Kat finishes off the last of her meatloaf—I can’t believe she actually ate any of it, let alone all of it—and pushes her plate away. “Hey, are you ready for your present now?”
I raise my eyebrows at her. “Geez, Kat. In front of everyone? It’s great that you’re not ashamed of your sexuality and all, but I kind of thought we’d wait until we were alone for that.”
She smacks my arm. “Your other present.” She reaches down by her feet and pulls up a birthday-themed gift bag. “Happy birthday, Damien.”
I pull out all the purple tissue paper until I get to the actual present. It’s a stuffed octopus, kind of like First Mate Suckers, only this one is pink and has little hearts all over it.
“I found her around Valentine’s Day,” Kat says. “Her name’s Octavia Suckers. She’s First Mate Suckers’s wife.”
“Obviously.” One of her tentacles has a sticker at the end that says Press here! I squeeze the button, and she starts singing a song by Super Star, which is a cheesy pop band that also happens to be my favorite. “Thanks, Kat. She’s really awesome.”
The waitress comes back with Zach’s sauce. She scowls at all the tissue paper everywhere as she clears away some of our plates. “I’ll bring the check.”
Sarah holds up a finger. “Separate checks, please.”
The waitress mutters something under her breath and storms off.
“It’s supposedly bad luck to have a woman on board a pirate ship,” Kat says, “but First Mate Suckers and Octavia defy the rules, because their love can’t be tamed.”
“And yet, they live apart. So tragic.” I look around at everyone. “That’s two amazing presents from Kat”—even if her second present hasn’t happened yet, I think it’s safe to assume it will be amazing—“and zero from the rest of you.”
“My leg’s broken,” Riley says. “It’s hard to get anywhere.”
“That’s your excuse for everything these days. And you might have heard of this thing called the internet? You can use it to order presents from the comfort of your own home.”
“I got you something, too,” Zach says, “but I left it at the house.”
“Convenient.”
“It’s from both of us,” Amelia adds.
“Right. So, you didn’t get me anything, either. My own sister.”
“I’m still working on your present,” Sarah says. “I’m a little rusty after my hiatus, but the guys at the retirement home have been giving me some pointers, and I think my skills are really improving.”
“Does this present explode? No, wait, don’t tell me. You’ll ruin the surprise.”
“What did your parents get you?” Kat asks.
“Me and Gordon are going to see Super, that new musical that’s coming to town.”
Amelia makes a little yelp. “Not fair. I wanted to see that. I’ve been talking about it all week!”
“It’s starring... Wait, let me think. Who’s in it?”
“Joanna Jones! She’s only my favorite actress. And singer.”
“Oh, is she? I had no idea.”
“Yes, you did! You saw me putting that picture of her up on my wall, the one from my magazine. Maybe Dad will take me, too.”
“It’s only playing for three nights—it’s a special showing—and the tickets are sold out already. Plus, it’s not your birthday. Too bad.”
“Uh!” Amelia gives me a really sour look. “You’re doing this on purpose, aren’t you?”
“Doing what on purpose? Turning seventeen and letting Gordon, who’s missed every one of my birthdays so far, finally give me a birthday present? Yeah, wow, that’s really devious of me.”
“You knew I was dying to see that! And it’s a romantic comedy.”
“So?”
“So, it’s something I would like. It’s for girls. There’s a song in it about her getting her superpower and realizing her power as a woman on the same day.”
“And boys can’t enjoy that? Way to be sexist.”
“I’ve never even heard you say you like musicals, and now you’re making Dad take you to the one you know I wanted to go to?”
“I’m not making him. He wanted to do something together. Just the two of us. He said I could pick anything.”
“And you couldn’t pick something that you actually like?”
“Who said I don’t like it?” Plus, going to this will annoy the hell out of her for a long time. It’s the gift that keeps on giving.
“I take back what I said. Zach’s present isn’t from both of us.”
“Oh, no. Anything but that.”
The waitress comes back with our checks. Sarah glances at them and starts passing them out. We all get our money out to pay, though none of us moves to leave yet.
“Just think,” Kat says, “a year ago, you didn’t even know you had a dad. And now you’re going to your first women’s musical together.”
“First Heroes on Ice, and now this,” Amelia whines.
“Yeah, at this rate, by my next birthday, I’ll have done everything you want to do. Probably twice.” I look meaningfully at Zach.
He wiggles his eyebrows. “Only twice?”
“I don’t want to cheapen our relationship. I respect you too much. Quality over quantity.”
“Hey,” Kat says.
“Aw, you know you’re always quality.” I pull her close to me and kiss the side of her head. “And I respect you way too much to deprive you of all this.” I gesture to myself.
Kat laughs. “You’d better.”
“I do. But if you need me to prove it to you, the backseat of your car is right outside.”
“Ew,” Amelia says. “I sat there on the way here.”
“Relax. We’ve never actually done it in the car.”
“Well, not in my car,” Kat says.
“Whose?” Riley asks, narrowing his eyes at me.
“Not yours, Perkins. Geez. You’re so paranoid.” Though we did make out pretty hard in there once.
“It was my parents’ car,” Kat mumbles, sounding a little embarrassed.
“Oh.” Sarah’s eyes light up. “You and your grandma have that in—”
I stand up, clapping my hands together. “All right, that’s it! Party’s over. Thanks for coming. Being seventeen is great. Sarah, you’re not invited next year.”
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Special thanks goes out to my beta readers, Chloë Tisdale, Karen Kincy, and Ryan Hayes, who all insisted this book was awesome, even when I couldn’t see it. You guys were right, of course.
Thanks also to Phillip Russell Newman and Daniel Warneke, the narrator/producer team behind the Renegade X audiobooks. When I set out to find the right voice for Damien, I never imagined I’d find someone as perfect for it as Phil.
And thanks to Raul Allen, who makes the most amazing book covers.
And last—but definitely not least—thanks to all my readers who fell in love with this series and keep asking for more. Yes, there will be another book.
SPECIAL THANKS TO THE FOLLOWING CITIZENS OF GOLDEN CITY
Sales Man, V
Compels subjects valued patrons that they haven't lived until they've tried this overpriced product. Spell can only be broken by violating the warranty
Shadow Zap, V
Electricity
Breeze, V
Tornado breath
Accelerator Ray, H
Kinetic manipulation
C>rimson Leopard, H
Firebreathing, super agility
U>amada, H
Patience
Fusion, H
Transforms into human/animal hybrid
Nano of the North, V
Swarm army (swarmy, if you will) of refrigerant nanobots
Violet Smoke, H
Teleportation
The Librarian, H
Able to silence villains with a single book
Caymen, V
Body morphing
Nature Woman, H
Able to communicate with, and con
trol the actions of, animals
Kesal Exuo, V
Technopath
The Plaid Matter, H
Can turn anything plaid
The Deaf Lemon, V
Able to communicate with citrus fruit
Ah-hoo, V
Excessively violent sneezing. These sneezes can be summoned at a moment's notice, propelling the sneezer up and back a distance of 15-20 ft. as a concussive shock wave flattens anyone or anything in front of her. Unfortunately these sneezes move the sneezer regardless of any structures in her way, and she does not have unbreakable bones, so she generally relies on stealth and obsessive observation to accomplish her goals
Sourpuss, V
Able to curdle dairy
MK the Pig-Tailed Overlord, V
The power to freeze things and people
Dragonstar, H
Energy manipulation
Ryoku Mourn, H
Teleportation
Lord Wilco, V
Grand technomancer
Bibliotheca, H
Literary teleportation
The Late Ace, H
Tardiness
N/A, V
Able to bypass required fields in a single bound
Lord Keffingstar, V
Shoots landsharks out of his eyes
Tasha “Queen Esther” Lennhoff, H
Healing
Talia, V
The ability to make everyone eat too much sugar
Master Sculptor, V
Body/mind molding
Pyroscream, V
Flight and pyrokinesis
Light Em Up, V
Controls light to generate concussive blasts from his palms and moves at light speed by adjusting the properties of the light around him
Storm Cat, H
Weather control
The Amazing Sponge Man, H
The ability to absorb liquids and get squishy
The Ingenious Mrs. H, H
People can’t use improper grammar around her
The Mysterious Lady N, V
Teleportation
Super Jymn, H
Fast typist
Bookdragon, H
The ability to hoard and protect books
Kravix, V
Able to make multiple copies of himself and all gear he is wearing
Thud, H
Invulnerability. (Good thing, too, as he is ridiculously clumsy.) Most all his villain captures are the result of him falling on them. He waits on top of tall buildings, and, as he leaps from one to the next, when villainy occurs, his luck kicks in. He trips and plummets down to make the capture with his trademark THUD!
Chris “Warcabbit” Hare, H
Super-coordination
Scantrontb, V
Power of indecision
Clockwork Rose, H
Inventor
The ExoFlasher, V
Can control clothing
The Engineer, H
Technical detective
Lustra, H
Her beams of light convert anyone hit by them into a friendly pacifist
Dark Thea, H
Can morph into any animal
Kensei, H
The ability to see spirits
Single Entendre Man, H
People always get his meaning
“Cinder Ellie” Harrison, H
Fire princess
Miki the Dabbler Girl, H
Can do anything once
Professor Photosynthesis, H
Making plants grow
Dark Deviance, V
Able to manipulate the confidence and insecurities of those within a five-foot radius
Indigo, H
Weaver of illusions and dreams
Rhel ná DecVandé, H
Logistics
Jargon, V
Confuses enemies by spewing technical jargon at them
Gertjan, V
In de weg staan
Ion, H
Electrical
Raziel, H
Indestructible, also has the power of flight
Phantom Photon, H
Ability to turn matter into light and light into matter
Equivocator, V
Web of confusion
Revamp, H
Alters reality (slightly)
Captain Sunlight, H
X-ray vision on Lego models
Pschye, V
Brings soulmates together, or keeps them apart, depending on her mood
The Toymaker, H
Making toys come to life
Captain Page, V
Ability to control and manipulate paper
Simpleton, H
Common sense
Fzz, V
Magic
Chad Bowden, V
Can transform into any animal
Absolute Shelving, H
Library clairvoyance
Wolf, H
Possesses the senses, instincts, agility, and stamina of a canine. He also frequently chases cats up trees and attacks mailmen
Possibly, V
Manipulates chance, increasing the probability of a particular event’s outcome. Results can range unpredictably from lucky guessing safe combinations to evading police due to a collision with an overturned fruit cart and a flock of unexpected emus
Stormfire, V
Control over fire
Sumasuun, V
The ability to customize/modify inanimate objects
Al A Bi, V
Didn’t do it
Quantum Scourge, V
Ability to change space-time
Indigo Crusader, H
Teleportation
Azure Flame, H
Pyrokinesis
Tubthumper, H
Always gets back up no matter the damage. His first death/terrible injury was in the tub. Everyone thought he was dead with the odd angle of his neck. Then he got back up again good as new. His family jokingly nicknamed him from the sound he made that fateful night
The Antikytheran, V
Technokinesis
Simina, H
Superpower-less
MasterMouse, H
Shapeshifting
Captain Punch, H
Teleportation
Collateral Damage Man, H
Earthquakes
The Procrastinator, V
Will think of it later
The Grad Student, V
The ability to turn coffee into mathematical theorems
The Fantastic Feline, H
Flight
Zephyr, H
Aerokinesis
Daimadoshi, V
Teleportation
Charter, V
When he says “hit by a bus,” a bus falls out of the sky on his target
Anomaly, H
Loses his power every few weeks, then develops a new one after a few days
Ms. Liberty, H
Kicking ass
Raven King, V
Flight
Forge, H
Creates physical constructs with his mind
Sofer, H
The ability to pluck magical items/weapons from books
Amazing Mandy Wultsch, H
Speed reading
Mr. Zero, V
Probability
Rhea Silver, H
Healing
The Rockstar, V, H
Creates ultrasonic waves
Airy Harvester, V
Uses wind to carry away objects within 10 meters
Titaniumman, H
Strength
James Pratt, H
Can fix anything
Autumn Pratt, H
Has a green thumb
Zzzzzzzzzzzz!, V
Showing up last in the thank-you section of the book
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
CHELSEA M. CAMPBELL grew up in the Pacific Northwest, where it rains a lot, and then rains some more. She finished her first novel when she was twelve, sent it out, and promptly got rejected. Since then, she’s earned a degr
ee in Latin and Ancient Greek, become an obsessive knitter and fiber artist, and started a collection of glass grapes.
Besides writing, studying ancient languages, and collecting useless objects, Chelsea is a pop-culture fangirl at heart and can often be found rewatching episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Parks and Recreation, or dying a lot in Dark Souls. You can visit her online at www.chelseamcampbell.com.
The Betrayal of Renegade X (Renegade X, Book 3) Page 37
