your assignment was about.”
Lauren tried to decide if she was annoyed with or grateful to her friend. “She did?”
Keira nodded. “You have to explore the submissive lifestyle for a paper in your Human Sexuality class.”
Lauren toyed with her glass. “And you don’t think it’s odd Riley wanted me to talk to you about that particular subject?”
Keira’s soft laughter immediately set Lauren’s mind at ease. She’d always admired Sean’s oldest sister. She was one of the few people Lauren had ever met who genuinely fit in her own skin. “Is that your subtle way of asking me if Riley’s right? If I’m submissive?”
Lauren gave her a guilty grin. “I hate to pry.”
“You aren’t prying. I initiated the conversation, remember? If I didn’t want to talk about it, I would have told Riley to forget it and we’d be out there playing that perverted pacifier game.”
“How do you know it’s perverted?” Lauren asked, looking over her shoulder as another round of cheers and laughter rose in the living room.
Keira feigned a shudder. “Bubbles called it the ‘Banana Suckers’ game. Do I really need to say more?”
They laughed and Lauren relaxed. She felt her concerns easing. “I don’t get it.”
“Get what?” Keira asked.
“You’re one of the most self-sufficient, strong women I’ve ever met. I guess I don’t understand why you would give all that up in the bedroom.”
Keira rested her chin on her hand and sighed. “Have you done any research on this subject yet?” Lauren nodded, confused by the question until Keira clarified, “And in that research, does it say that the submissive gives up all control?”
Lauren considered her question. In one article, the submissive woman commented on feeling more powerful than her Dom, but the words seemed in direct contradiction to the scene the woman was describing. “Not exactly, but—”
“Not at all. Lauren, I’m the oldest of seven kids. My mom died when I was in high school and I spent nearly a decade trying to be what I thought my family needed. You see me as strong and self-sufficient and that makes me happy. It’s a wonderful compliment you’ve paid me, but I didn’t become any of those things until I gave my heart, my soul and my body over to Will.”
Lauren sighed. “Again with the contradictions. That doesn’t make sense.”
Keira took a sip of her punch and winced slightly. “I think Riley made this second batch stronger than the first. Maybe it does sound like a contradiction, but consider this. When I met Will, I was burning the candle at both ends—working full-time in the pub, attending college, trying to be a mother to my brothers and sisters. I’m afraid Sean caught the brunt of my smothering since he was the youngest. I was a bundle of pent-up nerves and anxieties, encased in an exhausted body. In a word, I was a mess.”
“And Will changed that?”
Keira smiled. “Will changed everything. I swear sometimes it feels like I’m this solid form to everyone else, but to him, I’m transparent. He saw all the jumbled-up craziness inside me and he introduced me to his lifestyle.”
Lauren blushed as she imagined Keira’s handsome husband in leather, wielding a whip.
Keira must’ve understood her look perfectly, because she laughed. “There’s more to the lifestyle than silly accoutrements.”
Lauren shook her head. “I’m sorry. I’m not usually so naïve and juvenile. I think I’m a bit tired tonight. I’ve had too much of this damn punch. Feels like my brain is slogging through mud.”
Keira leaned back and studied her face. Lauren knew the pose well. It was one she’d employed numerous times in her psychology classes. Unfortunately, she was used to being the studier, not the studied. “You’re overwrought.”
Lauren frowned. “No, I’m not. I’m fine.”
“You remind me a lot of myself, Lauren.”
Lauren shook her head. “Thank you, Keira, but no. While you’ve fought to overcome some difficult things—losing your mom to cancer, taking care of your pop and your family—my life’s been a piece of cake. I mean, my folks are happily married and helping me achieve my college degree, my brother and I have a pretty cool relationship, though I don’t see him as much as I’d like. I’m only working part-time, which certainly isn’t wearing me out. I’m just nice, normal, boring Lauren.”
“And nice, normal, boring Lauren is in love with two men.”
Lauren’s face flushed hotly. “Riley told you?” Her tone betrayed her anger and hurt.
Keira shook her head. “No. She didn’t.”
“Then who?”
“Actually, it was Will who pointed it out once. My hubby is too observant.”
Lauren closed her eyes. “Great. Like that’s not completely embarrassing.”
Keira reached across the table to take Lauren’s hand. “Oh no. I didn’t say that to embarrass you. Will just observed that there were some unexplored feelings between the three of you. Honestly, until he said it, I’d had no idea. Then I started looking more closely.”
“Yeah, well. I’m not sure how unexplored they are.” She wasn’t sure why she was confessing so much to Keira, but something about the woman told Lauren her trust wouldn’t be misplaced.
“Meaning?”
“Meaning Sean’s sort of offered to help me research this particular topic.”
Keira grinned. “The ménage or the submission?”
“Both.”
Her answer caused Keira to giggle. “I bet he did. I’ve always suspected there was a bit of a closeted Dom in my baby brother. I have a feeling your assignment is a bit like waving a red flag in front of a bull. Chances are good you aren’t the only person who’s going to learn something from this assignment.”
“It’s not Sean who needs to be convinced.”
Keira frowned. “Chad’s not interested?”
Lauren shrugged. “I have no idea where Chad’s interests lie.” The words weren’t exac
tly the truth. The kiss they’d shared told her Chad wanted her, and his face as they had discussed submission definitely betrayed his desire to play the Dom.
“Ah,” Keira said, as Lauren watched understanding dawn in the other woman’s face. “So your problem is actually twofold.”
“Meaning?” Lauren asked.
“You want to explore submission, but you also want to engage in a ménage with Chad and Sean.”
Lauren put her head on her arms on top of the table. “This is impossible. I’m not the kind of girl who can do one of those things, let alone both.”
“Why not?”
Lauren raised her head slightly. “I told you why. Remember me? Boring, normal Lauren? You’re the brave one.”
“Comparing yourself to me isn’t fair. Saying that your life has been all sunshine and roses, so you can’t follow my path, is just wrong. You know that.”
“Yeah. I know that. You wouldn’t know I’m the psych major in this conversation, would you? You missed your calling, Keira. And I’m obviously in the wrong field.”
“It’s easy to recognize and categorize other people’s problems because there are no emotions attached to them.”
Lauren sat up and nodded. “I think it’s safe to say I have every emotion under the sun rolling around in me right now—love, lust, confusion, loneliness, depression, happiness…” She paused then added, “Vodka,” with a laugh.
“I was dealing with all of those same feelings when I started dating Will and I was exhausted. He taught me to let go of the reins, showed me it was okay to shrug off the heavy load every now and again and let someone else carry it. I make a hundred decisions during the day at work. I worry constantly about my family. Pop’s health, Natalie’s pregnancy, Teagan and Sky on the road all the time, Sean. When I go home at night, Will’s there, waiting for me. He’s shown me how to clear my mind, how to trust and love and feel. Believe me, after a night in his arms, I wake up every morning refreshed and ready to take on the world again.”
Lauren nodded, Keira’s words making sense after her experience with Sean the previous night. For a little while, she’d put herself completely into his hands and it had felt more wonderful that she could have imagined.
