by Pamela Cayne
* * *
Lady woke to Nessie gently shaking her shoulder. She opened her eyes and saw the garish crimsons and golds of her professional bedroom. It felt like sand was in her eyes and a heavy weight was on her chest. She looked toward the windows and guessed it to be midday.
“Lady, thank goodness I knew enough to look in here for you this time. I let you sleep as long as I could but you need to wake up. Mr. Adams is going to be here soon and you look like a warmed-over corpse. Get up and rinse your face and I’ll make you some strong tea.” Mrs. Nesbitt pulled Lady to her feet and made sure her charge wasn’t going to slide back down to the floor before leaving.
After Mrs. Nesbitt departed, Lady pulled the draperies and looked out. Her gaze fell on the graveyard in the distance and she remembered last night. She touched her hand to her face where King had and finally recognized the weight on her chest—despair.
She let the draperies fall, blocking the view, and went to the bathroom to wash her face and run cold water on her wrists. Anything to take this numbness away. If the water didn’t do the trick, she’d better think of something else. With Mr. Adams coming over, she needed to be alert and alluring.
As she was changing into an appropriate dress, Mrs. Nesbitt came back upstairs, bringing the tea with her. She set it on Lady’s dressing table, saying, “Sit and drink while I do your hair.”
Lady took a sip of tea and started to feel better. As long as she had Nessie, she’d be all right. They could be happy here. After the tournament ended, things would settle down and Mr. Adams would go back to his usual self. There wouldn’t be such a risk with that ending. After all, what good was a happy ending if you spent every day looking over your shoulder?
“Are you well?” Nessie asked, braiding her hair into a sleek rope. “You seem down this morning.”
“I think the fights are getting everybody’s blood all heated. It’s exhausting trying to keep everybody happy, especially Mr. Adams.”
“You know to worry about Mr. Adams first and foremost. He’ll take care of you if you take care of him, and that will make us all happy.” She lightly pinched Lady on the cheek. Lady looked at Nessie in the mirror and smiled at Nessie’s good cheer.
“And speaking of Mr. Adams caring for you, he called me over last night because he wanted to know how you were doing.” Nessie returned to braiding Lady’s hair. “But you knew that, since he’s used his knee as an excuse before to get me over there.”
“So he wanted to know if he caused irreparable harm night before last.” Lady couldn’t stop the surge of bitterness. “That, or he was worried I’d hurt him back.”
“Or both.” Nessie gave a little snort of a laugh. “He was real proud of how you were last night, though. He said you were a lady through and through.”
“The night of... The night of the party, he made a comment about putting me in charge of the Red Door. I’m hoping it’s typical Mr. Adams, forgetting an idea soon after he has it.” She met Nessie’s eyes in the mirror, but it was hard. Nessie was looking like Lady had said they were being given the crown jewels. “Did he say anything to you about it?”
“No, not a word. But, oh, Lady—wouldn’t it be grand?” With Lady’s long plait of hair still in her hands, Nessie grabbed Lady’s shoulders and squeezed, a trembling smile on her face. “You would be so rich and powerful and live in such luxury.”
“You don’t think it would be getting more snared in the spider’s web?” Lady felt bad as she watched Nessie’s face fall. She could tell herself she believed staying here with Nessie would be her happy ending, but as a madam at the Red Door? That was a bite too big to swallow.
“It’s a dream come true.” Nessie went back to styling Lady’s hair, the excitement clearly crushed from her. “Think of it this way—yes, you’re still mistress to the Earl of the East End, but you’d also be in a position to put other girls under his nose so you’d get a break. Eventually he’d find somebody new and you’d be off his hook, but still have a rich business to support you.” She took out part of the braid and started to rework it. After a moment of fidgeting with it she said, “I also think he feels bad about what he did. Mayhaps you should forgive him. And if he offers the Red Door to you again, you should take it, take whatever Mr. Adams offers. He cares for you, Lady, and only wants what’s best for you. I know it.”
Tell me you don’t believe you deserve a happy ending. King’s voice echoed through her head. Lady could feel it resonating down to her toes, the feeling strange and a little uncomfortable. “He has a funny way of showing he cares.”
Nessie stopped and looked at Lady in the mirror. Lady raised her eyes but not her head. “One mistake. One mistake and you’re going to tar him as not caring?” Nessie sounded both wounded and outraged. Lady hadn’t wanted to cause her friend grief, but she was getting a little weary of excusing men who beat, burned or raped her. Maybe she should have told her friend the whole story of that night after all.
“Perhaps my version of careless comes in a different form, and my count of mistakes tallies higher than one.” Lady lowered her eyes again. Nessie didn’t say anything but Lady could feel her tension in how she was winding her hair into a coronet and jabbing pins in to hold it in place.
“Careless doesn’t mean heartless,” Nessie said, breaking the brittle silence. “Just because a man hurts you don’t mean he’s always going to hurt you. You think another man is never going to hurt you, that King would never hurt you? Oh, yes, I’ve noticed how you look at him, how you always have, and don’t think I didn’t realize what it meant when you had me send a new dress to his place after Mr. Adams’s party. Believe you me, Lady, your King will hurt you worse than Mr. Adams ever will. The bruises Mr. Adams gives you will fade, but the pain King causes never will. That kind of pain scars your soul.” Nessie’s voice held tears and Lady felt that weight return to lodge directly over her heart. “If you don’t give Mr. Adams some consideration, mayhaps you are nothing more than a whore.”
Lady flinched and turned to look at Nessie. Tears ran down her face, dropping onto her shoulder. In the years Lady had known her, lived with her, she’d never seen Nessie cry. She stood up to talk to her, take her in her arms, but a loud knock sounded from downstairs and froze her in place.
“That’ll be Mr. Adams,” Nessie said, as expressionless as if she would have said Here’s your tea.
Lady nodded, hating to have them end the discussion like this but knowing they had to. Regardless of either of their feelings toward Mr. Adams, he did pull the strings.
“I’ll try.” Lady said the only thing she could as Nessie started to leave to answer the door. Lady felt like she’d smoothed over that molehill but she still faced a mountain before her. As Nessie went to admit Mr. Adams, Lady closed her eyes and took three deep breaths, each one filling her with a quiet calm, a haughty seduction and a person who didn’t fit as well as she had yesterday.
“Won’t you wait in the parlor, Mr. Adams? I’ll get Lady for you.” Nessie’s voice carried upstairs and Lady opened her eyes, ready to play this game. She waited until Nessie came upstairs and met Lady with a wink. “Mr. Adams to see you, Lady,” Nessie loudly announced from the doorway and she was smiling like a mama who’d matched her only daughter to a landed baron. “I’ll make some tea.”
“Thank you, Mrs. Nesbitt. I’ll be right down.”
Lady descended the stairs, her mind whirling like a child’s toy. King, Mr. Adams, Nessie—suddenly the relationships in her life had become complicated and confusing. For the first time in a long time, she had no idea what was going to happen next and it truly scared her. Beauty could always be taken away. With a house full of prostitutes at his disposal and probably half the women of the East End as well, would King be so interested if she were scarred or maimed?
She chased the dismal thought away and put a small smile on her face as she entered the parlor and gave
a small curtsy. “Mr. Adams, how lovely to see you. I trust your day is pleasant?”
“Look at you,” he said in a reverent voice. “You could be in Buckingham Palace and nobody would know different.” He rose from his place on the sofa and walked toward her. The only things keeping Lady in her place were the look of joyous wonder on his face and that his hands were not clasped into fists. “You have the face of an angel and the manners of a duchess. I should be so lucky if you were to run the Red Door. Men would come just to be in your presence, hope to kiss your hand. You would double my business in a month’s time.” He circled her slowly and Lady felt panic grip her tightly. He’d brought up the idea of her stepping into Mrs. Henderson’s position again, and that meant the noose was getting tighter. “I’m afraid I can’t give you the respectability you need, but you now have something those toffs at Buckingham value just as much.” He reached up and clipped something on her ears, something heavy from the feel of it. He slowly circled her and from behind her, he ran his hand down the back of her arm, lifting it and sliding a diamond and sapphire bracelet on it. “Jewels,” he whispered against her neck and slid something else onto her finger.
Lady walked to the mirror and drew in her breath. Two sapphires, each as large as a walnut, hung from her ears in a circle of diamonds, the clips at her ears anchored by diamonds half as big. She looked down at the matching bracelet on her wrist, and a ring holding a matching sapphire circled by diamonds on her finger. As she was concentrating on breathing with the richness of the jewels winking at her, Mr. Adams came up behind her and looked at her reflection over her shoulder. “Perfect. I knew they’d match your eyes.”
Lady looked at the security on her wrist and her hand. Women were beaten every day but few were given a king’s ransom in jewels to ease the pain. This might be her happily-ever-after.
“Come over here, pet.” He returned to the sofa and patted the seat beside him. “I need to talk to you.”
She crossed the room, putting an extra little sway to her hips. Mr. Adams seemed to be in a good mood and she didn’t want that to change. He also seemed especially devoted, and she might be able to use that to her advantage. If nothing else, it would keep him from noticing what felt like her obvious confusion.
“Yes, Mr. Adams?” she cooed, sitting beside him and barely resting her fingertips on his knee. Respectable and naughty all at once.
He playfully snapped his teeth at her like a dog and Lady smiled. Her numbness was finally wearing off and it was coming back to her how to do this. When Mr. Adams was generous and playful, it made her cage seem comfortable and secure rather than restricting and confining. Perhaps if King hadn’t been involved, Mr. Adams wouldn’t have been so jealous as to do what he did. Would there have been the one without the other?
He picked up her hand and pressed a wet kiss to it. “Ah, pet, as much as I’d love to stay here and see how you look in those jewels and nothing else, I have business. But I also have business for you too, if it’s all right.”
“Of course, Mr. Adams. Anything I can do to help.”
“I need you to go take a look at King. I heard what you said at the fight yesterday and I’m not going to argue that he’s a crude, smelly thing—especially to a delicate woman such as you,” he added with his version of a charming smile, “but he was awfully banged up yesterday. Your nursing skills have been helping him thus far, and saving me a fair bit in doctor’s fees too, so a few more days is all I ask. If I can trust anybody to protect my investment, it’s you, isn’t it, pet?”
“You know me too well,” she answered and lowered her eyes.
He stood suddenly, pulling Lady with him in an almost violent gesture. She felt a flare of panic and then realized he was being exuberant. Mr. Adams had long ago given up on aping his betters and proclaimed his version of chivalry good enough. This was simply his way of helping her to her feet.
He gripped her hips and pulled her against him, snapping his teeth at her again but this time making the gesture a little slower. She slowly lowered her head, cupping his face in her hands, and thought of brown and gold eyes as she let him kiss her.
“I’ll be back tomorrow night. Mrs. Nesbitt can prepare us supper and we’ll see if you can earn the matching necklace, a lovely little piece that makes your earrings look like a doll’s set.”
“I’ll tell her to serve something for stamina.” Lady playfully snarled at him and nipped at his ear. Yes, she was remembering how to do this.
Mr. Adams looked at her, his eyebrows raised. He started to chuckle, then wagged his finger at her and chuckled some more. He released her, blew her a kiss and left. Lady waited until she heard his carriage leave before sitting on the couch and laying her head against its back, closing her eyes. She pulled off the earrings, bracelet and ring and let them fall on the cushions. What was she supposed to do?
“You got flowers,” Nessie said from the doorway.
“Put them in the entry. Mr. Adams will be back tomorrow night and he’ll expect to see them.”
“They’re not from Mr. Adams.”
King. Lady sat up quickly, opening her eyes to see what the foolish man had sent her.
It was a large bouquet of lilies, primroses and lavender, the size and colors overwhelming Nessie’s tiny frame. Lady was standing up to pull them into her arms when she saw the bow holding the flowers together.
It was the lace tie from her dress last night. The flowers were from Jonathan.
“Burn them, and find a dress to match those for tomorrow night.” She pointed at the jewels lying discarded on the couch, ignoring Nessie’s gasp. She grabbed a cloak and her purse. “I have to go see King.”
Chapter Fifteen
Lady walked to King’s, the distance passing in the loud, rapid beat of her footsteps. The only thing she had wanted to do in the past twenty-four hours was curl up and be alone. Mr. Adams, King, Jonathan, even Mrs. Nesbitt—she needed some time to sort out her thoughts, but whenever she thought she reached that haven, somebody did something to confuse her even further.
What did King think he was doing, trying to fill her head with dreams of happy endings? He was certainly in no place to offer one and it was impossible anyway. All he was doing was making things worse.
By the time Lady spotted King’s door, she was angrier than she had been in years, and it was all because of one man. Without King and his damned fairy tale, she wouldn’t be in this position. She’d be like she was before—a few harmless fantasies to make the nights not quite so dark, but overall blissfully uncaring and content with her lot.
She pounded on the door and was raising her hand to bang on it again when King opened it, his chest bare save the bandage immobilizing his upper arm against his side. Seeing the reason for her fury, the bastard who had the gall to question her life when he was living in the same dark hole, brought all of her rage to the surface. Without stopping her motion, she balled up her fist and punched him just below his right shoulder. Only a last-second warning from deep inside kept her from hitting the mouth he’d used to spout his fairy tales from. She might be furious, but she wasn’t stupid.
“What the hell was that for?” he yelled, his bound arm keeping him from touching the spot she’d hit, though she could tell he was trying. He threw the door open all the way and took a menacing step toward her. Somewhere deep, Lady knew she should be afraid, was afraid, but she was also tired of being the one on the receiving end. Let somebody else feel some pain for once.
“That was for last night,” she shouted back, taking a step forward so she was only an inch or two away from him. “For your little drama of what do you want and you can have a happy ending and messing with my perfectly good life!” She raised her hand to hit him again, but King grabbed her wrist.
“If your life was so good, why did you come to me after Mr. Adams raped you?” His voice echoed back into his rooms and out int
o the street. Lady gasped, the noise filling her ears as his shout died out.
“How dare you?” she hissed, jerking her wrist out of his grasp and taking a step forward, forcing him a step back. “You know nothing about me or what I want, why I do what I do.” She took another step forward, stabbing a finger at him but not touching him. “For all you know, Mr. Adams asked me to come here to discover where your loyalties lie. For all you know, I came here to seduce you so I’d have an ace in my pocket.” She leaned in so close that she could have pressed her lips forward and kissed him, and added in a low voice, “Or make that a King in my skirts.”
King shut the door behind her, his eyes locked on hers, and Lady was waiting for his anger to come back. She wanted this fight, desperately needed this fight, and now that she was hitting as low as he had, he started to look at her with sadness and pity. The lava coursing from her rage started to cool and crack.
“I saw the bruises,” he said in a soft voice and tears stung her eyes.
“No.” She shoved his chest hard, throwing him back a step. Lady advanced and reached out to do it again, but he placed his free hand over hers and held her immobile, saying, “I saw the cuts.”
“No,” she said again, much weaker this time, struggling to pull away while tears coursed down her face.
“I saw the blood,” he whispered and pulled her against him, his body protecting her from the outside but unable to help what she was feeling inside.
Lady balanced on the precipice, hovering between completely breaking down and choking it back to where the rest of her emotions lived. King’s arms, even with the one injured, were comforting, but they also felt like another cage. A strong, supportive cage, but a cage regardless.
With a burst of anger, she jerked out of King’s embrace and shouted, “No, you saw nothing! You only saw what I wanted you to see, don’t you understand? You saw nothing.”
