His chest expanded until it couldn’t contain any more of the mind-bending sensations spinning through him, making him dizzy. Hope. How long had it been since he’d opened up enough to get close to anyone, especially a woman? Fear and panic drove that fragile flicker away. Once Paige truly saw him for the wreck he was, she’d surely run the other way.
Desire stole his breath, and all thought momentarily left his head—until fear and panic kicked his ass again. Shit. Hope, fear, desire, panic, desire…hope. Warring emotions chased around inside him, until her tongue slid along his. Then his heart hammered away at the panic and the fear until the only thing left was the soft, warm miracle of having Paige in his arms. He struggled to keep his legs under him. Long before he was ready, she ended his brief foray into heaven and stepped out of his hold.
Scratching at her chin and cheeks, she blinked up at him. “That was like kissing my uncle’s sheepdog.”
Despite Noah’s warning, he couldn’t walk away, not from Paige. He raked a trembling hand through his hair. “Damn if you aren’t the most confounding woman I’ve ever met.”
“No doubt.” A grin tugged at her luscious lips.
He wanted more. He wanted to get drunk on her taste, on the feel of her warmth against him. She’d give ol’ J.W. a run for his money—that’s for damn sure. Maybe having Paige in his arms would keep his nightmares at bay.
“What happened to Theresa?”
“Dammit, Paige!” His brow shot up. “You read my letter?”
“Yes, I did, and if I had it all to do over, I’d read it again.” Her chin came up a defiant notch. “You mentioned she died, but you didn’t say how. What happened?”
“Trust me”—he stared out at the river and growled low in his throat—“you don’t want to know.”
“Don’t tell me what I want or don’t want. I asked, and I think it would be good for you to talk about it.”
“What, are you my shrink now?” All the good feelings he’d gleaned from their kiss disappeared. What right did she have to poke around in his shit? Wait. He wanted to poke around in hers, right? He glanced at her. “Quid pro quo.”
“Huh?”
“I’ll tell you everything if you do the same.”
“What are you talking about?” She frowned. “I don’t have anything to tell.”
“Sure you don’t.” He tried his best to imitate Noah’s commander stare. “What brought you to Perfect, little girl? You’re hiding something, and I want to know what it is.”
“Crap.” Her face fell, and her shoulders slumped.
Ryan wanted to kiss the distress right out of her. Instead, he held his ground, feeling a little better now that he was off the hot seat.
“All right.” She glanced at him through her lashes. “It’s a deal. I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.”
“You’ve already seen mine, darlin’.” He winked, and a glimmer of a smile curved her sexy lips. He liked that he had that effect on her.
“Not here, though.” Paige glanced back toward the big house. “This stays between you and me. Agreed?”
“Agreed.” What the hell could she possibly have to hide? “I’ve been meaning to take a trip into Evansville for some art supplies. How about coming with me? Let’s go tomorrow after Noah and Ceejay get home. We can grab some lunch and do some snooping around. I also have to stop by the VA center to make a couple of appointments. It won’t take long.”
“Now, see, if you had a phone, you could call and make those appointments.” She gave him a pointed look. “We’ll pick one out tomorrow.”
He groaned. “If you insist.” Her answering smile set off another chain reaction of hope, lust, and panic. Seeing a therapist sounded better and better every minute. He had no idea how to deal with everything this little spitfire stirred up inside him. Swallowing hard, he stiffened his spine against the onslaught. “I’ll pick you up around eleven.”
“I’ll be ready.”
“Vintage .357s like the one you chucked into the river don’t come cheap. You owe me. You’ll be the one buying my phone, little girl.”
“Don’t count on that, little boy.” She turned away and started walking. “Go get ready for work. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
His gaze fixed on her curvaceous form as she sashayed toward the big house. Was she swaying those hips a bit more for his benefit? A grin broke free. Hoh. When was the last time he’d smiled just because? Damn. He had a date.
Toby was down for his nap. Finally. Who knew taking care of a fifteen-month-old would be so exhausting? Paige plopped onto the living room couch next to the baby monitor. She opened her laptop and brought up the job search site while her mind went back to the morning’s drama. Ryan’s kiss had shaken her world—not that she’d let him see it.
She couldn’t help comparing. Anthony’s kisses had never affected her the way Ryan’s did. His touch, the way he held her so close, like he wanted their bodies to meld, sent orgasmic currents of heat sizzling through her, along with a yearning so deep she almost started tearing up again just thinking about it. Dang. She’d lost her breath—and a little bit of her heart.
Oh, man. Her heart.
Had she really agreed to spend the day with him, as in a date? Not a good idea. Maybe she could play it like it was nothing more than two friends hanging out. She needed to remain focused on her goals. Ryan Malloy didn’t fit into her schemes, not to mention the fact that the man didn’t just have baggage. He had his own designer set of luggage when it came to emotional issues, and she was not prepared to deal with them on any level other than as a friend helping out a friend.
Plus, she’d only be here for another week or so. If she could pretend that he didn’t tug at every single tender part of her the way he did, everything would be fine. No reason she couldn’t be here for him for another week. Then she could head home to Philly, go on interviews, and get her life back on track.
An opening for a John Deere account executive for the Pennsylvania, Maryland, and Delaware region caught her eye. Definitely a male-dominated industry. She read it through, tweaked her cover letter to match what they were looking for, and shot them a response. Moving on, she found a few other possibilities and sent three more résumés. How many did that make now? Eight. She had eight résumés out there. Surely she’d hear back from a few.
It might take weeks before anyone got back to her, though. They’d take résumés for a while; then HR would review the applicants. First interviews. Second interviews. Background checks. She hadn’t even listed Ramsey & Weil in her job history. What if something about her firing turned up in a background check? How would she deal with it? She cringed as the familiar burn of humiliation churned through her.
By the time she was done with her job search for the day, it was after three, and Toby hadn’t made a peep. Taking the baby monitor from its jack, she rose from the couch and headed outside to meet Lucinda’s bus.
The school bus pulled up just as she got to the highway. Lucinda hopped out, gripping a large piece of white construction paper.
“What do you have there?” Paige held out her hand.
“A picture of Johnny Appleseed.” Lucinda gave her the picture.
As they walked back to the house, Paige studied the stick figure with its tangled yellow hair and equally wild beard. The resemblance to Ryan brought a smile to her face. A few apple trees made up the background, with fat, red apples scattered across the ground. “Wow, you really did a great job of capturing Johnny’s likeness. Let’s put this on the refrigerator.”
“You know what, Auntie Paige?”
She smiled down at her niece, and a rush of love for the adorable little girl filled her. “What, honey?”
“If you marry Johnny Appleseed, you could stay with us forever.”
Her heart tripped—partly from the fact that Lucinda wanted her to stay and partly from the images getting into bed with Ryan Malloy sent streaking through her imagination. She tucked the drawing under her arm and shifted the baby monitor s
o she could reach for Lucinda. “You want me to stay forever?”
Her niece clasped the offered hand and nodded. “You could live in the big house with us, and your husband can stay in the carriage house.”
Paige chuckled. “Don’t you think Johnny Appleseed might want to live with his wife in the same place?”
“I guess.” Lucinda shrugged, as if the question didn’t merit a great deal of consideration.
“Ted is bringing pizza and movies in a couple of hours. Do you want a snack to tide you over?”
“Mommy always gives me a ’nola bar or graham crackers and fruit.” She looked up at her aunt with a hopeful expression. “Can I have ice cream instead?”
“I think we’d better stick with your routine.” Toby’s babbling burst from the monitor. “Let’s go get your brother, and you can both have a snack while you tell me all about your day.”
“Toby!” Lucinda hurried up the stairs to the front door. “Don’t let him get hold of my picture.” She turned to Paige as she opened the front door. “He’ll tear it up. He’s just a baby, and he doesn’t know any better. That’s what Daddy says.”
“Your dad is a smart man.”
“I know.” Lucinda’s head bobbed in agreement. “I have the best daddy in the world, and you know what, Auntie Paige?”
“No, what?” She set the monitor and picture down on the credenza next to the stairs.
“He picked me to be his daughter. My bi-logical daddy died, and my real daddy ’dopted me.”
“I do know. Did you know that your biological dad was my half brother, and my mom is your biological grandmother? That makes me your aunt, and I don’t even have to adopt you.” They’d reached Toby’s door by the time she and Lucinda had gone over the ties that bound them as a family. She opened the door to find Toby standing up against the railing of his crib. All his stuffed animals now littered the floor. He gave her a toothy grin and bounced up and down.
“Down. Down,” he squealed.
“That’s for sure, squirt.” She picked up all the toys on her way to the crib and tossed them back in before lifting him. “Oooph. You’re soaking and stinky, little man.”
He patted her face and put his head on her shoulder. “Mamamamamama.”
“I know, buddy. She’ll be home tomorrow.” She laid him down on the Langford & Lovejoy changing table to clean him up.
“Auntie Paige, if you marry Johnny Appleseed, he’ll be my uncle.”
“You certainly are relentless.”
“What’s relentless?” Lucinda’s expression turned serious.
“You don’t give up. That’s the Langford part coming through.”
“Oh.” Another little girl shrug. “If you marry Johnny Appleseed, and he turns into my uncle, I could bring him to school for show-and-tell.”
“Aha. The ulterior motive is revealed.” She laughed. “I’ll think about it.” The memory of Ryan’s kiss sent a thrill of anticipation traipsing through her. Right or wrong, she couldn’t wait to spend the day with him tomorrow.
By the time she’d fed the two children their snack, played with them on the living room floor, bathed them, and wrestled them both into their jammies, she was exhausted. With Toby perched on her hip, the three of them made their way downstairs, with Sweet Pea taking up the rear, just as the front door opened.
“Pizza time,” Ted announced as he walked in, holding two cardboard boxes with a pile of DVDs stacked on top.
“Pizza, pizza!” Lucinda jumped up and down. “What kind did you bring?”
“One cheese and one with everything on it.” Ted handed her a few of the DVDs. “Here, Luce. Pick out a movie for you and Toby.”
“Toby won’t care. He’s too little.” She looked at each one carefully. “Tangled—that’s the one I want to watch.”
“Tangled it is.” Ted smiled at Paige and nodded toward the boxes of pizza. “Do you want to eat these in front of the TV or in the kitchen?”
She snorted. “Have you ever seen Toby eat?”
“Good point. Kitchen it is.”
She followed him into the kitchen and put a squirming Toby into his high chair. “I should’ve waited until after he ate to bathe him.” She put a large bib around his neck and snapped it into place, giving the toddler a stern look. “No messes, little man. Understand?” He slapped the tray with both hands and bounced in his chair. She laughed. “One tiny piece at a time, then.”
Ted put plates on the table and opened the boxes. The delicious, cheesy smell made her mouth water. “Lucinda, would you please get me a fork and a knife so I can cut this up for Toby?”
“I got it.” Ted fetched silverware and napkins. “Where’s his sippy cup? I’ll get their milk.”
“In the dishwasher. It’s clean.” She sent him a grateful look. “They can both have chocolate milk tonight.”
Lucinda’s eyes widened. “Did Mommy say we can?”
“She did.” Paige tousled her niece’s chestnut curls. “We’re having a party.”
“Why?”
“Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth, Luce.” Ted put a glass of chocolate milk in front of her, pulled a piece of cheese pizza from the box, and set it on her plate.
“I’m getting a gift horse?” Her face lit up. “I’m not ten yet. Mommy says I gotta be ten first.”
“Uh, no. It’s just an expression.” Ted pulled another piece of cheese pizza from the box and placed it on the plate next to Paige. “That’s for Toby. Do you want cheese or deluxe?”
“I want a piece of both. Thanks. You’re really good at this kid stuff, Ted. Most guys would’ve sat down and helped themselves, leaving me to take care of everything.”
“I’m not ‘most guys.’ When I have a family, I plan to be an equal partner in the child-rearing and housekeeping duties. Most women today have jobs. No reason why the work at home shouldn’t be shared.”
The intensity in his eyes as he looked at her made her vaguely uncomfortable. The way he’d placed his hand at the small of her back the other day came back to her, and Ceejay’s words rang in her ears. Great. The last thing she wanted was for there to be any awkwardness between them. “Sit down and eat. We have movies to watch.”
She turned her attention to cutting Toby’s pizza into bite-size pieces. Should she say something? No. She was probably imagining things.
Dinner went by quickly, with Lucinda and Toby chattering away between mouthfuls, and she relaxed. Ted emptied the dishwasher and loaded it back up with their plates and glasses while she wiped the tomato sauce and cheese off Toby and got him out of the high chair.
“Who’s ready for Tangled?” Ted rubbed his hands together and winked at Lucinda.
“I am.” Lucinda snatched the DVDs from the counter and took off for the family room, which had once been a front parlor. Ceejay and Noah had turned it into a cozy space with a large LCD TV and a sectional couch that formed a U around an oversize ottoman. A brick fireplace took up one wall, and the mantel held a ton of happy-faced family pictures.
Paige took some of Toby’s toys out of the wooden box they kept in the room and set them on the rug next to the couch. Once his feet hit the floor, he toddled over to his toy box and started tossing the contents all over the room. She sighed. “You’re high maintenance, Toby.”
Ted laughed. “I have lots of nieces and nephews. He’s pretty typical for a boy.” He grabbed the remote, loaded the DVD, and hit play. “He’ll wear out soon.”
“I only hope I last as long as he does.” She sighed and sank into the cushy sectional. “My respect for Ceejay and Noah has grown by leaps and bounds after today. I don’t know how they do it.”
Ted grinned. “They plan to have four.”
“Auntie Paige, you know what?” Lucinda climbed up to settle in beside her.
“No—what, squirt?” Paige hugged her close.
“I’m always going to be the oldest sister.”
“That you are.” Paige caught Ted’s look of amusement and returned it. The movie starte
d, and she settled in to watch. Toby played happily in the middle of the mess he’d created, while Lucinda held a couple of Barbie dolls and watched the movie. Occasionally, she yawned, and soon the dolls were set aside and she leaned against her. Toby came over and placed his chubby hands on Paige’s knees.
“Up, up.” He rubbed an eye with a fist and yawned.
“Come here, you.” Ted picked him up. Toby stuck two fingers in his mouth and laid his head on Ted’s shoulder.
“You’re a natural.” Paige glanced at Toby as his eyes closed.
“I’ve done a lot of babysitting. I have older siblings who are married with children, not to mention all the cousins.” Ted shrugged a shoulder. “I like kids. I want a few of my own someday.”
“You’re a rarity. Most guys your age are out partying and whooping it up. Having a family is the last thing a twenty-one-year-old guy thinks about.” She shook her head.
“I’m not so young I don’t know what I want.” He shot her a heated stare.
Gah! Did she have no sense at all? Talking about family and kids with him was far too intimate. Sitting here with the children, watching a movie like they were a family? Huge mistake. She was going to have to set him straight—and soon.
“He’s out.” Ted put his arm around Toby and rose from the couch. “I’ll take him upstairs and put him down.”
“You want me to do it? He’ll need changing first.”
“Nope. I got it.”
Paige played with Lucinda’s curls and wondered how she could keep her friendship with Ted from dissolving into hurt feelings.
“Auntie Paige.” Lucinda sighed.
“What, honey?”
“You gotta marry Johnny Appleseed.”
She grinned and gazed down at her niece. “Why is that?”
Lucinda tucked her legs up on the couch and laid her head on Paige’s shoulder. “’Cause he needs you.”
The Difference a Day Makes (Perfect, Indiana: Book Two) Page 7
