I stabbed a bite of pancake and huffed. “Uh huh.”
After everyone was done eating, Mav and I collected all the dishes. I filled the sink with hot soapy water and started scrubbing them. It was better to just get it done and out of the way before the chief came in and saw the mess. He was picky about how we kept the station, and we’d all learned the hard way to clean up after ourselves. Now it was a habit.
As I washed, Mav dried and set the dishes aside to be put away. “So the box, huh?”
“Yep.”
“Shitty.”
I nodded. “You can say that again.”
“Shitty.”
I snorted and handed him a washed plate. “Cute.”
Mav rolled his shoulders. “It can’t be that bad. Change of pace and scenery. You haven’t missed anything at least. We’ve just been twiddling our thumbs for the last couple days.”
“At least you have each other to talk to. Allen is so quiet.”
“Yeah. I wondered how the two of you would get along in such close quarters. It takes him a while to open up.” Mav shook his head. “‘Open up’ isn’t the right phrase. It takes him a while to start talking.”
“Any idea why?”
“Nope, and I’m not going to ask. Just go with it. Don’t be an asshole, and you guys will be just fine.”
I stopped scrubbing the plate I was cleaning. “Why does everyone think I’m such an asshole?”
“Because you are.”
I grunted. Maybe I needed to reconsider how I was communicating with people. I liked cracking jokes and having a good time, but I didn’t want the people I considered to be my friends thinking I was a jerk.
I glanced up when the chief poked his head around the corner of the kitchen. He nodded at me. “Janson. May I see you in my office when you’re done here?”
“Yes, sir.”
Mav widened his eyes at me. “Oh shit. Somebody’s in trouble.”
“Or he’s taking me off the box.”
“Not likely.”
I shoved the dish sponge into Mav’s hands. “You take over. I want to get this over with.”
The guys all made ominous sounds as I walked down the hallway to meet my impending doom. I stopped in front of the chief’s office door and shot a dark look back at them. They all laughed and gave me thumbs-ups as I knocked.
The chief called for me to come in.
I entered, closed the door, and sat down across from him.
He stared at me over the top of his fingers as he held them in front of his face, pressed together in a teepee shape. He nodded. “Janson.”
“Sir.”
“How has your time in the box been?”
I almost blurted out “horrible”, but I held on to that response and opted for a better one—one that the chief would be happier to hear than something negative. “The first shift was a bit rough. I’m not used to that sort of pace and working with Yellich. But my last shift was better.”
“That’s good.”
I leaned forward, and my chair creaked beneath me. “I realize I was taking my old position with search and rescue for granted.”
Rinehart’s eyes narrowed, but he didn’t say anything.
“I want my spot back, sir. I do better work with Hayden. I help people that way. This whole, shuttling people to and from the hospital thing isn’t my speed. Do you know what I mean?”
“No, Janson. I don’t know what you mean.”
“All I’m saying is, I’m better suited for fires and search and rescue. Not the box.”
“Do you want to know what I think?”
I swallowed. No. Chances were, I didn’t want to know. But I nodded. “Of course, sir.”
“I think you’ve developed a lack of empathy where the public is concerned. You’ve turned cold.”
“Sir, I don’t think—”
“And people who don’t care about others have no place on this team. You’re in the box until I say you’re out. I’m hoping that your time off the search and rescue will help you become more compassionate. We help people. Plain and simple. All people.”
I nodded. “Yes, sir.”
He nodded at the door. “You may go.”
Arguing was pointless, so I got up and left. I closed the door behind me and marched back into the kitchen, where the sour expression on my face warned the others not to harass me.
I dropped down into a chair at the table, kicked my heels up on the table, and clasped my hands over my stomach.
Hayden nodded at me. “It went poorly?”
“I’m in the box until he decides he’s ready to pull me off.”
Allen clicked his tongue. “Well, at least you’ll get to see Katie more.”
That made the guys start laughing.
I narrowed my eyes at Allen. “Aren’t you Mr. funny guy today?”
Allen’s smile was sheepish when he got to his feet. “I’ll see you on the next shift. Maybe you should bring a book.”
I flipped him off, and Allen left chuckling.
Hayden slapped my back. “Consider it a win, Derek. That’s the first time I’ve heard Allen laugh all week.”
8
Katie
I unrolled the sleeves of my white knit sweater to cover up my tattoos before I went to get out of my car. After turning off the ignition and getting out, my phone started ringing.
“Hi, Emily,” I said as I held it to my ear.
“Hey. What are you up to today? I was thinking we could go for brunch? I’ve been craving eggs Benedict for a week and a half.”
“Eggs Benny sounds delicious, but I can’t today. Rain check?”
“You have something better to do than hang out with your best friend?”
“Better? Not necessarily. But it’s important.”
Emily sighed on the other end. “Okay. Fine. Call me later?”
“Will do.”
We hung up, and I tucked my phone in my purse. Then I looked up at the house in front of me. My old family home.
I grew up in a small subdivision of single-level three-bedroom homes. Our house was at the end of the lane, and I used to play with all the neighborhood kids in the summer. I’d stay out as late as I possibly could to avoid going home.
On the outside, the little house looked perfect.
The powder-blue siding was even more faded than it used to be from the sun, but the white trim around the front door and the windows was pristine and fresh from last summer when my mother and I repainted. The front porch was small but just big enough for two chairs with striped pillows and a small table between them. My mother had a green thumb, so the patio was filled with all sorts of plants, and hanging baskets were at either end, vomiting out pink and purple flowers.
The front door was open, but the screen door was closed. As I got closer, I could see that my mother had purchased a new doormat that had a picture of a cat on it. She’d gotten a black tabby cat after my father passed away from cancer four years ago. The cat was named Poe, like Edgar Allan Poe, and was the fattest, laziest feline I’d ever met. He was currently curled up on one of the chairs with his face resting on his back foot.
I stepped up onto the porch and adjusted my purse strap on my shoulder. “Here we go,” I muttered to myself. And then I knocked on the frame of the screen door.
“Come in!” my mother called.
I opened the door and stepped into the small foyer. The same shoe rack I used to keep all my sneakers on as a kid was to the right of the door. I slid my tennis shoes off, which were now pristine and white after being scrubbed with vinegar and baking soda, and tucked them on the bottom shelf. Then I walked down the hall which was lined with old family photos and into the kitchen.
My mother was standing beside the sink, cutting up watermelon and feta cheese. She was adding it all to a bowl with a bit of basil. She mixed it up and turned toward me. “Good morning, honey. I thought I’d whip us up something to eat. I have croissants in the oven, too.”
I smiled. “Morning, Mom.
It smells amazing.” I wasn’t lying. The whole house smelled like sweet buttery goodness. I inhaled deeply as my stomach rumbled.
My mother dried her hands on the pink and yellow floral dish towel hanging off the dishwasher handle. “Coffee?”
“Sure.”
The house was almost exactly the same as it had been when I lived there. The kitchen walls were pastel yellow, and the rest of the house was painted in soft grays and white. The living room still played host to my father’s old black leather La-Z-Boy chair in one corner. My mother had draped a crocheted white blanket over it, and it was laying the same way it had been the last time I dropped by almost three weeks ago.
Why she hadn’t thrown the damn chair out, I had no idea.
Once the coffee was made, she set out creamer and a little bowl of sugar, and I made mine how I liked it. A drop of cream and half a teaspoon of sugar. I sipped it carefully, nearly scalding my tongue, and we headed out to the front porch with our morning salad and fresh croissants in hand.
There was something so refreshing about watermelon with feta cheese. I devoured mine before diving into a warm, fluffy croissant. “This is so good. Thanks, Mom.”
“You’re welcome. I’ve been enjoying playing around in the kitchen lately. It’s been nice.”
“That’s good,” I said before licking butter off my fingertips.
Poe hopped up into my mother’s lap and curled up there. She stroked his back and rubbed his ears, and he started purring.
Poe was a good presence in the house for my mother. He gave her a lot of joy, which she most certainly deserved after the hellish life she’d endured at my father’s hands.
He’d been abusive for as long as I could remember.
He never struck me, but he knocked my mom around on nights where he came home from the bar late, drunk as a skunk, and in the foulest of moods. My mother would hear his truck come rumbling up the driveway, and she would make sure I was in my room with the door locked. She’d make me promise not to come out.
I wasn’t the sort of kid who broke promises.
So, I would stand on the other side of the door, listening to the fight happen out in the living room or kitchen. Things would break. My mother would beg for my father to stop. He’d yell at her. I’d be able to hear the impact when he hit her.
It was horrible. And so were the memories.
When he died of pancreatic cancer, I hadn’t felt bad. I hadn’t gone to visit him, either. Even though he’d been in the cancer ward at my hospital, I didn’t make the time to go see him. He was cruel. Evil. He didn’t deserve to be mourned.
Except my mother had grieved for him. It confused me a lot. I’d been so sure that when he died, she would finally be free of him. But the first couple years after his death were really hard for her. It was almost like she’d become completely lost.
And that was when I brought Poe home.
The cat gave her something to take care of. She no longer moped around the empty house missing her husband. She adored the cat and spoiled him.
“How have you been, Mom?”
My mother nodded as she stroked Poe’s back. “Good. It’s been a good week. Better than most. I went to the market last weekend for the first time in a while. It was nice to see some familiar faces. And Joan came over for tea yesterday. She’s doing well. And she asked about you, of course.”
Joan was my mother’s best friend and like an aunt to me. She’d tried to convince my mom to leave my father on numerous occasions. But it had been like talking to a wall. My mother was the definition of loyal to a fault.
“How about you, sweetheart? How’s work?”
“Busy,” I said.
“Busy is good. Time goes by faster, right?”
“Yes. Definitely.”
“Been on any dates lately?”
I sighed. I was so tired of this question. “No, Mom. No dates. I’m not really interested in seeing anyone right now. You know that.”
I wasn’t interested in seeing anyone because all I knew was the horror of abuse. I’d witnessed it for years, and then I’d carried those habits into the only serious relationship I’d ever had. I was not interested in falling into that trap again. Being alone was better. It was safe.
“I know. I just worry about you, Katie. I want you to find a nice man to take care of you.”
“I don’t need someone who will take care of me.”
“We all need someone to watch out for us,” my mother said.
“Like how Dad watched out for you?”
My mother blinked at me.
I pinched the bridge of my nose and sighed. “I’m sorry, Mom. I didn’t mean that. I just… I don’t like people getting on my case about dating. You know that. I’ve asked you not to bring it up anymore. Because I’m not changing my mind. Guys are off the table right now.”
“It’s all right. I understand. I won’t bring it up again.”
“Thank you.”
The next few minutes were a little awkward. It always happened whenever I came to see my mom. I knew she only wanted what was best for me, but I had an uncanny knack for seeking out men who were most definitely not good for me. I somehow managed to find a man just like my father, and before I saw any of the red flags, I’d moved in with him.
And he had me right where he wanted me.
Never again.
My mother reached over and put her hand on mine. “I’m glad that you’ve been coming around more often.”
“I still should visit more,” I said softly. It was true. I avoided this house because of the memories, but that wasn’t my mother’s fault. I needed to see her more. She led a lonely life cooped up in this house. Her years of abuse had made her a skittish woman.
“I understand why you don’t. I’m just glad that you come at all. It’s better than how it used to be when he was alive.”
When my father was still at home, I never came by. I avoided the house at all costs, and I avoided him.
“Next time, I’ll come for dinner. I’ll bring an appetizer.”
“That would be lovely, Katie. I’d really like that.”
I smiled and rested my other hand on top of my mother’s. “I love you, Mom.”
“I know, sweetie. I love you too.”
9
Derek
I had spent the first two hours of my shift on Thursday in the box with Allen trying every conversation starter I could think of.
“So how about that weather?”
“What’s that book about?”
“Any lucky lady in your life?”
“Got any plans for your next days off?”
“How about that rookie, huh?”
Nothing seemed to catch his interest. It was like I was alone in the box. For hours.
When we hit the three-hour mark, I rested my head against the back of the seat and closed my eyes. I let out a long, subconscious sigh and rubbed at my eyes with the heels of my hands.
“What’s wrong?” Allen asked.
I cracked open my left eye and peered at him. “He speaks.”
Allen didn’t look over at me. He kept his eyes on the road and drove with one hand on the top of the steering wheel. “He does. When he wants to. So what’s wrong with you?”
“I’m so fucking bored.”
Finally, he looked over at me. “You’re a child. Did you know that? The last few days have felt like I’ve been a personal chauffeur for an eleven-year-old.”
“You know strangely enough, you’re not the first person to say that to me. Although the last time I heard it, it was coming from a woman, and she said I was fourteen, not eleven.”
Allen shook his head. “Same point. Why do you need to be constantly entertained? What is so wrong with just sitting quietly and relaxing? You can think. Meditate. Breathe.”
“Boring.”
“So is surface level conversation just to fill the silence.”
“I disagree. Anything is better than silence. It’s awkward. This right now is better than
silence.”
“I think the chief is testing us both.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yes. You’re here to learn empathy.”
I glanced at him. “And how is he testing you?”
Allen smirked. “He’s testing my patience.”
“You dick.”
Allen surprised me by laughing a little bit. “You wanted to talk. I’m talking. Consider it a victory.”
“This isn't exactly what I had in mind.”
“Not everything is about you, Derek.”
I laughed. “Funny. The woman who said being in a car with me was like driving a fourteen-year-old around also said that to me.”
Allen took a right turn and chuckled softly. “No wonder Katie blew you off. You’re not as charming as you think.”
“I’m hella charming. The ladies love me.”
“The silly ones, sure.”
I shook my head. “What do you know about women?”
“Honestly? Not much. But I suspect I might know a bit more than you. Enough to know that hitting on a nurse while she’s trying to admit a patient for surgery is probably not going to go over so well. Especially a nurse like Katie.”
“Why especially?” I asked.
“Because she really cares about her job. And her patients. She went into nursing because she wanted to make a difference and help people in need. And you shit all over that the other day. If I were you, I’d steer clear of her.”
“You think I can’t win her favor?”
Allen shrugged. “I’m not saying that. I’m just saying that she’s a good woman, and she doesn’t deserve to be with someone who doesn’t respect her.”
Had Allen just told me that I wasn’t good enough for the nurse? What a pompous ass. “Who says I don’t respect her?”
“Your actions do.”
“And just who the hell do you think you are, Top Gun?”
Allen shot me a lopsided grin. “I’ve changed my mind. Talking with you is entertaining. You’re easy to rile up.”
“So, you’re just pulling my leg?”
“No. Not at all. I mean it. You should leave her alone. She’s too good and sweet for you. Try your moves on another girl.”
Set the Night on Fire: A Bad Boy Firefighter Novel Page 5
