by Ali Vali
The door slid open, and Jefferson and Tucker joined her. She stood and prepared to leave.
“Monique, perhaps you should—” Jefferson said, but Tucker waved him off.
“Mom and Dad might have some questions, so stay,” Tucker said as she took the spot where Monique had been.
An older couple joined them and stood on the other side of the bed, and the room got crowded when a young man and woman joined in. Monique recognized Jim Bob’s family from the pictures he’d shown her.
“Constance is on her way to tell us the results of all the tests.”
“What happens now?” Tara asked. “You cut Mom out. She should be here.”
“I explained what your father wanted and she chose to leave. No one excluded her from anything, so put the hostility away for a minute. You may not think so, but your father deserves peace as well as respect.” Tucker spoke forcefully but not loudly. “That means shut up and listen.”
“Hello, everyone,” Constance said. The paper in her hand seemed to hold the verdict and everyone in the room stared at it. “I wish I had better news.”
Jefferson put his arm around Monique as Constance explained that Jim Bob basically had no viable brain activity. The damage of lying on the bathroom floor with no oxygen going to his brain was irreversible, and only the machines were keeping him alive.
“Jesus,” Monique said softly, and Jefferson held her tighter.
“Can you tell us exactly what that means?” Tucker asked.
Monique leaned against Jefferson, never more afraid of an answer.
“We all have to accept that the Jim Bob you knew and loved is gone. It’s always the medic’s job to resuscitate, but that’s not always the best course.” Constance moved and took Tucker’s mom’s hand when she started to cry.
Tucker nodded, but all she wanted to do was shake Jim Bob until he woke up and proved Constance wrong. If this was some kind of cosmic joke, it wasn’t fucking funny. “What if we give him time? You remember him and what a fighter he is.”
“I do remember him, and how full of life he always was. This time, he can’t fight his way back, Tucker—the damage is too extensive and irreversible. The brain unfortunately isn’t very resilient when it comes to repairing itself when it’s this bad. I’m so sorry. The best thing is to let him go. I’m confident he would want you to make that decision for him since he can’t do it for himself.” Constance stepped closer to her and put her arm around her waist. “I know what I’m asking of you is the hardest thing you’ve faced up to now, but he’s not coming back.”
“My poor boy.” Her mom sobbed, turning and hanging on to the rail. Bubba stood behind her and held her up, appearing shocked.
“Can we talk about it?” Tucker asked and Constance nodded.
“I’ll wait for you at the nurses’ station. Take your time and discuss it as a family. No one ever wants to make this choice, but you have to remember that Jim Bob made his intensions clear in the paperwork he left behind. All you all need to do is respect his wishes.”
It was foolish, but she didn’t want to have a family discussion in front of Jim Bob. The nurse must’ve sensed her hesitation and pointed them to a private consultation room by the exit doors. Tucker helped Bubba with her mother, and she didn’t see the point in putting off the inevitable any longer.
“What does everyone think?” she asked as an opener.
“We had our differences, but she’s right,” Tara said. “He wouldn’t want this.”
“I agree,” Bubba said, appearing lost. “I don’t want to rush into this, but I think that doctor is right. He’s not coming back.”
“I don’t want to decide this,” Stella said. “He’s my son, and he was supposed to bury me, goddammit. Don’t make me decide, Tucker, I can’t.”
“I’ll take care of it, Mama, so go back and sit with him while I talk to Constance.” She knelt in front of her mom and simply let her mother cry as she held her. Her dad nodded in her direction as if agreeing with her that what they were doing was the right thing.
“Come back and let us know,” her dad said when he took over holding her mom.
Tucker walked to the nurses’ station, each footstep leaden, her heart breaking. “I can’t believe I’m going to ask this, but how does this work?” she asked Constance.
“All we need to do is remove the ventilator, and we’ll be done.” Constance hugged her and rubbed her back. “I really am sorry about this, Tucker. If there was any chance at all he’d survive this, you know I’d tell you.”
“I do know, but do me a favor and get a priest in there. It’ll make my mother feel better, and there’s no sense not hedging our bets,” she said, thinking Jim Bob would want the same thing. He’d been a bigger part of the church than she had, but they shared the same faith. She just didn’t need to sit in a church every Sunday to express it.
“I hate to ask, but the other thing you should consider now is organ donation. I’m not sure if that was part of all the legal planning you had, but he’s a perfect candidate and it’d make a huge difference to a lot of folks on the waiting lists.”
“It’s on his driver’s license, so set it up.”
They all stood around the bed as a priest gave Jim Bob his last rites. Once he was done, everyone said their good-byes and wanted to leave before Constance did what was necessary. Tucker couldn’t leave him to die alone, though, and she stood holding his hand. The woman with Jefferson hesitated but left when he took her hand. Bubba was the only one who stayed, and he cried softly as Jim Bob took one more breath once the ventilator was removed, and that was all. His heart took longer to stop beating.
“Your heart was always your best quality, brother. You go and rest easy, but save me a drink since we’ll be seeing each other again.” She kissed his forehead before leading Bubba away to their new reality.
“What’s going to happen to us now, Aunt Tucker?” Bubba was still crying and she knew his emotions were genuine. For all his immaturity, Bubba had loved his father and they’d been close until recently.
“We’re going to bury your dad, and then we’re going to figure it all out. No matter what was going on in his life, you need to remember that your father loved you. You were his son, and he loved you.”
“He wasn’t proud of me, though.”
“You could’ve sat around eating peanuts all day, Bubba, and he’d have been proud of you. It’s why he gave you his name.” She held him by the biceps and waited until he looked her in the eye. “Your job now is to take care of your mother and sister. Be the man he wanted you to be.”
“Thanks, Aunt Tucker. I’ll take them home as soon as I call Trixie.”
“I need to share some stuff your father wanted you to know about your future plans, but not until this is over.”
“I’m going to marry her, and I know y’all are against it, but I’m not changing my mind.” His grief seemed to die at the appearance of his anger.
“You can marry her with my blessings, Bubba, but you have to make some arrangements first, for your protection. It’s something your father wanted to talk to you about, but obviously he’s not getting that chance.”
“If you’re talking about a prenup, that’ll be insulting to Trixie.”
Bubba appeared ready to blow, so Tucker put her hand up to shut him down. “I said we’re not talking about this now. Get the damn thing or don’t, I couldn’t give a damn—you’re not my responsibility, which means it’s not my job to protect you from yourself. What you are going to do is talk to Jefferson before you walk anyone down the aisle.”
“That sounds like a threat.” Bubba seemed to have forgotten Jim Bob’s death as he clenched his fists. Either that or he wanted to take his grief out on her face.
“That’s not a threat, boy. They’re words you need to remember when Trixie’s living it up with the first asshole she’ll find after you, and you’re living in a tent under an overpass eating beans out of a can.”
She walked out and escorted her pare
nts to the car Syd had ordered. She wouldn’t have this conversation now, and she’d be damned if this was the memory she was left with on the day of her brother’s passing.
“How could this have happened?” her dad said as he held her mom.
Her mother seem to have lost the ability to speak, and Tucker realized she’d have to spend more time with them as they all tried to process this. “You know there’s no good answer to that, Dad.” Tucker held her mother’s hand and had a hard time imagining life without her best friend. “He certainly was one of a kind.”
“You both are, in your own unique ways, but we can all take comfort that he lived a full life, even though it was way too short,” her dad said.
“He lived every day to the fullest, and all we need to do is figure out how to do that ourselves going forward.” The words came out, but she couldn’t fathom how her days would look without her brother in them.
* * *
“What’s going on?” Willow asked when Jefferson finally answered his phone. She’d driven around the hospital numerous times until she found a parking spot near the emergency entrance, then spent her time worrying about how Monique was doing.
“Meet us out front.” Jefferson sounded subdued.
“Tell me.” The ache in her chest told her what the answer was, and she hurt for Monique. All the joy her sister had felt was gone, and while it wasn’t the night to think about it, she had to help Monique find a way to keep everything she had, as well as take care of Grady. Without Jim Bob’s financial backing, she didn’t know if Monique could make it on her own.
“Not now, okay?”
“I’m on my way.” She hung up and started for the front. “Let’s hope you didn’t forget everyone in your family, Jim Bob, and you haven’t left Monique and Grady out in the cold. I’d hate to think you’ll be an asshole even in death.”
She turned the corner and stopped close to the door, gazing at Tucker as she walked out with an older couple. All the words she’d stupidly spewed at Tucker hit her conscience like a club to the head. She couldn’t take back the words, and she couldn’t face Tucker again after what she’d said.
“Monique,” Jefferson said when he guided Monique into the passenger seat, “take a few days, then we’ll talk when you’re ready to come back.”
“Thank you,” Willow said when Monique only nodded. She got out of the car and stopped Jefferson from leaving. “Can you tell me what happened?” She wanted to spare Monique from having to relay the story.
“They were able to bring back his heart, but the lack of oxygen to his brain was too much to overcome. He passed quickly after they stopped life support. I’m worried about how Monique is going to handle this. It was hard to miss that ring on her finger.” Jefferson blew out a breath and she could tell he’d been crying. “There’s that and the fact that Grady looks like a little Delacroix clone no matter what his last name is.”
“We’ll do it together, but you’re right. This is going to be hard.”
Jefferson bent and kissed Monique’s cheek through the open car window. “We’ve never discussed your relationship with Jim Bob, and I’ll try to give you your privacy, but I’m really sorry for your loss. You know Jim Bob and I have been friends since we were toddlers, and I hadn’t seen him as happy as he’s been recently in a very long time. He was happy because of you, and he loved you, so you should take comfort in that.”
“Thank you.” Monique seemed to stare at the ring on her hand and didn’t say anything else.
“I’ll give you a call, Jefferson, and I appreciate you including Monique tonight.” The drive back to the house was made in silence, and Willow took care of putting Grady back down as Monique went to bed.
She lay with Monique, hoping her presence was enough to make her sister feel better because she really had no words that would take away her pain.
“I’m sorry for all the things I said about him. The most important thing I should’ve realized in all this was you loved him. Because you did, so he must have been a good man.”
“You don’t have to say that because he’s dead.” Monique didn’t roll over and face her, and Willow knew one apology wasn’t going to fix what was broken between them on this subject.
“I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it. You know that about me. I was angry at the situation and it spilled over onto him, and I shouldn’t have let it.” She placed her hand on Monique’s shoulder and left it there. “Believe me, I never wished him any ill, and I’ll be here to help you through this.”
“Thanks, but you can’t know how much I’m going to miss him. You’re mad at the affair and how long I put up with it, but you should realize he would’ve left her sooner. He offered quite a while ago, but I told him not to. When we met, Ivy was in rehab and he was having problems with his children. I told him no decent man walks out on that. Karma is a bitch I’ve always heard, but this was a hell of a reward for being nice.”
“But you’re a nice person.”
Monique finally laughed, a sad, grating sound. “Stop pretending, Willow. It’s insulting as hell. You can admit that you thought of me as nothing but an idiot from the moment you found out about Jim Bob. You felt sorry for the pathetic little woman who begged her lover for the little scraps he threw her way, and you were pissed that the big fool was your sister.”
“Monique, come on,” she said, trying to calm Monique down, the fact she was dead-on like a weight on her chest.
“I’m being serious, but you be honest. It’s not like I’m going to hate you for it, or punish you. Just admit it, and stop apologizing. It’s hypocritical because we both know it doesn’t mean anything.” Monique sat up and peered at her with an intensity Willow seldom saw. “We were happy, and now he’s gone. He isn’t coming back, and Grady will never know him. My son will never know the rest of Jim Bob’s family either, because you’re right—I’m a fucking idiot.”
“Hey, hey,” she said when Monique began sobbing in earnest. “I don’t think you’re a damn idiot. My problem with the whole thing was you weren’t selfish enough. As far as Jim Bob’s family—that can be fixed. You can start with Tucker, maybe, and she can introduce you to her parents. They’re the only family that counts here, and I’m sure they’ll all want to know Grady.” She held Monique even though she was pulling away. “It sounds like his sister is the one person besides you who knew him best, and it might be a great thing for her to know he left this wonderful little guy behind.”
“You think she’ll believe me?”
“I’m sure she will when she sees Grady. He’s Jim Bob’s son, but he actually looks a lot like Tucker.” Please don’t start asking questions, she thought. Tucker’s body and that handsome face were seared into her mind like someone had used a branding iron. Maybe she and Monique had some genetic flaw that weakened their senses when it came to the Delacroix siblings, and no one in the medical community had studied it yet.
“Jim Bob always said the same thing. He never told her, but he left her a gift at the sperm bank in case she changed her mind about kids. I hope he wrote that down somewhere.”
It was a strange conversation, but Monique had calmed down, and that was all she cared about. Jim Bob’s sperm wasn’t something she ever wanted to contemplate, though, so she needed to change the subject. “Hopefully he did. How about you tell me how you met.”
“You never asked me that.”
She laid Monique back down and held her hand. “Tell me now. I really want to know, in case you need help with Tucker.”
“Do you think she’s nice?” Monique sniffled some more, but she seemed in a better state of mind. “Tucker, I mean.”
“When you’re not cursing her out, she’s the best.” But then, she didn’t know her all that well, did she? Hopefully Tucker was what she seemed, and not what Willow thought she was.
Chapter Seven
“Mom, I don’t control Ivy or what she says, much less what she does.” Tucker had her cell on speaker since she’d just gotten out of the
shower and was getting dressed. The last three days had been a nightmare of funeral arrangements and nonstop calls from Ivy and her mother. Each liked to complain the other was the devil incarnate, and Tucker was somehow supposed to fix that, or at least convince each woman in turn she was as crazy as wearing wool in August for a walk in the New Orleans summer.
“If you tell me to ignore that bitch one more time, I swear I’m going to drive to your house and put you over my knee.” In the last three days her mom had dealt with Ivy more than she had in ten years, and it wasn’t going well. Her mother’s pragmatism didn’t fare well when confronted with Ivy’s alcoholism. “What in the hell your brother ever saw in that woman is beyond all comprehension.”
Her mother dealt with stress by making lists and making her way through them, and Ivy handled stress with straight vodka. If they didn’t bury Jim Bob soon, either Tucker was going to drive off a cliff, if Louisiana had any, or start drinking herself. The alcohol option might help her understand Ivy’s ramblings better because up to now conversations with Ivy were like trying to do quantum physics after a night of Hurricanes on an empty stomach.
The clashes had started when Ivy insisted on going to the funeral home with them and picked a purple and gold casket with big tiger ornaments on each corner and an airbrushed painting of the football stadium on the top. Granted, Jim Bob had been an avid LSU fan all his life, but it was a bold choice that was quickly vetoed, along with the idea of burying him with Ivy’s family. That idea resulted in Tucker having to restrain her mother from slapping Ivy all the way out to the parking lot. It would’ve been entertaining as hell, but wrong. She knew that on the same deep level that she knew she didn’t have time to bail her mother out of jail.
Now that Jim Bob was headed for the Delacroix tomb, the new chew bone they were fighting over was the Delacroix house and its contents. Ivy thought since Jim Bob had dropped dead, she could continue to live there before passing it to one of the children. In Ivy’s booze-soaked brain cells, Bubba and Tara were the only true Delacroix heirs, and Tucker was some sort of servant there to make all her wishes come true. Tucker was way too tall to carry off the fairy godmother outfit.
