The fight with Jonathan in the orchard flashed through my mind. He had already demonstrated this, once again one step ahead in his lessons than my friends.
When Elisa opened the door, a member of the complex entered carrying two white candles.
“Perfect timing,” Fiona said, clapping her hands together once. “Please proceed, my darling.”
Setting both on my dresser, the woman turned, nodded to each of us, and left the room.
As they had done before, more came. Fifteen souls entered, all women. One right after the other, they bore two un-lit candles, placing them in different locations around the room. I watched as they reverently did their Healer’s biding, and I saw their souls flicker in and out of my memory. I knew most of them, but not as well as I needed.
My energy renewed upon seeing that they were alive and safe—here among people that loved and cared for them. But more than that, I saw their hearts and perceived the feelings that coursed through them. Curiosity. Nervousness. Awe. Intrigue at their new Defender. But mostly, hope. A picture flashed in my mind, causing me to twitch. A mirror image of myself as I lay on my bed. A strange broadcast into the sight of the young girl who watched me as she set the candle upon my bookshelf. When she left, the picture left as well.
“I can see them,” I whispered. Fiona came to my side. “I can see their souls.”
“What do you see?” she asked, speaking softly. Elisa moved closer.
“Glimpses. Some are memories of what happened in the past when I didn’t hear them, but I can sense their current feelings. Even see things through their eyes.”
Fiona patted my leg, giving Elisa a look, and walked away. I wondered at the look but was more interested in the women entering my room.
The last one was young Yvette, the gardener’s daughter. Pure delight at being allowed to help the Healer seeped from her. I smiled at the girl. She set the candle on my nightstand, knocking over the picture of my mother. She froze, her eyes growing wide as she registered her mistake. I reached out and touched her hand as she tried to upright the frame but only knocked it down again.
“Don’t worry about it. Thank you, Yvette,” I said.
With an awkward smile, she backed out of the room, ducking away from my gaze.
Fiona snagged her mid-escape, causing a screech and then a giggle from the little girl before she could flee.
As footsteps retreated down the hall, Fiona struck a match. The smell of sulfur dioxide warmed as she lit the wick of one candle. When she had finished lighting five of them, she pinched out the flame with her fingers.
“Fiona, what’s going on? You’ve already healed me,” I said, wondering why she only lit the five.
“This is not a healing; this is your first lesson,” she said with a wink and a wicked smile.
Elisa took my tray, moving it to the dresser. “And the sooner the better.” She drew dark curtains over my window, muting the sunlight, casting the room into semi-darkness. The only light was from the five lit flames. “Ava, we told you that demons seek powerful humans. You have met many here at this compound, but you’ve never asked to know what brought each of them to our sanctuary. Some are here because they had incredible strength or wealth that demons crave. Others had unbelievable genius. But that’s not all. There are mortals blessed with other talents.”
“Such as?” My heart beat an irregular cadence.
“One of them you just witnessed yourself,” Fiona said, watching me queerly. “You can see into the soul of an open heart.”
I shook my head. “That doesn’t make any sense to me.”
“You can see inside a soul. You will have to exercise the power to further develop it, but be careful. Just as not all mortals want to know what their destiny is through Elisa’s powers, not all want their souls read. A mortal must be willing to be read—an open heart. Those that entered this room must have been open to you. It seems you are a soul-study. It is rare, but you have not been the only one to have this ability.”
“Did my mother have the same—ability?”
“Yes and no.”
The muscles between my brows puckered. “What do you mean?”
Fiona cocked her head to the side. “She had visions, like you, but could only read souls if she touched them and if they were willing. Apparently, you don’t need to touch them, but that’s not unusual. Every ability is different, and everyone exhibits them in different ways.”
I nodded despite my confusion. “What other abilities can mortals have?”
“Let’s see.” Elisa gripped the edge of my dresser, leaning against it. “Some can heal like Fiona and Cedric, although none as powerfully. Some have the ability to foretell the future. Some can even read minds. Even fewer dabble in energies.”
“What are energies?” I asked, but I had a feeling I already knew the answer.
“That we will show you.” Fiona glided to the side of my bed. “There is an energy in every living thing; some contain more than others. Emotions emit energy as well. You’ve experienced this. When we entered your room, you were filled with such amazing anger and pain that you beautifully blazed with negative energy. It is visible. It is palpable.”
“I blazed?” My cheeks blazed in response.
She continued, ignoring my question. “But that kind of energy is short-lived and can only be used for one thing: destruction. You must find the opposite of those feelings that course through your body, hampering your spirit, my niece.”
Fiona picked up two candles, one lit, the other not. She handed me the unlit candle. “For example, to counter-balance my guilt, I seek the solace of my garden. It brings me peace.” She eyed the small fire while her fingertips toyed with the flame. “Whether I go there in physical form or in my mind, each bloom calms my spirit and sets my soul at ease because I pleasure in life.”
She closed her eyes, a smile igniting her features until a white glow emanated from her face. Despite her calm my insides quaked.
She began to whisper, her voice growing louder with every word. “It soothes my weary heart and my burdened soul. While there, I can breathe in nature. I dance, I sing, I play. I joy in living!” Fiona flicked her fingers. Her eyes flashed open… and my candlewick came to life.
“What the—” My heart seized and I almost threw the newly lit candle across my bed.
With a wave of her hand, a rush of energy flew through the space, picking up strands of my hair, lighting the rest of the candles. A beautiful glow settled upon the room, bringing an instant warmth to the air. Despite that warmth, I shivered. Climbing from my bed, I slowly spun in a circle, seeing each flame as it cast a moving shadow upon the walls and my mother’s painted vines.
Fiona only smiled. “What brings you joy, Ava?”
“How did you do that?” I asked, my voice less than a whisper. My heartbeat fluttered with growing excitement.
She merely shrugged. “I directed my energy in a constructive way.”
Every candle was lit. Every last one held a flame. I looked down at the fire I still grasped and slowly hovered my hand over the wick to ensure it was real. My palm burned in response.
Elisa pulled my hand away. “Do you remember me telling you how to properly kill a demon?” she asked.
“Yes,” I muttered, still watching the flame. “Your energy and power directed through something attached to you—in my case, a knife.”
“Anything deadly, really, but do you also remember me telling you that some can keep their power connected to the weapon once it leaves their hand?” I only nodded. “Well, Fiona can do just that.”
Fiona interrupted. “During a battle it is useful, but there can be so much emotion expended that if I’m not careful it can wipe me out almost completely. What you saw now is an extension of that, but in this controlled environment it is easier for me. It takes a lot of mental focus and energy, and it is hard to do when you are hampered down by anger or guilt. Believe me, I would know.”
“What guilt do you have?” I asked, doubtful
hers could rival my own.
“There was a time I was more open with my abilities. I grew arrogant about them, in fact, and had quite the following. I became a leader, emulated by powerful women across the world. Cedric warned me, but I didn’t listen. Because of my misplaced vanity and improper judgement, I am responsible for the deaths of thousands of women who sought to live the life I portrayed. To follow my example.”
My head twitched as I considered her words. “Are you talking about witches?”
I laughed despite the serious calm of her face, but controlled myself when her lips tightened into a thin line. “I’m sorry, Fiona, but I was taught there’s no such thing as a witch.”
“Of course your father would teach you that, but you were taught wrong. You are looking right at one, my darling niece. I am the very first white witch ever created.”
I internally groaned. Why had my father lied to me?
“There are several at the compound right now, including our favorite chef, Madelyn,” Elisa said.
“Are you joking?” But when Elisa shook her head, the blood drained from my face. “A white witch?”
Fiona nodded. “A white witch—a good witch—a healer. Some witches are blessed to be healers and seers, a powerful combination for the good of humanity. But there must be opposition in all things. When humans would see my power, some were afraid, but others wanted to emulate it. Both the good and the bad. And now so many are dead.”
“But you couldn’t have foreseen what would happen,” I said, trying to console her.
Fiona closed her eyes, turning to my room.
Elisa grabbed me by the arm and pulled me toward the window, away from Fiona.
“And that’s where you’re wrong, darling. I knew. I knew what I was doing.” She took a deep breath. “I wanted those with my ability to harness their power, to be able to use it for good. To help those I couldn’t get to quick enough.”
Starting as a faint pinkish hue, the color that enveloped her body began to darken, emanating from Fiona’s soul. It pulsed like the rhythm of a heartbeat.
“I knew there would be scum that would seek it. Knew there would be those who sought the power for their own evil purposes. I just couldn’t comprehend how horrible it would become. How truly evil it would grow to be. How disgusting. How vile.”
She groaned, threading her fingers into her hair, and her aura burned crimson. “There are times when such anger over my decisions courses through my veins that I can barely stand it.”
She shook her head as if fighting some internal foe that waged a battle inside her, and then she screamed.
“So many killed! So many hung! So many burnt!” She shrieked a final breath. Releasing her hair, she threw her hand in front of her, liberating her power.
My curtains blew open. Candles flew through the air, crashing into the opposite wall. They dropped to the ground with a thud, their brilliant flames extinguished. My bed jerked to the side at a crooked angle, nearly crashing into the wall next to it. When it was over, only a single candle remained standing on my dresser.
Fiona regarded it with repulsion. With an ugly snarl, she sent it spiraling toward the window. I flinched, intending to jump out of the way, but Elisa snatched the candle from the air.
She shook her hand as if the force pained her. “Dang it, Fiona. We just installed that new window.”
Fiona took a stance beside us. She looked out into the courtyard, taking deep breaths, watching as someone raked over the sand in the pit.
Wide-eyed, I stared. I was unsure whether I should be standing so close, but after a few seconds, the red shade of her soul dissipated and finally disappeared.
“My mistake follows me still. We come across them from time to time, and every once in a while, I’m called to rein in a dark witch. Or to kill her.” She rolled her neck, kneading the muscles that vexed her. “I stay in the shadows now. I am humbler because of my mistakes and my foolish weaknesses.” She peered at me. “That is why my garden is so important to me.”
I nodded, uncertain what my proper response should be.
Elisa cleared her throat. “Fiona?”
Fiona hummed her response.
“The room,” Elisa said.
Together we looked over the mess of the space. Candles littered the floor. Residual smoke from the extinguished flames hung lightly in the air.
A soft chuckle bubbled from Fiona’s lips. “Oh yes.” And with the wave of her hand the candles flew to their original places, including the one Elisa held. Wicks bloomed into a warm light, dancing merrily. I inhaled sharply as my bed moved—shifted back with a pathetic groan.
“You see?” Fiona said, eyeing my reaction. “We must find what brings you peace and harness it.”
“But what if I don’t know what brings me peace?” I asked. I stared hard at a candle, glaring at it in an effort to extinguish it. My stomach muscles bunched and I grunted but was unable to do what Fiona had done… for the time being.
“Don’t give yourself a hernia,” Elisa said, patting me on the back. “What brings me peace is my love for Laith. It fills me with power. My connection to him is the reason I continue to breathe even though all my children have stopped. I mourn their loss.
“My demons are a reminder of my failure as a mom to protect them—to keep them from harm. Laith helps me by celebrating their lives. When you came to celebrate my birthday a couple of months ago, that was not my birthday. It’s was Juliette’s. We celebrate them all. Remembering them. Loving them.”
Fiona placed a hand on Elisa’s shoulder. “I’m sorry I missed it.”
Elisa smiled at her sister then addressed me. “What was your dream about last night that brought on such pain, Ava? Maybe we can find a way to reverse the effects. What brought on this… this episode?”
I looked away, not wanting her to see my cheeks flushed. “It was just a strange dream. When I woke up, Darius was concerned but I didn’t want to tell him the truth, so I lied and said it was like the old nightmares I used to have.”
And now that I thought about it, my dream with Jonathan was minimal in comparison to the truth I discovered about my—my visions. Resigned, I took a deep breath. “I kissed my personal demon last night.”
Elisa’s mouth dropped open.
Fiona cocked her head to the side as she considered me. “Do you mean an actual demon?”
“Yes, my personal demon.”
Elisa’s head jerked, her brows peaked. “You physically kissed a demon?” she asked, her words slow and clearly enunciated.
“No, not physically, in the sense of reality.” I shook my head, realizing how confusing that sounded, even to me.
Fiona cleared her throat. “Can you clarify this for me, my niece?”
“In my dream last night. You said you have personal demons? Well, so do I. His name is Jonathan. He kind of… kissed me, and I may have kissed him back.”
“You may have? Shouldn’t you know?” Fiona’s expression remained cool.
Elisa’s face, however, turned color. “Wait, Jonathan? The Fallen from the forest? The one we fought against?”
I swallowed hard. “Yes.”
“Holy shit.”
I jerked back in surprise, never having heard her curse before.
“I don’t understand,” I said. “What’s the big deal? You both just said you had personal demons.”
Shocked, Elisa shook her head. “There’s a difference! We… we don’t…” She stuttered, seemingly lost for words.
Fiona hummed. “Ava, the personal demons we refer to, we refer to in the generic sense. To us, they are faceless entities that come to torture us through haunting memories. They remind us of our past failures. They keep us—humble, if you will. But they never have faces and they never become more than that.”
“Why do you call him your Personal Demon?” Elisa finally managed.
I shrugged. “Because that’s what he called himself.”
I’m yours—your personal demon, Jonathan had said.
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So much had happened since then. We had become closer. Had I let him get too close? I shook my head to expel the memory.
“I don’t really see why it’s such a big deal.”
“Seriously?” Elisa’s eyes grew large. “Ava, the Fallen generally only choose a human if they want to take over their shell once they’ve destroyed the soul.”
“But you know that’s not the case with all of them,” Fiona chimed, giving Elisa a knowing look. “There was another who had something similar to Ava’s experience.”
“Fiona,” Elisa warned, but the Healer raised a brow at her Herald.
“Isn’t this a little too coincidental to be overlooked?” she asked.
“What is?” I could feel my cheeks flush, frustrated that my friends would even think of keeping me in the dark again.
Fiona looked away from Elisa, fixing her gaze on me. “Your mother had a personal demon as well. You already know this and have met her. Violet. But what you don’t know is that you and your mother are the only ones that can claim to have a personal demon, and even more than that, a personal demon who is one of the Fallen.”
My breath cinched in my lungs.
“Your mother told us about Violet around the time of her first mate’s disappearance.”
“Nikolaos,” I said. My mother’s first Guardian. Fiona only nodded. “What happened that caused Nikolaos to leave?”
Elisa huffed. “One of the traits of the Defender is that she becomes fixated, obsessed, on one thing and one thing only: the mortals she is sent to save. To her, those human souls sets precedence over everything. Even over self.
“On the other hand, the Guardian’s job is to protect the Defender, and to do so involves keeping those around her from coming into close proximity.”
A flash of a memory triggered, Laith standing guard over Elisa as she told me my destiny. I wondered if that went for the males of the Heralds and the Healers as well.
Fiona nodded. “As you can imagine, this can become taxing when the one you love willingly throws themselves into danger without a thought or care. Nikolaos became frustrated. Like Elisa, he had a gift of foreseeing the future, which—”
Personal Guardians: Book 2 in the Personal Demons Series Page 20
