“You’re what?” A new voice cut in.
Nat and Kiku both whipped their gazes towards the door.
Ryu stood there, dressed for training in a sleeveless white t-shirt and blue athletic shorts, his hair still shiny from the shower. He crossed over to Nat. “You’re not leaving. I heard wrong, didn’t I?”
Kiku began to rise. “I’ll give you privacy.”
“No, Kiku. Stay.” Ryu grasped Nat’s arm. “Talk now, please.” His voice rose in pitch, as did the alarm on his beautiful face.
“Ryu, please, don’t—”
“Now, Nat.” Ryu’s eyes took on a fierce look. In spite of the trainer-student, older man-younger man relationship they had, Ryu had no problems standing up for himself with Nat. He had to, Nat knew with shame, in order to get past Nat’s terrible tendency to become uncommunicative.
There would be no arguing with Ryu, or attempting to postpone telling him this news. Ryu could be relentless in his own way and would wear Nat down. Best to just tell him the truth. Which he did, explaining everything the way he’d explained it to Kiku minutes before.
However, Kiku’s face hadn’t darkened and creased the way Ryu’s did as Nat spoke. Kiku’s panic didn’t radiate in the air around them, gripping Nat’s heart like a desperate fist. Ryu’s fingers tightened on his forearm and he sank into the other chair, his eyes staring off as if intent on something beneath their feet. “This can’t be,” he whispered. He snapped his gaze up. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Nat. That agent hated me. He wanted me dead. You did everything you could to protect me.”
“No, Ryu,” he said softly, “I didn’t do everything. I saw that Tongmee wasn’t right in the head and I kept him on the job. Nor did I lock the door that night, when we came in from Deena’s party. He opened it right in and snuck up on us. If I’d locked it, he probably wouldn’t have been able to kidnap you. I could have gotten you killed.”
Ryu sprang out of the chair and pulled Nat into his arms. Clinging to Nat like a kid, he pushed his face into the curve of Nat’s neck. Ryu’s breath was warm on his skin. “What if they put you in prison? Would they do that?”
Nat pushed his fingers into Ryu’s damp hair and cradled the back of his head, aware of Kiku’s presence close by. “I don’t think so, Ryu.” He closed his eyes and breathed in Ryu’s clean scent. Since the first day they met in the Bangkok airport, that woodsy aroma of sandalwood oil Ryu wore had mesmerised him.
Suddenly, Ryu pulled back and disengaged from their embrace. His eyes were misted and he glanced at Kiku. “Kiku, what are we going to do? No, it’s not fair to ask you that. You’ve done so much.” He squared his shoulders, the determination returning to his expression. “I’m going with you. I’ll explain everything to them. They’ll see you did nothing wrong.”
“No.”
Ryu’s mouth hung open. He stared into Nat’s face as if watching a gory horror film. “What?”
“I said, no. You’re not going anywhere, Ryu. You have a fight in three days. You’ve worked your ass off for it. You already gave up your career once for that psychotic yak,” he said, referring to Taro Suzuki who’d wanted Ryu to throw a fight and give up boxing in order to be his personal fulltime sex toy. Suzuki had made Ryu’s life a living hell until Ryu ended the entire situation with his bare hands. “I won’t let you sacrifice it again for me. I’ll own up to what I did and take whatever punishment I’ve earned.”
Ryu released Nat’s arms. “You sound mad.” His horror morphed back into desperation and he looked beseechingly at Kiku. “Kiku, please, say something. Help me.”
Nat cut in before Kiku could answer. “Nothing Kiku could say will change my decision.” Nat fixed Ryu with a look. Where this hard-headed, iron-willed pronouncement was coming from, Nat didn’t know. Guilt, perhaps, but it didn’t matter. Ryu had been through too much already. No way in hell he was going to let Ryu make any more sacrifices. He stood. “I promise you, Ryu, I won’t let them lock me up. I’ll come back to you as soon as I can. Now, you have a practice spar. Let’s have breakfast and get going.”
He watched the fight drain from Ryu’s features.
Ryu appealed to Kiku again with his eyes. “Kiku, please, tell him he’s mad. How can he not let me testify for him?”
Kiku had risen from his chair. As usual, his eyes radiated care for Ryu, but Nat saw something else in them as well. Without words, Nat saw Kiku’s understanding. They were both older than Ryu, and knew what it meant to face certain demons. A time came in each man’s life he had to face them down alone. Absolutely alone. Although Ryu had done it once already in that hotel room with Suzuki, he hadn’t processed yet what had really happened inside of himself in those moments. He hadn’t yet realised his deep aloneness in facing down Suzuki. Perhaps, when he was close to forty or a bit past that, the way Kiku was, he’d understand.
Kiku came around his desk and put a hand on Ryu’s back. “Ryu-chan, Nat isn’t mad. I promise you. This is something he must do. Please, try to understand. Remember your experience with Suzuki. You had to face him alone, with no one there to help you. Many things in life are like that. Dying is also like that.” He leant in and kissed Ryu’s hair.
“I don’t understand,” Ryu said in a tight whisper, his gaze on Nat though he spoke to Kiku.
Kiku rubbed his back briefly. “You will some day, sweet friend. You will.” He gave Ryu a gentle push. “In the meantime, however, Nat is your trainer. Your teacher. You must obey him. Do as he says. Eat, meditate and do your practice spar. That’s all there is right now.”
Ryu opened his mouth as if to object but seemed to think the better of it and nodded. Head down, he left the office and turned to the right, in the direction of the meditation room in the corridor, just next to the office.
Nat began to follow him, but paused, stayed by Kiku’s hand. Kiku’s eyes, though tired, still simmered with the energy that had enabled him to establish and run the place they stood in now, the strength and determination that had made him a man so many others turned to for help and solace.
“Nat, have faith. Ryu is strong, you know that.”
He nodded though the heavy feeling he’d woken up with now pressed on his chest like the leaden plates one slid onto a barbell. Breathing was becoming harder. “I know that,” he said softly. He just wasn’t so certain about himself. Nor was he so certain about his promise not to be imprisoned. That certainly wasn’t within his control. Yet Kiku was right. All there was right now was to eat, meditate and coach Ryu through his practice fight.
“I’ll find you a flight back to Bangkok, if it will help.”
Nat nodded again. “Yes. That would help immensely.”
Kiku squeezed his arm then released him. “I’ll have it for you when get back this afternoon.”
Chapter Two
“I’m sorry, Nat.” Ryu looked as miserable as he was beautiful, standing there, wrapped only in a gym-issue white towel. His newly dried skin gave off the smell of soap. Like this morning after his shower, his damp hair stood in errant black spikes. The only difference were the red marks on his face that would turn to bruises in a little while, in spite of the protective headgear he’d worn for his practice spar.
Nat’s heart squeezed painfully. Bad enough what was happening. Ryu’s distress had caused him to lose the spar. Badly. “You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for, Ryu.”
“I let you down. You’ve put four months of work into me and I let you down.”
Nat steeled himself against the defeat in Ryu’s attitude. Ryu hadn’t only had difficulty concentrating. Nat knew from the way Ryu had fought he’d been trying to feign ill-preparedness so Nat would order him to forfeit the fight. It wasn’t going to work. “Listen, you’re going to fight in three days and you’re going to win. Just think of this practice round as getting the kinks out.” He gestured to the massage table. “Get up there now.”
Ryu exhaled and went obediently to the table. With a strange look at Nat, he pulled the towel off his hips and la
id it on the flat cushion. Nat set another towel above it and watched Ryu climb on and lie, face down, chin on his forearms.
Nat poured massage oil onto one palm and warmed it in his hands. “You’re going to do fine,” he said. “You’ve got what it takes, Ryu.”
Ryu turned his head slightly. “Thank you,” he murmured.
“And you’ll have Kumo-san coaching you.” Kumo had been Ryu’s first and only coach, the one he’d been forced to give up when he went into hiding in Thailand. Kumo had been thrilled to be a part of Ryu’s career again and had gladly volunteered to stand in for Nat.
“Yes. True enough.” Ryu was obviously working his ass off to be agreeable when Nat knew how his lover really felt about their imminent separation this evening.
Nat did his best to smile and set his hands, palms down, on Ryu’s upper back. Ryu let out a small breath at the contact and sank further onto the table when Nat rubbed easy circles over his shoulder blades.
Damn, Ryu felt soooo good. Nat pressed down a little harder with the heels of his hands. Hard muscle inked over with a million beautiful colours pushed back against the slow, firm circles he ground. Ryu’s flawless skin slid easily under Nat’s oiled palms.
Ryu groaned softly and heaved a deep breath. The kissing samurai on his back shifted with the movement, as if their entwined, kimono-clad bodies were alive. “Nat, you’re so good at this.” The breathy tone almost made Nat think there was nothing wrong.
Nat smiled even though Ryu was lying on his stomach on the massage table, hands folded under his chin and couldn’t see his lover’s face. Heat tingled through his own body, making his groin tighten. Touching Ryu made everything else recede to the background, if only for a little while. They really needed to make the most of these last hours together.
If they’d been in their room at the White Tiger and not still in the gym, he’d have bent over and given the nape of Ryu’s neck a tiny lick. In the last four months, he’d discovered one of Ryu’s favourite erogenous zones. “Thanks. I just don’t want you to get stiff.” He made a point of massaging Ryu after every training session. In spite of the easy excuse it gave him to rub oil over Ryu’s naked body, his other motive truly was Ryu’s physical welfare.
“It works. I don’t get stiff. Well, I do, but only in the good spots.”
Now, Nat chuckled. Humour. A good sign. “Yes,” he agreed, “definitely in the good spots.”
Ryu turned over then, interrupting the massage and sat up. Ryu’s wide shoulders slumped. Misery darkened his face. “I fought like shit today, Nat, and I’m sorry.” He looked down, the angle emphasising the softly rounded contours of his face. Ryu was so beautiful, words of admiration caught in Nat’s throat every time he looked at the man. “I just…I don’t know how I can do it without you here.” His lower lip began to tremble. He looked up, eyes misted. “I need you.”
Nat reached out and brushed a hand over Ryu’s hair. In spite of its spiky appearance, it was soft and tickled Nat’s callused skin in the sweetest way. In spite of Ryu’s attempt at faking, it had been clear Ryu was also distracted. The easy shots his opponent had gotten in were not a result of Ryu’s lack of skill or strength. Back in Phuket, he’d really held his own in the sparring match Tongmee had goaded him into, and Tongmee had been taller and stronger. The short spar had captured the attention of everyone in the training camp and they’d all ended up cheering for Ryu. This time, words wouldn’t come. Nat found himself tongue-tied, the way he’d been when he first met Ryu and would remain maddeningly silent when Ryu needed him to respond. He searched his mind fiercely for the words he wanted to say. He rubbed his thumb along Ryu’s cheekbone. “I know, Ryu,” he said softly. “Just…remember what you’ve been taught. Before you know it, I’ll be back.” The last words sounded hollow even though he meant them. Who knew what would happen really? Nat knew he was guilty of Tongmee’s accusation. And he wouldn’t lie about it. Not even for Ryu.
Ryu’s gaze lifted. It was a bit lighter now even though the look in his eyes had lost some of its innocence these past few months. Having taken Suzuki’s life had changed Ryu, tempered him in a way that Nat prayed could be reversed. Even Kiku had remarked on it, and Kiku had known Ryu since Ryu was a kid in grade school. Killing Suzuki had affected Ryu’s nature more deeply than more than having been raped by him. “I’m the one who’s sorry, Ryu.”
In the next second, Ryu grasped his forearms and pulled him close. Ryu spread his thighs so Nat’s hips fit between them, even though he bumped up to the edge of the massage table. The movement surprised Nat into staring at Ryu.
The other man’s eyes had darkened a bit, taken on that smouldering look of arousal. “I can’t get angry at you for having faith in a man’s higher nature,” he said softly. “You’re a cop and yet…I don’t know, you still…” He sighed. “It’s hard to put words to.” A small grin teased his lips. “Anyway, it turns me on.” He slid his touch up Nat’s arms to his chest, rubbing him over his thin white t-shirt.
Nat pulled in a breath. Ryu had the most incredible touch, heating his skin right through the material. The pads of Ryu’s thumbs found his nipples and brushed them into tiny peaks. “Ryu.” His voice came out a throaty whisper. Not what he’d intended. Regardless of the private little massage room, they were in a training gym, not at the White Tiger where this kind of thing was completely acceptable. “Someone could walk in.”
Ryu’s grin widened. “They know about me in this place,” he said. “I have an image to uphold, you know.” He trailed the fingertips of one hand down the centre of Nat’s stomach, tracing his abdominal muscles through the t-shirt. Nat’s groin tightened and his eyes fell on Ryu’s erection, jutting curve from between the tops of his tattooed thighs.
Nat stared. He couldn’t help it. To his shame, his mouth began to water as he gaped at his lover’s lightly veined shaft. The stiff member seemed to silently challenge him to break his personal barriers of what he could and couldn’t do in a gym.
“Don’t wait too long, Nat,” Ryu said in a husky voice. “I think we only have ten minutes left in here.” He reached for Nat’s hand and directed his fingers to close around the hard length. A small breath escaped Ryu at the contact. “It won’t take me long,” he promised. “And then I’ll take care of you when we get home.” Gentle pressure made Nat’s oiled fingers slid up Ryu’s cock, so that the plump head disappeared into his half-closed fist.
Ryu exhaled sharply. His eyes seemed to darken more and his eyelids lowered slightly. “Yeah,” he breathed and bid Nat’s hand to slide back down, “Just like that.”
Nat glanced over his shoulder towards the door. His heartbeat thudded slightly even though the door was solid, no tiny window to allow a passerby a peek at what he was doing.
“Don’t worry, Nat.” Ryu’s breathy voice pulled his attention back. Ryu leant back, bracing his weight with one hand on the table, the other hand still guiding Nat to stroke him. “They won’t say it out loud, but Japanese guys don’t care. They all know about shudo.” A tiny smile played about his soft lips.
Nat found himself now staring at Ryu’s lips, wanting to kiss him but still wavering between his own arousal and his uptightness about where they were. “Shudo?” He’d never heard Ryu use the word before and he was always learning something new from Ryu.
Ryu tilted his head back. “Manlove,” he said in a near whisper. His fingers still rested lightly on the tendons of Nat’s hand, though Nat realised he was now stroking Ryu’s erection in a slow, steady rhythm without Ryu’s help. He couldn’t stop, in spite of his fear of being walked in on. From the very first day they’d met, Ryu had been irresistible to him.
“The samurai practiced it for centuries,” Ryu went on. His voice was thick and shivery, and his chest rose and fell in quick breaths. A wonder how he was able to speak at all. Probably due to all those White Tiger exercises he’d practiced most of his adult life. “An older man would take a younger man for his lover then teach him to fight.” His breath caught on an
upstroke and the shaft twitched against Nat’s palm. Ryu’s eyelids fluttered briefly and he had a faraway look in his eyes now. “The way you’re teaching me now.”
Ryu fell silent except for his heavy breathing, each inhalation and exhalation matching the strokes of Nat’s hand. A pearl of cum seeped from the tip of Ryu’s cock. Nat brushed over the tiny hole, gathering the thick moisture with the pad of his thumb. He rubbed it in the small magic spot just below the ridge of his cockhead.
A groan of pleasure answered the tiny movement.
“Nat, kiss me, please.”
The whispered plea sent Nat leaning over. The second his lips touched Ryu’s, all thought melted away. The fear of someone coming in hovered in the background, but couldn’t compete with the velvety warmth of Ryu’s parted lips. More moist heat beckoned him to taste deeper while Ryu’s breath pulsed into his mouth, a rhythmic match to Nat’s stroking on his cock.
The hard shaft twitched again. Ryu released a long, soft groan. His fingers tightened over Nat’s hands, guiding the speed and depth of each slide. Shorter and quicker while Ryu’s hips rocked slightly and his wiry torso jerked.
With a huff, Ryu went limp, panting, his forehead pressed gently to Nat’s.
Nat rested like that with him, his hand still around Ryu’s softening dragon. His own body was tight with need, especially his erection which pushed against his briefs, demanding the same release.
Release.
Only then did Nat notice Ryu was dry. No warm milkiness had spurted out, though Ryu seemed to have climaxed.
Ryu leant back, a lazy grin stretching his lips, his eyelids still heavy, dark golden skin flushed. “Injaculation,” he said softly.
Nat recognised the term. It was an advanced technique of the White Tiger. The Taoist practice supposedly conserved a man’s life force.
Thai'ing the Knot Page 2
