“I’m not leaving her safety or yours to chance.”
She let out a long sigh. “You’re saying you’re still my bodyguard?”
“Yep.” He spoke in an intimate tone that was way too sensual. Leaning closer, until she could practically feel the heat radiating from him, he brushed a curl of hair from her cheek. Their eyes locked, and he caressed the curve of her ear.
She told herself to slap his hand away, to start the car and drive. But she couldn’t seem to make her limbs move. It was as if his gaze had frozen her hands to the steering wheel.
She trembled, and he was sitting too close not to notice.
“Are you afraid of me?” he asked.
“No.” But she was lying. She didn’t want to respond to Zack. She didn’t want to think about his kissing her. Even when her life had been in danger, the blood had roared in her ears and her response troubled her as much as it stimulated her every sense. With Zack around, she was too alive, too aware. Of him. She smelled his male scent mixing with the leather car seat and it intoxicated her. Sure she was drunk, drunk on his charm. Damn the man, he acted as if he knew exactly how much she wanted his mouth on hers again—only for longer. As far as she was concerned, their last kiss was nothing more than a teaser.
He chuckled. “So if I kiss you, you won’t run away?”
“I’ve never run away.” She angled her chin, proud her tone sounded mocking. “You’re the one who left for California.” Her words ruined the mood. Tension spiraled into silence. When he said nothing, she turned the conversation back to business. “How much longer will you stay?”
“Until you don’t need me anymore.” He sounded far from pleased by the idea.
“Thanks for being so specific,” she snapped, thoroughly irritated with him but a bit more pleased than she’d have liked that she didn’t have to say goodbye just yet.
Besides, she was too tired to argue with him and herself too. “I should call Dana and let her know—”
“The only phone call we’re making is to the security company. You drive. I’ll make the call, and make damn certain we don’t pick up a tail.”
“We’ll have to drive back tomorrow for the funeral.” She kept trying to give him an out. He didn’t take it.
“At this time of night, there shouldn’t be any traffic. The sooner we leave, the sooner we’ll get there.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
“MOM DOESN’T know you’re Gabrielle’s father,” Mandy reminded Zack as she parked the car at Catherine’s beach house, her stomach in knots, “and for now we should keep it that way.”
Another man might have been insulted. Zack chuckled as he opened her car door. “I’ll follow your lead.”
Mandy sighed, both looking forward to him seeing Gabby and dreading it. “Just remember that Mom’s not going to be thrilled when I show up in the middle of the night with my bodyguard.”
“I’m guessing she’ll be happy to see you. She’s probably been worried.”
“Mom is the queen of worriers. But she doesn’t like surprises.”
She stepped out of the car, and the salt tang of the Gulf of Mexico carried across the beach, the sea breeze tangling her hair. She couldn’t wait to kick off her shoes and dig her toes into the sand, but even more she wanted to see Gabby.
Yet, she held back. Zack was going to finally meet Gabrielle. Her nerves kicked in and as much as she wanted to go inside, she wondered if bringing Zack here was a mistake. Once he’d seen her, how could he not love her?
Overwhelmed, confused, she stalled to get a grip on her emotions, reminding herself that Zack was too damn good at his job to ever give it up. He’d probably leave, and life would go on—like always. Was that what she wanted?
Or life might change drastically. Mandy gulped. For so long she’d wished for this moment, and now that it had arrived, she wondered if it would be a disaster.
The beach house stayed dark, but the outside lights suddenly came on. Zack’s expression turned wary in the space of a heartbeat.
Mandy frowned. “Mom’s a heavy sleeper. There’s no way she could have heard us way out here. The motion detectors must have picked us up.”
Mandy used the key Dana had given her to open the front door. Outside lights lit the foyer, and she headed down the hallway to the master bedroom, leaving Zack behind. “Let me tell Mom we’re here. I’ll be right back.”
Mandy walked into the elegant master bedroom without her mother waking. She didn’t bother turning on a lamp to approach the canopied bed. Placing a hand on her mother’s shoulder, she gently shook her. “Mom. It’s Mandy.”
Hair in pink curlers and wearing a bright green and purple flowered nightgown, her mother turned over, her voice full of sleep, her eyes still closed. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I’m just letting you know I’m here with my bodyguard. We’ll see you in the morning. Go back to sleep.”
“Okay.” Without opening her eyes, her mother rolled back over. Mandy pulled up the blanket to her shoulders and hoped her mother would remember their conversation in the morning.
She left the room, shutting the door behind her and almost bumped into Zack in the hallway. He reached out to steady her, his fingers warm, his touch gentle. “Sorry. I didn’t want to let you get too far away.”
“Zack, there are extra blankets and a pillow for the couch in the hall closet. I’ll take the guest bedroom.”
His tone was whispery soft in her ear. “I’d like to see Gabby.”
“She’s sleeping, and while both she and Mom are heavy sleepers, if we do happen to wake Gabby, she’ll be excited to see me and won’t go back to sleep for hours. You can wait until morning, can’t you?”
“All right. But I’m too keyed up to sleep,” he muttered. “How about a walk?”
A moonlit walk. On the beach. His invitation tempted her. What could be more romantic than Zack, darkness, and lapping waves? Her pulse escalated. She shouldn’t. “You go ahead.”
He shook his head. “I’m not leaving you alone. We both go. Or we both stay. I understand if you’re tired. It’s been a long day.”
Mandy should have been exhausted, but she wasn’t. She doubted she’d fall asleep for hours. She’d only refused because she didn’t trust herself with Zack. But he was being so decent. “On second thought a walk sounds like a great way to unwind.”
She grabbed her key, and they locked the front door behind them. They walked around the house to a wooden deck that led through sea oats to the beach. When her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she could see moonlight sparkling off the black water of the Gulf of Mexico.
A light breeze caused canvas umbrellas to flutter in time to the waves rolling onto the beach. She breathed in a deep tangy breath. Zack took her hand, twining his fingers through hers.
Holding his hand felt right. She recalled him protecting her with his body when he feared a grenade might come through the window. As much as she told herself he was simply doing his job, she knew she meant more to him than sheer duty. She’d felt his erection. While she might dismiss his reaction to her as simply a male responding to a female, she couldn’t forget his urgent kiss. Or his words afterward that had told her that if they’d died, he’d regret not following his instincts.
She suspected Zack felt close to her because of the night they’d shared and the child they’d made. Danger had brought them together again, and even knowing Zack would likely soon leave, she couldn’t deny him or herself in that moment.
She curled her fingers around his. They reached the water’s edge and she kicked off her shoes, wanting to feel the powder-soft sand between her toes and the water foaming over her ankles. She wanted to forget that a killer had come after her today. She wanted to forget that her time with Zack was limited.
“I like when you do that.”
“Wh
at?”
“Turn off your lawyer mode.”
“Because I kicked off my shoes?”
“Because you’ve relaxed.”
It was true. Just this once, she didn’t want to think about the past or the future. She didn’t want to think about her schedule or her cases. She wanted to live in this moment. The breeze carried his male scent to her and reminded her of those hours when they’d created Gabby. So much had happened since then—and yet that elemental connection was still there.
And now they had Gabby connecting them, too.
They walked hand in hand, not talking. As if they each feared words would spoil the peace of the moment. A boat motored offshore, its bow lights a soft glow on the horizon.
They had the beach to themselves. Even the condos, hotels, and mom-and-pop motels that lined the beach were dark at this late hour, their balconies empty.
“We shouldn’t go far,” Zack said.
He was thinking about Gabby’s safety. She looked up at him, wishing she could see his expression better in the darkness. But all she saw was the silhouette of his firm jaw, the set of his broad shoulders, and the outline of his wide chest. When he didn’t say anything, she brushed a lock of windblown hair from her eyes. “Is anything wrong?”
“No one’s following us. It’s just that . . .”
“What?”
His voice sounded hungry, husky. “This is the first time we’ve been alone, where we haven’t been following up a clue.”
“And?”
“And I want to . . .”
“Yes?” She tipped up her chin.
“To kiss you again.”
At his admission, a thrill slid down her spine and curled in her stomach. But he didn’t move so much as an inch closer. He let go of her hand. When she realized he wasn’t going to kiss her, disappointment flooded her. Refusing to let the conversation die in an awkward silence, she tugged his hand. “Come on. You need to cool off. Let’s go swimming.”
She tugged him into the water. He splashed beside her. “We aren’t dressed for swimming.”
“Our clothes will dry.” She began to run, picking up her feet, sprinting into the cool waves, eager to duck under the water and escape her disappointment. She’d been so ready for Zack to kiss her and wondered why he was fighting his instincts.
Did he think if he kissed her again, she’d ask him to stay? Did he fear if he kissed her again, he’d want to stay? Or did he feel that he shouldn’t lead her on because he fully intended to leave again?
She didn’t know. But as the water reached her waist, she dived under, letting the salt water wash away her disappointment and worries. When she surfaced to find Zack right next to her, she splashed him. He retaliated, but she’d anticipated his move and shifted sideways. But then he leaped after her. His hands gripped her waist, lifted her up, and she was certain he intended to toss her back into the water. But he let his hands slide up her sides.
And then his mouth closed over hers in fierce possession. He kissed her as if he couldn’t stop himself. As if nothing was more important than him having her against him, her mouth under his. Zack tasted of salt and lust and need, and she wrapped her arms over his shoulders, threaded her fingers into his hair.
When Zack had kissed her on the bed, he’d rushed. But this time, he took his time. He kissed her thoroughly, and his scent combined with the seawater to tantalize. Mandy forgot that she was standing fully clothed in the Gulf of Mexico. She forgot that Zack and she had so many things to work out. She forgot the two years they’d been apart.
Kissing Zack made her pulse race. Zack brought out Mandy’s lusty side. With him she felt safe to let go, to kiss him back, to enjoy the moment. On her own she was serious and practical, but with Zack she relaxed, laughed, and had the freedom to be more feminine, more passionate. She remembered this feeling, so completely special, a feeling that had only happened with Zack. Now that she was finally back in his arms and kissing him, she enjoyed snuggling against him, pressing her chest against his, feeling his heart pound.
And she wanted more. She wanted to unbutton his shirt and remove her own clothing. But Zack placed his hands on her waist and gently broke their kiss. “I shouldn’t have done that.”
“You’re right. It was terrible,” she teased.
“I meant . . .” He ran a hand through his hair and let out a disgusted sigh.
“What, Zack?” Her pulse pounded. Her mouth went dry. She wanted him to explain. To tell her what he was feeling—or at least what he was thinking.
“We should go back to the house.”
“Whatever.” She felt like throwing up her hands in disgust. But she didn’t. He’d kissed her—although he hadn’t wanted to. For now, that would have to be enough.
Except it didn’t feel like enough. She’d wanted more than a passionate kiss from him. Settling for less was difficult, especially when she already knew how good they could be together. But she refused to push Zack, he would come to his own conclusions in his own way.
However, she didn’t mind nudging a bit. When she got back to the beach, she unbuttoned her shirt.
He grabbed her wrist. His voice came out raw, letting her know he was hurting, too. “What are you doing?”
“Peeling down to my lingerie. It’ll be more comfy.”
“But someone might see.” He sounded totally exasperated, and she hid a tiny grin of satisfaction.
“It’s dark.” She shimmied out of her jeans and spun around. “And my bra and panties look like a bikini, don’t you think?”
Zack grabbed her hand again and tugged her along the beach. “I don’t know. I’m not looking.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
ZACK HAD LOOKED at Mandy’s body, of course. She’d looked good. Damn good. It was all he could do to resist pulling her back into his arms for another kiss. But he had no right to lead her on. So they’d returned to the beach house.
Despite the cool shower he’d just taken to wash off the salt from their swim, Zack tossed on the pullout sofa in the living room. He couldn’t sleep and told himself the bed was uncomfortable, but the real reason was quite different. He remained wide awake because of Mandy. It didn’t matter how many times he told himself she was a mother, he thought of her as sexy and available. Maybe if he saw their child, it would serve as a permanent reminder that he and Mandy were more than two single adults who were free to act out their selfish impulses.
Besides, he’d been kept out of the loop for long enough. He didn’t want to wait until morning to see his daughter. He tied on a bathrobe Mandy had loaned him.
Mandy had disappeared into the guest room, and her mother slept in the master bedroom. Since there was only one other spare room, he had no difficulty finding Gabby’s room. The door had been left cracked open. He paused outside in the hallway, sensing that once he stepped over the threshold, he’d be entering new territory from which he could never return.
He should retreat to his lumpy sofa bed. Instead, he advanced, leaning forward to peer through the crack. But not enough light came through for him to see anything beyond the darkness.
At the moment of truth, he had second thoughts. Perhaps this wasn’t a good idea.
Should he go back to sleep, get up early tomorrow morning when the bodyguard arrived, watch the house from outside and wait for Mandy to exit? With his career, he had no business having a child. Some DEA agents had families, but those who worked undercover took enormous risks with their lives and were absent for long periods of time. He couldn’t be a good father and a good DEA undercover agent.
He should leave.
But what could one look hurt? Zack couldn’t stop himself from pushing the door open wider until he could see better. Light from just outside shined in through the window and lit up the crib.
She slept on her side, her round face pe
aceful, sweet and innocent. Baby smells hit him, lotions and powders. Her yellow pajamas reminded him of summer sunshine.
Gabrielle was his daughter. His child. She didn’t look like him. Thank God. She was gorgeous. So small. Although he tried to deny a connection between them—he couldn’t quite do so. He longed to touch her, talk to her, get to know her. But he had no right.
“Want to hold her?” Mandy asked softly from the foot of the crib, shocking him by her presence. She wore a long T-shirt she must have borrowed from her mother. Her feet were bare, her hair still damp from her shower.
It was a measure of how upset he was that he hadn’t noticed Mandy standing in the shadows. He’d seen his daughter for exactly ten seconds and already he was losing his instincts.
He shook his head and kept his tone low. “I don’t want to wake her.”
“Sorry. I misled you before.”
“Why?”
“I had to get used to the idea of sharing her. She’s a very heavy sleeper. She won’t wake up to a dog barking, a fire engine siren, the sound of a TV or us talking. Mom once knocked over a lamp in her room, and Gabby didn’t wake up.” Mandy leaned over the crib, slid her hands under the baby, picked her up and cradled her in her arms. Her face softened with love and Zack caught his breath. They looked so right together. Mother and daughter seemed two halves of a whole, complete.
Mandy stepped toward him and held out the baby. He should walk away. But strangely fascinated, he couldn’t muster the willpower to leave, couldn’t help wondering what it would be like to hold her—just once.
Zack tried to make a cradle out of his arms. “I’ve never held a baby.”
“Rest her head in the crook of your elbow and support her back and bottom with your arm.”
“She weighs so little.” He was surprised how natural it was to hold her against his chest. The baby seemed to curve into all the right places. He marveled at the softness of her skin, the perfection of her tiny mouth, her button nose, her rounded cheeks, the fine hair on her scalp. As Mandy predicted, she remained asleep.
Kiss Me Deadly Page 19
