She was more than a blank slate. She was someone who knew how to get to me, suck me in, and keep me there.
The worst part was that Pierce and Brooke had pointed it out. But in the end, what difference did it make? They could point out whatever they liked but it didn’t change the facts.
Jane had her slender fingers firmly embedded in my heart. I might like to say she was mine, but the plain truth was, I was hers.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
While Drex was at work, I went out for a walk. It was a stunning late spring day, warm for May, with a soft breeze blowing from the west. It was much too beautiful to ruminate about my hours at the police station, or Brooke, or my embarrassingly abrupt departure from Scott’s party, but it took an hour of pavement-pounding before my head started to clear and Drex’s wise words returned to me.
All we have is today. Who knows what tomorrow will bring, if it comes at all.
I stopped at the grocery store on my way back and lugged the bags seven blocks to Drex’s building. One of the doormen, Danny, insisted on helping me up to the apartment.
I got into the elevator, and he followed. He was an inch shorter than I was, freckled, with a thick neck and gleaming bald head. “You’re a good friend of Mr. Cougan’s, huh?” he asked, punching the top button.
“Yes, I am,” I said. If he only knew how good. My face was turning red just thinking about it.
He tipped his head back and rocked on his heels. “Great guy. Everybody here thinks the world of him.”
“I can understand why.”
“To look at him, you’d never know successful he is,” Danny said. “He doesn’t show it off. I worked in this building almost a year before I heard about that little girl he found.”
“Little girl?” I gave him a blank stare.
“He must have told you about it. Happened just a few years ago. It was big news around here.”
“Um, right. I remember now.” I felt too on-the-spot to admit that Drex hadn’t said anything. I was completely in the dark.
“Amazing, isn’t it? Mr. Cougan’s our local hero, living right here on the top floor.”
“Yeah. It’s amazing, all right.”
“But he’d never bring it up himself,” Danny said. “That’s just the kind of person he is.”
Yes, it was. He was so busy taking care of me that he’d left out major parts of his life, parts other people knew about but I didn’t.
And no wonder. You could only trust a person like me so much. I understood exactly why he’d kept it quiet.
So why did I have a pit in my stomach and the silly urge to cry? I wanted to know him that well. I wanted to be a person he didn’t have to coddle and worry about. For two weeks he’d been the only thing keeping me off the street, and we both knew it.
What a contrast between me and Brooke. He’d never had to take her to the emergency room or the police station. He’d never had to save her from herself and a bunch of drunk Bandidos. She’d never needed a handout, food, clothes, or a place to sleep.
She might not be the best at her job, but she wasn’t dependent on strangers. She wasn’t a liability, a danger to his reputation. But for some reason, Drex didn’t seem interested in her. When he’d looked at her at the party, I’d seen nothing romantic in his eyes.
I thanked Danny for his help with the groceries and shut the apartment door. I’d known it before, but now it was clearer than ever: Drex wasn’t just successful and beyond smoking hot, he helped people. People like me.
As long as I was here with him, I would do everything I could to deserve it.
That night was the chef’s night off, so I decided to cook.
There was nothing I could think of that said thank you like making a meal just for Drex. I couldn’t remember any recipes – or even being in the kitchen, for that matter – but there were at least twenty cookbooks lined up neatly on a shelf in the pantry, and a few were simple enough for a beginner. Maybe I’d never made dinner before, but it couldn’t be that hard to measure out some ingredients and throw them all together. Could it?
As it turned out, peeling and deveining thirty shrimp was messier than I expected. One hour with a paring knife in my hand gone, only two more until Drex came home. I halved grape tomatoes, chopped garlic, minced parsley, poured a cup of white wine, and somehow got a little of everything on the slate tile floor. Diesel did her best to lick up the mess until the dog walker rang up to take her out. For some reason, being alone only made me feel worse.
“Where did you learn to be such a slob?” I muttered, going down on my knees to wipe the floor. As I was standing up, I banged my head on the edge of the counter and dropped the dirty paper towels on my foot.
With a hard sigh, I sat on the floor. Did everything have to be so hard? Couldn’t I even cook dinner without drama?
Everyone else Drex knew was living their life while I was struggling with the basics. He was out building a business, and I was wondering if I’d ever boiled water or made an omelet.
I dropped my parsley-flecked hands and looked – really looked, for the first time – at where I was. Boo-fucking-hoo. Here I was, feeling sorry for myself in the gleaming stainless steel kitchen of a spectacular penthouse apartment, where I was cooking dinner for my extremely hot lover. Things could be a whole lot worse. If anybody knew that, it was me.
“Buck up,” I said, getting to my feet. “You could be sleeping on a park bench right now.”
By the time Drex came home just after six, I’d mopped the floor, set the table, and changed into a red sundress. With the addition of a black apron I’d found hanging in the pantry, I could actually be mistaken from twenty feet away for a semi-domestic goddess.
“I thought we were going to order takeout tonight,” Drex said, surveying the countertop covered with prepared ingredients in small glass dishes. “What did I do to deserve this?”
“Nothing,” I said, going up on tiptoe to kiss him. “Everything.”
He looped a strong arm around my waist and squeezed. “Whatever it was, I should do it again.”
“Don’t say that until you’ve tasted my cooking,” I said. “Which you’ll be doing in half an hour.”
“I can’t wait. And by the way, you make that canvas apron look like skimpy lingerie.”
“Yeah, right,” I said, playfully shoving him toward the dining area. “Now get out of my kitchen or you know what I’ll do with this.” I held up a metal spatula.
Grinning, he spun out of the way. “Better a spatula than a cleaver.”
He was back five minutes later, looking so casually gorgeous in jeans and a heathered blue t-shirt that I shivered. He didn’t even have to try. Sexy was just who he was. No wonder all the single women in Houston were smitten with him. They couldn’t help it any more than I could.
While I sautéed the shrimp, Drex poured the wine and put jazz on the SoundDock. I could get used to this, and I was already doing just that. His apartment wasn’t just a beautiful place to stay for a while. It was starting to feel like home.
When I carried the platter of shrimp into the dining room, the lights were dimmed, the candles flickering, and the view of the sunset was stunning. Drex pulled out my chair, and I sat across from him at the long, burnished wood table.
“To not eating fried rice out of a take-out box,” he said, raising his glass. “The way I always do on Jason’s night off.”
Our glasses made a light ringing noise when they touched. The moment was so perfect, I wished I could freeze it and relive it again and again.
I served Drex first, then myself. “What do we have here?” he asked. “Besides a beautiful presentation?”
“Shrimp with artichokes, garlic, and tomatoes. It couldn’t be simpler.”
“Or smell more incredible,” he said.
I watched as he took his first bite, chewed, and swallowed. At first he had no reaction, and my stomach sank. Then he lifted his eyebrows and nodded. “I think we should add ‘professional cook’ to the list of possible
careers in your former life,” he said.
“Oh, come on,” I said, relief blooming in my chest.
“I’m serious,” he said, frowning. “This is amazing. And I say that as a guy with a chef on staff.”
“It must be my secret ingredient,” I said.
“Which is?”
A terrifying four-letter word danced on the tip of my tongue. I wouldn’t say it. I didn’t dare. “Um…pink peppercorns.”
“I didn’t know pink peppercorns existed,” he said. “Which goes to show how much time I spend in the kitchen.”
After finishing a heaping plate, he had a second helping of shrimp and finished the roasted asparagus. I couldn’t have felt more flattered, or happier that I’d taken a risk and cooked for him.
“Everything was delicious,” he said, pouring more wine into our glasses. “I mean it.”
It was only dinner, but I was so flattered I flushed. “Thank you. That’s quite a compliment, coming from a local hero.”
He stopped still. There was a moment of tense silence. “What do you mean?” he asked.
“Well, Danny helped me up with groceries this afternoon, and he said you found a missing girl.”
“Did he?” Drex suddenly looked drawn, his eyes cool and distant.
“What happened?” I asked. “You’ve never mentioned it.”
“I’m sure he made too much of it. It was no big deal.”
I gave him a confused frown. “A girl went missing and it was no big deal?”
“The media went nuts over my part in it, that’s all, the way they always do.”
“Well…what was your part in it?”
Drex sighed and flashed a strained smile. “You really want to hear about this?”
“Yes,” I said. “Please.”
Gaze cast down, he swirled his wine in his glass. “I had a good friend from high school, John. He lives about ten miles outside the city in the suburbs. Nice area, upscale homes, good schools. A couple of years ago his daughter, Grace, disappeared. She was only four then.”
I shook my head. “How awful. He must have been scared out of his mind.”
“He and his wife both. They were basket cases. They needed all the support they could get.”
“So you helped them look for her?”
“We all did. We were on the lacrosse team together in school, and all of us who still lived in the area came out to search.”
“I’m sure they were so grateful.”
“Yeah,” he said, shrugging.
I reached out and put my hand over his. “That must have been terrifying, looking for a child and not knowing what you’d find.”
“I’ll admit, it didn’t look good. It was summer, there was a heat wave, somebody thought they saw her getting into a strange car.”
“Oh, no. How awful.”
“Yeah,” he said. “So to see her still alive – it was a pretty amazing feeling.”
“You were the one who found her?”
“That’s right, about a mile away in this kind of undeveloped rocky area. She’d crossed three roads to get there. I couldn’t believe she was all right.”
“Why did you look there?”
The corners of his eyes tightened as he thought back. “I don’t know. It was a little out of the search area, but I had an instinct and I followed it.”
“Her parents must have been so grateful.”
He winced. “Not exactly.”
“What do you mean?” I said. “How is that possible?”
“Somebody – one of their friends, I didn’t know her – thought it was strange that I was the one who found Riley.” His voice was cold, almost mechanical.
“Strange how?”
“I was by myself, out of the search area…and I’d been one of the last people to see her at a barbecue a few hours before she disappeared.”
I gasped. “God, Drex.”
“I know. I don’t think my buddy ever believed it, but his wife – well, she wanted somebody to blame. Other than herself, of course, for not keeping a closer eye on her daughter.”
“But why choose you, of all people?”
His face was rigid with disappointment and anger. “She knew my background, that I hadn’t exactly been upstanding my entire life. It was easy to make me the scapegoat. Too easy.”
“I hope the police didn’t think you did it.”
“Not in the end, but they questioned me for a long time. Sometimes suspicion is all it takes. Everybody treats you like a criminal, and you start feeling like one, too. You wonder if you brought it on yourself.”
I swallowed down the knot in my chest. “I know that feeling well.”
“That’s why I kept giving in when you wanted to avoid the police,” he said, squeezing my hand. “I’ve been there. I wouldn’t wish it on anybody.”
“So…did they believe you? Are you still friends?”
His eyes were somber. “I tried to stay in touch. My buddy tried. But it was never the same. He knew I had nothing to do with Riley’s disappearance, but too much happened. We couldn’t pretend we were the same people anymore, and his wife wouldn’t let it go. To this day, I think she might actually believe I’m responsible for everything.”
My stomach clenched at the thought of him being blamed so unfairly. “That must make you furious. It makes me furious.”
“It wasn’t the first time I’ve been screwed trying to help somebody. All the times I’ve come to the rescue with my brother and Elijah, never even getting a thank you. The people I’ve given jobs and second chances…after the Grace incident, I decided I was done. No more.”
“Then…why did you stop for me?”
He gave me a slight smile. “I wish I knew, Blue Eyes. You just broke me from the start. I saw you and I had to get out of my truck. I had to make sure you were safe.”
“Safe?” I said, my heart withering. “So you rescued me. It’s what you do, just like Pierce said.”
A muscle twitched in his jaw. “It’s not what I do. Not anymore.”
“But it’s an instinct. You take in sad cases.”
“Jane, no. That’s not why you’re here.”
I dropped my napkin on the table. “Then why am I here? Does it make you feel strong, knowing I might not have made it without you?”
“I don’t like where this conversation is headed.” His voice was very calm, but emotion simmered underneath.
“Neither do I, but after what Pierce told me –”
Drex rolled his eyes. “Oh, well, if Pierce said it, it must be the truth.”
“What am I supposed to think? What should I believe?”
“Believe this,” he said, putting his hand to his chest. “Believe what you feel. Your body doesn’t lie. It knows what’s real.”
“It doesn’t know anything, Drex, anymore than my mind does.”
“The hell it doesn’t. What we do together – that doesn’t happen every day. If you had your memory, you’d know how rare it is.”
I took a breath to speak but the words wouldn’t come. He was right, and I knew it.
This wasn’t just another fling – it was a lot deeper than that. And it had happened so quickly, I’d hardly had time to think.
“It’s all so confusing,” I said. “I can hardly get my mind around it.”
“I know,” he said, coming around the table and squatting in front of me.
“I just need time to get used to this. It’s a lot to process.”
“Of course you do,” he said. His face brightened and he took my hands in his. “Listen – it’s a long weekend and I have Monday off. We should take a break and get the hell out of here.”
“And go where?” I asked.
“Where nobody can find us. Where there are no phones, no TVs, nothing but open space.”
“What about Diesel?”
“She’s spending a week with the dog trainer. He picks her up in the morning.”
I was dying to be with him, but I couldn’t ignore reality anymore. “We
can’t run away from what’s happening, Drex. You said that yourself.”
“We’re not running away. We’re taking a long weekend, that’s all.” He squeezed my fingers. “Think about it. Just us, a tent, and the stars. You’ve got to admit, it sounds pretty tempting.”
“It does,” I said, feeling a little kick of excitement. “Very.”
He smiled. That sexy grin alone could convince me to do anything. “Then pack a bag,” he said. “I want to be outta here first thing tomorrow.”
CHAPTER TWENTY
The next morning, Drex packed our food and clothes as if we were leaving for a month. “No cell phones allowed,” he said, leaving his and mine on the bedside table. “But sexy panties are encouraged.”
“Are eight pairs enough?”
He grinned. “Pack two more, just in case.”
Just before noon, we got into the truck and drove until we turned off a winding asphalt road onto dirt. We were officially in a different world now. All around us were high red cliffs and cottonwood trees, and a sky so sharply blue it almost hurt to look at it.
No one would find us out here. No one could if they tried.
It was easy to think we could go on like this forever if I never made my story public. If we let sleeping dogs lie, for years on end. I didn’t know who I’d been before, and I almost didn’t care. All I wanted was to belong to the man beside me.
We set up camp by a river in a picturesque, grassy valley dotted with purple wildflowers. This wasn’t camping as I’d imagined it, with a tiny tent and a few sticks of wet, smoky wood. This was roughing it Cougan-style, and that meant luxury.
“I like spending time outside,” he said, laying a tarp on the ground, “but I do it right. Ten years ago I’d be out here alone with nothing but a sleeping bag and some matches, but now I try to enjoy it a little more. It doesn’t stop me from camping, it just means I have to be more prepared when I do.”
I helped Drex put up a tent so spacious we could stand inside it. We spread out down sleeping bags and fluffy pillows on top of a thick air mattress, and hung up a lantern that cast a soft, pink glow.
Descended (The Red Blindfold Book 3) Page 18
