George swung the gate shut behind her. “I’ll leave it on the latch in case you need to get out fast. Just chain it up when you leave.”
“Got it,” she said, sidling sideways with the bucket as she kept an eye on Darkside. The giant black horse had his ears flat against his head while his nostrils flared wide with each audible breath. He looked magnificent in his rage, like a knight’s charger ready to gallop into battle.
“Are you afraid of a bucket, buddy?” she asked in the teasing tone he seemed to respond to. “What a chicken!”
He stamped a huge hoof but his ears swiveled forward a couple of times. Julia settled the bucket against the fence and turned her back on it as she pulled a carrot out of her back pocket. “Okay, you get a treat for not killing me when I came through the gate.”
The horse snorted as she held out her flattened hand. For a moment, the muscles in his shoulder bunched and she wondered if he was going to lash out at her. Then his ears came forward, and he stretched out his head to swipe the carrot off her palm. As he crunched on it, she pulled another out of her pocket and sidled closer.
Darkside whickered and calmly ate the second carrot before he took a step forward to snuffle at her jeans pocket.
Julia laughed in sheer relief as she used his halter to pull his head away from her behind. “Don’t be so forward,” she said, stroking the powerful curve of his satiny neck.
“Is it okay if I turn the water on, ma’am?” George asked. “I don’t want to scare him while you’re so close up. Although he does seem to have a fondness for you.”
“Go ahead. I’ll keep his attention away from it.”
Darkside’s head came up when the first drops of water spattered into the metal bucket, but George knew his business, increasing the flow of water so gradually the horse quickly lost interest.
She spent a few minutes just stroking him, making admiring noises about his beauty and strength and brilliance. She could swear the horse arched his neck and preened.
“No one’s told you what a great guy you are in a long time, have they, buddy? So you’ve gotten grumpier and grumpier. Who can blame you? We all need positive feedback in our lives. I certainly learned that the hard way.”
Julia glanced around. George had finished filling the water bucket and vanished. No one else knew she was in the paddock with Darkside. She’d told Paul that Darkside just needed someone to show him how to behave normally. Now was her chance.
She wrapped her fingers around the leather of his halter and gave a little tug. “Walk with me, buddy.”
The big horse seemed to consider the idea for a long moment before he stepped forward in the direction she was facing. A spurt of triumph rose in her chest as he plodded along beside her, his head bobbing comfortably by her shoulder. They walked side by side around the entire paddock before she turned him around to walk the other way.
“See, this is nice and companionable,” she said, as they made a circuit in the opposite direction.
She led him to the middle of the paddock and walked him through several figure eights. Then she stood in front of him, her hands on either side of his halter, and backed him up, all the while telling him what a fine, smart, handsome fellow he was.
“So you do know how to behave!” she said, feeding him two carrot bits before laying her cheek against his and winding her arms around his neck.
She stayed there, absorbing the living warmth and latent power of the huge creature as he stood still, allowing a puny human to keep him there. She heard his heart pumping, his lungs drawing in air, his tail swishing at flies, and a crazy idea formed in her mind.
She let him go and stepped back to look into his eyes.
“When was the last time someone rode you?”
“Honey, you told me flat out you don’t know how to ride, and Darkside ain’t exactly a starter horse.” Sharon stood in the middle of her office and looked at Julia like she had two heads. “Hell, I haven’t tried to ride him since he bucked me off six months ago. It’s not worth the bruises.”
“I was just in the paddock with him,” Julia said, winding her hands together almost in a prayer. “He let me lead him around in circles and figure eights and even back him up.”
“I know. George told me.”
“George was watching?”
“He knew he’d better keep an eye on the devil horse.”
Julia crossed her arms. “He’s not a devil horse. He’s just not used to being good.”
Sharon crossed her arms in response. “Look, I may be softhearted about horses but I’m not crazy. Darkside is more than a handful for an experienced rider. There is no way I’m putting a beginner up on his back. Can you imagine what Taggart would say to me?” She shook her head.
The mention of Paul only increased Julia’s sense of urgency. She put her hand on Sharon’s forearm. “My uncle arrives tomorrow, and he’s more protective than Paul. If I don’t do this now, I’ll never have another chance and Darkside won’t, either.” She sensed a softening in Sharon. “You wouldn’t have brought the horse here if you didn’t believe he could be redeemed. Let me help him.”
She didn’t mention that Darkside would be helping her at the same time. It was time to face her Night Mare. The cause of her epilepsy. If she didn’t, she would never really believe she was cured.
Julia kept talking. “You’ll be right there the whole time, leading him, no faster than a walk. I’ll just sit quiet as mouse on his back.” Sharon started to shake her head again, and Julia injected every ounce of pleading she could muster into her voice. “Please!”
Sharon sighed. “Since I believe in whisper horses, I reckon I have to believe he won’t hurt you. Not deliberately anyhow.” She grabbed a pair of gloves off her desk and strode toward the door. Julia skipped along beside her as Sharon found George and told him to bring Darkside’s saddle and bridle to the paddock.
“You lookin’ to get dumped again?” the groom asked his boss.
“I’m lookin’ to get some tack out to the paddock without any smart-ass comments from you,” Sharon said.
George harrumphed and headed for the tack room.
“Okay, here are the rules,” Sharon said as she walked toward the paddock. “Well, there’s one rule: I make the rules. You do whatever I say without question.”
Julia’s heartbeat was already accelerating with nerves. “Whatever you say goes.”
“Remember that when you get up on Darkside and everything’s going smoothly and you decide you want to gallop.”
Julia’s breath hitched. “Gallop? I might be rash, but I’m not suicidal.”
“Could have fooled me,” Sharon muttered under her breath as they approached the paddock gate.
“Sharon, did Darkside really cripple his previous owner?”
“I guess Paul told you that. Yeah, he did, but I knew that son of a bitch Earl Samms and I’m willing to bet he deserved it. Earl abused his horses to make them afraid of him. He liked the feeling of power when a big, strong Thoroughbred would back away from him in terror. It worked until he met up with a horse who didn’t believe in backing away.” Sharon reached the gate and stopped.
“So what happened?”
“According to the groom who saw it, Earl went into Darkside’s stall with a whip, saying he was going to teach the horse a lesson. He thought he had Darkside tied up tight enough to keep him still while he beat him, but that stud is strong to begin with and anger added power to those big muscles.” Sharon’s eyes were on the stallion where he stood in the paddock and her tone was admiring. “He broke both the ropes Earl used on him and stomped the hell out of his abuser.”
“So he was just defending himself,” Julia said.
“Only reason Earl’s alive is the fool groom risked his own life by going into the stall and dragging him out,” Sharon said. “At least Earl sold all his horses so he can’t torture them anymore.”
“What would have happened to Darkside if you hadn’t taken him?”
“Well, Earl
wanted to shoot him. The groom got word to me, and I offered five hundred dollars for the horse. The only thing Earl liked better than abusing his horses was money, so he sold Darkside to me instead of destroying him.”
The image of Darkside’s glorious body lying lifeless on the ground tightened a fist around Julia’s heart. “Thank you for saving him. I know he hasn’t seemed very grateful, but I am.”
“I’d about thrown in the towel on Darth Horse here, but then you came along. Goes to show you should never give up on something you think is worthwhile.”
George walked up with a saddle on one hip and a bridle slung over his shoulder. “Changed your mind about riding the devil horse?”
“No,” Julia said. “I’m more determined than ever.”
The groom did a double take. “You’re going to ride him?”
Julia lifted her chin. “He’s my whisper horse.”
George looked dubious but asked, “Who’s tackin’ him up? Me or you?”
“I’ll take care of the saddle,” Sharon said, hefting it onto her own hip. “I’ll help Julia with the bridle.”
“You want me to come in and hold him?” the groom offered, as he passed the bridle to Julia.
“No, we’re good,” Sharon said, unlatching the gate and holding it as Julia slipped through. “Just hang around outside the gate for when Julia needs a leg up, will you?”
At the opposite end of the paddock, Darkside threw his head up and whinnied before he trotted toward them, his tail swishing with temper and curiosity.
“Was George the groom who worked for Earl?” Julia whispered, never taking her eyes off the stallion.
“How’d you guess?”
“He’s less afraid of Darkside than your other hands. I figured he might remember how Darkside was before Earl mistreated him.”
“Yeah, when Earl sold all his horses, George was out of a job, so I hired him on here. He worked out better than the horse,” Sharon said.
Julia choked on a nervous giggle. Darkside was almost upon them and his back looked very far off the ground from where she was standing. His hooves kicked up little puffs of dust as they struck the earth, reminding her of his weight and power.
“Howdy, big fella.” Sharon reached into her pocket and offered him a carrot bit. The horse took it off her palm without hesitation. “Now that’s a first,” Sharon said. “Usually he has to dance around and try to scare me before he’ll eat.”
“I’ve gotten him addicted to carrots,” Julia said, giving her whisper horse a treat too before she reached up to stroke his nose. She looked into his large, liquid eye and found no malice there. “Hey, buddy. Feel like having a rider today?” As usual, Darkside sniffed at her back pockets, and she laughed. “Males are all the same.”
Sharon snorted. “Ain’t it the truth? Here, snap this lead line onto his halter and hold him for me while I get the saddle on.”
Julia followed her instructions and stood by Darkside’s head, scratching behind his elegantly pointed ears to distract him. “How does he feel about being saddled?”
“No worse than about anything else, which could mean anywhere between ornery and furious. I’d bet Earl never tacked him up, so he doesn’t associate the saddle with being hurt.” Sharon slid the saddle into place so smoothly the horse didn’t seem to notice. She walked around his head to ease the girth down and back again to buckle it up. “He may not like it when I start to tighten it up.”
Julia decided food was the best distraction. “Hey, boy, you want another carrot?”
Darkside grunted when Sharon pulled the girth tight, but otherwise he didn’t object.
“Now’s the hard part,” Sharon said as she came up beside Julia. “He’s head shy. Not surprising the way Earl whipped him.”
Julia sucked in a deep breath. “Okay, tell me what to do.”
“First put the reins over his head so they’re around his neck. That way we have something to hold him with when you take the halter off.”
Julia gave Darkside’s halter a tug to lower his head and lifted the reins over his ears, letting them slide down his glossy neck. Sharon brought them together in a close loop and held on. “Now unbuckle the halter and ease it off.”
As she unbuckled the strap of the halter, Julia took another deep breath. Once she took this off, the only thing controlling Darkside would be the loop of reins and the horse’s goodwill. As the halter slipped off, Darkside stretched out his neck and shook his head, his long, coarse mane whipping Julia in the face.
“Hey, careful with the flying horsehair there.” She blinked to clear the haze of involuntary tears.
“Now take the headstall in your right hand and the bit in your left and see if Darkside will let you slip the bit in his mouth while you get the bridle over his ears.”
Julia got her hands positioned and lifted the bridle toward Darkside’s head. He squealed and threw his head up, the whites of his eyes showing. “Easy, boy,” she said, lowering the bridle. “That didn’t go well.”
She transferred the bridle to one hand and reached out to stroke the horse’s soft nose. Darkside shook his head hard before he let her touch him. “Okay, buddy, you don’t like leather around your head. How about if we start with the bit and pretend the rest of the bridle isn’t there?”
She stepped in close so her back was to his chest, her shoulder nearly under his chin. Letting the top of the bridle dangle, she used two hands to bring the bit up to his lips. He squealed again and danced backward, making Sharon jog with him as she struggled to keep a hold on the reins. For a moment, Julia had a terrible vision of her whisper horse bolting with the saddle flapping on his back, adding to his terror. She nearly called off the whole crazy project. But she thought of how Darkside’s fear isolated him and knew she had to do everything she could to help him conquer it.
She put the bridle in her right hand and walked to where Sharon had managed to bring him to a standstill. He watched her, his ears flicking back and forth. She came right up to him and rested her forehead on his for a moment before straightening. “Listen, you’ve had some bad things happen to you, but you have to leave them behind.”
As she spoke, she brought the bridle up and simply stroked his head with the bunched leather.
“The bridle’s in my hand now, buddy, and you know my hand would never hurt you.”
She switched it to her left hand and stroked the other side of his head with it.
“See, it’s just a few leather straps. Nothing to be afraid of when your friend is holding it.”
Darkside’s ears stayed forward and Julia brought the bit to his lips, pushing gently until he opened his mouth so she could slip it in. Ever so slowly, she brought the headstall up where he could see it and kept going until she could ease first one ear and then the other through it. She buckled the throatlatch and sagged in relief.
“Good job,” Sharon said quietly, as she released the reins and came forward to hold Darkside’s head. “George, we can use your help now.”
The groom was inside the gate before Julia even realized he’d opened it. Darkside seemed to grow so large he blocked out the sun. The saddle on his back looked ten feet above the ground. She closed her eyes against the vision and counted to five as she drew in a breath, another five as she held it, and a final five as she let it out and opened her eyes. She unclenched the fists she hadn’t realized she’d made and scrubbed her sweating palms on her jeans.
“Ready, ma’am?” George had run the stirrups down to the bottom of their leathers and stood with his fingers laced together, waiting for her to put her knee in so he could help her up.
She’d dealt with Darkside’s fear. Now she had to deal with her own.
She nodded and stepped up to the side of the horse, stretching up to grasp the saddle as she’d seen her father and uncle do countless times. She fitted her knee in the groom’s hands and jumped upward. Propelled by George’s surprisingly strong grip, she found herself lying across Darkside’s back with barely any effort on her
part. She scrambled around to swing her right leg over to the other side and sat upright as the big horse did a dance step under her.
“Whoa, boy, steady,” Sharon said, her voice both commanding and soothing.
George slotted Julia’s left foot, in its green cowboy boot, into the stirrup before she leaned down to hold the other iron to get her right foot settled.
She straightened and gathered up the reins in both hands, in imitation of the many times she’d watched various family members ride.
“Here, hold them like this,” Sharon said, showing her how to thread the leather straps through her fingers.
George checked the girth to make sure it was still tight.
“I’m going to lead you around the paddock the first time, all right?” Sharon asked.
Julia dragged her gaze away from the ground so far below her and looked at Sharon. The other woman’s expression went from questioning to concerned. “You okay, hon? You look a mite pale.”
Julia tried to swallow so she could speak but her throat muscles were locked up tight. She forced herself to take a deep breath and nodded.
“You got Darkside bridled,” Sharon said. “Maybe that’s enough for today.”
Julia shook her head, sucking in another breath before she croaked, “My uncle comes tomorrow.”
“Yeah, but I’m more afraid of Paul suing my ass if you faint dead away and fall off.”
The very real possibility of that occurring almost persuaded Julia to follow Sharon’s suggestion.
But she wasn’t riding just any horse. She’d been seeing Darkside in her mind and spilling him onto her canvases for months. She watched his elegantly curved ears doing a ballet as he listened to first Sharon’s voice and then hers. He stood patiently, waiting for her to stop allowing her past to cast its long shadows of fear.
He’d overcome his past enough to accept her inept fumblings with his bridle. She needed to follow his lead.
She cleared her throat. “I want to ride.”
Country Roads Page 21
