“You hurt me, Jude. I don’t know if anything anyone’s ever said has hurt me as much as you did on that stage tonight,” she admits. Her warm breath skids across the skin of my neck, and every strand of hair on my body stands on end.
I open my eyes and lean backward, staring directly at her. “I don’t know what else to say but I’m sorry.”
Her chin starts to quiver before she closes her eyes and speaks. “This is too hard. Our text messages, the kissing, all of it.” She melts into me, hiding her face as she rests her cheek against my chest. “Sometimes I forget we’re enemies, but then it slams back into me like a ton of bricks.”
There’s nothing that has given me as much pleasure in the last weeks as I feel now, having her pressed up against me. “I know, baby.”
Her hand slides up my arm and rests on my bicep, her fingers gripping me tightly. “When I told you good-bye at the hotel, I meant it, Jude. I can’t keep doing this to myself. It’s not fair to either of us.”
“I have a solution.”
“I’m not fucking you,” she grumbles.
I can’t help but laugh. “Not that, but I wouldn’t say no if you offered.” I pause because she’s going to like my idea even less. “Why don’t you drop out?”
She tenses in my arms, and her fingernails bite into my skin. “Drop out?”
“Yeah.” It comes out casually, like we’re discussing something other than our political future. “Then we can be together.”
Her head jerks back, but she can’t get away with my arm wrapped around her middle. “Why don’t you drop out?” she asks through gritted teeth and a clenched jaw.
My hand slides up her side. “My work is too important. You don’t really have anything that important to handle in Washington.”
This time, her entire body jolts away from me, and she smacks me. “How dare you!”
The blow makes my head jerk to the side, but I quickly right myself. “I’m just stating the obvious.”
The glare in her eyes can only be described as wild. “I fucking hate you!” she yells with a snarled lip.
Fuck. This isn’t how I wanted this to go down. Quickly, I grab her by the back of the neck and bring her face to mine. “You don’t hate me. You could never hate me.”
“I do,” she whispers.
There’s no time to argue the point. She doesn’t hate me. I know that no matter what’s said between us in public or private, I could never feel that way about her.
We’ve spent too long apart, playing a game of cat and mouse for weeks through text messages. My hands find her cheeks, gently holding her face in my palms, and I lean over and brush my lips against hers.
Her throaty moan that fills my mouth when she opens to me doesn’t sound anything like hate. Her tongue tangles with mine, needy and hot. My grip tightens on her face; I’m worried she’ll come to her senses and pull away.
My mouth grows more demanding. An uncontrollable need to remind her how perfectly our bodies fit together takes over.
We’re moving, backing up as I lead her toward the wall next to her dressing table. My hands skate down her body, capturing her waist and lifting her against me.
Her legs wrap around my middle. “We can’t,” she says against my mouth and rubs her panty-covered pussy against my cock that’s covered in too many layers.
Her kiss grows deeper, hungrier than before. I’m mindless with lust, squeezing her ass as I plaster her back against the wall.
When our lips disconnect for a second, she’s breathy and panting. “I hate you,” she whispers, grinding her core against me.
Pushing against her, I hold her body up with one arm and touch her breast through her dress. “You don’t hate me. You hate how much you want me.” My hips swivel, creating friction between us as I kiss her again, rougher this time.
Her hands are roaming over my shoulders, squeezing my skin underneath and driving me crazy with want. When the need to taste her flesh overwhelms me, my mouth slides from her lips to her neck.
She pushes against the wall, giving me better access, but she rubs against my dick harder than before. I’m hanging by a thread as my lips blaze a trail down her neck. A moan rumbles deep in my throat, and my teeth sink into her soft flesh while she shivers in my arms.
The door opens and we both freeze.
“Reagan?” Lexi says from behind us.
We’re both staring at each other with wide eyes, unable to move.
Reagan’s heels dig into my ass as her hold on me tightens, but her terrified eyes stay locked on mine. “Can you give us a minute?” Reagan asks with a shaky breath.
“Well… Um…” Lexi pauses. “Yeah.”
When the door closes quickly, we both start to laugh. The ramifications of being caught aren’t lost on either of us, but we can’t stop ourselves from chuckling. For a moment, I think this must be what it’s like to be a parent when your kids catch you in the act. Your heart leaps and then stops, you’re unable to move for fear of too much being seen—namely my hard-on—and you know nothing will ever be the same.
My hold on her loosens, and she slowly slides down my body, pushing harder against me than she needs to. She makes sure to make it as uncomfortable as possible for me.
“Fuck,” I groan when her feet touch the floor, and our contact is broken. I’m not sure what’s worse—the torture or the nothingness of the loss of her.
Reagan’s face is red, and her lips are swollen. “Shit.”
My cock’s not ready to stop, and I reach down, pushing it aside and praying that I can walk out of here without a massive boner. “I think we have a lot of explaining to do.”
She starts to pace and catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror. First, she wipes away the last smears of mascara that hadn’t transferred to me while we were lip-locked. “I’ll take care of her.”
Her tiny fingers smooth down her hair in an attempt to make it look more presentable. “Fuck it,” she mutters and removes the pins, letting her hair cascade down her shoulders. But she doesn’t just let it fall, she flips forward and stands up quickly, letting it flow through the air and land wildly against her back.
Jesus.
She’s like the perfect fantasy, and she doesn’t even know it. I’m picturing Carl’s face or those horrible television commercials where they show abused animals. Those fuckers get me every time, and there’s no way I can sustain maximum hard-on with the poor puppies’ sad faces on my mind.
“Reagan,” Lexi says through the door and knocks lightly. “Can I come in now?”
I take a few steps, capturing Reagan in my arms. “No matter what happens, Reagan, I’ll never hate you.”
“Jude,” she says and frowns. “We can’t do this again. We can’t.”
“Shh.” My hand grips her neck, holding her close to me, and we stare into each other’s eyes. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to resist you.”
She closes her eyes and sighs. “You have to,” she whispers.
My lips find her mouth and I kiss her once more, conveying everything I feel inside—need, want, lust, and love. The last word instantly makes my cock wither away and almost curl back inside me.
There’s no way I can love Reagan. It isn’t the type of love that has me ready to drop down on one knee, but I know I’m not ready to say good-bye to her either.
When the kiss ends and she pulls away, she says, “Good-bye, Jude.”
“Until next time,” I tell her because I don’t think I can say good-bye to her.
I step backward and collect myself before giving Reagan one last smile, memorizing her slightly disheveled look and loving that I caused it. When I open the door, Lexi’s practically pressed up against it.
She doesn’t speak, just purses her lips and narrows her eyes before pushing past me and slamming the door just after I clear the doorway.
That went better than expected.
Chapter 16
I should still be furious at myself over my disastrous debate performance. Nor
mally, I’d be seething and staring daggers at anyone who even tried to talk to me during the bus ride to the hotel.
But instead, I’m feeling warm and achy. Jude came looking for me when he knew I was upset. He risked getting caught so he could kiss away the hurt and coax himself back into my good graces with his strong, capable hands.
It’s not just the feel of him still resonating within me but also his words.
“Then we can be together.”
He wants me to drop out of the race so we can have more than a few stolen, guilt-ridden kisses. Or does he? Maybe Jude is playing me hard—trying to make me fall for him so I’ll drop out and he can coast on to his Senate seat.
That make-out session in my dressing room felt real to me. His heat and his words were laced with the same passion I feel for him. But a voice of doubt still nags in my head.
Why would he want to commit to me when he could have any woman he wants? He doesn’t have to settle down with a woman who busts his balls at every turn—he could have someone who fawns over his every word. Someone who lives to deep throat him while he laces his fingers through her hair and groans with pleasure.
Stop it, Reagan.
I’m tingling with warmth at just the thought. Jude has made me into a parody of myself. I’ve always been strong and decisive. Every man I’ve ever dated has known from Day One that I expected a 50/50 relationship in every way.
But Jude Titan—my supposed nemesis—makes me fantasize about being on my knees before him, eyes big and lips sealed as I wait for him to slowly unzip his pants and give me what I crave.
And I crave it so badly. I told Lexi I need a room to myself tonight at the hotel, and she didn’t even blink, probably thinking I was in one of my moods after my shitty debate showing. But it’s actually because I need to satisfy the clawing need I’m feeling for Jude. It’ll be my hand between my legs in bed tonight, but I’ll be imagining it’s his.
“I know, baby.”
The memory of his deep voice saying those words in such a heartfelt tone, his brow furrowed with concern, makes me lick my lips and take a slow breath in and out. It’s like Jude sparked a fire in me, and try as I might, I can’t put it out.
“I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to resist you.”
He feels it, too. This deep, maddening connection that defies good sense and reason. I’m not the only one who worked hard to get where I am. Jude has worked his ass off and even risked his life to get himself where he is. It’s never easy to be a contender for a Senate seat, but at our young ages, it’s even harder.
Jude wakes up something in me I didn’t even know was there. I actually like that he challenges me and isn’t intimidated by me in the least. It’s brutal, feeling this way about someone and only sneaking in an occasional moment to be honest about it.
We aren’t sneaking it past everyone anymore, though. I meet Lexi’s eyes across the bus and send her a silent question. She takes out her phone, and a few seconds later, a text pops up on my screen.
Lexi: Are we going to talk about this?
Me: Is my campaign manager or my friend asking?
Lexi: Both.
Me: I already know I’m being stupid and careless.
Lexi: I’d never scold you. I love you and respect you. I just don’t want to see you hurt.
Me: I know. It means everything to me that you have my back.
Lexi: He’s got it bad for you. I could see it in his eyes when he came looking for you.
My heart somersaults in my chest as I read her words. When I look up at her, she’s rolling her eyes.
Lexi: You’ve got it bad too, I see. Why didn’t you tell me?
Me: I’m sorry. I knew how stupid I was being, and that’s a hard thing to confess.
Lexi: Do you think your feelings for him affected your debate performance tonight?
I sigh deeply and sit back against the padded bus seat. Ouch. I hadn’t even considered that, but she makes a good point. Jude clouds my judgment, so I’m sure I wasn’t as sharp as I could have been tonight. I’m still considering her text when my phone buzzes with another text.
Jude: I can smell you all over me, and it’s making me fucking crazy.
I force myself not to smile, knowing Lexi is watching.
Me: My lips still sting from the way your facial hair scraped them.
Jude: Just imagine that sting on your inner thighs…
Me: You mean from me sitting on your face?
Jude: Fuck. I’m dead.
The next message that pops up isn’t from Jude.
Lexi: You guys are picking up where u left off. I can see it on your face.
Me: Guilty.
When I meet her eyes across the bus, she’s smiling.
Jude: Tell me you’ll see me again. Say it.
Me: You make it impossible not to.
I’m about to set my phone down and get a bottle of water when it starts ringing. It’s easy to forget my phone actually does the phone call thing sometimes. The name on the screen makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up.
Dad.
Shit. Might as well face the music.
“Hey, Dad.”
“Are you still doing interviews?”
“No, I’m done.”
He scoffs. “Because no one wants to talk to the loser.”
“Did you just call me a loser?”
“You lost that debate, Reagan,” he says sharply. “You went down in spectacular flames.”
I close my eyes and remind myself fighting with him won’t help anything. “It definitely wasn’t my best night.”
“Your poll numbers were starting to slip before tonight.”
“I’m still leading,” I remind him.
“Not for long. Not after that disaster.”
I sigh with exasperation. “What do you want me to say? I sucked, and I know it. All I can do is work harder tomorrow.”
“I called in a favor from Tom.”
I narrow my eyes. “Tom Harbor?”
“No, Tom Cruise,” he says with sarcasm. “Of course, Tom Harbor. He’s the only one who can save you at this point.”
“I don’t want him on my campaign.”
“Too late, Reagan. It’s that or lose, and you need to win this race.”
“I need to, or you need me to?”
Another scoff. “Yes, I’ll admit that after all my undefeated Senate elections, it will be a major embarrassment to me if my own daughter can’t pull this off. I’m leaving with record-high approval ratings.”
“That’s you, Dad. I’m me. Jude Titan is no lightweight opponent.”
“He has weaknesses. Everyone does. Just watch Tom in action, and you’ll see.”
I blow out an exasperated breath.
“Reagan, trust me,” my father says. “I know how to help you. I’ve been there.”
I can’t argue with that. He has. And since I won’t tell him why I’m so opposed to Tom joining my campaign, I know he believes this will help.
Hell, maybe it will. I’m certainly not killing it without Tom on board.
“Okay,” I say, sounding as weary as I feel. The pre-debate adrenaline high has come crashing down.
“Tom will join you in Chicago tomorrow.”
“He can just work from the Chicago office,” I say.
“No, he’ll be on the trail with you.”
I shake my head and close my eyes. Why even bother? My dad doesn’t see me as capable of anything. And after tonight, my confidence in my ability to win this election on my own is shaken.
“Fine. Have him text Lexi about it.”
“We can still pull this together, Reagan. I have a lead on a soldier who served with Titan who may be willing to discredit him.”
I lower my brows skeptically. “That can’t be legit.”
“Just leave it to me, okay?”
“I’m not lying to win. I won’t let anyone lie to help me, either. It’s a deal-breaker.”
“Tom will infuse your campaign with a new a
pproach,” Dad says, dismissing me. “Get some rest, and we’ll talk soon.”
The line goes dead, and I exhale deeply. Lexi is giving me a sympathetic look.
“Tom?” she asks, already knowing the answer.
I just nod.
“We can handle him,” she says. “Don’t worry, okay?”
She walks over to the fridge and digs to the back, taking out a bottle of champagne. I break into a fit of laughter.
“To celebrate the debate win?” I say with a small snort.
She shrugs. “Or to commiserate. The beauty of booze is that it works both ways.”
“Definitely commiserating.”
Lexi opens the bottle and pours a red Solo cup for everyone onboard the bus but our driver.
“To fightin’ Titan tomorrow,” my speechwriter, Shawn, says with a wink.
We clink our plastic cups together and down the sweet peach champagne. Lexi digs out another bottle, and by the time we get to our hotel for the night, we’ve knocked both of them out and the mood on the bus is lighter.
Lexi hugs me in the elevator on the way up to the eighth floor, where our rooms are.
“Take a nice hot bubble bath and watch some trash TV,” she says. “Tomorrow’s a new day.”
“Thanks. I love you.”
“Love you, too.”
The elevator doors open, and I find my room, tossing my bag on a chair and kicking off my heels as soon as I walk in.
Lexi’s suggestion of a bubble bath sounds nice. I dig through my bag and find a bath melt. The bathtub in my room is small but extra deep. I undress and run the water until it’s filled with steam and bubbles.
Sinking into the tub feels like heaven. I’m still pleasantly buzzed from the champagne, and my worries feel far, far away. I scroll through news sites on my phone, avoiding coverage of the debate.
I look up Jude’s website and see a photo of him in his military dress uniform. His somber expression touches something deep inside me. He didn’t have to put his life on the line for his country; he chose to. I think back to his friend’s letter, and tears pool in my eyes. I can’t imagine what they went through. Even those who came home will always carry a heavy burden.
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