He couldn’t help feeling she’d stopped short of saying it was all she had. “You don’t need to justify your existence.”
“Yes, I—” She stopped, then clasped her hands so tightly her knuckles turned white. “How did you know that?”
“I minored in psych in college. I needed to balance the math classes.” His father—Tom, he mentally corrected—had suggested that. “You’re a vital, valuable woman. Period.”
She twisted her fingers together. “Intellectually I know you’re right. But in my heart, I need to do something worthwhile. Maybe pro bono work, legal aid. Help people who can’t afford counsel. I’m on the fast track at the firm. The higher I go, the more I can do.”
“What does that have to do with representing me?”
“We can’t go back to the way things were before—” she stopped and briefly met his gaze “—that night. And we can’t go forward with a personal association. Neither of us wants that. You’re a confirmed bachelor.”
“Is that so?” Why did her assessment yank his chain?
“Of course. If you had wanted to settle down, you’d have done it by now. And I’m committed to my career and the power that success can give me. That cancels out moving forward.”
“I still don’t see what that has to do with handling the details of my late father’s estate.”
“You refuse to see. If I take care of your file, we would be working together. A lot. I can’t take the chance that our business dealings could take a personal turn and jeopardize my job. I told you once before that at the very least it’s the suggestion of impropriety.”
“You make a good case. And you’re right. I choose not to see. Because you’re a talented and gifted attorney. Two reasons why I need you to help me.”
“What’s the third?”
He waited to answer, long enough to let her gaze swing to his and lock there. “Good or bad, you know who your parents are. I never had the opportunity to meet my biological father, let alone get to know him. Now I never will. I won’t have the chance to like or dislike him. To try to be different—or the same.”
“To win his love?” she asked gently.
His gaze shot to hers, and he was relieved there was no pity in it. Nothing but gentleness. Sweetness. He could wrap himself in her softness if only she would let him. But he knew her reference to love was about herself and her ongoing battle with parents who didn’t show it. Or as she believed, just didn’t feel it. He wanted to throttle them. She would be so easy to love. He’d been drawn to her two years ago, the first time they met. Something about her still pulled him now. But emotionally, he had nothing to give her.
“This isn’t about love, Maddie. It’s about finding out who I am. I’ve lost my family. I don’t have any of the people I used to have. My support system is gone. I don’t even have the opportunity to confront the guy who is half responsible for the hell I’m living. You are the only constant in my life.”
“Luke, that’s not true. You have—”
“It feels true. It’s as true as you believing you have to validate your existence. You’re the only one I have left. I’m asking you to help me with this.”
She stood and walked to the sliding glass doors, staring at the lights of the valley for a long time. Her shoulders slumped, and finally she turned. “I have one condition.”
“Anything.”
“It has to be strictly business. I mean it, Luke. Nothing personal. At all. We can’t do wh-what we did. Never again. Lawyer, client. End of story.”
“Okay.”
“I mean it. I want your word.”
“If I had a Bible, I would swear on it.”
“I can’t do this,” she said, shaking her head. “You’re making a joke out of it.” She started for the front door.
He intercepted her easily and stopped her with his hands on her shoulders. Gently he tightened his grip until she lifted her gaze to his.
“Maddie, if I don’t joke I’m going to crack into a million pieces. Humor is keeping me sane. And you’re the one person I can count on for what I need—humor, teasing, and most important of all—the truth. Cut me some slack, okay? I don’t want anything personal any more than you do. My life is a shambles. Do you think I have room for a relationship? You have my word that there will be nothing between us but business.”
“Okay.” She nodded. “And you have my word that I’ll handle this matter to the best of my ability. With integrity, discretion and honesty.”
Chapter Four
“Let’s finish dinner,” Luke suggested, “Now that everything is settled.”
Not by a long shot, Madison thought.
He’d just said he didn’t have room for a personal relationship. He’d also said his life was a shambles and he didn’t want kids. Now was not the time to tell him he was going to be a father. She couldn’t do it. Not yet.
Just agreeing to handle his father’s will was a major step. Was it emotional suicide? How often would she have to see him? How many meetings would it take to discharge all the details of his father’s estate? Could she muster enough willpower to keep from throwing herself into his arms? At what point did she tell him that she was going to have his baby?
She studied him. He looked more relaxed than when she’d first arrived. Amused and more lighthearted which made her very happy. Imagine that.
The creases bracketing his nose and mouth had resumed their function as dimples. He’d focused his intensity on her, and what she saw in his expression made her knees as weak as an unsuccessful batch of meringue.
He was almost smiling. And why not? He’d gotten his way. His blue eyes sparkled with humor again. God help her, she couldn’t bring herself to pull the rug out from under him with the news about the baby. Not just yet. After the will reading was behind them she would tell him for sure.
With his knuckle, he gently raised her chin. “Where are you? Earth to Maddie?”
She’d asked him to call her Madison and she couldn’t remember a single time that he had. Luke was a rule breaker. That didn’t bode well for his promise to keep their relationship strictly business.
“Yo, Counselor.”
She shook her head to clear it. “Sorry. What did you say?”
“Let’s finish dinner. After all, you were the one craving Chinese food.”
Her cheeks grew warm. What in the world had made her use that exact word—craving? Even though it had been the truth. “Okay.”
“You hardly ate anything. Is something wrong?”
“No.” Technically that was true. In spite of the circumstances, and contrary to normal rational thought processes, she was happy about the baby. She had an appointment with an obstetrician. But according to the books she’d read, feeling as if she had a chronic case of the flu was normal. Suddenly the thought of food was about as appealing as having all four wisdom teeth pulled. And how did she keep that to herself with the full force of his head-turning masculine attention focused on her?
Luke frowned at her. “Are you sure you’re all right? In spite of the fact that I’m self-absorbed, I have noticed that you look a little pale lately. Or, to quote a recent statement from someone I respect very much, you look awful.”
“Thank you,” she said. So much for pregnancy making her beautiful and suffusing her with that special glow. “It’s just female stuff. Trust me, you don’t want to know.”
That was all true. He wouldn’t want to know, because he didn’t want kids.
They walked back into the kitchen and he held her chair while she sat. “You’re quite the gentleman.”
He sat down beside her and his eyes darkened. “My father—I mean Tom—drilled it into Nick, Joe, Alex and me. My brothers—half brothers,” he amended.
“Which half?”
“What?” He slid her an odd look.
“Which half is still your brother?” she picked up a fortune cookie. “The head? Hands? Feet? Shoulders? Hair?”
“That’s ridiculous.”
“Exactly.
They’re not your brothers in fractions. I know them. They don’t do things by halves. It’s all or nothing. You, too, by the way.”
He ignored that and went on. “We learned to always open the door for a lady, hold her chair, carry packages. Why didn’t I ever notice that I was different?”
“In what way?”
“Besides the eyes, there were personality differences.”
“Such as?”
“Off the top of my head, the whole confirmed-bachelor thing.”
“What are you talking about?”
“We always joked about it. But the truth is, unlike me, Nick, Joe and Alex were looking. They had relationships before finding their respective wives. Nick with the waitress when the business branched out into Phoenix and he opened the first restaurant there. He secretly married her when he found out she was pregnant by another man. Then she went back to her baby’s father and had it annulled.”
She nodded. “I heard about that. And Alex lost his college sweetheart, then figured he’d had his one and only chance at love.”
“And he wouldn’t get another.”
“Until Fran,” she reminded him.
“Right. And I found out Joe was looking but afraid to take a chance on love because as a little kid he remembered seeing Mom cry. When she and Tom were having problems. Which is when I came into the picture,” he added. “But Joe watched his friends’ marriages fall apart, and that kept him from committing to a woman.”
“Until Liz,” she commented.
“True. But unlike my brothers who walked the walk, the talk they talked was macho doublespeak. I think I really am a confirmed bachelor. I’ve never met a woman who made me want to take the next step.” He met her gaze, and the intense look in his eyes made her hot all over.
Was he trying to tell her something? That she shouldn’t expect a commitment from him?
“I’m different from them, Maddie. Maybe I’m not capable of committing to a woman. Obviously the Marchetti men are. Not to mention my sister, Rosie, who fell in love with Steve Schafer when they were practically kids. But I’m not like them because I’m not one of them.”
“Does the phrase product of your environment mean anything to you?”
“Of course.”
“You were raised the same as your brothers and sister. Your father pounded the gentlemanly arts into you along with love, commitment and family values. No matter what problems occurred in your parents’ marriage, they got past them and have been a devoted couple ever since. Your brothers picked up on that and when they found the right woman it was magic. It will happen with you, too.”
Although she couldn’t say the same for herself. Even if she could fall in love, the road for her and Luke had too many speed bumps to overcome. A detour around each other was the smart way to go.
He didn’t look at all convinced. “I don’t think so. It could be a chemistry thing. Something I inherited from my father, an inability to fall in love and commit.”
“I still put my money on environment.”
She should know. She was a product of cold surroundings where showing emotion just wasn’t done. And that was before boarding school, where people were paid to care for her because it was their job. Madison knew love wasn’t in her past or future because she didn’t know how. Although she was beginning to feel a stirring of it for her baby and suspected the sensation would only get stronger. But that was entirely different from the man-woman kind of feelings.
“Tom and Flo love each other,” she said. “And they love their kids. You can’t grow up with that and not learn how to do it.”
“I did.”
“You’re choosing to ignore the feelings.”
“Can we change the subject?” he asked, rubbing a hand across the back of his neck.
“Okay.”
That suited her just fine. Love was the last thing she wanted to discuss. Especially with the only man who had ever swept her away. The only one who had successfully made her lose control. She suspected he could do it again with very little trouble. How? Why? What made him different from the other guys who had tried?
“What do you want to talk about?” He scooped up a forkful of beef and broccoli.
“How’s work? What’s going on at Marchetti’s Incorporated?” she asked, grabbing the most innocuous subject she could think of. But when a shadow crossed his face, she knew she’d struck a nerve somehow.
“I haven’t been to the office since finding out the truth.”
“Luke! You’re joking.”
He shook his head. “I’m not sure I’ll ever go back.”
A good lawyer learned when to speak and when to listen. A good lawyer maintained objectivity in order to advise a client. In her heart she believed it would be a mistake for him to turn his back on the business. At the same time, if he did, she would need to counsel him in negotiating a severance, stock options earned during his years with the company and other benefits that he had accrued.
Madison worked hard at being a good attorney and took her responsibility to her clients very seriously. But at the moment she wished for the world’s biggest roll of duct tape to keep from asking if he was crazy.
Instead she asked, “Why?” Then she bit the corner of her lip to keep any more words from coming out of her mouth.
“I can’t believe you’re even asking me that. Isn’t it obvious?”
“Not to me. You’re CFO of the company. Based on the success of the business, I’m guessing you do a pretty fair job.”
“Careful. Flattery like that will turn my head.”
“Your head is too big to turn anymore,” she said with a fleeting grin. “Your family expects you to show up for work. Why would anything change for them?”
“Because I’m not Tom Marchetti’s son.”
“So after thirty years they’re going to stop loving you because your DNA isn’t what they thought? And you can stop loving them?”
“This is a big deal, Maddie. Why do you refuse to see it?” There was a desperation in his voice that tore at her heart.
She had to touch him. Bracing herself for the inevitable heat, she put her hand on his forearm. But she wasn’t prepared for him to remove her hand, then place it in his palm and intertwine their fingers. The warmth swept up her arm and settled in her chest, making her breasts swell. Her brain seemed to overheat and shut down. She couldn’t seem to get enough air into her lungs.
She took a deep breath to counteract oxygen deprivation. “I…I know it’s a big deal. I’m not trying to minimize the magnitude of this. But sometimes it takes someone sort of removed to be objective. In the prim, proper, appearance-is-the-only-thing Wainright family, this would be a big deal. But not yours. Nothing is going to change the fact that they love you.”
“They love who they thought I was.”
“You’re not Jekyll and Hyde. You’re still the same man you were before you found out. You’re still the same son and brother that they love.” She put her other hand over their joined fingers. “God help me for crossing this line but I’m going to say it, anyway. You would be crazy to turn your back on the people who love you and leave such a successful business.”
“Family business.” He pulled his hand from hers and ran his fingers through his hair. “And I’m not part of the family. I know you’re not into fractions, but being half a family member isn’t good enough.”
She picked up a piece of her fortune cookie and put it in her mouth. Slowly she chewed, hoping it would act like the crackers that the books said would settle her stomach.
“Luke, I’ve probably already said too much—”
He shook his head. “I count on you to tell me the truth even when I don’t want to hear it. Why do you think I fought so hard to convince you to be my attorney?”
Would he change his mind if he knew she was carrying his baby and hadn’t told him right away?
“What were you going to say?” he asked, placing her hand between his own.
“Why are you so sure th
ey’re going to write you off? If any of the others was going through this, would you turn your back?”
“No, but I’m not turning my back on them, just pulling myself out of the business.”
She realized he was backing off for himself, to deal with it. If he let the family go, it might not hurt so much in the event they did reject him.
She could play his game. “I think you’re going to have an uphill battle convincing the Marchettis that you’re not a member of the family.”
“You’re wrong, Maddie. They’ll be relieved if I just disappear.”
“Want to bet?”
One corner of his mouth turned up, chasing away his dark expression. “Sure. If I can name the stakes.”
His eyes took on a challenging, sexy expression. She knew that look. She’d seen it once before, the moment before he’d kissed her senseless and had taken her with him on an unforgettable journey of passion. She couldn’t take that trip with him again.
“Don’t go there, Luke. Remember I said this is strictly business.” She tried to pull her hand away.
He held it gently but firmly. “You started it. Besides, who says the stakes have to be personal? Twenty bucks says the Marchettis will breathe a sigh of relief when I walk away.”
“You’re on,” she said. “When do you want to schedule a reading of the will?” Her stomach clenched. She knew once that was over she would have to tell him her news.
“Day after tomorrow?”
So soon? she thought. But she nodded. “That will give me a day to familiarize myself with the file.”
“Put me on your calendar. I’ll look forward to seeing you then, Maddie.”
She let out a long breath. If only it would be long enough to help her find the right words to tell him what she needed to.
“Luke Marchetti is here to see you.”
Madison pressed the intercom button. “Send him in.”
Several moments later her office door opened. In strode Luke. His casual attire instantly told her he hadn’t changed his mind about going back to work. The jeans molded to his lean hips and muscular thighs in a supremely masculine way. She remembered him saying that she could sway judge, jury and opposing counsel if she wore jeans to court. The delicious memory, along with the even more delicious man in front of her made her heart beat like the wings of a frightened bird. He could have her in the palm of his hand with a flash of his dimples and she would do everything in her power to keep him from knowing that.
The Last Marchetti Bachelor Page 5
